campylobacter asked for Harry Maybourne and off-word fermented fruit. Includes spoilers for Paradise Lost.

"JACK!"

Jack didn't take his eyes off his fishing line as Maybourne stomped towards him. "You bellowed?" he inquired.

"Don't you have experience in making a still?"

"Not really, no." Jack finally glanced at him. "Moonshine not working out yet?"

"I can't get those blue fruits to ferment!"

"Should've thought of that before stranding us here."

Maybourne groaned pitifully. "What kind of paradise is it when you can't get drunk?"

In truth, Jack would've gladly tried some of Skaara's poisonous brew right now. But watching Maybourne's tantrum was almost as good -- and anyway, a person needs to drink with friends.

*

sulien77 asked for Jack, Daniel, and Tengwar (Tolkien's Elvish script). The prompt got a little altered along the way. :)

Daniel is used to Jack and Dixon leaving cheap souvenirs in the archeology lab in the hope they'll be mistaken for off-world artifacts. He doesn't mind; it keeps his people on their toes, and some items have been creatively entertaining. But he's a little insulted when he finds a page of script on his desk, labeled P4X-442 -- translate immediately.

"Tengwar, Jack?" he demands, flourishing the offensive paper. "You think I wouldn't recognize Tolkien's Elvish?"

"I liked the movie," Jack defends himself.

"Try Pig Latin next time!" Daniel snaps, and stalks away.

Jack considers. "Huh. Maybe Klingon will work."

*

jagfanlj asked for Teal'c and kittens.

Bastet was most obsessed, but the cat has always been a favored, cosseted pet among the Goa'uld. Teal'c remembers those sleek, arrogant creatures: long-haired, perfectly groomed, bedecked in jeweled collars and fed dainties from golden plates. He admired their grace, but cared little for them.

Now Teal'c considers a very different kind of feline -- a bedraggled kitten, small enough to fit in the palm of his hand. As he gently strokes between her ears, her mouth opens in a silent mew, pink tongue flicking a question.

"Yes," he tells her. "I believe we will suit one another quite well."

*
rdamel asked for Jack taking early season team to a hockey game.

"Modern-day blood sport," Daniel said dismissively. "I suppose salary caps are better than ritual sacrifice."

"That goalie is calculating the angles all wrong! How can he block the puck if he doesn't --"

"I am disappointed, O'Neill. I was unaware that the Tau'ri cannot resort to violence without protective padding."

"GUYS!" Jack looked at his team with fond exasperation. "Just enjoy it, will you? This is supposed to be fun!"

The impassive gazes morphed into wicked grins, and Jack realized they were playing him.

"Hmph." He folded his arms and huffed. "Just for that, you're all buying your own beer."

*

princessofgeeks asked for Cassie discovering something unique to Earth and purely fun.

Cassie runs a finger across the sheets of brightly-colored stickers. There are puffy ones, glittery ones, and some that change if you tip your head sideways. All beautiful. And, as far as she can tell, completely useless.

"What are they for?" she finally asks.

Janet hugs her. "They're just for fun, honey."

Back on Hanka, Cassie's village lived from hand to mouth, saving any surplus for the inevitable hard times. She'd never owned anything that wasn't purely useful. Here on Earth, though, people bought pretty things just for fun!

Amazing.

She can't but smile as she hugs Janet back.

*

kazbaby asked for Cam and Teal'c cooking holiday foods. She got this instead. :)

Cameron wandered into Teal'c's room, then paused and took a cautious sniff.

"Incense?" he asked.

Teal'c, cross-legged on the floor, opened his eyes long enough to nod at the burning candles that surrounded him.

"Thought you don't meditate anymore, Teal'c. This smells a little..."

Teal'c glanced up again. "I am honoring Life Day, Colonel Mitchell. The scent is not hallucinogenic."

"Life Day? That from Chulak?"

An eyebrow rose in disapproval at Cameron's ignorance. "It is a Star Wars holiday."

"Really? From the movies?"

Teal'c frowned. "Sadly, no. Even before Jar-Jar, there was the travesty of The Holiday Special."

*

gategremlyn asked for a member of the team slipping on the ice and the rest of the team's reactions.

"Ice skating," Jack declared, "is one of the best forms of exercise. It's low-impact, aerobic, improves balance and muscle tone..."

"It's also good for hockey," Daniel interrupted with acid sweetness. "Which isn't all that low-impact, I'd say."

Sam stifled a grin. Teal'c merely tilted his head.

"Look, I'll show you, okay?" Jack moved onto the ice. "Trust me, you can't find a better --"

His legs shot out from under him. Jack found himself sprawled on his back, staring at the sky.

"Nice technique," Daniel chortled, and Jack made a mental note to kill him at the first opportunity.

*

aelfgyfu_mead asked for Janet and Sam enjoying downtime together.

Janet burst into the science lab, almost bouncing with excitement.

"Sam, look at this! Cassie gave me a gift certificate for Matéos Day Spa's Great Escape package! Lavender massage, custom facial, aroma steam treatment..."

Sam examined the gift certificate and whistled. "This looks fantastic, Janet. Cassie has good taste."

"Isn't she a sweetheart?" Janet beamed. "And you're coming with me, Sam. Spa packages can be shared -- I checked. The two of us could use some downtime together!"

"I'll be there," Sam promised Janet with a smile, and didn't tell her that she'd helped Cassie pay for Janet's special birthday present.

*

q_d_o_g asked for Teal'c and Cassie, clothes shopping

Cassie was always glad to see Teal'c, of course. And overly bright colors aside, he did have impeccable taste. But she was less than thrilled that he was taking her shopping on this particular occasion.

"Look, I know Mom is in... Toronto, helping with that, ah, flu outbreak. Just -- please don't be offended, Teal'c, but wouldn't Sam...?"

"Cassandra Frasier," Teal'c said, his face lighting in that gentle smile he reserved for her alone. "Rest assured that I am well-versed in choosing appropriate weaponry to suit an upcoming battle. The prom dress is simply a weapon for a different battlefield."

*

acarlgeek asked for Daniel and a new coffee maker.

Daniel is an unashamed coffee addict, but contrary to popular opinion, he isn't actually a coffee snob. He appreciates good coffee, but for much of his adult life, he hasn't been able to afford the quality stuff. And when coffee is boiled in a battered metal pot over a kerosene stove on a remote dig, taste is pretty much a moot point.

Somehow, though, his friends are convinced that he is the ultimate of coffee snobs. And since this means gifts of Sumatra Manhelding and a Zojirushi Fresh Brew coffee maker on his birthday, Daniel chooses not to correct them.