2 Hours

2 Hours

by L.E McMurray

TITLE: 2 Hours
AUTHOR: L.E McMurray
EMAIL: louiseellen@mcmurrayc.fsnet.co.uk
CATEGORY: Angst, Missing Scene/Epilogue,Thoughts
PAIRING: Daniel/Sha're
SPOILERS: Forever In A Day
SEASON / SEQUEL: 3
RATING: G
CONTENT WARNINGS: character death
SUMMARY: Thoughts of the team two hours after Sha're's death.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This was just something I came up with quickly and I had to write and send in.

*Daniel*

Two hours.

It's been two hours since I saw her die.

Two hours since she looked at me after the Gould died and whispered those three words.

The first words she learned in English.

I've been lying here for the last hour or so trying to understand why.

Why she had to die?

Why she had to be taken?

Why was my friend the one who had done this to me?

Janet is fussing over me trying to get me to talk to her but I don't have the ability to talk to anyone just now.

Jack would probably laugh that I'm not speaking but unless Sha're's sitting there I don't want to talk; I don't want to do anything.

I still feel awful from the ribbon device but at least I got to be with her in someway just for a while. She told me to forgive Teal'c, told me about the boy and I promised her I'd find him then she kissed me.

I can still feel her lips on mine, her fingers running through my hair. I just want her back.

Two hours and still counting.

Closing my eyes I can feel tears burning in my eyes and pretend to sleep. I don't want to speak to anyone except her, except my Sha're.

*Jack*

Two hours.

It's been two hours since Daniel's world was destroyed around him.

Two hours since he hasn't said one word to anyone.

It's really scary that Daniel isn't talking, that's been the one constant in my life the last few years. Daniel ALWAYS talks. Seeing him lying there across from her I just felt the world stop in this strange scene.

Sha're lying there dead, gone taking part of Daniel with her. I just hope what's left of him can survive.

I'm really worried about him just lying there. He hasn't even asked to see her body; he just lies there staring into space.

His normally expressive blue eyes are dead and blank. His life has been destroyed.

Kasuf is standing with me; he's possibly the one person who'll be able to get through whatever walls Daniel's placing between himself and the rest of us.

Two hours ago his world came to a standstill.

All I can do is be here and hope he'll get through it.

*Sam*

Two hours.

Two hours since Daniel lost that hope.

The central fact of his life was that hope he'd find his wife and they'd be together again.

I can see the burn in the middle of his forehead from across the room. A wound from his experience today that will disappear but the deepest wound is in his soul and I don't think that will ever heal.

The Colonel is comforting Kasuf as best he can while Teal'c is talking to General Hammond.

Janet knows I'm really only watching over him so she's just letting me pretend to work here.

He's curled into a ball and I can see tears on his cheeks. I want to go comfort him, I want to put my arms around him and let him cry on my shoulder but I don't.

I'm not who he wants to see, I'm not the one he wants to hold him. The one he wants will never be there ever again.

Two hours since it happened.

And all I can do for my friend is watch and be here for him.

*Teal'c*

Two hours.

A short time since I once again caused Daniel Jackson the greatest pain imaginable.

I explained to General Hammond what had happened and his words echoed that of Daniel Jackson.

I know I did the right thing in saving his life but in that act I may have completely destroyed his spirit.

He carried his wife's body back through the Stargate and managed to place her on the waiting gurney before he collapsed exhausted into O'Neill's arms.

The silence from him is very disconcerting.

I would give my own life to prevent this but placed in the same situation I would do the same thing.

Two hours have passed but it seems a great deal longer since my friend's life was destroyed by my hand.

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to L.E McMurray

Janet

Two days.

Two days since Daniel’s life had crumbled, since the death of his wife and I was very worried about him. The thing about Daniel is that he rarely has nothing to say but he hasn’t spoken more than a few words since they returned to Earth.

He finally went to see her body yesterday. Colonel O’Neill took him down and brought him back within the space of fifteen minutes. Her body was then returned to Abydos with Kasuf and the funeral is in three days to give Daniel enough time to recover from the physical injuries he bears from this mission. God alone knows how long the emotional scars will take to heal, if they ever do.

It can’t be easy for him, to know the last thing she was trying to do was kill him, even if she wasn’t in control. I just wish he’d talk to us. Any one of us but he just lies there, wrapped up in his own little world not letting anyone else in.

