Life in the Fast Lane: Daniel

Life in the Fast Lane: Daniel

by Meriem Clayton

Summary: After the Stargate becomes public, life as a celebrity nearly destroys Sam, Jack, and Daniel
Category: Drama, Romance, Series
Season: Future Season
Pairing: Daniel/Sam, Daniel/other, Jack/Sam, Jack/Sara, Sam/other
Rating: 13+
Warnings: minor character death, minor language, sexual situations
Author's Notes: Disclaimers/Notes:
One of the worst parts of being famous in today's world is the constant scrutiny of every detail of your private life by the world at large. This is a major theme of this series of stories. I applaud the responsible reporters who are motivated by a desire to give the public the information it needs to make informed decisions and who avoid intrusive reporting on private lives. I do not intend to include ethical journalists in my portrayal of the damage done by the bottom feeding segment of the media that is less concerned about truth or impact on the subjects of stories than in how many readers/viewers a story will attract.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/23/05

A man in flowing robes sat cross legged on brightly colored rugs covering a tent floor. The light, flat computer on the low table in front of him seemed completely out of place, the only high tech anywhere in sight. Outside one of the indigenous relatives of the camel brayed. His fellows picked it up and there was a terrific racket until their keeper quieted them. Dr. Daniel Jackson waited it out. He'd lost the earphones for the computer again and would have to have some quiet to be able to hear whatever Jack O'Neill had recorded for him on the DVD his oldest friend faithfully sent him every month.
He clicked the file with Jack's personal message. Jack had recorded himself sitting in the living room of the Minnesota cabin that was his personal fortress. Daniel studied his friend's face. Jack still looked to be in his late fifties just as Daniel appeared to be in his early forties. The older they got, the more obvious it became, no matter how the government tried to deny the "Gate effect," repeated gate travel definitely slowed down aging. Yet while Jack or Daniel's age might not show in their skin, physical frame, and amount of hair, their eyes betrayed the many and difficult miles they had traveled.
Daniel's smile at seeing his friend faded as Jack began to talk about the latest churlish behavior from the older two "Golden Brothers, the nickname that had stuck to Sam's three sons, one each from her failed marriages to Jack and Daniel and one more from the Titanic disaster of her brief marriage to a movie star. Daniel loved the oldest of the Golden Brothers as much as his own son, Jake. Even though Johnny was Jack's biologically and legally, Sam and Daniel had been married when Jake Jackson and Johnny O'Neill, slightly less than a year apart in age, were small. No matter how badly they stomped on Daniel's heart when they got older, it was still theirs.
When the Stargate went public, Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c quite naturally became its biggest celebrities and Daniel had hated almost everything about it. Now Sam's children were cursed with fame too and it wasn't making them happy as far as Daniel could tell. He had promised himself that he would keep his family here on Lisseth hidden as long as he could to protect them from a similar fate.
Daniel still loved Sam and it was important to him that things work out for her. The best news in Jack's message, besides the fact that the new Parkinson's medicine seemed to be helping Jack's wife Sara, was that Sam's fourth marriage, this time to Teal'c, was still apparently healthy.
The real blow to the gut in Jack's message came when Jack leaned forward and said. "I know you like it there on Lisseth. They can't even spell `National Inquirer' and you have a relatively uncomplicated life in the midst of one of the biggest collections of Ancient artifacts we've ever found. You've got all the privacy you could want since the locals regard you as one of them and only agree to a handful of aliens on world at any time. But Daniel you've been living there most of the year for 17 years and hiding out there for the last six. You've got to come back for a while for the sake of our boys. I'm calling in any markers I might have with you and asking you as your oldest friend."
Daniel switched the computer off. He'd catch the rest later but he was in no hurry for the heartbreak of watching sons he could never really know. He also had a lot to mull over in Jack's request.
There was an outburst of musical laughter outside the tent. Still laughing, Chiona said goodbye to her friend, lifted the flag, and entered the tent. She stopped suddenly, surprised to see Daniel. "I thought you were at the far dig until tomorrow. I'm so glad you came back early!" She spoke in English, the family rule inside the tent. Daniel didn't want to take his family back to Earth but he knew that there was a real possibility that there might come a day and so he had seen to it that they were all fluent.
Chiona sank gracefully to sit next to him. He smiled at her, leaned over, and kissed her cheek. "Khalam was worried about the Green People. One of the sweepers saw signs they might be in the vicinity." Daniel chuckled. "You should have seen the little tirade that SG Colonel indulged in. `If this was being managed properly, we would have a full complement of troops here and we wouldn't have to run away like little girls because some bunch of primitives have us in their sights.'"
Chiona asked, "But the Tauri went back to their base as requested?"
Daniel sobered. "They did but the attitude of the SG personnel sent here over the years has been shifting. I am beginning to worry that there may be a change in policy that will cause them to stop respecting local sovereignty."
Chiona was more troubled that he worried than she was by the problem itself. Like all the Blue People, she believed completely that as long as Daniel was with them, they would be safe. She proposed brightly, "Seline has been with Dema this afternoon processing berries. We have some thick soup. Since you're here, why don't I make a pie? We'll have a feast!"
She started to rise and Daniel laid a hand on her arm. "You take such good care of me. Let me help you and there'll be more time for me to work with the two of you and the children on your studies."
A few minutes later, Seline hurried into the tent carrying a huge covered clay pot. Her tiny baby was nestled in a shawl wrapped tightly around her chest. As soon as she set the pot down, Daniel hugged both of them. Seline unwrapped the baby and handed him to Daniel. "Why don't you play with Danny and let me help Chiona. I'm really hungry."
Daniel laughed at her. "I take it you think I'm a slow cook's helper."
She said so affectionately that there was no sting in it, "Hopelessly slow."
"Where are Jak, Tealk, and Trina?" Daniel asked, sitting back down, cradling the still sleeping child.
Seline nodded, "Good question. I need them to go back to Dema's and get the rest."
As if summoned up by magic, two little boys dashed into the tent, chased by a coltish young girl. They circled around Daniel to put him between themselves and their exasperated sister. "Dei," she appealed to him. "The boys have been dreadful. They wouldn't mind me and I haven't been able to get the translation done you assigned me because I've spent the whole afternoon chasing them."
"Jak and Tealk," Daniel said, sounding serious, "come around where I can see you." The boys reluctantly complied and Daniel leveled a look directly at them and said, "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
Jak, at 10 was the spokesman for his younger brother who was only 6. "We did our assignments and our chores and there was no weapons practice today for me but then Trina just wanted us to stay around the tent because she was still working." He slanted a calculating look at his father and added, "We have inquiring minds and needed intellectual challenge."
Trina rolled her eyes. "Which consisted of spooking Jaspar's mounts."
Daniel said, "Did you spook the mounts?"
Jak picked at a scab on his bare foot and said, "We didn't mean to, really."
"But you did?"
"Yes," the boy admitted, still hanging his head.
Daniel pronounced sentence. "You'll go back to Jaspar tomorrow and offer to help him for the afternoon. Understood?" The boys exchanged glances and Jak again said, "Yes."
Trina smiled smugly but Daniel put an end to that by saying, "Trina, I appreciate how much you love your studies but is it possible that you may have completely ignored the boys when a little effort might have found a way to keep them out of trouble?" His voice was gentle but Trina, like all his children, hated to disappoint their father.
"Maybe. I'm sorry Dei. I'll do better next time."
Now Daniel looked over at Chiona. "Chiona, why was Trina here alone all day with the boys?"
Chiona winced. "I asked her and she said she didn't mind."
Daniel repeated, "Why was Trina here alone all day with the boys?"
Chiona slowly admitted. "A couple of my friends wanted to walk over to the west camp for training instead of doing here and there didn't seem to be any reason not to go with them."
"Chiona," he looked around the room, "all of you. I know it's been hard since we lost your mother and that I have to ask you to take on more responsibility because of that. I've been very proud of how well you have all acted most of the time but when you are selfish and don't do your share, which includes obeying your sister," he said pointedly looking at the two little boys, "it makes it hard for all of us. Can I count on you all to remember that?"
They all signaled their agreement one way or another and things quieted down with the two chief noisemakers running off to Dema's for two more large pots. Everything peaceful for the moment, Daniel indulged himself with watching his stepdaughter Seline's boy baby starting to stir in his arms. Everything about the three-month old was so breathtakingly beautiful to his stepgrandfather, even his club foot. Daniel had been reasonably successful at blocking out thoughts of any life other than what he had here on Lisseth but his friend Jack's request had cracked a closed door in his mind. Now, holding Seline's baby, he suddenly was reminded strongly of Johnny's birth.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Jack had refused to be Sam's labor coach when Johnny was on the way. He had tried to fill that role for Sara when Charlie was born and it had almost been too much for him. Watching the woman he loved in pain he had caused, at least from one point of view, made him want to kick ass, not sit watching a doctor do his job, and offering basically touchy feely support as his only contribution. By the time Sam got ready for the actual class, she wasn't living with Jack any more and had filed for divorce. The ugly and unfounded rumors about Sam and Daniel that had circulated while Sam and Jack were married now caused the tabloids to want to believe Daniel was the baby's father. Nothing she said could quash the rumors so why not ask him to be her labor coach?
Daniel was holding Sam's hand when Johnny was born and he fell in love with the child from the moment the doctor pulled him out and laid him, all blood flecked, on Sam's belly to cut the cord. The nurses cleaned the baby up, wrapped him tightly in a receiving blanket, and gave him to Sam. The tiny boy focused on something just a few inches away, not really seeing his mother's face or the man who leaned over her, but they both felt as if this little being was seeing straight into their souls.
After her too brief, from Daniel's point of view, two days in the hospital, Daniel took Sam to a secluded house he had gone to great lengths to rent through third parties so that the public wouldn't find them for awhile and she could get used to being a mother in peace.
Sam wanted to breast feed but Johnny was slightly premature and didn't initially have a good sucking reflex. She was reduced to expressing milk and then feeding it to him with thin plastic tubing that she taped to the side of her breast. Sam was utterly exhausted and her exhaustion began to be problematic for her milk supply. They developed a routine where Daniel took two night time feedings, using expressed milk mixed with formula, if necessary. He fed little Johnny with the plastic tube taped to his finger. In the dark, quiet of the middle of the night, he would hold little Johnny in his arms and feed him and feel as if he had the whole world right there in that tiny child.
After awhile, modesty began to go by the board. Daniel was there and Sam was breast feeding. For both of them, there was nothing sexual about it. The focus was on taking care of Johnny. He would cry and, unless it was a night feeding, they would both be there like a shot. For two weeks, Sam gave up getting dressed and just lived to care for Johnny but, in the end, it paid off. Johnny was nursing vigorously, producing plenty of wet diapers, and the routine was beginning to regularize itself. Daniel had become as comfortable with taking care of him as his mother. Sam had become so used to Daniel being there, sharing the ups and the downs, that they both dreaded the fact that it was all coming to an end.
The plan was that after the first month, Sam would now go back to her condo and begin life as a single mom. Three days later, she called Daniel, asking him to come right away. Johnny was screaming non-stop and she was at the end of her resources. He threw a change of clothes and toiletries in a duffle bag and was there thirty minutes later.
Later that evening when Johnny was sleeping soundly in his bassinet, Daniel came into the bedroom, put his arms around Sam and led her back into the living room. He pulled her down on the couch next to him and began to rub her neck.
"It's so good to have you here. There are few things that can make you feel more alone than to have a tiny baby screaming for hours on end, no matter what you do, and know that you're the only one there to do anything about it," Sam confessed. She leaned back into his strong hands, luxuriating in the massage skills he had learned long before for Sha're's benefit.
Daniel knew he should bide his time. Two days before, Jack, Teal'c, and he had come up with a whole game plan when Jack had asked him to marry Sam. Jack worried about leaving Sam, coping with a baby, to face the difficult world their celebrity had created alone. The utterly bizarre nature of the entire request, a man asking his best friend to marry the man's ex-wife whom his best friend had always loved anyway. Nevertheless, it had been hard for Daniel to agree, hard to put himself in a place to be cut over and over as he was sure he would be, by the fact that Sam still loved Jack even though she had found it impossible to live with him.
The baby in the next room, Sam's smell, the feel of her skin under his hands dictated another time table than the one planned. "Sam, my timing is lousy but I can't help myself."
Sam looked back around at him. "Timing for what?" She obviously wasn't expecting this to be anything good. She tensed waiting to hear it.
"To ask you to let me stay around permanently. Let me be Johnny's, well, not his father. He has a father. One of his caregivers anyway. Let me care for you too. Let me be your husband, Sam." When Daniel finished, absolute silence reigned. Sam stopped breathing for a few seconds.
"You can't marry me because I'm so damn needy right now," Sam finally responded sadly.
Daniel pulled her back into his arms so she was lying across his lap. His blue eyes, with a maelstrom of emotions boiling in their depths, gazed into hers. He said hoarsely, "Let me show you need." He moved one hand up to tighten in her hair. With the other he ran his thumb across her lower lip and then he kissed her. It wasn't a gentleman's kiss or even particularly good from an objective stand point. Had it been an Olympic event, even the American judge would only have given it a 3 out of 10 for technique. But when it came to feeling and desire, all the judges would have been holding up a 10, including the French and the Russians.
When he let her go, her mouth throbbing from his, she gasped, "Daniel, do you know what you are doing?"
He chose to misinterpret her comment. "I can do better," he said. He was a man of his word. They were married within the month. Sam's tabloid queen crown had temporarily been displaced by the intern who reportedly had been inappropriately groped by Madam President but Sam won it back immediately. All other contenders had to slink away completely trounced when in another 6 months it came out that she was pregnant again.
By the time Jacob was born, Sam had retired from active duty, afraid to leave the boys with anyone else after two spectacular celebrity kidnappings in a row where the nannies were implicated. She made occasional public appearances in support of the Stargate Program but she mostly stayed home and went stir crazy.
In between public appearances, Daniel was an archeological consultant to whatever SG teams needed him. If he was gone for more than a day or two, he knew Sam found it intolerable. She had two active toddlers and was still hounded by the ugly underbelly of the third establishment. Getting out of the house was not trivial and making friends was extremely difficult. Unless the prospective friend was as well known as Sam was, there was always a suspicion as to why they wanted to be friends. Sam hadn't started out that way but more than one misjudgment of people's motives had left her with a bad taste in her mouth. Unfortunately the famous people she met bored her silly for the most part. This was America so few known to the general public were famous because they were brilliant. Most were famous because they were beautiful, athletically gifted, had abilities in the performing arts, or were really, really good at making money. Then there were the politicians. It was hard to find soul mates in this group. Daniel had become almost the only one she could have an adult conversation with. He tried to make they set time aside for it, knowing how she craved that after very many hours with Johnny and Jake, as they had started calling little Jacob.
One night Daniel came home beaming. He found Sam giving the boys a bath. "Hello beautiful," he said, patting Sam on the backside and kneeling immediately at the side of the tub to splash the two boys.
"Daddy," 20 month old Johnny said, "Look at me!" He took a mouth full of water and flew it out in a stream. Neither Sam not Daniel blinked at his calling Daniel `Daddy.' He also called Jack, Daddy. At his age, two daddies were even better than one.
Almost one year old Jake contented himself with "Yaya," and came up sputtering trying to imitate the older brother he copied in everything.
"You're juiced about something," Sam commented, curious.
"Am I ever! I've got great news, Sam," Daniel said looking happily at his beautiful wife, looking incredibly sexy in a t-shirt, wet down the front from the exuberant bathing, and the two boys, both his sons as far as what his heart told him, cheerfully splashing in the tub. "It'll have to wait until after the boys are in bed."
"Dr. Daniel Jackson," his wife protested, "that's not fair." Even with a couple of moves that usually reduced him to putty in her hands, she still didn't get her answer until they were sitting together in front of a fire with the baby monitor turned on and a glass of wine each. "Okay, I'm going to have to hurt you if you wait any longer to tell me what this is about," Sam teased.
"They need my help on a major Ancient find but it would be six months or more off-world. I told them I wouldn't do it unless they let me take my family with me OR allowed me to come back every weekend. It's obviously cheaper for you to come. Johnny could come back for his monthly visits with Jack or Jack could come to the site."
Sam had been looking at him very puzzled. She clearly hadn't seen see why this was something to get excited about and became even less enthusiastic when Jack's name came up. "Sam, think about it. We can be somewhere where we don't have a public. We can free for the first time in years."
Sam's expression reflected dawning comprehension. "All right. I'm not doing any science at this point here either," she accepted with a notable lack of enthusiasm.
It stretched into the happiest year of Daniel's life. He had exciting work, the woman he had loved for years, and his two boys in a place where they were just ordinary people. The only cloud was that it clearly was not the happiest period in Sam's life. She had her children who, while adorable, drove her crazy. Daniel knew she still loved Jack and married him because she was overwhelmed by being alone, not because she loved him romantically. Every once in awhile, it was clear that she was comparing him unfavorably to Jack, although she never said anything. Finally, other than catching up on journal articles on her computer, she had nothing more intellectually stimulating to do than reading to toddlers.
Usually, they sent Johnny back for the monthly visits that the custody agreement gave Jack. One month, Jack came to them. Daniel was supposed to be the one to actually meet Jack with Johnny and get them set up in a temporary camp but there was miscommunication and Daniel wasn't around when Jack showed up. Sam had only seen Jack once since the divorce since Daniel had been willing to handle the visitation transfers. Johnny ran enthusiastically to his father who picked him up and tossed him in the air before hugging him. Two year old Jake clung to his mother's hand and stared owl eyed at this stranger. That was when Daniel caught sight of them all just as he started to come around a tent behind Jack. Something made him hang back and watch.
"Hi, Sam," Jack said, with no more emotion than if he had been greeting his next door neighbor.
"Jack," Sam returned, sounding husky. She leaned forward slightly toward him and Daniel imagined her wondering why she had ever left Jack as he stood there, still strong and vigorous and oh so handsome with their son in his arms.
She was just staring at Jack, looking lost, and then Jake pulled on her hand. "Mommy, I want Daddy." For just the briefest of moment, Daniel saw something in her eyes but then she looked down into Jake's anxious little face, already starting to look like a miniature of Daniel, and he saw the love well up for the little boy.
"Where's Daniel?" Jack asked, hoisting Johnny up on his shoulders.
"He's still out at the dig. We didn't think you were coming until tomorrow. I sent someone for him." After she delivered her explanation, she stood waiting for Jack to say or do something. Daniel was afraid to speculate what. Jack merely shrugged and said to Johnny, "So let's go check out our tent," and waved good bye to Sam.
Sam was extremely moody for weeks after Jack's visit and although Daniel never said anything, he knew what was behind it. She knew that he knew and he knew that she knew that he knew. It was extremely awkward and he spent less and less time with her. If he was in the camp, he was with the boys. He came to bed after she was asleep and never touched her sexually despite the fact that that was the one part of their lives she had always seemed completely with him. He felt like it was up her to mend things and she kept putting it off.
One night, he came to bed late. He was sure she was feigning sleep, but he considerately undressed silently, lifted the blanket and slid in next to her as if she was really sleeping. He immediately turned away from her and she shocked him when she fitted herself to his back and ran her hand over his side and up his chest. "Daniel," she said softly, "I love you."
"You don't, Sam," Daniel answered so low she could barely make him out, "God forgive me that I don't have enough self-respect to care." He turned and he made love to her then, slowly and masterfully. After it was over, he fell asleep holding her in his arms.