I’m seriously thinking of letting Cassie come to see him.

When I told her what happened, I could hear her softly start to cry in sympathy, she asked to come and help but I refused. I didn’t think it would be the best thing for him but now I’m wondering if I was right. Cassie adores all of SG1 but she has a particular bond with Daniel, since they have a lot in common. I’ll definitely bring her here after school.

The rest of SG1 are hovering around, pretending to be doing something other than watching over him but they’re pretty obvious. Sam’s sitting writing up reports in my office, watching over him. Teal’c is meditating in the corner but I know he’s listening carefully for any change in Daniel. Then there’s the Colonel…Jack. He has that look on his face that tells me he’d rather do anything other than let Daniel go through this alone, unfortunately Daniel just isn’t letting anyone in.



After they had returned to Earth and I had Daniel recovering, I went to start the medicals on the rest of the team. Jack was nowhere to be found so I left Sam and Teal’c in the capable hands of Dr. Warner and I went hunting.

I found him in the morgue, standing over the body of Sha’re.

“Colonel?” I asked softly as I joined him.

“She was such a sweet kid,” he said softly as he gently brushed a lock of hair out of her face, “But strong. She loved Daniel so much. This shouldn’t have happened.”

I placed a hand on his arm, “Colonel, you need your post-mission medical.”

He turned to me sadness filled his brown eyes, “Janet, I have to stay until Kasuf finishes talking to Hammond.”

I nodded, “Do you mind some company?”

He gave me a small smile and stepped back so I could see her properly. I have only ever seen the picture that has sat on Daniel’s desk all this time but seeing her in the flesh was quite a jolt. Sha’re looked as though she was merely sleeping and I couldn’t stop thinking how beautiful she was. Even in death, her gentle soul seemed to shine through.

“How’s Daniel?” he asked me.

“Physically he’ll recover,” I told him, leaving the rest unspoken.

Jack sighed, “Did you ever hear how they met?” he asked me.

I nodded slightly, “Daniel talked about it one night when he was pretty doped up. It doesn’t seem real, does it? I mean this was practically the first thing I found out about him and now…I didn’t want it to end this way.”

“None of us did,” Jack looked at me and suddenly smiled, “I worried about him after I left him there after the first mission. Despite his assurances he’d be okay, I couldn’t help myself, he’d only met Sha’re two days before. But when we went back and Sha’re appeared beside him, the look they gave each other let me know more than words he was fine.”

Kasuf arrived before any more could be said.

“Kasuf,” Jack greeted him with the respect I’ve only ever seen Jack give Hammond, this showed how high in esteem he held Kasuf.

“O’Neill,” Kasuf gripped his hand, “Thank you for staying with my daughter.”

“I wish I could have done more,” Jack said in a thick voice.

“You did all you could,” Kasuf told him, “As did Dan’iel. How is he?”

Jack turned to me, “Kasuf, this is Dr. Janet Fraiser. She takes care of our health.”

“It is an honour,” Kasuf greeted me with a slight bow of his head, “How is my son?”

That rattled me a little, the way he referred to Daniel but I didn’t show anything, “He’ll be fine in a few days. His injuries should heal quickly.”

“Good,” Kasuf sighed as he moved over to where Sha’re lay.

“I have to get my check-up,” Jack told Kasuf.

“Go,” the old man said, looking at the still form of his daughter, “I shall stay with her until it is time to leave.
”
I didn’t see what happened when Daniel saw her body but Jack was there. Jack told me Daniel and Kasuf embraced before he saw her then Daniel said something that Jack couldn’t understand before they left.

*********************************************

The infirmary is now empty of SG1 except for Daniel. The others are with Hammond, being told about the funeral service; Sam will brief me later. I sent Major Ferretti to collect Cassie from school so I wouldn’t have to leave Daniel’s side, in case he needed anything. Though quite frankly the one thing he needs, he’ll never have again. His wife.

“Daniel,” I said briskly, hoping to get some sort of reaction, “It’s time for me to…” I trailed off, finding an empty bed.

“Daniel?” I called, “Dammit, Daniel?”

“What happened?” Jack demanded as he came in with the other two.

“Daniel’s snuck out,” I said fuming, “He must have done it when I went to fix up Sergeant Newman’s arm.”

Jack sighed, “Dammit, Danny. Okay, Sam, Teal’c, Janet we’ll split up and check the whole SGC,” Jack ordered, “Sam make sure he can’t leave the mountain. Keep in contact with each other and call me and Janet the moment you find him.”