Suddenly, there was a high-pitched keening coming from outside the camp. Daniel woke up immediately and laid fingers on Sam's lips. He whispered barely audibly in her ear, "Get the boys and be ready to get to the gate. NOW."
Sam put Jake in a carrier on her front and tied Johnny to her back. Daniel gave her the only gun in the tent and, knowing that she had the little boys, she didn't argue. Afterwards, she couldn't tell him clearly how she got the boys to the gate through the onslaught of horrific reptilian bipeds that were barely sentient. She had a gun and they only had their fangs and their claws, but there were seemly endless waves of the creatures and she was trying to shoot and carry two boys. There is a world of difference between being in battle as a soldier and being in battle as a mother.
Sam and her sons waited in the gateroom for what she later described in her autobiography as the longest 40 minutes of her life. Daniel came through supporting a wounded soldier with the last people off the planet alive. He had a long gash on his leg that was oozing blood and smaller wounds all over. As he lurched toward them, Jake tore loose from his mother and ran to him. "Daddy, daddy, it was scary, daddy," he said holding on to his father's unwounded leg.
Sam looked at Daniel and said, "Never again, Daniel."
At first the return to life among the Tauri wasn't bad. They weren't the current center of tabloid attention, even with respect to the gate. Recent exploits of a young SG team had captured the public attention. All that changed when the records were declassified that told the story of Daniel Ascending. The world immediately divided, it seemed, into two camps: those who wanted to treat Daniel as a former angel and those who thought he had to be satanic. Daniel literally couldn't leave the house without being assaulted by devotees who wanted to touch him or get a scrap of his clothing, and those who wanted to spit on him. Daniel begged Sam to leave Earth with him but she refused to take the boys off world again. When Sam found out she was pregnant, there was little rejoicing because it sparked a continuous round of fights over how they were going to live their lives and raise their children.
In her fourth month, they left the boys with the wife of a SG sergeant to go to the obstetrician. Daniel drove like a maniac to get away from those lurking outside the gates and thought he had lost them. They parked and were walking from the parking lot when a car screeched to a halt a few feet away from them. Three teens leapt out and rushed toward them. One pushed Sam out of the way and she fell hard against a railing. Eighteen hours later she lost the baby, the only girl she ever conceived.
Daniel went wild. He went after several reporters outside the hospital and knocked one down. It was only the knowledge of the way public sympathy was running that kept him from being sued.
When they came back from the hospital, tension escalated. They had shouting arguments for the first time and the little boys, already seeing a counselor to help them through their last night on the embattled planet, became more fearful and were particularly upset at Daniel being out of their sight.
Their last night together started out with the same stale argument. "We can't stay here. They will never leave us alone," Daniel pleaded.
"There is danger everywhere but at least we have law and order here and not a single scaly monster," Sam responded, more or less as she had done over and over again.
This time Daniel didn't back down. "People are camped out, as close to our house as they can get. People in wheelchairs. Blind people. People with horrible scars. They just want to touch me. I'm not a god. I'm not even close and I'm getting in the way of these people looking for help where it really is available, of them finding the true God."
She turned her back on him and he left the room. Daniel walked slowly down the hall and into the boy's room. There enough rooms in their house for each child to have his own but since they had returned, the boys seemed to have an easier time of it together than alone in the dark. He sat on each of their beds for an hour or more, ran his hand gently over their silky hair, and softly kissed their downy cheeks and then he walked out of the house for the last time.
Daniel avoided looking deep enough in himself to know what he expected to happen or even what he hoped for. He just knew that to survive he had to leave Earth. He had been approached about an extended mission to P4X999, called Lisseth by its people, the day before. After the first mission, the native leaders steadfastly refused to allow SG teams to leave the vicinity of the gate. The first SG mission had, through an extremely unlikely set of accidents, found the hidden ruins of an Ancient city, rich in artifacts. Someone was desperately needed to make headway with the native leaders and win permission to allow them to study the city. Daniel now gratefully accepted the challenge.
When Sam despaired of persuading him to return, she filed for divorce. The summons for the divorce action was the first Tauri legal paper ever delivered through a gate. The process server appeared on talk shows for 6 months afterwards. Rather than feed the media circus that would have followed, Daniel did not contest. He was devastated when he discovered that this meant that he had no right to see Johnny, only Jake.
He hadn't seen Jake for four months when he returned for the first visitation. Jake turned his face against his mother when Daniel reached out to take his hand.
Daniel squatted down to Jake's level and said gently, "Jake, it's me, your dad."
Sam, to give her credit, did try to help. "Jake, you remember your daddy. He's going to take you to the zoo. Won't that be fun?"
The child peered cautiously at the bearded man. Daniel suddenly realized what part of the problem was. "This is a beard," he explained. "Do you want to touch it."
The little boy bravely touched his father's face and then snatched his hand back. "Daddy's face is like a doggie," he said solemnly.
Daniel smiled. "Daddy's in the doghouse. It makes sense," he said more for Sam's ears than Jake's.
Jake came closer, the active curiosity programmed into his genes taking over. He stroked his father's face and pronounced, "I like it. I go to the zoo."
Daniel picked him up and stood, looking at Sam who was fighting tears. He carried Jake to the car and strapped him into the car seat in the back. Sam had turned to leave but he walked quickly back to her. "Please Sam," he asked in such a low voice she could barely hear him, "don't keep Johnny from me."
Sam answered, her voice breaking but her resolve firm. "If you are not going to be here, then Johnny is best off forgetting you. I wish I could do the same for Jake."
"I think you mean you would like to forget me," Daniel said bitterly. "I'm in your bones and someday you'll realize it." Then he grabbed her and kissed her breathless and left. All future transfers were handled by others on Sam's behalf and he didn't see her in person again for more than 18 years.
He contacted Jack and arranged to see Johnny when Johnny visited Jack. Since Sam had no idea that Jack and Daniel had remained close, she thought Jack allowed this out of spite. Her lawyer advised her that she had little grounds for trying to prohibit Daniel from seeing Johnny when Johnny was with his father but she took it to the judge anyway. The failure to get support from the court added one more brick to the wall she was building against her ex-husbands. Daniel could see how Sam was wandering farther and farther away from herself. The way she was handling custody along with dozens of other uncharacteristic actions seemed like a cry for help but he knew it couldn't come from him.
At the end of a year on Lisseth, the lack of progress was enormously frustrating. Daniel would be so close to an agreement he could taste it and then yet another political undercurrent within the tribes, whose name in their language for themselves was the Blue People, would undo it. The locals insisted that all other SG personnel spend no more than a month on the planet but they had made an exception for Daniel. Initially, it was because he had saved a boy from a wild animal. Then he had gone with them, at their request, to negotiate with the Green People and settled the dispute without blood shed. Years later he learned that he had inadvertently, time after time, fulfilled parts of an ancient prophecy and the Blue People began to regard him as a messenger of the gods. Unlike the reaction to his ascension on Earth, this only led to quiet awe and never to unwelcome celebrity. Three times they had taken him, and only him, to the hidden Ancient site and allowed him to work for several hours. That had been so rich in information that it was worth it to the Stargate Program for him to keep trying.
Personally, Daniel was almost as interested in the unique culture that had evolved on Lisseth, one bore no close resemblance to any one Tauri people past or present. On planets where the Goa'uld had maintained a presence, cultures had remained very close to their status when imported from Earth. On Lisseth, the people had come from three different disparate groups and the Goa'uld, for whatever reason, had left hundreds of years before. Lisseth may have felt like Abydos at first, one reason for Daniel's determination to make something work out, but its people were completely different.
One evening, he left the SG camp immediately next to the Stargate and, accompanied by two young men in long, hooded, brightly striped robes, hiked two miles over the sand to the oasis where the nearest Blue People camp was located. They ushered him into Jikso's tent and left silently. The uberheadman of all the Blue People's headmen was a powerfully built, middle-aged man with his long graying hair in thin braids caught together at the nape of his neck with a strip of leather. He was sitting on a pile of red cushions and gestured toward a similar cluster of pillows next to him. Daniel knew that they might sit in silence for as long as an hour but, no matter how long it took, he had to wait, without speaking for Jikso to initiate the conversation. In the meantime, he was free to pour himself a drink from the brass pitcher on the low table in front of them and to eat from the tray heaped with sweets.
"You have come to understand us Dr. Jackson and live beside us without offense unlike the others of your people," Jikso said at last.
Daniel dipped his head in appreciation of the compliment. Jikso continued, "I believe that although you observe our customs, you do not believe in the reasons behind them as we do. Is this true?"
Daniel wasn't sure how to answer this without giving offense but in the end opted for the truth. He spoke for the first time saying, "I see the reasons for some of them but, yes, there are others that I observe only out of respect for you."
Jikso nodded and Daniel saw that he had pleased him with his answer. "You know that among us blindness is regarded as a sign of displeasure from the gods? Is this a belief that you share?"
Daniel sighed and said quietly, "No, I do not. I believe that the blind deserve to be evaluated by the same scale as everyone else."
Jikso lapsed into silence again for several minutes. Then he leaned toward Daniel and said slowly, "My dearest friend since I was a boy died five years ago, saving my life. He had a daughter, Iona, whom he loved very much. Iona has, in turn, a daughter, Seline, who is but 5. Iona's husband was killed by the Greens and she was struck in the head and blinded. Things are very difficult for her and her daughter. I can offer a dowry but no man will marry a blind woman."
Jikso got to the heart of his pitch then. "If you will marry Iona and live among us as one of the Blue People, you may study the ruins to your heart's content and you may bring small numbers of Tauri there as long as you supervise them and remain responsible for them. If you do not marry her, then you must all leave and we will bury the gate. We have already contravened our faith and our laws allowing you to remain as long as we have."
Daniel was stunned. The logical first place to investigate was Iona. "How does Iona feel about this?" he asked.
"She is willing but you will want to hear this for yourself." He called out for one of Daniel's escorts and the young man immediately stepped into the tent. Jikso instructed him to bring Iona and less than a minute later, a woman in her early thirties followed him into the tent, led by a little girl. It was enough to make a man believe in a cosmic sense of humor. The woman looked like Sha're's sister except that her hair, hanging in a fat braid down her back, was straight, and shiny. The little girl, Seline, echoed her mother's looks. She brought her mother to the men and Iona sat gracefully next to Daniel. The little girl crawled into her mother's lap to look at Daniel solemnly.
"Hello," Daniel said softly.
Iona immediately turned toward his voice and Daniel felt as if she was looking right at him even though he knew better. "Hello," she responded in kind and her voice was husky and unconsciously seductive. It reached some place deep in Daniel and something stirred.
"Jikso has suggested that we consider marriage to each other. What do you think about this?" Daniel asked, slightly uncomfortable that they were having this conversation in front of her daughter but there seemed to be no help for it.
"I loved my husband very much and I do not know that I will ever love another. You also had a wife that you lost." Daniel realized that the Blues were far more observant of what was going on in the SG camp than the Tauri suspected. "I do not expect that you would love me and would hope that you would not expect me to fall in love with you. Yet, it is not good to be alone and it will be hard for you to be one of us unless you have a wife. I believe that if we respect each other's privacy, we can have a good life."
Daniel nodded and looked at the little girl. "What of you, Seline? Would it be all right with you if I married your mother?" Iona and Jikso were clearly shocked that he would consult a child but the little girl beamed at him, very proud that he spoke to her like an adult.
Seline scrambled from her mother's lap, stood, and walked to Daniel. She looked at him very closely and then nodded decisively. "I would be all right," she announced and returned to her mother.
Daniel deliberated for only a short time and then said, "I would like to take a few days to get to know Iona better. We can make a final decision together at the end of a week if this is all right with Iona and you, Jikso."
As a result, within two weeks, he had moved from the SG camp to the Blue's camp, into a tent that was part of Iona's dowry. Daniel told SG command nothing about his marriage, only that he had reached an agreement with the Blues and the terms of that agreement as it applied to SG personnel. Daniel began to wear the striped robes of the Blue men and quit cutting his hair. He shaved off the beard at Iona's request. She explained to him that it signified a preference for other men. It had confused the Blues about Daniel and had caused the delay of their offer to him by several months until they had figured out that its meaning was not the same with the Tauri.
He was well aware that the SG personnel thought him extremely eccentric for going native and that many of them ridiculed him behind his back. As he settled into the rhythm of the Blues and his work in the ruins began in earnest, he found that this lack of acceptance from the Tauri was a matter of complete indifference to him. When he went back to Earth to see Jake, to report to command or attend a meeting, he changed to Tauri clothes but they felt increasingly strange and uncomfortable. In his head, he was becoming someone else, Danil, as the Blues pronounced his name. When he no longer had visits with Jake or Johnny, he quit going back to Earth at all if he could help it. He continued to produce the results Cheyenne Mountain wanted and they didn't pressure him. Occasionally he traveled through the gate to other SG sites for short consultations, remaining in his accustomed Lisseth clothing. As he sat, remembering, holding little Danny, it had been three years since he had been to Earth.
Daniel and Iona spent the first year in a sort of slow mating dance, coming closer to each other through small gestures and daily rituals, and then one or the other pulling back a little ways when something became uncomfortable. They slept in the same bed because to do otherwise would be to say to the tribesmen that they were estranged, but at first they slept without touching. Over the nights the distance between them decreased and they began sleep touching each other, sharing their warmth. Daniel gradually began to act more and more like Seline's father until one day Seline, unconscious that she had even done it, called him Dei, the word for Daddy.
The Blues did not celebrate anniversaries but Daniel kept track of when the wedding had been and when the end of the first year approached, Daniel decided to do something about it. He paid for a set of wedding rings from Earth and a diamond solitaire, making up a fiction about why he needed them that apparently was convincing enough that it wasn't deemed newsworthy. On the night of their anniversary, he walked to the edge of camp with Iona in the thick darkness that put them on equal footing.
"On my planet we have a custom that is important to me," he said. "I don't believe it is against your customs, only different."
"And you wish that we should follow this custom, Danil?" she asked.
"If you wish to after I explain it, I would be honored," Daniel responded. He pressed the solitaire in her hand first.
She investigated the ring with her clever fingers. "This is a ring but it is small," she told him.
"This is because we do not only wear them on the thumb and index finger. This is worn on the heart finger."
"It has special meaning, more than adornment?" Iona asked, continuing to trace over the smooth metal and the square cut stone.
"It is an engagement ring. A man gives it to a woman when he asks her to marry him and she wears it always, even after they marry," he said drawing her close with one arm.
"I will wear it with pride," she answered him with strong emotion just under the surface of her calm voice.
"There is more," he continued after gently kissing her hair. He pressed the wedding band in her hand.
"Another ring for the same finger?" she asked.
"Yes. This one is a wedding ring. I would put it on your finger in the marriage ceremony. And you would put one just like it on my finger. It says to everyone that we belong to each other." Daniel drew her hands to him now and put them on either side of his left hand to feel his ring already in place.
"I will wear this ring too, my Danil," she said definitely on the edge of tears now.
"Iona will you be my wife?" he asked and at her assent, he continued, "With this ring, I thee wed." He slipped first the wedding ring and then the engagement ring on her finger.
Daniel was a little worried at how the other women would react to Iona's rings. He remained concerned until he learned that it had raised her status, redeemed from the curse of blindness in part by being his wife, even higher.
A few evenings later, he went to bed to find a crunchy sweet on his pillow. If this was a custom, he didn't know what it meant but it looked delicious and he ate it. Iona appeared immediately, exuding a subtle perfume he hadn't noticed before, her long hair freed of braids and hanging down to her waist. She slipped off her robe and he saw her beautiful body gleaming palely in the dim light in the tent. She laid down next to him and twined her arms around his neck. "I heard you chewing my candy," she whispered and she kissed him. And so, that night, so many years ago, Daniel learned of the custom of leaving a candy to signal an interest in love making.
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As Daniel held Danny now and looked over at his children, among whom he counted Seline with all his heart, he was grateful for the bittersweet pain of seeing Iona's face reflected in Seline's and Trina's. Chiona looked less like Iona than the other two but her voice was exactly like her mother's. Daniel had had 12 years with Iona, 11 of them as truly man and wife, and she had borne him four children that were still his. It was much more than either Sha're or Sam had ever given him.
Danny stirred and he kicked out his misshapen little foot. Daniel thought about the Blue's superstitions that put the baby's clubfoot in the same category as Iona's blindness. There was no way to correct it on Lisseth and the boy could only expect a difficult life as almost an outcast. He thought about Seline, Chiona, and especially Trina. He had delighted in their quick minds and had taught them everything they had time to learn. In doing so, he had made it hard for any of them to find someone to marry. There had been a young man whom Daniel had befriended in boyhood and who had also been a student of his. This young man had married Seline and died, just like Iona's first husband, at the hands of the Greens. Daniel doubted that there would be another young man for Seline. Jack had a right to ask for his help and, in any case, it was time to take his family to Earth long enough for surgery on Danny's foot and perhaps to find a better life for his daughters. Jak and Tealk had the best shot at a normal life on Lisseth but Daniel would not leave them behind. Daniel refused to consider the possibility that he might not return but he wanted all those he loved where he could see them and know they were safe.
The decision was a relatively quick one but the implementation was painfully slow. He had to work it through politically with the Blues. He had to get his children reasonably ready for the experience. He had to tell Stargate Command about his children and grandchild and arrange identification and legal status for them on Earth. Finally, almost three months after Jack's request, the seven of them stood ready to go through the gate.
Now that the Gate effect's anti-aging properties were known, the pressure from the rich and the powerful wanting to make trips through the gate was huge despite the fact that the Gate effect appeared to only kick in after dozens of trips. When the president made two trips through on some flimsy diplomatic pretext several years before, a whistle blower had leaked the information and she had come in for some deservedly bad press. Legislation had required the set up of a "Gate cam" that monitored people coming through the gate for all the world to see although the gate address wasn't displayed. Only when a military alert was present did the law permit the feed to be interrupted.
In response to the Gate cam, they all had the hoods of their robes pulled down over their faces and wore scarves wound around their necks beneath the hoods, partially covering their faces. Daniel wanted to keep their faces as unknown as possible, as long as possible. The SG team currently on world stood with them, loaded with gear and smoldering with resentment. The military personnel showed little emotion but the two civilian scientists weren't even trying conceal their irritation. They didn't believe that Daniel had tried at all to dissuade the headmen from the decision that all Tauri personnel had to leave until Daniel returned. In truth, Daniel hadn't tried very hard. He no longer thought of himself as Tauri and his distrust of Tauri motives and honor was almost as deep as the rest of the Blue People.
The baby was securely wrapped in a shawl across his mother's chest but she held one arm around him just to be sure and clung to Jak with the other. Chiona had Jak's other hand. Daniel held Tealk in one arm, Tealk's two small arms locked around Daniel's neck and his legs around his waist, and Trina had his other hand. The SG commander finished dialing up Earth and his personnel filed through first. Then Daniel looked at each of his family in turn and said, "Are you all ready?" thinking to himself, "There is no way anyone can ever get ready for being famous."