The other two nodded and disappeared.

“Jack,” I said softly, “I think when we find him he’ll probably be ready to talk.”
“Then find him and get me there.”



I took the lower levels of the base.

Originally when Daniel had first joined the SGC, he wasn’t exactly a team player. He’d been more inclined to disappear to brood then and he had a number of hiding places. Between the four of us though, we knew just about every one of them. I was in the storage rooms near the bottom of the base; it was freezing.

“I hope you’re not here, Daniel,” I murmured, with every other thing that was going on he didn’t need pneumonia.

I looked into one of the rooms; there I saw the huddled figure curled against the wall. I could hear muffled sobs and my heart started to break for him all over again.

“Colonel,” I called over the radio, moving far enough away so Daniel didn’t hear me, “I found him.”

“Thank God,” Jack sighed, “Where are you.”

“Hiding place number nine,” I grimaced, “Before you come bring some blankets for him. And hurry.”

I took a deep breath and walked in to where my friend was trying to hide. Without saying a word, I walked across and sat down next to him.

“Daniel?” I said softly.

His head jerked up in surprise, revealing bloodshot puffy eyes. He shuddered as he looked at me and I just pulled him into my arms. He started to cry against my shoulder, the pain he was feeling spilling forth overwhelming him. I looked up to see Jack standing and I motioned him over. Jack gently wrapped two blankets around Daniel before letting him fall against him.

“Shh Daniel,” Jack whispered, holding his friend tightly, “Come on, you need to get back to the infirmary.”

Daniel moved without resistance, holding onto Jack for all his life was worth. I walked with them back to the infirmary. Once we were there, I let Jack take him to the bed and closed the curtains giving him some privacy.

Two days since she died.

Two days since his world collapsed around him and I don’t have a clue how to help him.



Jack

Two days.

Two days and I can’t do anything except be here and watch. He’s broken apart, his heart ripped out again and this time, there’s not even a shred of hope it can be repaired. I don’t even want to know what he was thinking, hiding down in the coldest place in the whole damn complex. Now I’m sitting in the infirmary with him clinging to me, I seem to be the one thing that he’s holding onto at the moment. He’s still not talking but at least I’m getting something other than that blank look he’s had for the past few days. If he starts working through the pain, maybe we can still get him back in one piece.



Daniel finally fell asleep having cried himself into exhaustion. I made sure he was safely tucked up and wouldn’t be making another unscheduled trip. I went to see Janet to find out what she thought.

“How is he?” she asked me, the moment I appeared.

“Asleep,” I dropped in the seat next to her, “He’s a wreck.”

“I know,” she told me softly, “I’ll make sure he hasn’t done himself anymore damage with his little excursion when he wakes up.”

She dropped her head into her hands.

“You look tired,” I said, stating the obvious.

“I want to be able to fix this,” she cried, “It’s what I do. And there is nothing I can do to help him.”

It’s not normally something I’d do but I gave her a hug. We both needed it, needed to know we weren’t alone in our journey to help him.

Janet gave me a smile, “Thank you, Colonel. You make a great teddy bear.”

I laughed, “You’ll ruin my reputation if you tell.”

She gave me a smile before checking her watch, “Cassie should be here soon. I sent Ferretti to get her from school.”

I nodded in agreement, “I think Cassie could be just what he needs right now. Someone who he knows won’t be looking for anything other than to be with him. She’s less…threatening.”

“Sha’re?” Daniel’s voice cut through the silence we were sitting in, “Sha’re?”

We both dived up, instantly heading to him. Daniel was tossing uncomfortably.
“Harcesis, Kheb,” he murmured, “I promise. Forgive Teal’c. Sha’re!!!!”

He opened his eyes and looked at us watching over him.

“She’s really gone,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, “I failed her.”

Before he could turn away from me, I pulled him into an embrace and let him cry again.

“I couldn’t save her, Jack,” he cried, “Why couldn’t I save her?”

I looked over at Janet, who nodded slightly and pulled the curtains around the bed.

Two days it took.

Two days before he started to feel it and now we have to wait and see what happens.



Cassie

Two days.

Two days since Daniel lost his wife.

Mom had told me I couldn’t go and see him just now because he needed space, so I was shocked to see Major Ferretti waiting for me at the school gates.