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Meriem Clayton

Life in the Fast Lane: Sam

Life in the Fast Lane: Sam

by Meriem Clayton

Summary: When the Stargate becomes public, being famous almost destroys Jack, Sam, and Daniel.
Category: Drama, Romance
Season: Future Season
Pairing: Daniel/Sam, Jack/Sam, Sam/Teal'c, Sam/other
Rating: MA
Warnings: adult themes, minor language, sexual situations
Author's Notes: One of the worst parts of being famous in today's world is the constant scrutiny of every detail of your private life by the world at large. This is a major theme of this series of stories. I applaud the responsible reporters who are motivated by a desire to give the public the information it needs to make informed decisions and who avoid intrusive reporting on private lives. I do not intend to include ethical journalists in my portrayal of the damage done by the bottom feeding segment of the media that is less concerned about truth or impact on the subjects of stories than in how many readers/viewers a story will attract.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/23/05

So many lies and half truths had been told about Samantha Carter O'Neill Jackson Smith se Teal'c over the years that she had stopped reading anything people said about her or her family. She no longer gave interviews and immediately quit watching if someone else being interviewed started talking about her. After the Stargate became public knowledge, fate picked her to become Cheyenne Mountain's premier celebrity, the Stargate's own combination Jackie-O and Princess Di. The tabloids had feasted for years on her marriages and divorces. Watching her scarcely age because of what was now called the "Gate effect" was a national pastime that made as many people hate her as love her. In recent years the focus had shifted to the exploits of her sons, Johnny O'Neill, Jake Jackson, and Jonas Smith, nicknamed the Golden Brothers because of their blonde hair and the absence of a common last name to describe them.
Given her history of distress with the public's lack of understanding of her and hers, she was a little surprised at herself that she had agreed to her husband's suggestion that they should watch "Live in Your Face." Jake's girl friend had called them on the sly and told them he would be appearing. It had hurt terribly to have Johnny and Jake storm out angrily four months before when Teal'c had patiently made it clear to them that they had to treat her with more respect. Only Jonas, her son by her third, mercifully brief, marriage, still was at peace with his stepfather. But Jonas had been 14 when she married Teal'c, years younger than his half-brothers. He had wanted a dad who was around more than the famous movie star father he saw very infrequently. Her other sons felt like they had more fathers than they needed already. Watching them on television was the only option she had at the moment to see how they were doing.
Sam nestled against Teal'c's solid bulk as he made sure an interview with the coach of his beloved Vols was being recorded properly. Satisfied, he changed the channel showing on the flat panel display covering half of the wall that faced their Malibu home's spectacular view of the Pacific. The consummately obnoxious Kyle Martin, host of "Live in Your Face," filled the screen. People detested the man but somehow that seemed to improve ratings. "Tonight we have a very special guest or guests from `We Die Free,' the band that has single-handedly restored the popularity of guitar driven hard rock n roll." There was wild cheering in the studio audience.
Sam murmured, "They're mad at you but their band is `We Die Free.'"
Teal'c said quietly, "They named the band years before when I was still their favorite honorary uncle. Now, they have no choice and it must anger them greatly a hundred times a day."
Sam started to argue but he put a finger to her lips and pointed at the screen.
Martin continued, "There are five members of the band and I'm going to keep you guessing as to who's here tonight while we take a look at the video for their latest Pilgrim Records release, `No to Love.'"
Martin faded out and the video began with a tight shot on a young man with long blonde hair and a small goatee playing a mournful guitar riff. Sam gripped Teal's hand tighter as she recognized Johnny, the band's lead guitarist. The video unfolded telling a story about a man, portrayed by Jake, and a woman, played by Jake's young actress girl friend, and their passionate and ultimately tragic love. The camera cut in tight on Johnny while he played an exquisitely masterful solo, his eyes shut, totally lost in his music. The song was truly memorable. The Golden Brothers may have used their parents' names and notoriety to get noticed but the raw talent between the three of them made their fame completely deserved. When the video ended, the audience again cheered wildly and Martin looked faintly annoyed at how long it took to quiet them enough so he could introduce his guests. Finally, he said, with a dramatic gesture, "And here they are."
Sam was thrilled to see not only the two sons in the band, but Jonas as well, walk out. So was the audience. Each of the three had a faction chanting his name. The camera panned the audience. If she read lips correctly, Jonas was the name on the younger people's lips while the late teens and adults were divided between the older boys and included men as well as women. Jake and Jonas played to the audience while Johnny smiled slightly and kept his face partially obscured behind all that hair. Jake even went out into the crowd and kissed a couple of women.
When they were all seated, Martin said, "All this blond hair and not a bottle of peroxide in sight. Beauticians of America eat your heart out." Jonas and Jake laughed and Jake threw in a wink while Johnny continued to keep his own counsel. "I'm sure I don't have to introduce Jake Jackson and Johnny O'Neill of "We Die Free" and their kid brother, Jonas Smith, start of the top rated WB television series, `Rascals.'" More wild cheering made it hard for him to go on. This was definitely wearing on Martin. "So tell me, so much fame so young. Are you afraid it will end badly?"
Johnny didn't look up and Jonas looked at Jake. "Do you mean are we likely to get all drugged out, aspirate our own vomit, and die?" he asked pleasantly. Without waiting for anything from Martin, he answered his own question, "I might. Outside odds on Jonas but not Johnny." He looked fondly at his older half-brother. "He's the most grounded of the three of us." Sam murmured to Teal'c, "Or maybe the one with his feelings the farthest underground." Teal'c patted her hand.
Jonas spoke up then, "Hey, man, speak for yourself. If I have to die tragically young, it won't be something so yucky as choking on my own vomit."
Johnny laughed but still didn't say anything. Martin asked, "You're brothers but other the blonde hair, you don't seem anything alike. How do you explain that?"
Jonas said, "Hello. Different fathers you know."
Jake punched his brother in the arm and said, "That doesn't completely get it for Johnny and me." He turned back towards Martin and said, "Mainly for the two of us, it's trying to be anything BUT like our fathers."
Martin now zeroed in on Johnny, evidently deciding it was time to make him talk. "So Johnny, you're the oldest. How come you let Jake usurp your leadership position?"
The camera wasn't on Jake at that point but Sam knew exactly how that comment would have hit him. Jake worshipped his older brother and no one ever took pot shots at Johnny around him. And in any case, Sam knew the statement was blatantly untrue. Jake was the public spokesman because Johnny didn't want to be. At times, Sam had wished there was some way to get Jake away from Johnny so he could have a chance to really think for himself and make his own decisions. She had high hopes for the tentative moves Jake was making into acting, a place Johnny didn't want to follow. Her attention wandered from the show as she fretted that there was still time for Johnny to quash the acting initiative, as he had done with other efforts at independence in the past.
Jake's reply drew her attention back to the TV. "Kyle, I do believe you are confusing form with substance here," Jake said. Then, as if realizing that the slightly literary tone of the answer was at odds with his carefully cultivated image of being loveable but not too bright, he added, "I'm loud enough for both of us. He can, like, save his energy for the songs he writes."
Martin decided to pursue a different avenue, "What's it like having an alien for a stepdad?"
This was designed to put the two older boys in an awkward place. It was no secret that they were estranged from Teal'c but they refused to talk about it with the press and were very loyal to their mother even though they weren't talking to her either at the moment. Again his brothers deferred to Jake who said, "Is he an alien? I didn't notice. How can you tell?"
Jake then decided to take control of a deteriorating situation. "Actually, Kyle, the only reason we agreed to come on the show, other than because we love our loyal fans and we always like to see them," he punctuated his words with a big grin at the studio audience who responded with screaming, "Was that you agreed to let us shamelessly plug our new projects." He stood up and approached the edge of the stage, "What do you say guys? You want to hear what's going on?"
More wild cheering. Sam wondered if her boys could possibly not have had huge hearing loss from going through life with all this yelling. Her fame had been slightly different than that, generally more dignified with smaller crowds. "Okay!" Jake shouted enthusiastically and jumped up in the air.
When he sat down, Kyle said with very bad grace, "I had heard that the only thing bigger than your ego was the line of women who've been through your bedroom door but I'm definitely going with the ego. So, go ahead and fill us in." Sam bit her lip when Jake just let the bedroom comment go by. He was perfectly happy to allow his unfounded image as a sex-crazed rocker continue to grow. It seemed to be the in-thing at the moment for every aspiring actress and model, to whom he as much said hello, to claim they had slept with him.
Jake nodded at Jonas who said, "Jake and I are both in a movie that's set to start shooting next month, `The Troubles.' It's about the 20s in Ireland. Jake and I both have strong supporting roles." He hesitated for a moment and Sam knew he was thinking that if he didn't bring up his father's part in this, Kyle would. "My dad was in it originally. It's a smaller part than he usually does but he really wanted to work with that director and me. He had to pull out but the producer asked me to stay with the project and decided to change the use of the character with a younger actor. Jake's doing my dad's role." Sam knew that it had cut Jonas deeply to find out that he wouldn't be able to share the shooting experience with his dad. But he still had Jake. Before Teal'c, Jake and Johnny had functioned as Jonas' father most of the time.
Jake now continued. "Johnny has a solo project, classical guitar music, that's going to be released next month, `Gringo Ballads.' Johnny's the one with the real musical talent. I'm just passing through."
Kyle nodded, looked at the camera and said, with a certain amount of relief, "We're out of time. So thanks to my guests," he added with a lot of sarcasm, "the Golden Boys as well as Huff n'Puff and Bankok Hilton who were with us earlier in the program. Remember; take care of yourself because no one else will."
Teal'c clicked off the television then and looked down at Sam who had tears glistening in her eyes. "Jake and Johnny will come around, Samantha."
She patted his knee, tilted her head back, and kissed him. "Even if they don't, I would never give you up. You and Jonas are the constants in my life, the only ones who have never left me."
Sam watched the "Live in Your Face" appearance way too many times. She would swear to herself that she'd seen it enough and then get up the middle of the night to watch it again. Teal'c hadn't said anything but that was how he tended to deal with things he didn't approve of but wasn't ready to confront her on. He pretended he didn't know about them.
Jonas had been with his brothers and, briefly, with his father, the first time he had visited Brad in two years. It was true that since he had become a hot acting property, he did run into Brad occasionally at A-list events. Tonight he was back home, asleep upstairs, and she was much more at peace. Still she had awakened, in the pitch black, and here she was in front of the screen, huddled in a ratty afghan that had been a wedding present from an elderly aunt, long dead, for a marriage equally long dead.
She heard some footsteps in the hallway, a thud and a muffled curse. Moments later, Jonas made his appearance, rubbing his shin. "Mom, what are you doing?" he asked, still trying to wake up. He sat down next to her and recognized then what she was watching. "Mom, I talked to them about how this stupid this was. Them not talking to you and Teal'c. I think they want to make it up and they're too embarrassed to make the first move." He picked up a couch cushion and started picking at the fringe. "Well, I've done something that I hope won't make you too mad. I was going to tell you about it in the morning."
Sam was completely puzzled. "What, honey?"
"I called last night and told Johnny and Jake that you asked me to ask them to come over for dinner Saturday. I said that you were sorry that things had gotten so out of hand." He looked at her from under his long hair. "I know it was a lie but someone had to do something."
"Maybe it will work, Jonas. You have so much caring in you. In many ways, you are the emotional center of this family, whether you realize it or not."
Jonas looked unhappy. "Mom, you shouldn't say stuff like that. Jake and Johnny think I'm the favorite and it makes problems sometimes."
Sam felt like he'd slapped her but realized she was overreacting. She managed to say, lightly, "You're the baby, that's all. So, how was the visit with Brad?"
Jonas was really giving the pillow fringe a workout. "That's something else I want to talk with you about. You've never criticized my dad. I found out from Johnny a couple of years ago about why you divorced him, what he saw, but you never said anything. Was there anything else that happened that you're protecting me against?" A piece of fringe came out in his hand and Sam took the pillow and the fringe from him gently.
"Like what, Jonas?" She wondered if Jonas could have guessed that Brad hit her, more than once.
"Well, was there any, like um, abuse?" He wasn't looking at her now and her heart sank.
"Jonas, why this question? Did something happen to you at your dad's? Did he hurt you?" She put her hand under his chin and raised his face to look into hers.
"He didn't do anything to me, Mom," Jonas immediately reassured her. "It's just he left his computer on, mine wasn't handy, and I wanted to quick check something on the net. I wish to God I hadn't gotten curious and checked to see what sites he had bookmarked in his browser. There's some pretty disturbing stuff on the net, even with the recent legislation."
"No, Jonas, there wasn't any abuse," Sam said, believing, feeling almost completely sure, that all she was lying about was the few blows she had taken.
"I love you so much," She added and stretched out her hand and drew him to her side. There was no one around to see her hug him and cuddle him against her like a baby and so he let her get away with it. Sam felt her nearly grown son's body in her arms and could not regret the suffering his father had caused her when it had given her this precious boy.
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Shortly after the divorce from Daniel, Sam had been approached about acting as the technical adviser for a file with the working title, "Gate." She needed the money and was tired of all the aggravations of fame without any of the perks so she said yes. The other part of the story was that she needed something to take her mind off what she had lost. In the night, lying alone, staring at the ceiling for hours because she hardly slept anymore, she couldn't get Daniel out of her mind. She went over every memory she had of him, starting with her first meeting with him on Abydos. The last time she had seen him, he warned her that it would be harder for her to get over him than she thought. One morning with the first streaks of dawn coming in the window, she finally admitted to herself that she loved him body and soul, not just as a friend. He was in her system all right and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
When she wasn't thinking about Daniel, she would find herself remembering Jack. She'd think about lying in his arms watching the sun rise and how he kept her laughing with his dry, deadpan wit. He had to be one of the sexiest men she had ever met. He had remarried Sara and it made her really mad that he was happy. "At least Daniel had the good grace," she thought, "to be somewhere just as alone and unhappy as I am." It made her even angrier with herself that she begrudged Jack and Daniel happiness.
She couldn't seem to stop herself from being petty over details of visitation with Jack and Daniel. Thinking about it now, her cheek resting on Jonas' heavy mane of hair, she beat herself up for the way, over the years, the older boys had come down to thinking they had to make a choice between parents. Their fathers weren't there. It looked to them like Jack and Daniel hadn't done a thing to prevent the misery that Brad Smith had caused or on all the other occasions when things had gone wrong. It was uncomfortable blaming their mother, with whom they lived, so they built a case against their fathers. Jonas never had his father as a choice which made it both harder and easier for him.
Sometimes back then, she had felt like someone else was in control of her body. If it hadn't been for her sons, she might have quit fighting it and just let it take her.
The movie that promised her some distraction and cash flow was just part of the great merchandising of the Stargate that America's first woman president had launched shortly after election. Male chauvinists joked that we needed a woman in office to get our first national garage sale. It didn't really take much of a sales push to sell Stargate merchandise. The public was fascinated. Jack and Daniel had immediately become the boys' names of choice and variations of Teal'c, usually without the apostrophe began to appear. Samantha dominated for girls, so much so that Sam became permanently identified as a girl's name. Nicknaming your son Sam was almost akin to the situation Johnny Cash sang about in "A Boy Named Sue."
The first five action figures were for Sam, Daniel, Jack, Teal'c, and George Hammond. None of the subjects authorized themselves being immortalized in plastic but government lawyers said that Jack, Sam, and General Hammond gave up this right when they became soldiers and that there was a clause in Daniel and Teal'c's contracts that left them without grounds for objection. Daniel would have sued if he hadn't sequestered himself on Lisseth by then. The others didn't want to make an issue of it. The Teal'c figure had a little pouch in its stomach with a miniature Goa'uld and carried a staff weapon. The Daniel figure was distinguished by glasses and a tiny book in his backpack. Sam was taken aback by how voluptuous her doll was, exceeding her own proportions noticeably. It was just one of the ways that it would be apparent during her marriage to Brad Smith that they were not communicating. His take on the doll was to be that it would be a really good idea if she got breast implants so that she did look like her statue.
The movie with which she was to assist would largely be shot in Tunisia but Sam was invited to Burbank to participate in preproduction discussions and to review the script. The producer was helpful about providing a nanny for the boys that he was able to persuade Sam could be trusted. Sam discovered immediately that they didn't so much want the movie to be the truth, as to capture the "essence of the truth." She dutifully brought up inaccuracies and most of them were politely received and immediately disregarded.
The producer decided she needed a little loosening up and sent her to some parties stuffed with beautiful men and women, even better looking food, and alcohol flowing like a river. Sam had never given too much thought to her appearance but, given the attention she had received from men like Daniel and Jack, she had always been confident that she was reasonably good looking. In Hollywood, she lost her confidence in rooms with the best looking 1/1000th of a percent of all the women on the face of the earth, all perfectly made up, coifed and gowned. The women were often incredibly catty to each other but most of them were quite nice to her. She interpreted this as not being seen as a threat.
One night, she was more or less hiding in a corner, nursing a glass of white wine and yearning to be back with the SG team that was before fame destroyed it, sitting in Jack's living room, drinking Guinness and laughing, all in peace and charity with each other, and Jack presiding over them all, so damn magnificent. She was thinking so strongly of Daniel and Jack that when a man standing in front of her spoke to her and she looked up, for a moment she thought it WAS Daniel. He even had glasses, a strange sight in a room full of people who only knew contact lenses.
"I'm sorry if I startled you. Would you mind terribly if I joined you?" he asked, presupposing the answer and sitting on the loveseat next to her.
"Of course not," she said, still quite flustered. Taking a hold of herself, she knew immediately that this wasn't Daniel, the open throated silk shirt and the designer slacks shouted that fact without even moving on to all the differences in face and body.
"I'm," she started to introduce herself but he gestured a halt and took her hand in his beautifully manicured, long fingered one.
"You are Samantha Carter. How could I not know? Although I, quite frankly, didn't expect you to be so good looking in person. I thought they probably had used every trick of make up and the right clothes in the book to make you look so stunning. After all you are a Colonel. The real you is a wonderful surprise." He looked at her as if he had just conferred a great honor on her with his compliment.
Sam turned his warm gaze with a slightly befuddled look. To herself she was wondering, "Who is this guy? Is this is idea of a really smooth compliment?" Yet he did look more like Daniel than anyone she had ever met. Finally, she said, "I'm sorry but I'm not sure who you are."
For just a moment, so fleeting she wasn't sure she had seen it, there was ugliness there. Then he laughed, his laugh even reminding her of Daniel. "My ego is more out of control than I realized. I'm Brad Smith. I had a television series for about 6 years, "Hard Case," and since then I've done a few movies."
Sam was intensely grateful that she was able to dreg up a faint memory of the television series and his name did sound vaguely familiar. "I don't know what I was thinking. Naturally I remember you now. I really enjoyed your show." She didn't sound at all convincing but then she was a technical advisor, not an actress. She tried to climb out of the hole with, "I think it's the glasses that threw me off. Most actors don't wear them, do they?"
Brad laughed again and explained, "I've got some sort of an eye infection that means I can't wear my contacts for a few days." When things unraveled later, Sam learned that this was a complete lie. Brad knew well that he looked something like Daniel and was deliberately playing up the resemblance. He had done his research and was reasonably sure from reading between the lines in the few interviews she had granted that, while they might be divorced, Sam might still have feelings for her ex.
Brad stayed by her side for the rest of the evening. He was very charming and drew her out to talk about her children and science. At her very first party she had learned that these two topics, so dear to her heart, were generally not interesting to any of the other guests. It was so relaxing to talk with him about them. Several of his mannerisms reminded her of Daniel. After a couple more glasses of wine, she fell into a pleasant fantasy that he was Daniel.
When it all went sour, she realized that Brad Smith had needed Sam as an ally. Up to that point in his career he had been generally thought to succeed on his good looks and sexiness. His movies had not been top drawer and even those parts were getting scarcer as he got older. It was what Sam did for him that helped him to make the transition to recognition for his acting ability. It was considerable and he used it skillfully to make her think about Daniel when she looked at him.
What Brad Smith knew that night, but Sam didn't, was that the superstar actor currently cast as Daniel, was trying to withdraw from the movie. Brad Smith wanted the part and he wanted Sam to help him get it although he wasn't depending on her alone, or even primarily. Brad Smith was willing to do almost anything for anyone he thought would give him an edge.
Brad continued to pursue Sam and she found it too pleasant to resist. He wasn't Daniel or Jack, but he was there and they weren't. The boys were a harder sell. They didn't dislike him, at least not initially; they just didn't warm to him. He did a masterful job of controlling the ugly temper that she later discovered. At that stage in their relationship, she found herself admiring him for his patience and dogged determination when it was such an uphill struggle with Jake and Johnny.
The original Daniel did drop out and Sam was the deciding factor in the choice of Brad Smith to replace him. When asked for an opinion, she said artlessly, "He's so like Daniel, it won't even take much acting." The casting agent knew Brad from the Hollywood scene, knew that there was little or no probable resemblance but also realized that Brad had already given a powerful audition for the part to Sam if he could convince her to draw such a comparison.
Brad was grateful to Sam and, when Sam thought about it later, her novelty had caught his attention and he had fallen a little in love, to the extent that any intensely narcissistic person could. At the time, though, she believed him when he said he was truly, deeply in love with her. She didn't know what to do with this profession but she wasn't ready to end it.
Sam went to Tunisia with the crew. It was thrilling to be in this isolated place and feel a part of the movie, surrounded by actors she had admired for years. Brad would visit with her on breaks, wearing the SG uniform, and things blurred further for Sam between him and Daniel.
One night the boys were with the nanny and Brad took her for a drive. He borrowed one of the vans used by the production staff and they parked at the top of a hill with a spectacular view. He began kissing her and it felt really good. Then he progressed to touching and it still felt really good. She baulked when he pulled her into the back of the van but he kept kissing her and whispering the things she was starved to hear. Sam was later to mark this as the point when she hit rock bottom. She spent the next six months down there in the muck with Brad.
One morning he found her throwing up in her trailer. "That's the third time this week," he observed handing her a wet washcloth and leaning on the door jamb to watch her put herself back together. "You wouldn't have something you want to tell me?"
Sam studied her face in the mirror and his behind her. She really didn't want to turn and face him. "I don't expect anything from you. This is my problem."
"If this is a baby, it isn't a problem and it isn't just yours." Remembering this scene later, she was never sure whether it was his finest acting job or, if for just a moment, he rose to his better self.
He came forward and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her neck and whispered. "Marry me, Sam, just as soon as we can arrange it."
The ceremony was on that same hill. Brad was capable of the grand romantic gesture or, maybe more aptly, something that photographed extremely well as a grand romantic gesture. Most of the cast and crew attended and the boys were there, confused at first and eventually bored. The photos were front page across the world. Jack actually had the good grace to send her a note wishing her well and a beautiful piece of Inuit carving that caught up with her a couple of months later. As for Daniel, she doubted that he heard about it until Jake or Johnny told him the next time he saw them. She tried to pump them for what Daniel's reaction had been but the boys had adopted a need to know policy and she never seemed to qualify as needing to know when it came to what they had done with their fathers.
They returned to California and settled into Brad's place in Malibu. Sam was reasonably happy at first, the only initial problem being Johnny. He had never been talkative by nature. He had actually stopped talking altogether for several days after Daniel left her. She had a marvelous child counselor in Colorado and began looking for one in Malibu as Johnny seemed to withdraw into himself again. Jake was the only one he related to well and he didn't seem to want to let the younger boy out of his sight.
She added herself to the list to worry about after Jake interrupted Brad kissing her, preliminary to something more. Brad snarled at him with an expression that Sam had not seen before. She hustled the child out of the room and calmed him down. When she returned to discuss her concerns with Brad, he hit her. He was immediately contrite and she almost believed it hadn't happened. It happened again a few weeks later when she questioned him when he didn't come home or answer his cell until 2:00 AM and she had started to call hospitals. Again, he worked his charm and contrite act but he was less successful at putting her at ease.
Meanwhile Sam, who, after all, was going through her fourth pregnancy, was already as big as she had been at the end of her previous pregnancies. Brad began to make cutting remarks about it. He lost interest in a physical relationship and she was surprised to find that she didn't mind very much.
What she did mind was coming home one day and finding Johnny trying to bandage Jake's knee. There was a huge jagged gash and the emergency room seemed in order but she wanted to get a better look. Jake was crying and Johnny was extremely upset. "He fell off the swing Mommy. There was a rock."
"Sweetheart he is so lucky to have his big brother here." She grabbed a towel, put pressure on the wound, and picked Jake up to take him up to her bedroom where the medicine cabinet was. "Where's Ms. Valenti?" Sam asked as they left the kitchen.
Johnny said, "She's talking to Brad. They get really mad if you `terupt them."
Sam didn't really think through the implications of that information. Her focus was on her son, now sobbing very quietly against her chest, his little arms around her neck. Johnny pulled on her shirt when she started up the stairs, "Mommy, can't we help Jake downstairs?"
"It won't take all that long to get up to the bedroom, honey," she reassured him, later realizing that she had probably misdiagnosed his reluctance.
She threw open the bedroom door to reveal Brad and the nanny doing far more than talking. The nanny had the good grace to look embarrassed and then immediately concerned for Jake. She was scrambling into her clothes. "We need to get him to the emergency room. I'll drive if you like," she offered.
Brad apparently decided that the best offense was a good offense. "Your kid is going to ruin the carpet. Blood doesn't come out very easily," he said coldly, looking pointedly at the drops sliding down his leg to the white carpet.
Sam finally found her voice to say something so unoriginal but so common to millions of others betrayed by spouses. "How could you?"
"Look at yourself. You're a fat cow. I have my needs. You brought this on yourself," was the answer.
Sam left with the Eva Valenti who almost expiated her sins from Sam's point of view by remaining calm and doing everything needed to get them to the hospital, work their way through the emergency room, and deal with Johnny so that Sam could focus on Jake. The cut was almost to the bone and took several stitches. They went to a hotel and Eva went back to the house and packed bags for them. She reported that Brad was nowhere around.
Sam flew back to Colorado with the boys. Brad was in a difficult position. The real story was extremely ugly and he was advised that if he tried to pin the blame on Sam, unless he was extremely subtle, it would backfire. Instead, he drew on what he knew about events between Sam and Daniel and did what he could to draw the parallels for the public. Sam didn't want her unborn child to ever know just how evil his father was and she consented to a quiet, no-fault divorce but insisted that Brad have no parental rights to the baby. She would be in complete control as to whether he ever saw his child.
The producers were initially very concerned that the end of the marriage was still big news when the movie came out. It turned out that the fact that Sam had, in essence, married and lost Daniel a second time, absolutely fascinated people and brought a whole group of people to the primarily action flick that would not normally have been interested.
As Sam neared the end of her pregnancy she had a very hard time sleeping. In those sleepless hours in the dark she took a good hard look at herself. Somewhere she had gotten very lost. As an adult, she had found identity as a military officer, a scientist, a mother, and a wife. Being a mother and a wife were life affirming but they defined her in terms of relationships with other people. Many women, her mother among them, were wired up to find full satisfaction in the jobs of wife and mother. She envied them, but that wasn't her. When she thought about it, being an officer and a scientist were about her, her capabilities. She was an average mother and a failure as a wife but she had been exceptional as an officer and world class as a scientist. Somehow she had let her military career slip away from her and her scientific credentials molder. It had left her vulnerable to others defining her and vulnerable to expecting others to make her happy when that was really up to her and her alone and whatever peace she could make with God. She was responsible for her own happiness and she needed to accept that responsibility and act on it.
Shortly before Jonas was born, Sam sat down and wrote out a plan to get her life back on track. It envisioned how she could would revive her scientific career and reawaken her mind. It would be tough and it might not work but the very act of trying, she somehow knew, would give her back herself. She had two little boys and another one on the way, she told herself, who needed her and she wanted to be strong enough to have something to give them. Written down it looked very daunting. She read through it at least once a day for months and couldn't seem to actually take the first step.
One evening, she opened the door to find Teal'c. She hugged him as tightly and drew him into the house and into her warm, country kitchen. He was so quiet. Teal'c had never been talkative but this was a deeper silence. This was a man who had run out of things to say. She put a hot drink in front of him, not so much because she thought he wanted it, but because the gesture spoke of comfort and welcome. Then she waited him out.
"My wife is dead," he said at last, looking at the floor.
"I'm so sorry," she said, taking one of his hands between hers. "It isn't enough but believe that it stands for so much more that I can't put into words."
They sat a little longer and then she said, "You seem to have lost your way."
He looked directly at her then, struck by her insight. "Yes SamanthaCarter, I have lost my way."
"So have I," Sam said. "If you could use a friend on the journey, maybe we can help each other." In her autobiography, she credited the pact she made with Teal'c as that night the first true step back to herself.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sam brought a cook in for the Saturday night reunion with Jake and Johnny. She had some money and she might as well use it to come up with a meal that people would actually be happy with. She nearly drove the woman crazy, changing her mind about the menu and ended up with two entrees just to make sure everyone got their favorites. Then she second-guessed herself and became concerned that she would look like she was trying too hard. When she went into the kitchen to change the order once again, the cook lost her temper and unleashed a blistering torrent of some Balkan language on her head. Sam retreated and decided to live with the menu as was.
She went into Teal'c's den and began to fret again. Teal'c was watching a UT game from the previous season and making notes on arcane details of the Vol's performance. By definition, she didn't have his full attention. His fascination with Big Orange football mystified his entire family, bereft of a single connection to the state of Tennessee, and, she was pretty sure, mystified him, but he couldn't seem to help himself. At least he hadn't started wearing orange UT paraphernalia in public. The boys were already teasing him about it unmercifully. Bright orange clothing would only add fuel to the fire.
It didn't much matter that he was answering her on automatic pilot since his only real purpose was to keep her from fretting out loud in an empty room which would have confirmed the cook's impression that she was nuts. He suddenly came fully to attention when the front door opened. Teal'c folded her in his arms and said, "It will all right Samantha. I will stay up here for a bit. We can do this in little bites." She kissed him and went out, not, she hoped, to do battle.
Sam ran lightly down the stairs and was stunned to be presented with a huge bouquet of lilies, her favorites. She honestly hadn't thought they knew. They really didn't, she realized, when she caught Jonas' happy smile out of the corner of her eye. She was reasonably sure he had been the inspiration.
They moved into the living room and had been there for several minutes, everyone acting as if there had never been an estrangement, before Teal'c appeared. Conversation stopped cold. Jonas stepped between his brothers and put a hand on each of their shoulders. Jake and Johnny looked at each other briefly and then Johnny took a few steps closer to Teal'c. Outside the family, it was Jake who was the spokesman but within, it was Johnny, the true leader, who represented himself and Jake. Johnny said, "Hey, Teal'c. How about them Vols?" without a hint of his trademark sarcasm and Sam knew that they would be okay.