“Hello?” I said, walking over to him, I could see I was getting strange looks from the other kids but I didn’t care.

“Hey, Cassie,” he smiled at me, “Your Mom sent me to take you to the base,” he gave me a questioning look, “You know what happened to Daniel?”

I nodded.

“Well Janet thinks that you may be able to help,” he told me.

I felt a few tears in my eyes and nodded again.

The ride to the base didn’t take that long and the moment I could, I jumped out of the jeep. Sam greeted us at the entrance and hugged me tightly. Walking down to the infirmary, we ran into Teal’c. I made a point of giving him a big hug, knowing how upset he was for how he’d saved Daniel’s life.

Teal’c gave me one of his rare smiles before releasing me back to Sam and my journey to see Daniel.

When I finally reached the infirmary, Mom gave me a hug and so did Jack. They both looked really tired.

“Cassie,” Jack took my hand, “Daniel is really upset just now and hurting badly. I need you just to remind him he’s not alone.”

“How do I do that?” I asked confused.

“You sit there and you just be with him for a while,” Jack told me, “You’re the best person to do that. Can you?”

“Of course, Jack,” I told him, wiping the tears that had built up again.

“Good girl,” he hugged me tightly, “Thank you, honey.”

I swallowed and walked towards the cordoned off bed where Daniel was. He was curled up in the bed, facing the other way so I wandered round. His eyes were closed and I could see he’d been crying. This scared me. I’ve never known him to be like this and I wanted to find some way to change it.

“Cassie?” Daniel opened his eyes and looked at me amazed.

“Hi, Uncle Daniel,” I gave him a half smile. It’s been a long time since I called him that but I wanted him to know he still had us.

He bit his lower lip; I think he was trying not to cry. I slipped up to sit on the bed next to him and leaned over wrapping my arms around him.

“We all love you,” I told him, “You’re not alone.”

“I know, honey,” he whispered, “I just feel…” he sighed, closing his eyes again.

I just kept hugging him and soon he was sleeping again.

Two days ago Daniel’s wife died.

Two days since Daniel, who I count as my family lost what he considered his world and I just hoped he knew we all still loved him.



Daniel

Two days.

Two days ago I lost her completely.

Janet was not pleased when I went hiding but I needed to be somewhere that didn’t have people watching all the time. I needed somewhere that I could cry, somewhere to let myself feel the absolute pain in my soul where no one would walk in on me. I didn’t count on the fact that Jack and co know everywhere I used to hide. When Janet arrived, I was too far-gone in my misery to stop myself crying in her arms. Then Jack arrived and I found myself back in the infirmary.

“Just let it out, Danny,” he whispered, holding me like a child as I cried myself to sleep.

The next thing I knew I woke up to find Cassie standing beside my bed. Her hug and reassurances that everyone loved me was so comforting, I couldn’t believe it. I guiltily used to feel envious of the little girl we had rescued. She had lost her whole family like I had; yet someone took her in, she found people who loved her and helped her while all I had ever got was shoved around. Now however, I was just so grateful that she was with me.

“I love you, Uncle Daniel,” I heard her whisper as I fell asleep again.



I woke up to see Janet nearby.

“How do you feel, Daniel?” she asked, when she saw me awake.

“Tired,” I whispered, “I’m just so tired.”

“I know,” she told me, “You’ve recovered well from the burn and your little trip out, so you can get out of here if you want.”

“Thank you,” I tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it.

“Daniel,” Janet squeezed my arm comfortingly, “We’re all here for you. You just have to remember that.”

“I do.”

Two days had passed.

Two days and I was still going; I just had to take it one day at a time.

Hammond

Two weeks.

Two weeks have passed since the death of Dr Jackson’s wife and he’s coming back to work today.

To be honest, I feel he should take more time but Jack told me if they stay off anymore, he’s going to go crazy so today they’re coming back to start work.

SG1 doesn’t have a mission scheduled for at least another week and once we see how Dr Jackson manages in the base over the next few days, I’ll decide whether or not it should be pushed back.

I remember the day I lost my own wife, the emptiness that filled me was at least held at bay slightly by my children and granddaughters but Dr Jackson, Daniel doesn’t have that.

Kasuf had to stay on Abydos after the funeral; Daniel and Jack stayed for a few days but from what Jack told me when they returned, Dr Jackson demanded to leave.

After the obligatory medical, they left the base and until the phone call last night I heard nothing.