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Meriem Clayton

Life in the Fast Lane: Exits

Life in the Fast Lane: Exits

by Meriem Clayton

Summary: After years apart as a fallout of the fame they gained when the Stargate went public, Sam, Daniel,and Jack along with Teal'c and their children come together again. They must deal with loss and face a new challenge.
Category: Drama, Romance
Season: Future Season
Pairing: Daniel/Sam, Jack/Sam, Jack/Sara, Sam/Teal'c, other pairing
Rating: 13+
Warnings: character death, minor language, sexual situations
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/23/05

Samantha Carter O'Neill Jackson se Tealc looked ruefully at Jack O'Neill. "I'm afraid that was exactly the way I remembered it. I was sort of hoping that I had exaggerated how demeaning interviews could be in my memory over the last five years since I stopped giving them." She leaned back in the seat, her exhaustion more emotional than physical. The car was moving in fits and starts in heavy Manhattan traffic. Occasionally a passerby would glance over and see the pretty, 40ish appearing blond woman and her distinguished, silver haired companion, still extremely handsome and seeming to be in his late 50s. A few recognized one or the other or both of them but this was Manhattan. Only two tourists from Biloxi even bothered to comment to anyone about it. Since strangers saw only their bodies and not their minds, not even the closer scrutiny of the couple from Mississippi could divine just how tired they both were. It was as if the much envied Gate Effect, stemming from repeated trips through the Stargate's cold, altered reality, had accelerated the aging of their spirits at the same time it dramatically slowed their physical aging.
Jack shook his head. "They picked someone to interview us who doesn't have any interest in the issues. He just wanted the opportunity to get at us so he could slide in personal questions. `Where's your husband? Where's your wife? How do they feel about the two of you spending time together?' We got to get back to the people setting things up and lay some better ground rules."
"I think they want us on those sorts of shows because they figure that the people who watch the lighter weight stuff are going to be the hardest to reach, the least likely to pay attention to what we say in a speech somewhere," She responded, sounding resigned to more such appearances if they were going to do their bit to fight a policy change toward taking what Earth needed by force from the people of low tech planets.
Jack punched the seat as hard as he could. "If I thought there was any chance Sara would hear or understand any of that idiot's innuendos..." He broke off and stared out the window, thinking about his sweet wife, ravaged by Parkinson's and other physical problems -- he was beginning to fear Alzheimer's although the doctors had yet to mention it -- who was no longer able to really take in all that went on in the world.
Sam said, soothingly, "We're each making appearances alone. As soon as Daniel and I do a couple of interviews together or the two of your make a joint appearance, that'll defuse rumors about you and me."
Jack snorted. "You think so? What about sly suggestions about you and Daniel rekindling old fires? Actually I think we'll start hearing about how all three of us have some sort of strange thing in play." He looked away from the window then and made direct eye contact with her. "Could you handle that?"
"What!" she gasped.
Jack realized how she had heard him immediately. "I DON'T mean if you could handle us actually doing, you know. Where is your head anyway, Sam? I meant, handling the gossip?"
"I knew that," Sam replied, wondering, indeed where her head had been to have even thought for a minute he would be asking a question like that. She had no intention of being unfaithful to Teal'c no matter where her husband was at the moment, Jack was a married man, and Daniel still seemed to be grieving for his late wife. Yet seeing Jack and Daniel in the flesh after years and years was causing her to have stray images flash into her mind, memories of two bodies she had known as well her own during her marriages to each of them. It was embarrassing. She thanked God that people really couldn't read each others' minds but she needed to be more careful about the inappropriate paths in which she allowed such memories to lead her thoughts. "I've heard worse. I can handle it. You're just anxious to get back to Sara. It must have been hard to leave her with Daniel and his kids."
"Not really. Those kids are so good for her. What surprises me is that the Golden Brothers came back to Minnesota again," he said, looking speculative as he considered the return of Sam's three sons to his isolated home -- their son, Johnny O'Neill, Sam and Daniel's son, Jake Jackson, and Sam's boy by her third-ex, Jonas Smith. By contrast, Daniel, his stepdaughter and her baby and his four children had been staying at Jack's ever since Daniel had brought them to earth from Lisseth.
"I've been trying to figure that out and I think it's Jake. I'm hoping, really hoping, that he's softening a little toward his father, not to mention the fact that Daniel's children are his half brothers and sisters. Jake wants to know them before they go back to Lisseth and he never sees them again. It also allows him to be around Daniel without admitting that he wants to be. Johnny's there because he's still defensive about Jake with respect to Daniel. Jonas really took a liking to all the Jacksons when we were together a few weeks ago. And, you know Jack; maybe the same is true for Johnny as for Jake. Maybe Johnny is starting to appreciate his father, you. He'd have even more trouble than Jake admitting he cared." Sam said, glad for the change in topic.
"Sam, Sam, Sam," Jack said, "Wake up and smell the pheromones. What you say may all be true but there's another major draw for Jake. Seline is Jake's stepsister, not a blood relation. I think he's really intrigued with her and taken with her baby. You know he went with Seline and Daniel when Danny's club foot was operated on. They've videoconned on the computer daily, probably more than once, but I know about at least one a day."
"Really?" Sam said surprised. "Where have I been?"
"You've done a lot more appearances than either Daniel or I and you've been worried about Teal'c."
She looked very somber and nodded her head. "Sometimes I can't think about anything else and other times I absolutely refuse to think about it at all because the thoughts aren't good. Imagine if Sara was halfway across the universe and you only got information about her, oh maybe, once a week." She hugged herself as if suddenly cold. "Something tells me Teal'c's only coming back as ashes." Jack gave her the sad, somehow knowing, look that she had caught him out with more than once. Sam kept feeling like he knew something she didn't but he wouldn't admit to a thing.
As they pulled up to the terminal at LaGuardia, Sam's cell rang. She fumbled with answering it while getting out of the car and making her way inside. Jack insisted on taking her carry-on to make it easier. It was a short conversation and she turned to Jack afterwards, very pale. "The Air Force is sending a car to pick us up. They say they'll provide transportation to Minneapolis and not to worry about our plane. They need to meet with me about something."
The government car, a minivan with tinted windows, was at the curb in less than two minutes. Clearly it had been lurking in the vicinity. Sam froze part way into the vehicle when she saw who was seated there, awaiting her. Jack urged her in the rest of the way and the door slid closed. "Hello SamanthaseTeal'c, GeneralO'Neill," he said, gravely.
"Rylac, it's been way too long," Jack said, filling the gap while Sam found her voice.
Neither of them had an illusions about why arguably the most powerful of all Jaffa leaders would have chosen to drop by New York for a visit. "It is good to see you," Sam managed to get out at last. "Do you...do you have news of Teal'c?"
The darkly handsome face in front of her looked so incredibly sad that his words were unnecessary, but he spoke them anyway. Some things have to be spoken out loud, even when they hurt deeply. Ryalc had little English but he would have chosen to speak in Jaffa, in any case, since Sam and Jack were the only ones who needed to understand. "My father and your husband fell in battle three of your planetary cycles ago. He died immediately but he took many of the enemy with him and he saved many of us. It is a measure of the man he was that he chose to die with heroic good effect than to wait for death to strike him down far from battle."
Sam had taken the seat next to Rylac and now she embraced him, beginning to cry but no yet to sob. "Thank you for coming to tell me yourself. I am greatly honored."
"As you know, when my father's second wife died, he left our people because the circumstances of her death played to some of our worst superstitions. Many believed that he was cursed. He knew that it was having a negative effect on my ability to lead. Because he believed in me, he exiled himself. I let him make this sacrifice but, at first, it was a cause of great pain. Then, because of you, I was able to be at peace. You made him happy and kept him from being alone and purposeless in a strange place. " He picked up a stoppered, dark glass bottle, about 6 inches high, from the floor at his feet and handed it to her. "Half of my father's ashes are within."
Sam took the bottle and held on to it for dear life.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Johnny O'Neill had been playing guitar on automatic pilot, his gaze fixed across the room on Seline and Jake whose heads were close together, bending over baby Danny. "Teach me how to play," Chiona wheedled, sitting down next to Johnny and interrupting his music by putting a hand on the frets below his grip. He removed it, rather like a piece of seaweed that had washed up against him. Johnny noticed how she jerked her hand away as soon as he touched her. She angled herself around so she was interposed in his line of sight. "Why not?" she asked, challengingly.
He considered Daniel's oldest, Chiona. The signals were so mixed. She hung around him all the time but didn't act like she was all that interested. He was pretty sure she was trying to keep him from horning in on Jake and her step-sister, Seline. He WAS going to have to do something about that situation soon. Seline was becoming too important to Jake no matter how much he tried to point out her shortcomings to his brother. How would Jake handle it when she inevitably went back to Lisseth where Jake couldn't follow? The sooner the budding whatever it was ended, the better.
Then there was how jumpy Chiona had gotten. The last time the two families had been together she had seemed very comfortable with him, taking his arm without a thought. Now she started like a rabbit at any chance contact. He thought back to Seline's reaction when his half-brother, Jake, had hugged her at the time of their introduction. Chiona's reaction now was like Seline's had been. Daniel had said Seline shied away because on Lisseth absolutely no physical contact was allowed between unmarried women and marriageable men. Had he all of a sudden become marriageable? Why not before?"
Chiona repeated her question, "Why not?"
"I don't like to waste my time. I doubt very much if you have enough musical ability to take advantage of it," he answered, deliberately being insulting and hoping she would go away.
She chuckled slightly, not the response he was used to getting from people he shot down. Then she began to sing in a warm, rich, slightly husky alto. The song was in a minor key but seemed to use an 8 tone scale similar to Occidental music. Her brothers and sisters each began to sing along from where they were seated with complete unselfconsciousness. Pubescent Jak's voice occasionally cracked but the close harmony they sang on the chorus was beautiful. Then the others lowered their voices and provided a counterpoint to the verse Chiona sang, hitting the notes of the lovely melody perfectly and with nuanced expression in her caressing voice. After another chorus, it was Seline who sang a verse in a piercing, pure soprano. There was a final chorus and they all applauded and began to call out what must have been titles in their language because there was quick agreement on one and Trina began a lilting, lively number that each of them added to in turn with much laughter. The song obviously gave them opportunities to tease because mock fighting and gesturing was the consequence of some verses. Almost immediately after they started it, Jak grabbed a waste basket, turned it upside down, and added a drum beat.
Everyone was absolutely captivated. When they stopped after the second song, Sarah cried out, "More, more," and Jake asked for an explanation of the jokes involved.
Amid the chatter, Chiona gave Johnny a smug look, leaned toward him and said in a whisper, "You're right. Why waste music on unwashed savages?" She rose gracefully and went into the kitchen, chuckling to herself again, while the rest of the ensemble began another song.
Johnny couldn't stand it. He was a musician before everything and she appeared to be a rare talent. Music was the only thing that could compete with his focus on Jake. He followed her quickly into the kitchen where he found her cutting up an apple. "Okay, I apologize," he said impatiently. "That song you sang. That's a traditional folk tune, right?" while thinking to himself, "No copyright."
This didn't appear to have been a smart question. Chiona said, bitingly, "Simple folk can't come up with new music, right? Of course at some point there had to have been folk who could write music but they must have all died off."
Johnny plowed ahead through the hostility, tenaciously after his answer. "Well, is it or isn't it?"
Chiona sighed and said, "Actually, no. Seline and I wrote it. Our mother was very gifted musician. Seline and I got her musical ability. Jak, Tealk, and Trina got Danil's brilliance. Not that the others are tone deaf or Seline and I are stupid."
Johnny was stunned. This girl was amazing and he wanted to make music with her. "Do you still want to learn the guitar?"
She looked at him thoughtfully and he just knew she was plotting something. "Do you think it would make Jonas interested in me?" she asked, astounding him.
"You want me to teach you guitar to give you a chance to get in my little brother's pants," he asked annoyed by her continued lack of sexual interest in him although he asked himself why he would care. She was attractive but not beautiful and, as the lead guitarist of "We Die Free," he had the attention of top models and Hollywood starlets.
She looked a bit affronted. "He's too young for marriage. I was just thinking a harmless flirtation."
"Who brought up marriage?" he asked, confused.
Now she wasn't playing at being affronted. She was furious. "What kind of woman do you think I am that I would consider becoming physical with a man to whom I wasn't married?" She threw an apple section at him and he thought, "I'm lucky she didn't throw the knife."
Chiona huffed out of the kitchen brushing past Daniel coming in. Daniel walked over to Johnny and said, mildly, apparently having overheard their exchange, "On Lisseth, the taboos against premarital sex and adultery are extremely strong. You not only insult her but you threaten her future by implying that she would even consider going into marriage as anything but a virgin. Think 19th century small town, Johnny."
"They seem to think you're just wonderful. Makes me confident you haven't shared your checkered past with your daughters. And," he said, his tone sharpening, "If you're thinking of a reprise with my mother now that Teal'c is light years away, you're way off base."
Daniel burst out laughing and Johnny was taken aback again. The Jackson's just didn't ever respond the way he expected them to. "There was never any adultery between Sam and me. But in any case, believe this, Johnny; I wouldn't take your mother on a bet. You've got nothing to fear from me." Johnny was surprised to discover that there was a real ring of truth in Daniel's voice that was totally at odds with the expression he had observed in Daniel's eyes when he looked at Johnny's mother. Daniel had an iron will to resist the temptation Sam offered and Johnny was perversely irritated that he would back off from Sam, from HIS mother, as if she was somehow flawed.
Johnny shrugged and left the kitchen, deciding to find Chiona and apologize. She wasn't in the large living room with his brothers and the rest of Daniel's children. Sara was napping and Chiona was the only other person missing. Her 12 year old brother Jak caught his visual sweep of the room and said, smirking a little, "Chiona's gone outside."
He grabbed the acoustic guitar up in one hand from where he had left it and went out to the porch. Chiona was rocking, her eyes closed, but somehow she knew who had joined her without opening them. "More insults?" she asked.
"Look, Chiona, your customs are different. What I said probably would have been offensive to an American woman but not to the extent it was offensive to you and not for exactly the same reasons. I'm sorry, really. And I would like to teach you the guitar, if you're still interested."
He waited and she kept rocking. Finally she stopped moving and looked up at him and nodded. "I'd like that. Thank you."
He sat down in a wicker chair next to her and decided he had to know what was going on first. "What happened between the first time we were here and this time that changed the way you react to me?"
Chiona sunk down a little in the chair but all she said was, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Come on, Chiona. Daniel said that there's no contact between girls like you and marriageable men but you were all over me at first. I thought he was lying. Now you won't let me near you, which by the way is going to make it a lot more difficult for me to show you how to hold your hand on the frets. Tell me."
"This is going to be embarrassing," she paused, "for both of us actually. You sure you want to hear it?"
Really intrigued now, he prodded, "Yeah."
"Well, on Lisseth the only men who wear beards ever, I mean ever, are men who choose ... not to love women. After you all left the last time, Danil explained to me that it was different here."
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Daniel was sitting on the living room floor with the three youngest and Jack's black lab who just loved the visitors. In Mayborne's doggy brain, they were apparently were part dog since they seem to not be allowed on the furniture either. Tealk was doing math problems using the coffee table as his desk. Jak was sharing it with him, writing up a plan for a physics experiment his father had assigned. Trina was working with Daniel in a mutual study they were doing of geology. There was a wonderful smell of a savory stew in the air and laughter coming from the kitchen where Seline and Jake were making dinner.
When the door swung open and Johnny and Chiona came in laughing, she stopped cold when she took in her father and siblings at their studies. Daniel leveled a displeased look at her and she winced. "You do know what I'm going to ask you, don't you," he said in the language of their people on Lisseth. There was no need to embarrass her in front of Johnny.
"Dei," she answered in kind, "Johnny's been teaching me to play the guitar. That's a kind of study, right?"
"It is that. But is it more important than the things that you weren't studying? More important than practicing your fighting skills?" Daniel hated to be a wet blanket when it seemed that Johnny was finally acting human but the boys took their cue from Chiona, not Trina. There was also the persistent malaise he felt over Teal'c, almost mourning but a kernel of hope keeping him from giving in to full grief. Still it had sapped his patience with his children of late.
Johnny was watching the exchange, puzzled but not happy. You didn't have to speak their language to know that Chiona was getting mildly, but distinctly, chewed out. They'd been working on the music all afternoon and he must be thinking it had something to do with that. Suddenly, Johnny spoke up. "Hey, I don't know what you are all talking about. A little rude perhaps, Daniel?" he said in an aside directly specifically at his ex-stepfather. "You should know, Chiona and I have been working on a song about freedom. And there's more." He raised his voice and called out, "Hey Jake, come out here for a moment, huh?" He turned his attention back to Daniel. "This effort you're all supporting to keep places like Lisseth from being taken over, I think you've been calling it Manifest Destiny, well, Jake and I were talking about building our next "We Die Free" album around it. Not quite a rock opera like `Tommy,' but maybe getting close."
Jake, coming in from the kitchen trailed by Seline, looked amazed. "What's this we? I believe I brought it up and you didn't have anything good to say about it."
Johnny said, curtly, "You remember it anyway you want to. Point is, that's what we're thinking about doing, right?"
Jake shrugged, "Sure. I really don't like the idea of them all going back to live in an occupied country." Seline gave him a brilliant smile and, if he was going to say anything else, he seemed to have lost the thread. Daniel and Johnny both noticed. Johnny scowled and Daniel felt better than he had all day.
Daniel had stood up and was facing Johnny, his hands on his hips, braced for something more. This was Johnny and he had begun to believe the man was just one hidden agenda inside another. "The thing is," Johnny said, "This could really fall flat. It isn't exactly what our fans expect. We need something to put it over. So, I'm thinking, we use Chiona and Seline to each do a cut and we use the kids for some harmony. And you, Daniel and the kids, with the robes and the whole bit, you guys are in the videos."
Daniel went cold. He had known his family being part of the PR campaign would come up again but this was the first time it had been mentioned to them. He was surrounded by eager faces. No one had any qualms about it. In fact, there seemed to be universal excitement and he was going to have to burst their bubble. "The sooner the better," he thought. "The more they think about it the more disappointed they are going to be." He put a hand up. "I can understand why the idea appeals to you, Johnny, but it's out of the question."
That was when Seline gut kicked him but, out of respect, she did it in their language. "Dei, I honor you but I am of age and a widow and no longer under your authority. I am going to do this because I think it is the right thing to do. Please forgive me."
Daniel felt dozens of arguments flood his mind but he saw the set of her jaw, her expression identical to her mother's when Iona had her mind made up. Arguing with her would be pointless. Chiona spoke next, "Dei, I am old enough to marry. I am an adult on our world. I would also do this."
Chiona's right to make this sort of a decision was definitely in the grey area according to the customs of the Blue of Lisseth. The more conservative would have said not but he had never lined up with their point of view. It would be hypocritical if he did now, just because his daughter was threatened. "So be it. But you three," he said to Trina, Tealk, and Jak, "Will not do this. My reasons are sound and involve protecting you from the public of this world who, at this point, haven't had a chance to eat you alive yet and to protect you from those backing Manifest Destiny. Does anyone want to discuss it with me further?"
The three younger children looked very unhappy but only Trina spoke. "Please think about it, Dei. Perhaps you will find a reason to change your mind."
Johnny and Jake had been watching the exchange, in the Blue tongue, rather like spectators at a tennis match, spectators who had no idea what the rules were. Daniel took pity on them and said in English, "Chiona and Seline can work with you. I will do what you need from me, but the younger three will not take part."
Seline and Chiona hugged each other and Jake and Johnny grinned. Johnny said, "It's going to be an intense effort to get this out there in time to make a difference so this needs to be a priority, all right, Daniel?"
Daniel had no choice but to agree but he wasn't going to let it go without a few conditions. Seline and Jake, that was perfect, but, although he still loved Johnny, he wanted something better than what he had become for Chiona "I'm there when they leave here. They don't go on the road without me."
"Sure, sure," Johnny said dismissively. Everyone began to move away, talking excitedly. Daniel caught Johnny's arm and hissed in his ear, "Just in case, you might have noticed that Chiona's a pretty girl, keep your hands off her, Johnny. She's a little flirt but she doesn't know your rules and the consequences for her are immense."
When the chopper brought Jack and Sam a short time later and Sam got out carrying the jar, Daniel knew immediately. He had seen Jaffa funeral jars before. Jack had it together, with only small signs that he was hurting, while Sam was a mess. Unlike Jack and Daniel, she hadn't known that Teal'c's trip was a suicide mission, motivated by the fact that he was dying anyway. Teal'c planned to fight until he died and to take chances that were too risky for men who had reasons to try to live. Daniel fervently hoped, for the sake of the friendship that seemed to have reestablished itself between Sam and Jack, that she never found out they had kept that information from her.
He was less concerned for himself since he didn't have a future with her, not even a future friendship. He could hardly stand to be around her because of the memories and the longings that he couldn't suppress. He was determined to keep himself from showing so little self-respect as to live in another man's shadow within his own marriage again. Now that the barrier to that presented by her marriage to Teal'c was gone, he needed to avoid her and get off planet as rapidly as he could before he succumbed to the temptation she offered.
Her sons went to her quickly, all aware that something had happened but, not possessing his knowledge of Jaffa artifacts, less certain what it was. Sam focused on her baby, Jonas, the one who truly loved Teal'c as a father, and said, brokenly, "He died a hero's death Jonas. Rylac told me that he talked about you to him with great pride. Rylac gave me this for you as from one son of Teal'c to another." She took a medallion Teal'c had worn from her pocket and pressed it into Jonas' hand.
"No, Mom, no, please no," Jonas said and his mother enfolded him in her arms and his brothers put their arms around both of them.
Jack crossed the field to Daniel, said, "Oh shit, Daniel, somehow I hoped" and then he and Daniel embraced hard. When they broke apart, they looked down to see little Tealk looking very serious. "My namegiver is dead, Dei?" Daniel nodded, not trusting himself to words. The little boy began to cry, Daniel picked him up and held him close, while his family gathered around to hold him, Tealk, and Jack. Daniel knew then, in the middle of all his grief, that despite the mutual mess they had made of things, he and Sam, surrounded as they were by the love of their children when they needed support, had still done some things right.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The collaboration between Jake and Johnny, Chiona and Seline bore amazing fruit. There were problems of course. "We Die Free's" drummer and the bassist already felt like hired hands due to the monopoly Jake and Johnny had always held over who wrote the music and the greater share of public attention they got. They resented being presented with a fait accompli for the new album. Jake and Johnny were able to smooth things over with the bassist but as they went into the studio, they were still unsure whether the drummer would need to be replaced.
There were rather a large number of problems with equipment. Jake was run off the road on the way to the studio one morning, nearly escaping plowing into a utility pole. When they told Jack, he contacted the people who had asked him to organize part of the PR effort to fight Manifest Destiny. Shortly after that, very hard, serious looking men seemed to appear unobtrusively in their surroundings and the acts of sabotage, if that's what they were, stopped.
Despite the exhilaration of writing really good music, the good, good feeling he got just being around Seline, the way that the baby who was never far from his mother delighted his heart, Jake was in an emotional stew. He wanted everyone he cared about to be happy and felt responsible somehow if they weren't. Sometimes there was no choice as when his mother and Johnny were on the outs and he was forced to take sides. It killed him to do that and he had worried about his mother the entire time. As far as Daniel went, as long as he had put his father outside the pale of people he should care about, he could ignore what he might be doing to make Daniel unhappy. Seline make that a nonoption.
One night, they were sitting quietly together on a balcony, Danny asleep in Seline's arms, the stars brilliant in the sky above them. Seline said, out of the blue, it seemed to Jake, "I expected to detest you."
"Why?" Jake asked, bewildered.
"You tore Danil up so badly. Every time he came back from seeing you, he would be so sad. It would last for days. I would make him little gifts, sing him songs, try to be an extra good little girl but I wasn't you. Then, when you quit seeing him, that was right when my mother died. He cried for you, Jake."
Jake felt very defensive. "Johnny was so hurt. Daniel shouldn't have left us and he shouldn't have been fooling around with my mom while she was still married to Johnny's dad."
Seline stood up abruptly. "Your mother made Danil miserable. He didn't leave her so much as she refused to come. And what evidence do you have, pray tell, that Danil committed adultery with your evil mother?" She spat the last part out.
"It was in papers. It was on the internet." He answered hotly.
"And that makes it true?" she asked and turned heel and left.
She was still not speaking to him two days later and it was affecting the work. Johnny took Jake aside and asked him what was going on. Jake couldn't believe it. "You spent hours telling me that she was trouble. That she only wanted to go back to her planet and would never allow herself to feel anything for me. That she was, I don't know, ignorant and not really half as good looking as any of my previous girlfriends. NOW, you're upset that I'm fighting with her?"
Johnny shrugged. "Okay, I said some things. But Jake, the work is incredible. This album is going to be the best thing I've ever done. Whatever it was, at least get to the point where you can work with her."
Jake had seldom been so angry with his brother. He had spent his life not rocking the boat because he worried about Johnny, about Johnny's inability to connect with anyone but him. He worried that if Johnny didn't have him, Johnny would be alone. He thought the saving grace in all this was that Johnny wanted nothing more than that Jake be happy, even if he was sometimes confused about what it took to make that happen. He was beginning to wonder.
Going out into the hall, he ran, quite literally, into his father and knocked several books out of his arms. "I'm sorry. My head's somewhere else," he apologized as he helped pick up the books. "More books for that biology project you have Seline working on?" Daniel was doing a good job of keeping Seline and Chiona safe from Jake and Johnny through the studies he lined up for them. Almost every minute they weren't working on the music or taking care of Danny, they were studying something. They were so eager to make it up to Daniel for defying him that they couldn't be tempted away from the work. Jake had even started studying with Seline, who, he discovered, had at least the equivalent of an undergraduate degree from a really good school in her head and graduate student knowledge in some disciplines. She was way ahead of him and they had segued into her teaching him. It was, improbably, great fun, at least until he made her mad.
Daniel nodded. He gave Jake a sideways glance and said, "I really need a cup of coffee. Are you guys on a break? Do you want to go get some coffee?"
Both men had their telltale long hair hidden under a cap. Daniel was wearing sunglasses and Jake had his available, perched on his cap. They could probably go out safely without a problem, Jake thought. "Sure. Why not?" he agreed.
They sat at the back of the little coffee shop and Daniel, breathing the steam rolling off his cup, said, "I regret the coffee situation on Lisseth. I had to depend on the SG teams to bring it in and, strangely enough, when they were annoyed with me which was most of the time, I seemed to have trouble getting a steady supply."
Jake suddenly couldn't stand it any more. "Why did you leave my mother?"
Daniel looked more than a little startled. "Where did that question come from?"
"Please just answer it. And don't protect me or my mother. I need to know."
"Okay then." He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "There were two reasons. The one I admitted to myself and her at the time was the whole Ascended thing. Johnny told me once you were teased a lot about being an `Angel's' kid. Can you imagine what it was like for me? I'm not comfortable in the public eye and when that came out, it made it utterly unbearable. I asked your mother to come to Lisseth with me and she wouldn't. I just knew I had to get away and I guess I hoped that after a little bit she'd miss me and she'd want to come. Instead she filed for divorce."
"What was the other reason?"
"Something you need to be very sure of with Seline if you get to the point where you are thinking about marrying her." He held up a hand. "I know, I know, not going to happen. But still, she really loved Mindo, little Danny's father. Make damn sure she isn't pretending you're him."
"Reading between the lines, you're saying my mom was still in love with Jack?"
Daniel pushed his cup away from him, suddenly not interested. "Yeah. She compared me to him all the time. She wouldn't say anything but I could see it in her eyes. It killed her that he married Sara. I told myself that she'd come to love me but it never happened. The real reason she wouldn't go to Lisseth with me was that it was on another planet from Jack."
"Damn," Jake exploded. "You idiot!" People were staring and Jake suddenly got nervous that drawing that sort of attention would lead to their being recognized and the unpleasant swarm of attention that usually meant. Daniel was gaping at him dumbfounded. He lowered his voice to a near whisper. "Do you know ANYTHING about Brad Smith?"
"Huh?" Daniel looked at him askance for the change of subject.
"Do...you...know...anything...about Brad Smith?" Jake repeated, his voice starting to get louder again as he reiterated his question about Sam's third husband. "Just answer the question."
"He's very big star, an A-list actor. I guess Sam met him when she was the technical adviser for that movie on the Stargate."
"Oh...my...God," Jake said. "Did you never see the movie?"
"Noooo. Look Jake this is all incredibly off topic. How about explaining why you got so insulting?"
"The thing is, Brad Smith looks enough like you to be your brother. He played you in that movie. The reason my mother married him was that she was at a really low point, mourning losing you, and he confused her. She could almost pretend she had you back again. Notice she did NOT marry the guy playing Jack."
"No way," Daniel said, shaking his head.
"Oh yeah," Jake said emphatically. "I was just a little kid but I still remember that she cried night after night after you left. I don't know when she came to love you but she sure as hell did by the time it was all over."
Daniel was still as a rock and obviously having an intense interior dialogue. Jake let it go on for awhile before saying, "Join me for a moment here. The reason that Seline is mad at me, the main reason, is that I said something about you and my mother fooling around on Jack. Did you?"
Daniel had his head in his hands now. "You could really believe that, hell forget about me since you haven't had any use for me for years, but about your mother?" He raised his head and looked Jake in the eyes. "No, Jake. I would never have done that to Jack just as I wouldn't have done it to Teal'c."
They sat in silence until their coffee was quite cold. Jake knew that he couldn't be comfortable with Daniel hurting any more. "Maybe you and Mom, you know, when she had time to mourn Teal'c...."
"Forget it Jake. Maybe, given what you said, she cares more about me that I thought but Jack's still the main event."
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They began to work on the videos. Sam came to the studio where they were shooting and joined Daniel off to one side watching. Daniel was in Lisseth robes, his long braids caught at the nape of his neck in a thong and falling down his back. He had been on camera earlier and would be again. Sam had a brief mental image of his hair falling all around her if he were on top of her. She shook herself. Maybe therapy would help. She was a widow who had really cared about her husband and he was only in the grave 4 months now. Granted it hadn't been a passionate relationship, a lot more cuddling went on than sex, but still...
The director was very unhappy with Seline and Daniel was poised to intervene. "You and Jake here are supposed to be star-crossed young lovers. Tell me how we are supposed to convey that if you won't let him touch you?"
"It's just, well my people, we don't even kiss until we're betrothed," her voice sounded incredibly embarrassed. Sam wondered why Jake who was actually extremely sensitive to people's feelings, whatever his good time Charlie image might be, was letting this go on.
Daniel was getting more and more tense. Sam whispered to him, "You have to let her handle things for herself, Daniel. Give her a chance." He glared at her but didn't go into the fray.
Jake spoke then. "How about if we have a private conversation about this?"
He pulled Seline away from the group, and close enough to Daniel and Sam whom he evidently didn't notice, that they could just make out what was being said.
"So if we were engaged, you'd let me kiss you?" Jake asked.
She nodded, looking confused. He pulled a ring off his little finger and said, "Will you marry me, Seline?"
Her mouth was hanging open and she couldn't seem to find anything to say. He picked up her hand and started to put the ring on it before she stopped him. "Wait just a minute. You're asking me to marry you so that you can kiss me in a video?"
"The video only messed up the timing. I have a ring being custom made for you that will be ready on Friday. Saturday I was going to ask you," Jake said, his voice full of nervousness and hope. "Will you?"
He brushed her hair back from her face and slid his fingers into her hair cupping her head. His other hand caressed her cheek. "Jake, where would we live? I don't belong here. There's." He cut off her questions by kissing her.
"Now you have to say yes or you'll be a loose woman," he said softly when they came up for air. "Look, Seline. There will be things to work out but I can't contemplate a life that doesn't have you in it." He kissed her again then. She said, "You have to ask my father. That's how it's done," and pushed him away.
Daniel took that as his cue and came forward, trailed by Sam. "I shouldn't have eavesdropped but I guess I did." He looked at Jake, expectantly.
"Uh, I guess this is the part where I ask your permission to ask Seline to marry me?" Jake said uncertainly.
"Actually, it's my permission for her to marry you, period, but it is regarded as pro forma that I would say yes if that's what she wants," Daniel said, smiling slightly and looked, again, expectant.
"Oh, well, do I have your permission to marry Seline?"
Daniel looked at Seline. "What do you want, honey?" Seline looked at Jake and then blushed fiery red. "Can I take that as you want me to say yes?" She nodded and Daniel laughed, delighted. "You have my permission, Jake." Everyone hugged.
The director suddenly appeared. "How much longer is this conversation going to take?"
"We're done," Jake said. "The lady will be kissing me." They followed the director back to the set. Jake turned and made a thumbs up sign to his parents as he walked away.
"Oh my," Sam sniffed and started rummaging in her purse for a Kleenex. "It's been years since I've cried this much."
Daniel produced a small package of Kleenex out of a pocket. "Allergies," he said to explain his preparedness. "I am sorry, Sam, that you lost Teal'c. You finally had a husband that suited you and... well...I've been through this twice now and it does get better. You go from barely being able to think about anything else to actually forgetting for hours at a time that they are gone to finally being in a place when you can think about the good times and it makes you feel warm, not destroyed."
"You're not at that last, at peace, place though yet," she commented.
"Why do you say that?" he asked curious.
Sam reached out and touched the small smudge in the middle of his forehead. "Oh," he acknowledged. "That stays there until I die or remarry, actually until I am promised to marry. Seline will be wiping hers off, if she hasn't already. It doesn't mean I'm still in mourning. You can keep the Kleenex package if you want. I've got another in my backpack." Daniel wandered off to talk to the drummer who was sitting glumly by himself.
Sam watched him go, imagining his backside going away under the robes, and found herself thinking those thoughts again. Through four honeymoons with four very good looking men she hadn't thought this much about sex. She was beginning to fear for her sanity.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Johnny sat, looking extremely displeased with life in general, watching Seline and Jake. Jake had his arm around her and she was nestled close to him. Mentally he ticked off his grievances: 1) he didn't want Jake with Seline. She was going to mess him up royally, wasn't she? 2) Jake and Seline were spending too much time gawking at each other and it was cutting their productivity, and 3) he wanted to be doing with Chiona what Jake was doing with Seline and didn't see any hope of it.
Chiona glided up next to him, in Lisseth robes, and sat down, turning her back to Johnny. Her hair, usually in a thick braid, was loose. She handed Johnny a brush. "The director wants me to have my hair loose. Seline's, ahum,'busy.' Would you mind brushing it?"
"That's not against the rules?" he asked in a very nasty tone.
She twisted around and looked at him strangely. "What's your problem today, Johnny?"
He rolled his eyes but he began to brush her hair. It was a lustrous inky black and absolutely straight. There were a few tangles and he wasn't as gentle as he should have been working them out. After about the second one, she turned again and cursed him in Blue. It was incomprehensive but yet extremely comprehensible. He tried to behave after that and lost himself in the pure sensual pleasure of her silky hair gliding across his fingers. "Johnny, you're done, right?" she asked at last.
He realized at that point that he needed to take a walk, alone. He got up hastily and beat a path out the door. Unfortunately she was utterly clueless and followed him. He turned on her and hissed, "I absolutely refuse to believe that no one on Lisseth ever breaks a rule, even a little. Either kiss me once or go back inside and leave me alone."
"Why do I waste my time on someone so unpleasant and self-involved?" She moaned.
He pointed to the door. "It makes me crazy. I can't stand it anymore. I've noticed Daniel is avoiding my mother and I can understand why he feels compelled to do it."
"I can't stand you but I can't stand not to be around you. How do you have this effect on me?" He was still pointing at the door. "One that's all. You promise me. That's all." He started to reach for her. "I want a promise."
"I promise," he said thickly. If he only had one kiss, he had to make it the kiss of a lifetime, something she would dream about until it made her as crazy as he was becoming. He drew her against him with one arm around her waist. With his other hand, he traced down her cheek and rubbed a thumb across her lips. She was breathing rapidly and shallowly and he lowered his head so his mouth was only a whisper away from hers but still he didn't begin the actual kiss. He brushed his mouth against hers, encouraging her lips to part. Then finally, he ended her agony, and gave her the first kiss of her life. Chiona didn't learn about kissing from some poor awkward boy who was himself clueless and embarrassed. She learned from a poor besotted man who was suddenly more nervous than before a crowd of thousands. He may have possessed his share of knowledge on the subject gleaned from any number of eager and beautiful women who wanted to kiss the rock star but, in some ways, it was like his first kiss too.
When the kiss at last ended, she gave a little push to put space between them. She was obviously shaky and deeply affected. "No wonder they don't allow us to do that. It's dangerous," she said, attempting to get control of the situation.
Johnny wasn't letting her off so easily. He skimmed a hand up her body, never touching but only a paper thin distance away. His face was inches from hers and he spoke softly, his warm breath heating her face. "I want you and you want me. You'll have to decide if you want to keep living by your rules because I won't." Abruptly he backed off from her and left. Chiona leaned against the wall and hated herself for thinking jealously about Sam and Seline. It seemed so unfair that Johnny's mother had found four men to love her, her sister had found two, and she could only find one man who was too busy loving himself.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When the video were finished, they all ended up back in Minnesota. This freed Jack and Daniel to make appearances since Sam was in Minnesota as the chaperone and the girls were taking care of Sara. The day they had spent in Chicago had been unpleasant but it was over. They were safely in their suite at the Wyndham at the airport and had liberated a couple of beers from the minibar. They sat limply, completely drained, on either end of the sofa.
"What's it like having all that hair?" Jack asked.
"Pardon," Daniel responded, bemused by Jack's choice of subject.
"It looks like it would be heavy, you know, pull on your scalp and make your head feel restricted," Jack speculated. "Lord, it must take you hours for it to dry when you wash it. And what an ordeal if you ever got lice. Not to mention the risk of it getting in something." Daniel was looking at him with his mouth open and his forehead wrinkled. "You know, since you came back from Lisseth, it's the first time in my life I've ever really lived with people with truly long hair. None in the military and Sara and Sam always kept their hair short. Hell even my dog has short hair."
"Why are we talking about this Jack?" Daniel asked absolutely bewildered by now. Jack, the man of few words, going on about nothing. Daniel felt like he was living a Seinfield episode from decades before.
"You've got a lot more hair than Sam," Jack continued as if Daniel hadn't said a word. "She got about as much hair on her head now as you had when I first met you although it's pouffed up more. I guess I'm just way too old because it seems to me like a really strange mental image to imagine a man and a woman together where he has all this hair and she hasn't got much more hair than some guys."
"You are creeping me out, Jack," Daniel said. "Why in heaven's name would you be imagining Sam and I together? That's almost like imaging, I don't know, your parents or something. At this point, we're family."
Jack looked at Daniel then, finally acknowledging that he was saying something. "Are you telling me that when Sam and I were married you never had images come to your mind, whether you wanted them or not?"
"Good grief, no," Daniel said disgusted.
"But then, you hadn't been married to her yet and you are so damn honorable. She was my wife, after all."
"So you, you've pictured.." Words failed Daniel and he trailed off.
"I take the fifth," Jack said.
"You filthy old man," Daniel said, half laughing, half appalled.
"If I ever did, I'm not saying it was anything I wanted to do or that I didn't absolutely refuse to entertain the thought," Jack defended himself.
"I return to my earlier question. Why are we talking about this?" Daniel said, struggling to get closure to this whole disturbing discussion.
"It's the way Sam's been looking at you. It's putting ideas in my head about the two of you. I was married to her, Daniel. I know what that expression on her face means. If I catch her, damn, Daniel, the woman blushes." Jack shrugged. "Maybe you ought to do something about it."
"And maybe you should go to confession or something to deal with your unclean thoughts and leave me be." He stood up and started for his room.
"You can't tell me you're not still in love with her," Jack said, raising his voice slightly.
Daniel turned around. "We had this conversation, the night before Teal'c left. She never stopped loving you. I love you too Jack but I don't want to sleep with you which is what being married to her was like." He rubbed at his face. "Look, this whole Manifest Destiny issue is going to come to a head in the next three months, one way or the other, and then I'm going back to Lisseth. There are a couple of attractive widows in my camp. I thought I'd spend some time with them, see if there's a spark. It happened with Iona. It could happen again. Good night, Jack."
He opened the door and then turned back a second time. "And, uh, Jack. I've caught her looking at you a time or two. Maybe we should agree not to make anything of it."
The door closed behind Daniel. Jack got up and threw his empty beer bottle in the wastebasket so viciously that it shattered. "Oh, Sam. I'm doing my best but the scar tissue on that boy just may be too thick," he muttered and slumped back down on the sofa.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sam had begun to feel that she was on some sort of funeral barge and it wasn't for her departed husband. She was the one who was newly widowed but she seemed to be spending a good deal of her time trying to lift other people out of depression. Jake and Jonas had gone off for the delayed filming of "Troubles." Thank God, their roles were small and they would only be gone for a month since Seline spent her time moping and getting up in the middle of the night for phone calls from Europe from Jake. This made her even more tired and droopy. The baby, picking up on his mother's malaise and in the midst of aggressive teething, seemed to cry all the time. Trina was very upset that her father hadn't relented about allowing her to participate in the album and its video and flounced around, taking out a certain amount of her disgruntlement on her brothers. The worst offenders were Johnny and Chiona. They were particularly annoying because Sam couldn't discover the reason they were unhappy although it clearly had to do with their relationship with each other. When she asked Johnny about it, he literally snarled, "Why would I know anything about why some nave little girl has got a cob up her ass?"
She tried to approach Chiona more than once but consistently met with a cold stare and an answer couched in polite words but dripping venom. Seline either didn't want to talk with her sister or refused to share what she had found out with Sam and wasn't any help.
Sam was trying to focus on a professional journal on her laptop but had been sitting on the same page for so long that the screensaver had come on while she was still on the first paragraph. "I'm going for a run," she announced to the boys and Trina who were sitting around the coffee table, studying.
Tealk got up and came over and hugged her. Tealk had made it clear that he thought he had inherited some sort of responsibility for her wellbeing when his namegiver, her husband, had died. He looked up at her and said, sunnily, "Have a good time and be careful not to fall over anything."
Sam couldn't help but melt every time she looked at his sweet face, particularly if his dark hair, his one distinguishing feature from the blond little Jake of years ago, was pulled back so it was less obvious. He'd be her son, if she and Daniel... "Do not go there, Samantha," she chided herself, and gave Tealk a bright smile and a return hug.
She went upstairs to change her jeans for running shorts and was about to come out of the room she was sharing with Trina she heard light female voices and footsteps approaching. Sam felt like a jerk but she decided to stay where she was and take a chance that she might overhear something helpful. It was, indeed, Chiona and Seline. They went into the room they shared directly across the hall but the door didn't close all the way and Sam could just make out the conversation. Seline said with the lack of animation of someone who has already said the same thing many times and been completely unheeded, "If you just would talk to him, explain how you feel."
"That would require Johnny to have some capacity to understand or care about anyone but himself," Chiona responded bitterly.
"He cares about Jake," Seline said but she sounded quite uncertain of that statement herself.
"He just uses Jake as a projection of himself."
"If he's so awful, why are you so torn up?" her sister asked, beginning to sound exasperated.
"Oh Seline," Chiona said, starting to cry, "I don't want to but we don't get to pick who we love. Even if they don't love us back."
"He wants you, that's clear," Seline said.
"He wants me to give up everything I am and he doesn't even love me," Chiona stated in a muffled voice, between sobs. Perhaps Seline was holding her now. "If he just said he loved me, I think I might do what he wants. Behave like a Tauri woman. But he's never said that. He just keeps demanding..." and the rest was lost in big gusts of sobbing.
Sam was ashamed of Johnny and ashamed of herself for intruding on this tawdry confession. She thought she heard the door shut more firmly and the voices get indistinct and peeked out to see if she could leave her room unnoticed. That was when she saw Johnny, frozen in place in front of the next bedroom door. He was deep in thought and Sam knew, she just knew, he had heard at least some of it. Chiona had given him the weapon to make her do something she didn't really want to do. Never mind that there was nothing particularly wrong with it from Sam's point of view. Chiona believed to her core that there was and it would affect her commensurately.
Sam backed away from the door and leaned against the wall, feeling helpless. She knew from experience that Johnny wouldn't listen to her. Maybe it was time to involve Jack. It was time for him to step up to the plate as Johnny's father whether Johnny wanted him to or not. The last person to involve was Chiona's father who probably would want to take Johnny out and demonstrate that archeologists could be pretty scary people too.
When Sam came back downstairs, Jak was on the phone. "Mr. O'Neill isn't here. Do you want to talk to Ms. Carter?" He looked up relieved to see her and handed the phone over immediately without waiting to hear whether the person on the other end wanted to talk to her or not.
"Ms. Carter, this is Ms. Blankenship. I'm a nurse in Dr. Janeway's office. May I ask when Mr. O'Neill will be returning."
Sam was uneasy immediately. She knew that Dr. Janeway was Sara O'Neill physician. "Mr. O'Neill is out of the state. He's asked me to take responsibility for Sara's care in his absence."
"I guess that's all right then," the nurse said, clearly uncomfortable with talking to someone she wasn't sure was authorized to handle the situation. "When Ms. O'Neill was here last week with Mr. O'Neill, we did some tests. Initially there didn't seem to be a cause for concern but the doctor has looked at them further and thinks it's important that he do some follow up blood work immediately. Could you bring Ms. O'Neill in today?"
"Of course, if that's really necessary. It's almost a two hour drive though. We won't be able to get there before about 5:00. Is that going to be all right," Sam asked, already thinking through the logistics.
"That will fine. We'll look for you then, Ms. Carter," the woman said, crisply and hung up.
Sam didn't want to try to drive and cope with Sara at the same time if she got into one of her vague states. Rather than take Chiona or Seline and leave the other one to cope with the baby and the three younger children, it seemed best to take Trina or Johnny. It suddenly seemed like a possible lucky opportunity to talk to Johnny if Sara slept as she probably would in the car. That is provided Johnny would be willing to stuff his hair under a hat and try to look inconspicuous. Sam had found that if she just wore really shapeless, frumpy looking clothes, no make up, and glasses with a hat jammed on her head, no one ever recognized her.
They walked across the footbridge off the little island and got the car out of the locked garage on the shore. Sam decided to ask Johnny to drive so she could deal with Sara. She was a little nervous about making the drive in the time she had given the nurse since she had definitely been shooting from the hip in estimating the time without any prior experience or real confidence as to where the doctor's office was. Despite her concern, she cautioned Johnny when he exceed the speed limit by more than 10 miles per hour. Shortly after they made it to the highway, they came up on a slow moving truck with traffic passing it in the fast lane. The rear end of the truck was getting closer and closer and Johnny wasn't slowing down at all. "Johnny, what are you doing?" she demanded, gripping the door handle.
"Mom, the brakes, they aren't doing anything," he said anguished. He switched to the fast lane and hit the horn to try to get the car ahead of them to move on around the truck but the driver just gave them the universal salute and continued to inch forward with respect to the truck. There was oncoming traffic and a guardrail on the right. They didn't have good options. "Oh my God," Sam said uselessly. If she had to be in an accident, it just couldn't be with her precious firstborn or Jack's beloved wife.
He was coming up on the truck at 65 miles per hour in a much smaller vehicle. Sara started to scream. No question who the loser of this contest was going to be. Abruptly she could see that the guardrail was ending as they finished crossing a small river. Johnny jerked the car to the right, off the highway, but slightly miscalculated in his timing. The end of the guardrail caught the back of the car and everything went out of control.
Once the highway patrol got Sam and Johnny out of the car, it was obvious that they were mostly shaken up and bruised by the air bags but Sara, befuddled and panicked, had taken her seatbelt off. Her neck was bent at an unnatural angle although she was still breathing. There was only one ambulance and the medics asked one of the state troopers to bring them to the hospital in his car. They suggested that both be more thoroughly checked out at the hospital but their current concern was obviously Sara.
Sam seemed to take forever to put it together and realize that she needed to call Jack. She took out her cell, dropping it twice. Johnny was chalky white. He kept repeating like a mantra, "She's got to be all right." Sam said, "We need to call Jack. He has to get here."
Johnny came out of his fugue enough to say, "It would probably be better to call Daniel, Mom. They're together. Let him handle this in person? Ok, Mom? And Mom, don't tell him I was driving. Not yet. Please."
Sam nodded and leaned back in the cracked leather seat of the patrol car to make the call. The ambulance had already taken off and they were waiting for the trooper to finish up whatever accident scene detail he was futzing with along with some other trooper and get them to the hospital. She called Daniel and he promised to get Jack there as fast as possible but that was still going to be hours and hours.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Jack had led men and women in all sorts of life threatening situations. He had seen personnel under his command be hit and die and gone on because he had to. Daniel had himself witnessed Jack's coolness under fire on more than one occasion and so was cut to the core to see that Jack was falling apart. Jack gratefully let Daniel make all the arrangements and shepherd him from Chicago to Minneapolis to the smaller town where the hospital was. Jack hardly said a word the entire time, his face an expressionless mask, but Daniel watched what his hands were doing, how they were gripping each other or the arms of his seat or crumpling a coffee cup.
Everything thwarted their need to get back quickly. There were flight problems and car problems. Daniel got pulled over for speeding and when the trooper recognized the celebrity driver, he seemed to take great satisfaction in demonstrating that fame had no effect on his ability to fairly and impartially enforce the law, thank you very much. Jack misplaced his cell phone somewhere along the way in his zombie like state and Daniel's went dead, something that never happened with the modern breed of cell phones but happened to him this time.
They charged into the emergency room with no idea of what Sara's status was, having been out of touch for over an hour. Johnny and Sam turned tear stained faces toward them as they entered. Johnny looked at his father with more genuine pain on his face than Daniel had seemed the self-possessed young man display since they had reestablished contact. Sam was in the midst of blowing her nose and appeared completely devastated.
Jack came to a complete halt. "How is Sara," he asked him a monotone, his hands clenched in fists at his sides.
Johnny and Sam gave each other what to Daniel was a telltale exchange of looks. Then it was Johnny who got up and came to Jack, not Sam, as Daniel would have expected. He grasped his father by the shoulders and said, "Dad, she didn't make it."
Jack looked at his son stonily. "You're wrong. You have to be wrong."
Johnny shook his head, sadly, and a tear started to trace its way down his cheek. Sam came forward then and said, softly, "It was about 45 minutes ago."
"Oh Dad, I'm so, so sorry," Johnny said brokenly and astounded Daniel by pulling his father into a one way hug. Jack didn't react but it seemed less to Daniel like a rejection of his son, than a rejection of all of reality.
Johnny let go of him then, stepped back, and said again, "I'm sorry. I wish it had been me," and then suddenly he turned on his heel and ran out down the corridor to the outside.
"I have to see her," Jack, the robot, said again.
Sam was obviously torn between helping Jack and going after Johnny but, in the end, led Jack to the room where her body still lay, unmoving like a broken doll on the white hospital bedding. Daniel shook his head at her when she started to go forward and pulled her back out of the room. It was 15 minutes or so before Jack emerged. He didn't speak to Sam and Daniel. He walked slowly, taking very deliberate steps, back toward the emergency room exit. Sam and Daniel flanked him. After a moment, Daniel put his arm around him. When he didn't shake it off, Sam did the same. Suddenly, his legs just buckled and he started to fall and grabbed on to them. They kept him upright and got him into an empty room. The three of them sat on the bare mattress. Daniel and Sam held on to Jack with both their arms from either side. Jack had an arm around Daniel and the other held Sam's head against his chest as he rested his cheek on the top of her head.
"We're here, as long as you need us, Jack. We love you," Daniel said his voice breaking. Sam whispered, "Yes." Jack said, "I know."