I will admit that I have a soft spot for the members of SG1 and like every member of this base, I dreamed that we would find and save Dr Jackson’s wife. It was a dream we knew was very possible to attain, unlike destroying the Gould completely.

Jolinar being removed from Major Carter, the repair of Thor’s Hammer and Machello’s little landmines gave us that ability; unfortunately Teal’c had no choice but to fire.

Daniel Jackson’s abilities and skills are needed within the SGC and I would loathe to lose him from the program. However, only time will tell whether he can stay where everything reminds him of what he’s just lost.

Two weeks.

From this moment we’re in limbo waiting whether or not we’re going to lose him from the programme.

SAM

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since Daniel’s life imploded.

He spent the few days after the funeral on Abydos and since they returned he’s been hiding in the Colonel’s house.

Any time I called, the Colonel told me Daniel was doing okay but not to come over. I wanted to see him, I wanted to help but I guess no one can really help him more than Jack can right now. The General told me Daniel’s due back to work today so I made sure I bought some of his favourite cookies.

I’m worried now that he’ll leave, for good. From what I heard, Daniel demanded to leave Abydos after only a few days when he and Kasuf had some sort of argument. We need Daniel in the SGC, SG1 need Daniel to function as a unit and I need Daniel as my friend. He inspires ideas in me I normally never would come up with; we’ve bounced off each other from the moment we met and if he leaves the programme we’ll all suffer.

The worst thing is, I’m trying to think up reasons to give him to stay when the only person that truly mattered to him is now gone.

As much as I want to see him; I’m really worried that when I do, he’ll be saying goodbye and I don’t know how I’ll cope if he does that.


JACK

Two weeks.

It’s now two weeks since Sha’re died and Daniel basically turned into a basket case. Okay, that’s not fair but he’s not acting very rationally at the moment.

I have no idea what he and Kasuf argued about but I was sitting with one of Sha’re’s aunts being fed again, I’m telling you I haven’t eaten so much in years, when Daniel appeared and demanded we go back to Earth.

I managed to talk to Kasuf as Daniel packed his stuff who told me that patience was required just now but wouldn’t tell me why they’d been arguing. When we got back to the base, we went through the medical where Daniel said nothing unless Janet asked him a direct question before we were released.

I don’t think I’ve had a full nights sleep since we got back and the worst thing is I’m not the one with insomnia.

Daniel wanders around the house constantly, picking things up putting them down occasionally putting on the TV and channel hopping before bouncing back up and walking around again.

To be honest, he’s driving me nuts.

Carter keeps calling to check up on him but I keep putting her off coming over, since I don’t think he’s up for company, especially Carter. That sounds rotten but she’s got a habit of being a little over-emotional when he’s hurting. It’s a sort of reaction between them. One hurts the other reacts, cause they really are like siblings; I tease them a lot about being twins separated at birth but it’s times like these I wonder.

Daniel’s started muttering to himself again, I can make out the words Sha’re and Kheb and the rest is in what I think is Abydonian. That’s the other thing he keeps doing is talk to himself in foreign languages, I counted six I could almost recognise last night.

Tomorrow we go back to work and to be honest, I don’t know if he’ll handle it but I have no choice.

It’s been two weeks and we need to go back to real life. And he needs to learn to live again.

Daniel

Two weeks.

She was killed before my eyes two weeks ago and I still can’t believe it.

Being on Abydos after the funeral didn’t feel real, I wanted to find comfort there but there was none.

Kasuf came to see me one night and told me that although it hurt now, a day would come when it wouldn’t. How could he say that? She was his daughter; she was my wife and my soul mate. Just hearing someone say her name is like a knife through my heart.

I know I’m worrying Jack but I can’t sleep and I can’t rest. My mind feels like it’s spinning constantly, I haven’t been able to stop it or stop myself.

I’m so tired, I want to be able to sleep but I can’t. I don’t think I’ve slept properly since the night before we got the call from Kasuf, actually I don’t think I’ve slept properly since the night before she was taken from me, the last night I slept with Sha’re wrapped around me. And now…

Thinking about the day she died makes me want to scream so I have to do something, I don’t care what it is but I need something. Jack keeps watching me as I think about the message she gave me and try to work out where Kheb could be. I will find her son even if my friends won’t back me up.

Two weeks.

Two weeks since the light of my life was snuffed out and I’ve got to go on in the dark.