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Meriem Clayton

Life in the Fast Lane: Parking

Life in the Fast Lane: Parking

by Meriem Clayton

Summary: After years apart resulting from the problems caused by fame after the Stargate became public, Sam, Daniel, and Jack and their children have come together and forged new connections. Now partings must occur and Sam must choose. Alternate Sam/Daniel and Sam/Jack endings included.
Category: Drama, Romance
Season: Future Season
Pairing: Daniel/Sam, Jack/Sam, Jack/Sara, other pairing
Rating: 13+
Warnings: character death, minor language, sexual situations
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story was created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 07/23/05

Family trees for reference if it's been a while since you read the predecessor stories in the series:
Jack was married twice to Sara, now deceased; son Charlie from first marriage, now deceased
Sam and Jack were married and divorced in between his marriages to Sara; one son Johnny
Sam and Daniel were married and divorced after her marriage to Jack; one son Jake
Sam was married to Brad Smith and divorced after her marriage to Daniel; one son Jonas
Daniel was married to Iona (of Lisseth), now deceased; children are Chiona, Trina, Jak, and Tealk. Daniel adopted Iona's daughter Seline
Seline married Mindo, now deceased; one son Danny
Sam and Teal'c were married until very recently when he died; no children together
Jake Jackson and Seline are engaged.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sam's steps coming down the stairs were leaden as if her feet were so heavy that, once she lifted one, it had no choice but to slam back down immediately, overcome by gravity. She had been up for over 24 hours and every cell in her body craved sleep but it wasn't going to happen for a while longer. Jack was sleeping, thanks to sedatives she didn't dare take herself, and he wouldn't need anything for awhile. Now it was time to join the search for their missing son.
The police had not been helpful with Johnny's disappearance. At his age, it took a lot longer before they would act. When talking with them, their words were correct and polite but their nonverbal communication had screamed the message that they thought Johnny O'Neill was a self-indulgent rock star who had probably gone off to do drugs somewhere or indulge in some sort of orgy with willing groupies. The police were far more interested in asking questions related to the tampered brakes in Jack's car, the car that would have been on its way to a junkyard, totaled, if it hadn't been in some police holding area for evidence. The tampered brakes had killed Jack's wife, Sara, and come damn close to killing Sam and Johnny.
Sam was genuinely sorry for Sara's death, a sweet woman who had made Jack happy for years, and Sam was sure she'd cry for her at her funeral. Right now, though, what had her tied up in knots was the fact that Johnny had been driving the car and been the unwitting instrument of whoever had messed with the brakes. She had seen Johnny's face afterwards. She had heard him call his father `Dad' for the first time in at least 8 years. Sam imagined that a desperate need to make amends had been responsible for this little crumb of a concession. Unfortunately his father had been too numb at the time to even notice.
Chiona, Daniel's oldest daughter, stood at the bottom of the stairs, and when Sam reached the bottom step, Chiona said, urgently, "Are you going to look for Johnny? You have to let me come. He'll need me. He needs forgiveness but he won't be able to believe that his father can forgive him." Without her saying it, they both completed the thought to themselves, "Especially since Johnny has never been able to offer forgiveness to Jack." Suddenly Chiona looked stricken. "Jack will forgive him, won't he?" Sam rubbed her eyes. She leaned heavily against the banister, doubting her ability to keep standing unaided. "Oh, Chiona, of course, Jack will forgive him. As for looking for him, Daniel's already out looking, with no idea at all where to look. It's amazing. Johnny didn't have a car and he's famous. You wouldn't think he could have gotten very far without someone noticing him but last time I talked to your father, Daniel's come up empty." She laughed mirthlessly. "I have to admit the image of Daniel who hasn't operated a car in a decade or more driving all over Minnesota isn't maybe all that comfortable." She shook her head. "I don't know that my driving around aimlessly would help. I was thinking of getting ideas from Jake and Jonas as to people he might have contacted and making some calls." Her two younger two sons, one with Daniel and one with her third husband, were expanding their successful careers into film from rock star and television star respectively as they were making their first movie in the Mediterranean.
Sam noticed Seline, Daniel's stepdaughter, for the first time, standing close by, when she said, "I called Jake and told him what's going on. He said he was going to get with Jonas and make some calls so that's already happening." Sam looked at her gratefully. "Thanks Seline. I guess it hasn't paid off yet?" Seline grimaced. "From what Jake said, Johnny doesn't really have a lot of friends. Jake and Jonas think it much more likely that he's just gone into a hiding hole somewhere. We talked about whether they should come here but there's only a week of shooting left for Jake - Jonas has got a couple more - and there would be big contractual problems if either of them just took off. So, for now, they're just making calls and we'll see what state Johnny's in when we find him. Jake'll do whatever his brother needs, of course, but there's no point in making a huge amount of trouble if that really isn't going to help Johnny."
Chiona threw up her hands. "So what do we do?"
"I don't know," Sam said helplessly. "I just don't know. I can't remember when I last ate something. Let me get some food, just sit down a little. Maybe I'll have an inspiration." Inside her head, she wished intensely, for just a moment, that she was June Cleaver and that Ward would be here soon to take over all the big problems.
She started to move slowly toward the kitchen but impulsively turned back to Chiona. "I know you care about Johnny a lot and I really appreciate your willingness to help him anyway you can."
Chiona's face crumpled and, fighting tears, she made the first friendly gesture toward Sam to date, hugging her tightly for a minute and saying softly, "It will be all right. It has to be. I swore when my mother died, I wasn't losing anybody else." Sam nodded and went on to the kitchen. The two women came in behind her and insisted on fixing her something to eat and a cup of tea. She cross-examined them about what they had eaten and when. In the end, the three sat companionably sipping tea and nibbling at sandwiches while the morning light began to come in the window and the younger Jackson's and Seline's baby Danny slept on upstairs with the sedated and heartbroken Jack. Sam couldn't help but find some solace in the way that she, Teal'c, and her sons, Daniel and his children with Iona, and Jack and Sara had all come together since Daniel's return to form some sort of odd but warm extended family unit.
Suddenly, Seline held up her hand. Unlike the other two who didn't have little babies, part of her was always listening. "I think I hear someone coming." Heralded by her warning, the front door opened and the women listened as someone came in. All were hoping that it was more than one someone, that Daniel had returned with Johnny, but all secretly feared that he hadn't. They wanted to prolong the moment when there was hope as long as possible and no one moved.
Then a huge smile bloomed on Chiona's face. She alone faced the door. As the others turned to discover what she saw, she burst from her seat and ran across the room to throw her arms around Johnny and hold on like she would never let go. Johnny closed his eyes for a moment and seemed to be savoring the embrace but then he very gently disengaged her. "I'm all right, really," he reassured her.
Sam felt so good, not only to see Johnny, but also to see that he wasn't using the situation to take advantage of Chiona. In her relief at seeing him, Chiona had broken all the rules of her late mother's people on the far off planet where Daniel had raised his family. Johnny was the one who was taking the responsibility of remembering those rules now. Sam was disturbed to realize how low her trust of her son had fallen that she would even expect him to use the situation to manipulate the girl, who was still learning the ways of this planet.
Daniel emerged from behind Johnny, put his arm around his daughter, and pulled her away. The realization of what she had just done was breaking over her and she was clearly embarrassed. Daniel asked, "How's Jack?"
Sam shrugged. "We've both been there, right?" Grief for Teal'c washed over her again and she paused a moment. "I got him to take a sedative so he could get some sleep." She got out of her chair and crossed the kitchen to her son. "Johnny, he doesn't seem to know what's going on around him, not really. If he seemed distant to you at the hospital..."
Johnny made a dismissive gesture. "Don't worry about it, Mom." He raised anguished eyes to hers. "I'm really sorry if I worried you. Does..does he know that I was driving?"
Sam grabbed Johnny and held him tight. It was all so much easier when they were little and the problem was a skinned knee. "Johnny," she said, "Jack would never blame you for what some assassin did to the brakes. We probably would both be dead if I had been driving. You're younger. Your reflexes are faster." She pulled back and held him at arms' length, looking him over, taking in his exhaustion. "Take a sedative, honey. I wouldn't ordinarily endorse it, but you need rest. Everything will look different after you've had some sleep."
Johnny shook his head. "I doubt it but I don't think I can remain standing much longer." He turned to leave the kitchen, his mother with her arm around his waist. "Daniel, thanks for coming after me."
"Sure, Johnny," Daniel said softly.
Then Johnny added, in what would have seemed like an after thought if not for the deep feeling in his voice. "Chiona, thanks for worrying about me." He and Sam went slowly upstairs.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Jack got up mid-morning and sat in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee, and sending out a serious "leave me be" message. This was a different man than the one that had allowed Sam and Daniel to hold him at the hospital. Mayborne, his black lab, was the only one allowed to offer physical comfort. He lay next to Jack, his head resting on his foot. Jack announced that he was going fishing. Daniel's Jak went to stand by him and asked, with uncharacteristic shyness, if he could come too. The offer brought a very slight smile to Jack's face and he accepted.
Daniel and Sam sat together at the same kitchen table that afternoon. Jack and Jak had come in to escape the midday sun and get some lunch and gone out again. Looking out the window they could see the boat and the man and the boy out on the water. Daniel, with a slightly concerned expression, observed, "I don't think a sport where being quiet is important is designed for my boy."
Sam put a hand on Daniel's where it rested on the table and squeezed slightly. "Your children seem to be very good at picking up on people's moods and adjusting their behavior to fit. He's the best medicine we have for Jack right now."
Daniel looked at her hand on his and had to fight very hard not to shake it off as if it was a leech or a poisonous snake. He had to get away from her or he would succumb again. His children needed a stepmother who loved their father so that she could come to love them as her own. He didn't want to hurt Sam but he had to get her to back off. Lately, she seemed to find more and more reasons to touch him. Instead of taking her hand away, she scooted her chair closer. "Terrific," he thought. Searching for a way to throw some cold water on the situation, he said, "So how's your work, Sam?"
The question had the desired effect. She sighed heavily and moved her hand away. "I probably don't have any any more. I've just been treading water since you came back. For the last five years I've been doing research in conjunction with a sort of think tank in California. When you came back and Manifest Destiny reared its head, I turned my grants over to other people." Manifest Destiny was their name for the doctrine a powerful group was trying to put into place that would give the Tauri permission to take whatever they needed from more primitive planets by force if necessary. "Since then, I been reading journal articles, doing some work on papers I had begun but basically standing still. I worked SO hard to reestablish my scientific career after I took time out when the children were babies and I was successful, which when considering my age by then, was sort of amazing. But now..." she trailed off.
"But now what?"
"I don't know. I wonder how important it really is. I made a LOT of money off my autobiography and I was smart about investing that and what I made off some of the other more commercial things I did during my `basking in the limelight' days. It isn't money that's kept me working the last few years..." She looked up from the patterns she was tracing on the table, noticing that she had unconsciously doodled something rather disturbing. She casually dragged her napkin forward and changed the topic. "Daniel, how dangerous do you think it's gotten for our families? I keep thinking about the brakes."
Daniel said, "Somehow I think the brakes weren't the work of the big boys behind Manifest Destiny but rather some enthusiastic amateur that happens to agree with the powerbrokers we're fighting. I mean, anyone of us could have been in the car, could have been killed. If it had been one of my younger kids or, like it was, Sara, the result would be just as likely to win us public sympathy and make our position stronger as hurt it."
They both sat quietly for awhile, each in his own, not particularly happy, thoughts. Sam stood up and carried her mug to the sink and rinsed it out. Daniel followed with his. Each moved in the opposite direction than the other anticipated and suddenly she was full up against him. His treacherous body immediately responded and she knew it. She turned very quickly, before he could make himself move away, and put her arms around his neck. "I don't know why you have to pretend you are indifferent to me when so clearly aren't," she said, looking very sad. Daniel didn't want to have this conversation, ever actually, but certainly not now in the middle of Jack's kitchen with people all over the house.
The wisdom of that judgment was immediately proven when Johnny's voice came from the doorway. "What is it with you, Daniel? My dad needs her. Do you just want everything that's his because he's more of a man than you'll ever be?"
Daniel was truly disappointed that the brief period of Johnny appearing to join the ranks of considerate human beings was already at an end. He started to move away from Sam but her arms tightened around his neck and she said, with more anger than he had heard in her voice toward any of her sons, "You are so far out of line, Johnny, and on so many levels. Your dad was married to Sara for over, I don't know, 35 years total. He was married to me for one. It's going to be a long time before he's ready, if ever, to think about another woman in his life. You think wives are like horses? You wear one mount out and you immediately switch to another?" Her voice got even stronger as she warmed to the subject. "You make it sound like he has some prior claim on me. I'm not part of a harem, Johnny." She took her eyes off her son and looked at Daniel. "Your words to Daniel are despicable and totally undeserved. Have you already forgotten how he was there for you last night?"
Johnny made a sound something like a growl and strode away. Again Daniel tried to move away from Sam. "Wait a minute, Daniel, because I have something to say to you too."
Daniel found himself regretting the loss of invisibility. "I don't want hear it Sam. No matter how long it takes for Jack to get over Sara, there'll be a part of you patiently waiting. I don't work for a temp agency." He, rather roughly, removed her arms and went out the back door onto the porch at the rear of the house.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When Jake arrived, severely jet lagged, the day after his shooting ended, he found a different house than the noisy, happy one he had left. Baby Danny seemed to be the only smiling, laughing human in the neighborhood. The youngest Jacksons, Trina, Tealk, and Jak, were very quiet and subdued, as if they were afraid that any noise would set something off. The second day Jake was back, Jack said a total of 12 words from the time he appeared for his coffee until he went to his room at night. Jake was counting. Jack spent the daylight hours out of the house, mostly fishing. If he wasn't fishing, he was hiking through the woods. Jak was with him most of the time. The dog trailed along behind both of them and had elevated Jak to junior Jack status.
Johnny sat playing his guitar absently and watching his father and Jak from the porch when they were in view out on the water. He did not ask to go along. Jake watched the dynamic for a couple of days and began to understand. Jack didn't invite Jak or the dog. They invited themselves and he allowed their presence. Johnny couldn't do that. He had to know he was welcome before he exposed himself to rejection. Jack would gather up his gear and be leaving and Johnny would be there, waiting for something to which Jack was oblivious. Jake almost thought Jack didn't really perceive the rest of them as more than shadows. What was real was a lovely woman, laughing, walking by side him in his head.
Jake's father was very abstracted. When Daniel wasn't teaching his children or doing his daily run and exercises, he was buried in a book or absorbed in something on his laptop. Jake realized almost immediately that this was especially true if his mother was anywhere around. Daniel was almost rude in his patent desire not to interact with Sam.
Johnny was, in contrast, blatantly rude in his behavior toward Daniel. Chiona knew he was hurting and clearly was trying to make allowances but every time he was nasty to Daniel, she struck back because Daniel's method of handling it was to ignore Johnny. Johnny always gave as good as he got so there was no comfort coming from that relationship for either of them.
His mother and Seline both seemed to be dominated by worrying about everyone else, trying to smooth things over. Seline had been busy over the last few months learning to cook with Tauri food and Tauri kitchen equipment and kept coming up with marvelous meals and delicious baked goods. The younger children clearly enjoyed them but the adults she was trying to comfort showed as much interest in the food as they would in eating sawdust.
Sam was absolutely delighted to see Jake, almost as delighted as Jake's fianc, Seline, although obviously for different reasons. At last Sam had reinforcements for the little team she had formed with Seline. There was no need to send Jake into a phone booth with a self-destructing tape player. He saw his mission immediately and accepted it without any explicit briefing.
Johnny shot Jake down before he could even get his troops off the beaches. The carnage was complete. Jake first tried to talk to his brother about the upcoming tour for the band. Johnny had always been much more firmly in control than their manager, Troy, who frequently complained about being a figurehead and a thinly disguised gofer. Johnny said Troy was making the arrangements and didn't seem interested in even speculating about what those would be. Then Johnny started in on Daniel and Jake had to defend his father. Johnny decided that Jake had gone over to the dark side and that was the end of that. Jake realized, bemused, that Johnny had transferred at least some of his obsessive protectiveness from Jake to Jack. It wasn't pretty when watched from the outside, Jake realized, and thought about Phoebe and all the others who had tried to talk to him about Johnny over the years.
Daniel was delighted to spend time with his son and Daniel and Jake had wonderful long conversations about all sorts of things as long as Jake didn't bring up any of the dynamics with the people around them. Jake loved talking about Lisseth. Daniel didn't try to make it out to be perfect any more than Seline did but Jake was beginning to think he could be happy there. He discovered, to his surprise, that the customs about restricting contact between men and women were suspended when it came to practicing martial arts. The motivation for the women as well as the men of the Blue People to be ready to kick ass was tremendous. Daniel, Seline, Chiona, and the children drew him into their near daily training sessions and, after a couple of pairings with Seline, he knew the wedding date was going to have to be moved up.
With a 2 for 2 loss record in the relationship repairing department, Jake turned with a complete lack of confidence to Jack. He asked Jak to stay home one morning and he attached himself to Jack as he headed toward the water. "You don't mind if I come along, do you?" he asked his stepfather. Jack didn't say anything which Jake took as a not minding. They got in the boat and Jake said, "I've never done this before. Can you show me what to do?" No response was forthcoming again.
Jake picked up a rod and reel and began messing with it, making no effort at all to understand it. He hoped that would get a response. When he had it hopelessly fouled up, Jack took it away from him and spoke for the first time. "Just watch."
Those were the last words he was able to get out of Jack for the next two hours. He began to talk about Johnny, about his concern for him but he was getting nothing back. This was actually so like dealing with Johnny himself when he was a fugue state that Jake mentally reviewed what had worked for him over the years with his brother and came up with a plan. He stood up and started rocking the boat back and forth. Jack, startled by this incompetent boating behavior, yelled, "Damn it. Stop that and sit down."
Jake didn't stop or sit down and managed to capsize the boat in just a few more moments. The water was very cold and he came up gasping, but in no danger of drowning since it was only about 5 feet deep. "You idiot!" Jack barked at him. "Are you here in the world with me and listening now?" Jake asked. Jack made a half lunge at him in the water but was too weighted down by his clothes to be very effective. "Everyone says to leave you alone with your grief. Poor Jack. That would be just fine if you were the only one who was hurting."
Jack was now looking at him like he was crazy and spat out, "I'm not having this conversation." He began to move toward the capsized boat.
The younger, and stronger, man, clamped down on his arm and said, "Oh but you are. Johnny is a mess. He feels guilty because he was driving. He needs you to forgive him and he has no idea how to ask for that. You've been in battles before. You stop and lose focus over the body of a fallen man you might lose others who are still alive and under your leadership." Jake was rather proud of himself for that analogy. One of the things he had been talking with Daniel about had been the exploits of SG-1 and he used that new knowledge. "You've got a chance to reclaim Johnny. Anger is the flip slide of love. He hasn't been indifferent to you all these years. He's been angry. If you keep pushing him away, he'll get angry again in self defense." He let go of Jack's arm and struck out to the boat and began to struggle with uprighting it. Jack joined him and they completed the recovery process without any more conversation.
Jack was silent the rest of the afternoon and evening but it was with a difference. His eyes weren't looking into some internal distance. They were watching. He observed Johnny's unhappiness and the tension between Johnny and virtually everyone else except little Tealk who seemed to be able to occasionally get a smile. Jake could tell he also picked up on the fact that there was something very wrong between Jake's mother and father. He was clearly assessing the terrain and making plans although the others didn't really seem to pick up on it as Jake did.
Jonas found a less depressing scenario when he arrived the next day than the one that had met Jake. It was still quiet and there was still tension but when he asked where Johnny and Jack were, Trina pointed toward the water and he saw two men fishing, one with long blonde hair pulled back out of harm's way and the other, straight and military in his bearing.
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The first song from "We Die Free"'s new album took off immediately and with it the entire DVD. There was enormous public sympathy for Jack O'Neill because of his wife's tragic death which didn't hurt his son, Johnny's band. Fundamentally, though, it was wonderful song. Jake and Johnny's collaboration with Chiona and Seline added wonderful new dimensions to the already excellent band. The video began the narrative that was to run through the project with an evocative look at two young lovers from very different places just beginning to notice each other. Seline may not have had Jake's acting experience but all she to do was let her true feelings for him show.
At the last minute, Johnny had taken control of the tour back from Troy who complained mightily but was actually relieved. Troy had gotten rather used to taking a lot of money for a lot less work. Johnny then reorganized things so that they could go back to Minnesota every week or so to give him time with his dad. Jack was gratified but bewildered about what to do with the sudden solicitude from Johnny.
"You know, Daniel, the kid acts like he hates me for years. He doesn't care what happens to me. Now he's really trying to manage my life," Jack said in an uncharacteristic exploration of feelings. Jack was now enough himself that he had resumed his relationships with Sam and Daniel instead of holding everyone but children and dogs at arms length.
"Um, I'll comment on that in a moment, but I seem to be all snarled up here again," Daniel complained mildly, holding out his fishing rod to Jack.
"You just don't the slightest natural aptitude for this do you?" Jack said correcting the problem and handing the rod back.
Daniel ignored the matter of fact insult and returned to the earlier topic. "Jake is really relieved. He never knew what being his own man felt like before."
"I noticed there is something, well actually hostile, between Johnny and Jake at the moment. What's going on?" Jack said.
"You really don't know?" Daniel asked.
"Ya think? I absolutely hate it when people say, `You really don't know?' If I did know, why the hell would I be asking the question? It's your way of pointing out that you think I'm an idiot."
"You are, you know. All those years that Sam was panting for you and you didn't even notice or do a damn thing."
"What are we going to talk about next? String theory? How to make a good, dry martini? That has nothing to do with anything, Daniel," Jack said, irritated.
"Actually it does, sort of. Johnny has decided that you and Sam need to be together again. It ties everything up in a neat package for him. Problem is, he sees me as the bad guy, the reason you aren't together, now or years ago. Jake's defending me." Daniel shrugged. It's sort of crazy. You and I aren't fighting about it but our sons are."
"My...wife...just...died," Jack said as if that answered everything.
"I know. Sam actually told Johnny that he was acting like wives were horses. The one you're riding gets worn out, you just put your saddle on another one."
Jack looked askance at Daniel. "She didn't."
"Close anyway. Look, Jack, I want to go back to Lisseth. There are plenty of people now carrying the torch for respecting the sovereignty of Lisseth and like worlds. I am not making that much difference. Things have been left hanging there way too long. I've been hearing from Stargate Command on practically a weekly basis. They want me back there since the Blues won't allow any Tauri on planet if I'm not there to watch them. The problem is Chiona and Trina. I think they need to stay here. With their education and experiences they would have problems findings husbands and fitting in but I haven't worked out how yet."
"And Sam wouldn't be there."
Daniel smiled crookedly and cast with completely ineffective vehemence. "Exactly."
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It was still making Johnny crazy watching Chiona day after day but not being able to do anything about it. He'd issued his ultimatum and she had opted not to comply. How he wished he hadn't subsequently heard her tell her sister that she loved him and that if he had merely told her that he loved her, she might have been unable to resist the temptation to break the taboos that had been drummed into her from birth. A hundred times a day he pictured doing exactly that. He'd get her to the suite Jake and he typically shared when Jake was with Seline and Danny. He'd pull her down to sit with him on the couch.
"Seline, I hate that things have been so difficult between us and it's all been my fault." This was always a good idea with women, to admit that it was your fault even if you were damn sure it was theirs.
She would protest. "Oh no, Johnny, it's my fault too."
He would change the subject, showing his generosity of spirit. "That doesn't matter, Chiona. What matters is that we can't go on like this. I love." He'd make it be like something he blurted out without thinking and cut himself off in the middle.
"You love what? What are you saying, Johnny," Chiona would ask him, hope shining in her eyes.
He would sigh. "I love you, Chiona. There I've said it. You can laugh at me or try to let me down easy."
Of course, she would say something like, "Oh Johnny, I love you too."
Then he would be very diffident, make it clear he didn't want to make her do something she didn't want to do. "Could, could I kiss you just once. I can't sleep at nights thinking about just kissing you." He was having trouble sleeping at nights but it wasn't from thinking about merely kissing her. He was thinking about taking her in every possible position there was to take a woman. He was thinking about putting his mark on her so thoroughly that she never wanted another man. She was an inexperienced virgin. In his fantasies, he taught her to be exactly the woman he wanted in his bed. So, at that point in his imagined scenario, she acquiesced to just one kiss. It was like the only kiss they had shared so far and left her shaky, just as that one had. Except now that she had his avowal of love, she wouldn't stop him. He would keep kissing her and begin touching her. She would arch against him and he would pick her up and take her into the bedroom and it would be soooo good.
Except something kept stopping him. Something that made him worry that when it was all over, she wouldn't be the same any more. He didn't understand himself but he couldn't get past it.
One evening in Atlanta, he was alone in the suite at the Hyatt-Regency on Peachtree, reading a very interesting book on the physics of the Stargate. Of course, he had told the last interviewer that asked him what he read that he was in the midst of a fascinating graphic novel not a physics tome. Johnny and Jake were both brilliant, genetics didn't allow otherwise, but both had learned long ago to conceal the things that they read and thought about. Johnny had turned his back on the little blonde boy with glasses and voracious intellectual hunger. That little boy got teased way too much.
There was a knock on the door. He didn't even look up. Fans found ways to get to his suite, no matter what phony names he and Jake used to register or what other subterfuges they employed. The knock came again and this time, a familiar voice called out, "Johnny, it's me. I know you're in there."
He shoved the book under the couch cushion and went to the door, opening it with the chain in place just to be sure. He then immediately swept the chain off and opened the door wide. Chiona walked in, not only wearing the Tauri blue jeans she had become comfortable with but a form fitting top that hugged her full figure and had a rather revealing neckline. He couldn't remember her ever wearing anything like that before.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked. "I mean, are you busy, or anything?"
"I wasn't doing anything in particular," he responded, searching for a clue as to what was going on.
She sat down on the couch and waited for him to join her. "Things have been really, well awkward, lately with us, haven't they?" What could he say? He nodded.
"The thing is, I love Danil. He's a wonderful father and I can't let anyone attack him. But, I've thought about it, and I don't want him with your mother any more than you do. She's nicer than I thought she'd be but she still can only make him unhappy. There are at least three widows back at camp that I think would be much better for him."
"Uh huh," said Johnny, definitely feeling out of his depth.
"So, if you could just back off being insulting to my dad, we could work together. It doesn't have to keep being a problem between us."
"So, is that why you came?" Johnny asked. He didn't feel in control of the situation yet.
"Only partly. Danil thinks that, well that, Trina and I ought to stay here. That we've become too educated, too full of questions to be a comfortable wife for most of the men on Lisseth and there really isn't much room for a woman who doesn't marry. He thinks we would be happier here. Trina's all with the program. She would miss us but she is just salivating at the thought of studying in a major university and spending her life doing scientific research."
She paused studying her hands. Johnny prompted, "But what about you?"
"I've thought about doing something with the music. That's exciting. But there's so much more to being a Tauri woman."
Suddenly Johnny realized where this was heading. He felt completely panicked and equally amazed at his reaction. Seline moved closer so that their bodies were touching. And then, sucking in a breath first as if she was about to endure some sort of pain, she leaned over and kissed him. She clearly remembered everything that he had done in their first kiss, because she gave it all back along with some variations she had apparently thought up in the meantime. It was incredibly hot and tempting but by the time it ended, he knew he had to derail her apparent seduction attempt.
"Chiona, this isn't right. You don't want this." He smoothed her hair back gently.
"Don't you tell me what I want," she said furiously. "Do you have any idea how long it's taken me to psych myself up to do this?"
"That's just the point, honey. You shouldn't have to psych yourself up to it. This isn't a shot or an operation."
"Why should you care? You get what you want," she flung at him, still angry but tearing up.
"Chiona, I love you and I don't want to hurt you or make you something that you are not," he heard himself saying to his own utter amazement. "You were raised thinking this is wrong. You'd hate me and yourself before it was over."
"Wait just a minute here," she said, "Did you just say that you love me?"
"I know you love me Chiona. I heard you telling Seline. You told her if I would just tell you I loved you, I could probably have you but don't you see, if I did love you, I wouldn't want it that way."
"Johnny, you've known this for weeks. For weeks, you could have run a number on me, isn't that how you say it?" she asked, temporarily sidetracked.
"If you were born way last century maybe," he answered her, amused.
"You could have told me you loved me and had what you wanted but you didn't," she was working it out aloud and ended triumphantly, "Because you really DO love me and you couldn't hurt me!"
"Oh Johnny," she groaned, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him again. And he kissed her and it went on at the junior high make out stage for a long time, Johnny resolutely keeping his hands from wandering.
"We have to stop, Chiona," he said thickly, pulling her away from him. Her eyes were slits, her breasts were visibly heaving in the deep cleavage of her soft green top, her nipples pushing against the fabric, and her full lips were swollen from his kisses. He felt a little like accounts of people who have near death experiences and see themselves from above. This wasn't him, was it?
"So, if we stop, what comes next?" she gasped.
"Jake is supposed to follow my lead, not the other way around but I suppose the boy does occasionally have a good idea." He pulled the ring off his little finger and asked, "You do know what this means, if I give you a ring?"
"Do I look like fell off a mount on my head recently?" she asked.
"Huh?"
She punched him. "Don't be deliberately dense. Maybe that isn't how a Tauri woman would say it, but you understand me."
"Will you take it? Will you marry me?" he asked.
"We have to ask Danil and Jack," she said.
"Say what?" he protested.
"If they think this is what I want, they'll say yes. But that's the way it works."
"I understand about the tradition of asking the girl's father for her hand but what has Jack got to do with it? Jake just talked to Daniel when he asked Seline?" Johnny was suddenly seeing himself as the subject of a Cosmo article, "10 Things To Know When Proposing to An Alien."
"That's because Daniel IS Jake's father, as well as Seline's stepfather," Chiona said in a "do I need to draw you a diagram tone of voice." "It's important for both families to accept the marriage."
"Okay, whatever. Daniel and my dad aren't here," Johnny said, stating the obvious. He took in her unyielding expression. "Fine, when we see them this weekend, I ask."
She smiled, stood, kissed him lightly and left. Johnny was left to review what had happened. It had been a humbling experience for a control freak but he had to admit that, on balance, he had rather liked it.
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Jack and Daniel were standing on either side of the steps on the front porch leaning against the post. Looking at them together like this, Sam was so struck by the yin and the yang of them. Jack's posture was relaxed, his expression slightly sardonic. He was at rest the way a rattlesnake might be. Very still but very ready. Daniel was all energy and intensity. He was explaining something that mattered to him which could be any number of things. The man's capacity to care about so many people and causes and to be enthusiastic about all manner of ideas, was huge. Daniel was running on, as Daniel did, and Jack was speaking only occasionally, very economically, as Jack did.
She thought about them as lovers then, about how the contrast continued even in the bedroom. Both were wonderful but you'd never confuse them in the dark. Jack had conquered her body while Daniel had worshipped it. She and Jack had enjoyed some of their most memorable moments starting out wrestling. Sometimes she had wanted to win in the beginning but in the end she longed to lose, to have him pin her beneath him. Daniel didn't go in for mock fighting. He was the master of the innovative romantic gesture, of putting her in the mood with something so sweet, or poetic, or erotically suggestive, and then letting it pervade her for hours before he made it into a physical reality that never failed to measure up to the expectations that had been building inside of her.
She could never stop loving both of them but she had to pick one. She laughed at herself a little, the arrogance of that. Her decision would be the beginning of a campaign that she had no assurance of winning. While once hers for the taking, that day had passed with both of them. She played scenario after scenario out in her head but all the while she knew, from the benefit of having lived so much longer than her sons, that real life never followed the script.
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If you prefer a Sam/Jack ending, do a search for Sam/Jack. That alternate ending follows this one.
Sam/Daniel alternate ending
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Sam made her choice, really the only choice that had even a prayer of success. Now she needed her oft lauded brilliance to convince her choice to choose her back. At the moment, the Nobel Prize, for which she had been whispered to once have been nominated, seemed easier. As she had so many years ago when she had won her life back from self-loathing, she wrote out a plan and critiqued it from every direction. Then one sunny morning, she executed the opening gambit.
Jack was perfectly willing to go for a walk with her, no questions asked. Sam had been very careful to time her invitation and their stroll away from the house for a window of time when she thought Daniel wouldn't see them. It was not an auspicious sign when, in fact, Daniel appeared when she didn't expect him to and saw her walk away with Jack. She told herself that it was her fears that caused her to see hurt or bitterness briefly flash across his face.
They walked through the beautiful day, still early enough for things to have a fresh look to them. A tiny breeze tugged at them in occasional little bites, fluttering the loose shirts they each wore over t-shirts. One or the other occasionally commented on the beauties of nature that came up very close to Jack's home. They didn't really try to have a conversation, just to share the morning.
Sam stole a look at the handsome, oh so handsome, man walking beside her. Dear Jack. He might still not be an old man physically but she could see the old soul in his eyes. Sam was positive he had entered the phase of life when more than anything he wanted peace. He wanted to see his son and, someday, his grandchildren take over the doing while he offered support and advice instead. If he ever married again, he would want quiet companionship. With the ever present company provided by his memories of Sara, Sam doubted that he actually needed a flesh and blood woman in the role.
Sam wasn't at the peaceful stage yet. She still wanted passion and challenge and increasingly, while she always felt a surge of affection when she looked at Jack, she felt a surge of something else when she looked at Daniel. The problem was that the only chance she had with Daniel was to make him believe that she didn't love Jack at all. She couldn't do it.
They reached the point, walked to the edge of the water, and sat down. Each removed their shoes and they dangled their feet in the cool water. Abruptly, without preamble, she blurted out, "I need your help, Jack, with Daniel." So much for her plan. Once again, life didn't follow its script.
"Ya think?" he asked. He picked up a handful of pebbles and sorted through them for flat ones, not making eye contact with her. "You and Daniel have had something ugly going on for a while. Is it my boy's doing?"
"Johnny?" It wasn't the way she saw it and for a moment she was puzzled.
"Yeah, Johnny. Daniel said that Johnny wants you and me together and has been busy warning Daniel off." Jack still hadn't found a stone that satisfied him. "Don't tell me that you're not aware of it?"
Sam sighed. "I almost wish I was. I was present for one unpleasant incident.
"Sam," Jack said slowly. "You know how much I care about you and there was a time, when it was white hot, but I'm tired. My life has been on the balance, very good, but I've had enough drama. I'm not arrogant enough to assume you agree with Johnny but if there's any chance that you might have ..., be thinking. I don't want to hurt you, ever."
"Oh, Jack," she said softly. "I could be happy with you I think but I agree that our time has passed. Thanks for caring about how I might be feeling."
He didn't answer but chose to instead say irritably, "How hard can it be for there to be a decent flat rock. That kid of ours must have thrown them all in the water over the years. He used to do that for hours sometimes when he visited me here."
Sam laughed a little. "I don't think I ever saw him do that, even once. There's got to be some." She began to pick through those on her other side from Jack.
After a bit and an amazing continued dearth of flat stones, Jack said, "It must be very aggravating to have Johnny warning the two of you not to do something that you weren't doing." Sam watched his face during the comment and she knew, all of a sudden, she knew that he knew.
He grinned. "There are two ways to take that. Maybe you're here talking to me because the really annoying part is that you AREN'T doing anything?"
Sam nodded grateful that she wasn't going to have to say it. They brainstormed for over an hour. Sam went over her plan and Jack threw it out summarily, pointing out a number of elements he said were too elaborate. What they finally came up with was crazy but they both rather liked it.
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Johnny, Jake, Chiona, and Seline were doing concerts. Jonas was off, doing personal appearances for his show and sneaking in as much anti-Manifest Destiny arguments as he could in the process, and the children were asleep. Mayborne lay, twitching occasionally, but quiet on the mat at the back door. The only sound was the creak of the porch swing where Jack and Daniel sat with Sam between them. The swing wasn't that big and they were definitely sharing the space. Each held a beer and there was a cooler at their feet.
It was a beautiful night and the memories of decades before had been flowing freely. People they had met light years away, jokes they had shared, close brushes with death, had all ebbed and flowed in their memories as one and then the other took up the narrative. They sat now in a lull, each sunk in a particular memory, savoring their own special image. Sam put her now empty bottle down, shook her head, and asked, "Can you imagine how stunned we would have been if we could have seen into the future, any time during those years, to this moment?"
"What's stunning? We're sitting together drinking beer." Jack said. "We might have thought it was stunning that we never came up with anything else to do."
Sam rolled her eyes. She definitely seemed little tipsy. She put an arm around each of them. "Not what I meant. Pay attention boys. We're sitting here NOW but we are sitting here with a history. I mean, we wouldn't ever have considered this." Without any more preamble, she leaned over and kissed Daniel full on the mouth. It started out as a quick kiss, but it seemed like she got trapped in it. Daniel forgot for a moment - he had had a few beers too -- that they had an audience and that he WASN'T going to ever be with Sam again and went to the DEFCON 5 of kisses. She looked a little dizzy when they broke it off. "Wow," she said. "Wow." But then she seemed to shake herself, realize where she was, and the need for equal time.
"Or this," she said resuming her early teasing tone, and turned to Jack. He raised his hands to fend her off but she blew past his protest and kissed him on the mouth in turn. It didn't last very long. Jack and Sam looked at each other in a sort of mutual amazement. "It used to be a lot better than that, didn't it?" Sam asked?
"Kind of like kissing your sister," Jack agreed.
"Maybe you were just off your game," Sam said.
"Or you were," Jack said a little testily. Daniel was watching bemused. Did either of them remember that he was there?
"Scientifically, I would say we should try to reproduce the experimental results," Sam said, trying to sound professional but only succeeding in sounding a little pie eyed.
They leaned toward each other warily, rather as if they were expected to get a strong static electricity discharge from each other. They both seemed to put a little more effort into the kiss than the previous time but broke apart with the same unmoved expressions. "No point in beating that horse any more," Jack said. "I think he got sent to the glue factory." He stood up. "I feel about 200 years old now. I think I'll go to bed."
Sam reached up to him. "Hey, Jack, we were both there. It's doesn't mean you've lost your touch. It's just..."
"Right. Enjoy the evening, kiddies," Jack said, gesturing toward the moon and its gleaming reflection on the water. He went in the house and closed the door firmly behind him.
"Sam," Daniel asked, not really expecting to get a helpful answer, "What just went on there?"
"I guess I just got a sort of an answer, if I was still even asking the question." She stood up and held out her hands. "Come here."
"Why?" Daniel didn't know what game she was playing but warning bells were going off somewhere deep in his brain.
"Damn it, for once in your life, do something without trying to understand it," she said, her seductive tone totally inconsistent with her faintly waspish words.
She leaned down then and picked up the hands he hadn't offered and tugged. Daniel let himself be drawn to a standing position. Only then did he realize that her legs had been braced far apart and he had managed to stand up so that she was almost straddling him with her thighs. She let go of his hands and put one arm around his neck. The other she dropped to his waist and then she slipped a slender finger in the waistband of his jeans and ran it around to the front. At that point, he captured her hand and pulled it around behind her back. He found himself then using that leverage point to pull her into him. Hadn't he originally taken her hand away from his jeans to cool things down? He was aware that he was not really on top of things but mostly didn't care. She was so seductively curved, so deliciously scented, so perfect for the ache that threatened to consume him. And then she moved her other hand down from his neck and ran it up under his shirt. He had to stop her, didn't he? While he was trying to ponder the question, he found he was fixating on her mouth. She licked her lips and then she eased into him and ran the same tongue over his. He managed to keep his mouth firmly closed. Somehow that seemed like the Maginot Line now. Breech that and all would be lost. She whispered against his mouth, "Let me in, Daniel, let me in."
"Uhuh," he moaned through his closed lips.
"Please, please, let me in," she pleaded. She pulled the hand he had behind her back free and reached around and grabbed his backside hard. "Let me in."
Daniel finally couldn't resist any longer but his last coherent thought was, "This time I'm not going to be needy. This time I'm going to take the lead, at least sometimes." He dropped his glasses on the swing, slid his hands under her thighs and her backside and lifted her. He took a few steps to back her against one of the columns that held up the porch as she wrapped her legs around him. He trailed one hand up her body to thread his hand into her hair. He kissed her eyes and neck and brushed his mouth teasingly across hers.
"Please," she gasped.
He said very, very softly, "Say it first."
"I love you, Danny. I love you." He smiled brilliantly and she was lost in it when his mouth finally came down on hers.
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"We Die Free's" music shaped hearts and minds in the same way that "Uncle Tom's Cabin" made people sit up and take notice, at last, that slaves were real people who felt the same pain as everyone else. Ugly rumors appeared immediately, encouraged by the Manifest Destiny cabal. The most popular ones were that Danny was Daniel's child and that the two brothers were sharing the two stepsisters. The vast majority of people either didn't believe the rumors or were, secretly, titillated by them. No one stopped buying the music. When Jake, Seline, Johnny, and Chiona came home from their week's worth of concert dates, everything seemed to be coming together to say the battle has been won, at least for now.
Chiona and Johnny had not said anything to anyone. Jake and Seline were so wrapped up in each other and Danny that they hadn't noticed either. The drummer and the bassist were just glad Johnny was easing off on his usual perfectionist, pain in the ass, bullshit and didn't care why. Chiona wasn't surprised by this obliviousness but fully expected her father to immediately smell something. His protectiveness of his children had been a constant for her entire life.
When they arrived, she found her father working with her three youngest siblings on their lessons. They were actually sitting at the kitchen table which struck her a little funny. It seemed they picked up Tauri ways just about when they were going to not need them any more. The return to Lisseth nagged at the back of her mind and she actively feared the decision she and Johnny would have to make.
Danil looked up and smiled so wide and with so much joy at seeing Chiona that, for a moment, she was a little girl again and Dei could fix all her problems. Briefly, she wondered whether she could really be happy with someone so unlike her father, so unlike the man she had admired above all others her whole life. He quickly stood and hugged her and then, continuing to hold her in his arms, he looked into her face after looking quickly at Johnny behind her. "Are you happy, honey?" he asked her in Blue. "Was everyone good to you?" He searched her face a little anxiously.
"Oh, Dei," she said laughing a little. "Very good." Switching to English, she asked, "Is Jack around?"
"Why do you need Jack," Jak asked, joining the conversation with keen interest.
"None of your business, little one," Chiona said, dismissively.
"Why do you need Jack?" her father asked and he couldn't be dismissed.
"Johnny and I need to talk with you and Jack," Chiona admittedly slowly, knowing that her father would immediately put two and two together.
Danil actually gasped and dropped in a chair. Tealk and Jak were fascinated by Danil's uncharacteristic behavior. Tealk asked, "Are you okay, Dei?"
By then, Jak had figured it out and said, condescendingly, to his younger brother, "Chiona and Johnny are getting married and they have to ask for permission." He looked at his big sister and tacked on, triumphantly, "Right?"
Danil had found his voice and asked, rather hoarsely, "Are you sure?"
"Dei, we have to find Jack first," Chiona said insisting on tradition but mainly nervous and wanting to buy a little time.
Danil becoming more composed, said, "We really should find Sam too." This wasn't required of course but a nice gesture. Chiona was mildly surprised, given what she had last seen going on between Sam and Danil. Tealk popped up and volunteered to find Sam. Jak accepted the mission for locating Jack.
In a manner of moments everyone was assembled. They took over the kitchen and the children were sent outside under Jake and Seline's watchful eye to prevent peeking in windows. Chiona noticed that when Sam came in, she went immediately to Danil's side and they stood very close together but there was no time to think about that now. Johnny put his arm around Chiona and looked, rather helplessly at her. "I have absolutely no idea what we're supposed to do, you know."
Chiona nodded and said, "Dei, Jack, Johnny and I want to get married and we would like your permission." Then she looked at Johnny as if to say, "How hard was that?"
Danil switched to their language again. "Chiona, you have to be very sure. He's got walls."
"I know Dei, I know. You said once that the way to tell if you loved someone was whether you could imagine your life without them. I can't. Please say yes." She looked at him pleadingly.
He cupped her cheek in his hand and looked very sad for a moment but then he nodded and said in English, "I give my permission."
It was Jack and Sam's turn now. Jack wished that he and Johnny had a common language that the others didn't know. Of course they didn't so he plunged ahead in English. "Marrying someone means you are willing to choose them over absolutely everything else." He looked levelly at Johnny, "You lived what happens to the children if the parents aren't willing to do that," he said without any rancor, very matter of factly.
Sam said, softly, "He's right Johnny. It needs to be for keeps. You have only to look around to see the harm otherwise."
Jack smiled slightly at Sam and the focused back on Johnny. "Can you do that? Is she that important to you?"
Johnny looked down at Chiona and the expression on his face answered his father's question but he confirmed it by saying, "She is the most important thing in my life."
Jack looked at Sam then and she nodded. "Your mother and I give our permission."
There then ensued a mammoth group hug. When it broke apart Johnny kissed Chiona, now his right. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Danil pull Sam closer and kiss her. She heard Jack laughing, the first time since Sara died. It was the strangest and most wonderful moment of her life.
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That evening, Daniel and Sam were on the back porch. She was leaning back against him and his arms were wrapped around her. They had noticed Jake and Seline, Seline holding a drowsy Danny, and Johnny and Chiona sitting together in the kitchen talking quietly. Jack had been teaching the children croquet on the front lawn and but the loud shrieks of merriment had stopped a few minutes ago. It was so peaceful out here in the quiet, cool night with the moon frosting the water silver and a gentle breeze making it feel really good to have Sam snuggled against him. Daniel couldn't let himself be really happy because he knew that at least tomorrow he would have to start the discussions about who was going and who was staying and he didn't even know what the woman nestled against him would decide.
Suddenly there they heard Jack's voice coming from the living room. At first it was curses and then he must have realized who his audience was and switched to something more acceptable. Suddenly Tealk ran into the kitchen and said urgently, "Jack says you got come into the living room now and see what the television is saying about the massahcree."
As they exploded with questions, Tealk ran through the back door to his father. "Dei, you got to," he started out but Daniel stopped him, his blood running cold.
"We heard. Thanks Tealk. We're coming." They hustled back in behind the little boy to find everyone gaping at the television.
The horrific news ran almost without interruption, not only on the all news channels but also on major networks for days. On P5H793, the entire SG1 negotiating team had been massacred and, apparently, eaten. The locals who had traded for cameras with developing capabilities early on had proudly taken pictures. The desire to negotiate had particularly strong because there appeared to be a drug on P5H793 that could cure AIDs, still defeating medical investigators after all these years. It was the textbook argument for Manifest Destiny, similar to the pro-choice argument of the teenage girl who is raped by her brother.
When the firestorm quieted, the public got behind the "Stargate Doctrine" which stated two criteria that must be present to justify intervention and conquest of another planet, 1) a compelling Tauri need and 2) "conduct sufficiently below a civilized standard of behavior."
Daniel pulled everyone together from his family and Sam's as well as Jack, and stated the situation. "This doctrine means that there will be a way to permit subduing Lisseth when they have the resources to do it. There'll always be a way to manufacture something, if it doesn't exist, to meet the criteria. I am not at all sure that the incident on P5H7993 wasn't provoked or even staged by those with interests in the outcome we now have."
Jack shook his head. "Daniel, I have trouble with that."
"I respect your opinion, Jack, but I have an obligation to the Blue People, MY people. I am returning immediately to Lisseth and I am burying the gate. They can send a ship eventually but they don't have that many. If we hide the gate, they will eventually have to leave."
Sam and her sons and Jack were stunned. Daniel's children were surprised in varying degrees but not that strongly. Johnny was the first to speak. "Think of the cost to your family, to Chiona!" He took a couple of steps forward but she was holding his hand and pulled him back towards her.
"There is going to a terrible cost for all of us. Those that go to Lisseth will never see those that stay there again. Tealk and Jak will come back with me." He looked at his boys who didn't seem disposed to argue. "The rest of you are old enough to make up your own minds." He turned to Sam who was standing, white faced, next to him. "My love, I wish you would come with me but I will understand if you can't give up your work or be separated from your sons. I don't want to lose you or any of my children," and he looked then at Jake, "but there are thousands of lives for which I am also responsible."
Absolute silence reigned. Daniel looked at each one. "Talk to each other. Think about it. Talk to me if that will help. But I can't believe that any of you would betray me to the government, prevent me from going back."
Jonas said, "You know I'm staying here, right?"
"Of course, Jonas, but you know we love you. You'd be welcome." Jonas hugged him and went outside to walk along the water's edge.
The rest of the group dispersed then, Trina the only one staying behind to talk to Daniel. "Honey, you are the most brilliant person I've ever met," her father told her. "If you want to stay here to study, to do research, I think we can find people to look out for you. You will never be able to realize that potential on Lisseth."
Trina said, in a very small voice, "I love you Dei and my brothers and Seline and Danny but I was always out of place on Lisseth. I knew this question was going to come up and I have been thinking about it a lot. If you think there would be someone I could stay with, that I wouldn't be completely alone, I want to stay here."
He nodded, tears starting to run down his cheeks and held her to him for a long time as she began to cry herself.
Daniel wasn't surprised when Johnny and Chiona came within an hour to announce, "We've decided to stay here. Trina's staying, right, and Jonas?" Daniel nodded. Chiona said, "They need family and Johnny needs a broad canvas for his music."
"What about what you need, Chiona?" he asked sadly.
"I need Johnny. And," she laughed, "I have to admit, I have really enjoyed being a rock star myself, so far. But it does mean that we need to get married right away because we want you at the wedding."
After they left to talk about the details of the ceremony, Daniel leaned back and closed his eyes. He had expected the decisions so far. Although he hadn't talked with Jack yet, he figured that was also a done deal. Why would Jack do anything but stay here with his son and his memories of Sara in the place they had shared?
Now he waited for the wildcards that had to be played out. Jack and Seline came to talk to him without Danny. When he looked a question at Seline's empty arms, she said, "Chiona's got him."
It was Seline who told them their decision, "Dei, we want to come with you."
Daniel sternly suppressed the joy in his heart. This had to be right for them. He looked intently at his beloved son. "Jake, you won't be able to make a living with music or acting. You'll have to start from scratch, a new language and everything. Your brothers will be here. Are you sure?"
Jake said, slowly, "I won't pretend it was an easy decision. There is enormous pain, no matter what I do, but I think this is best."
Daniel waited for hours but Sam never came. He went looking for her finally and found her as far from the house as you could get on the little island. "Sam," he said quietly. She was so lost in her thoughts. He didn't want to startle her.
She turned toward him and looked at him sadly but lovingly. "Daniel, darling, I guess I've been out here a long time. I hope you weren't worried."
He went forward then and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her and taking her hand. "I've created a hideous situation for you and it's killing me."
"You're doing this because you are Daniel," she said, tracing designs on the back of his hand. "I can't blame you for that."
"You've talked to your sons. You know their decisions?"
"Yes. No matter what I do I lose at least one of them. They're grown, Daniel. Jacob may only be 18 but he's least as mature as Johnny. And they'll have each other and Chiona and Trina and Jack."
Daniel began to hope then but he couldn't rush her. He had to let her say it. His patience was rewarded when she turned and looked full into his face. "I have to be with you my Daniel. I'm going."
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They organized a double wedding for Jake and Seline and Johnny and Chiona. By using a judge Jack knew to get the licenses and a minister Sam knew to perform the ceremony, they kept the media out of it completely. The ceremony was held outside on Jack's island. There were a few guests other than the family and none suspected the sorrow going hand in hand with the joy all throughout the day.
After all the guests and the minister had left, they held a Lisseth wake. When Tealk, Jak, Daniel, Sam, Jake, Seline, and Danny left, it would be a form of death to those they left behind and for those leaving, Trina, Jonas, Jack, Johnny, and Chiona were lost. The symbolism had no real meaning to Jack or Sam and her sons but the feeling was palpable and drew them all in.
Daniel and the party for Lisseth left at dawn the next day and went straight to Colorado. The fact that two of Daniel's daughters had stayed behind lulled any suspicions of Daniel's true intentions. He had also arranged for a letter to be sent to the New York Times one week later that would present a scenario in which he had arbitrarily decided who was going and left those staying behind in ignorance of his decision.
Johnny, Chiona, Trina, Jonas, and Jack were able to ride out the acrimony after Daniel buried the gate. "Freedom" had left too many people convinced that Lisseth was not a world that merited conquest and Daniel's act was seen by many as heroism rather than treason. Jack lived to see Johnny, Chiona, Jonas, and Trina grow old with a history of significant accomplishments in everything they had turned their hand to. He died in peace, surrounded by those who loved him.
On Lisseth, the years flowed by without the strong delimiters of hours, days, and months so important to the Tauri. Jak's, Tealk's, Danny's, and Jake and Seline's children were numerous and their children even more so. Sam and Daniel lived over 150 years, long enough to bury Jake, Tealk, Jak, and Seline which, as Daniel said, was, by definition, too long. They died within hours of each other and there was a common wake. At its end, their 149 living descendants looked up to the heavens and the youngest child of those old enough to talk gave spoke the final words as was the custom. He pointed to the heavens and proclaimed for all of them, "There is the star of Samantha and Daniel. May we always honor them."
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Jack/Sam alternate ending
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In the end, Sam was led by the past to choose her future. She needed her work. She could not define herself solely in her relationships. Choosing Daniel meant choosing love over all else including what made her her. Inevitably it would mean going to live on Lisseth and never doing a day's astrophysics research again. Choosing Jack meant living her life according to rules she had made successful, buoyed by the hope that someday, somehow, he would be ready to be with her again.
Each day she weaned herself a little further away from Daniel. She returned to California and picked up the reins of her research once again. She contented herself with long televideo sessions on the computer to make herself feel a part of the extended family that had developed there on the tiny Minnesota island.
One day, Daniel called. "Sam, Johnny and Chiona want to ask Jack and me a question. Tradition doesn't require that you be there but I think you should be."
He angled the computer so that its camera picked up and sent her the scene in the kitchen. Sam noted that the kitchen held only Johnny and Chiona, Daniel and Jack. Johnny had his arm around Chiona and they both looked very nervous.
Johnny looked, rather helplessly at Chiona. "I have absolutely no idea what we're supposed to do, you know."
Chiona nodded and said, "Dei, Jack, Johnny and I want to get married and we would like your permission." Then she looked at Johnny as if to say, "How hard was that?"
Daniel switched to the Blue language and asked her something heartfelt which she answered in like tones. Chiona looked at Daniel pleadingly.
He cupped her cheek in his hand and looked very sad for a moment but then he nodded and said in English, "I give my permission."
It was Jack and Sam's turn now. Jack wished that he and Johnny had a common language that the others didn't know. Of course they didn't so he plunged ahead in English. "Marrying someone means you are willing to choose them over absolutely everything else." He looked levelly at Johnny, "You lived what happens to the children if the parents aren't willing to do that," he said without any rancor, very matter of factly.
Sam said, softly, "He's right Johnny. It needs to be for keeps. You have only to look around to see the harm otherwise."
Jack smiled slightly toward the computer at Sam and the focused back on Johnny. "Can you do that? Is she that important to you?"
Johnny looked down at Chiona and the expression on his face answered his father's question but he confirmed it by saying, "She is the most important thing in my life."
Jack looked at the screen, at Sam, then and she nodded. "Your mother and I give our permission."
There then ensued a mammoth group hug for those in Minnesota and Johnny came to the computer and hugged it for his laughing mother. Chiona was an answer to prayer. If Daniel had never done anything other than bring Seline and Chiona into her sons' lives, she would be eternally grateful. She refused to think about him as anything other than her boys' future father-in-law and some days, it even worked.
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"We Die Free's" music shaped hearts and minds in the same way that "Uncle Tom's Cabin" made people sit up and take notice, at last, that slaves were real people who felt the same pain as everyone else. Ugly rumors appeared immediately, encouraged by the Manifest Destiny cabal. The most popular ones were that Danny was Daniel's child and that the two brothers were sharing the two stepsisters. The vast majority of people either didn't believe the rumors or were, secretly, titillated by them. No one stopped buying the music. It seemed that the war was over and Daniel and his family could think about going home.
Daniel was sitting in the kitchen with the two young couples, holding a drowsy baby Danny. They were talking quietly about their weddings, about Lisseth traditions and Tauri traditions and how best to blend them. Suddenly there they heard Jack's voice coming from the living room. At first it was curses and then he must have realized who his audience was and switched to something more acceptable. Suddenly Tealk ran into the kitchen and said urgently, "Jack says you got come into the living room now and see what the television is saying about the massahcree."
As they exploded with questions, Tealk ran back into the living room and they hustled back in behind the little boy to find everyone gaping at the television.
The horrific news ran almost without interruption, not only on the all news channels but also on major networks. On P5H793, the entire SG1 negotiating team had been massacred and, apparently, eaten. The locals who had traded for cameras with developing capabilities early on had proudly taken pictures. The desire to negotiate had particularly strong because there appeared to be a drug on P5H793 that could cure AIDs, still defeating medical investigators after all these years. It was the textbook argument for Manifest Destiny, similar to the pro-choice argument of the teenage girl who is raped by her brother.
When the firestorm quieted, the public got behind the "Stargate Doctrine" which stated two criteria that must be present to justify intervention and conquest of another planet, 1) a compelling Tauri need and 2) "conduct sufficiently below a civilized standard of behavior."
Daniel pulled everyone together from both families as well as Jack and stated the situation. "This doctrine means that there will be a way to permit subduing Lisseth when they have the resources to do it. There will always be a way to manufacture if nothing else something to meet the criteria. I'm not at all sure that the incident on P5H7993 wasn't provoked or even staged by those with interests in the outcome we now have."
Jack shook his head. "Daniel, I have trouble with that."
"I respect your opinion, Jack, but I have an obligation to the Blue People, MY people. I am returning immediately to Lisseth and I am burying the gate. They can send a ship eventually but they don't have that many. If we hide the gate, they will eventually have to leave."
Sam and her sons and Jack were stunned. Daniel's children were surprised in varying degrees but not that strongly. Johnny was the first to speak. "Think of the cost to your family, to Chiona!" He took a couple of steps forward but she was holding his hand and pulled him back towards her.
"There is going to a terrible cost for all of us. Those that go to Lisseth will never see those that stay there again. Tealk and Jak will come back with me." He looked at his boys who didn't seem disposed to argue. "The rest of you are old enough to make up your own minds. Jonas, Jack, Sam, I asked you to be part of this discussion because you will be very affected by the decisions that the others make. I care about all three of you and leaving you behind and any of my children who choose to stay will be unutterably painful but there are thousands of lives for which I am responsible."
Absolute silence reigned. Daniel looked at each one. "Talk to each other. Think about it. Talk to me if that will help. But I can't believe that any of you would betray me to the government, prevent me from going back."
Jonas said, "You know I wish there was someway we could all be together, don't you?"
"Of course, Jonas. You know we love you." Jonas hugged him and went outside to walk along the water's edge.
The rest of the group dispersed then, Trina the only one staying behind to talk to Daniel. "Honey, you are the most brilliant person I've ever met," her father told her. "If you want to stay here to study, to do research, I think we can find people to look out for you. You will never be able to realize that potential on Lisseth."
Trina said, in a very small voice, "I love you Dei and my brothers, Seline, and Danny but I was always out of place on Lisseth. I knew this question was going to come up and I have been thinking about it a lot. If you think there would be someone I could stay with, that I wouldn't be completely alone, I want to stay here."
He nodded, tears starting to run down his cheeks and held her to him for a long time as she began to cry herself.
Daniel wasn't surprised when Johnny and Chiona came within an hour to announce, "We've decided to stay here. Trina's staying, right?" Daniel nodded. "They need family and Johnny needs a broad canvas for his music."
"What about what you need, Chiona?" he asked sadly.
"I need Johnny. And," she laughed, "I have to admit, I have really enjoyed being a rock star myself, so far. But it does mean that we need to get married right away because we want you at the wedding."
After they left to talk about the details of the ceremony, Daniel leaned back and closed his eyes. He had expected the decisions so far. Although he hadn't talked with Jack or Sam yet, their decisions were obvious. Why would Jack do anything but stay here with his son and his memories of Sara in the place they had shared? Why would Sam leave her work, at least two of her sons, and Jack?
Now he waited for the wildcards had to be played out. Jack and Seline came to talk to him without Danny. When he looked a question at Seline's empty arms, she said, "Chiona's got him."
It was Seline who told them their decision, "Dei, we want to come with you."
Daniel sternly suppressed the joy in his heart. This had to be right for them. He looked intently at his beloved son. "Jake, you won't be able to make a living with music or acting. You'll have to start from scratch, a new language and everything. Your brothers and your mother will be here. Are you sure?"
Jake said, slowly, "I won't pretend it was an easy decision. There is enormous pain, no matter what I do, but I think this is best."
Daniel went looking for Sam then. He found her as far from the house as you could get on the little island. "Sam," he said quietly. She was so lost in her thoughts. He didn't want to startle her.
She turned toward him and looked at him sadly but with great fondness. "Daniel, I guess I've been out here a long time. I hope you weren't worried."
He went forward then and sat down next to her, putting his arm around her and taking her hand. "I've created a hideous situation for you and it's killing me."
"You're doing this because you are Daniel," she said, tracing designs on the back of his hand. "I can't blame you for that."
"You've talked to Jake. You know his decision?"
"As much as it hurts me," she said, broken hearted, "I am glad that, in the end, I didn't take him away from you."
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They organized a double wedding for Jake and Seline and Johnny and Chiona. By using a judge Jack knew to get the licenses and a minister Sam knew to perform the ceremony, they kept the media out of it completely. The ceremony was held outside on Jack's island. There were only a few guests from outside the family and none suspected the sorrow going hand in hand with the joy all throughout the day.
After all the guests and the minister had left, they held a Lisseth wake. When Tealk, Jak, Daniel, Jake, Seline, and Danny left, it would be a form of death to those they left behind and, for those leaving, Sam, Trina, Jonas, Jack, Johnny, and Chiona were lost. The symbolism had no real meaning to Jack or Sam and her sons but the feeling was palpable and drew them in.
Daniel and the party for Lisseth left at dawn the next day and went straight to Colorado. The fact that two of Daniel's daughters had stayed behind lulled any suspicions of Daniel's true intentions. He had also arranged for a letter to be sent to the New York Times one week later that would present a scenario in which he had arbitrarily decided who was going and left those staying behind in ignorance of his decision.
Sam, Johnny, Chiona, Trina, Jonas, and Jack were able to ride out the acrimony after Daniel buried the gate. "Freedom" had left too many people convinced that Lisseth was not a world that merited conquest and Daniel's act was seen by many as heroism rather than treason. Sam and Jack never married but they lived their last 50 or so years together. They watched their children grow old with a history of significant accomplishments in everything they had turned their hand to. Jack died in peace with Sam holding his hand and Johnny and Chiona's children and their children and grandchildren as well as Trina's and Jonas' crowding the room. Sam only outlived him by a few months and she too was surrounded by love at the end. Sam was buried next to Jack and Sara. At her request, there was another tombstone on her other side with Daniel's name. It had a birthday but no death date. It said, simply, "He lives in our hearts forever."

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