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Alphabet Soup

by Fig Newton
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Written for Team Alphabet Soup. All fluff, no spoilers.
SG-1 was seated at a table in the commissary when Teal'c produced a roll of duct tape and solemnly pronounced its simple versatility to be one of the Tau'ri's greatest technological triumphs.

Jack spluttered a mouthful of coffee across the table, leaving Daniel blinking indignantly behind spattered glasses and Sam hiding a smile behind a diplomatic hand. "It can't be better than cable," Jack protested as he absently handed Daniel a napkin.

Teal'c was unmoved. "Cable television is a luxury, O'Neill."

"Well, yeah. That's my point!"

Teal'c raised a meaningful eyebrow which clearly stated that Jack was only pretending not to understand what he meant. Jack pointed a menacing finger back at him, daring him to say that out loud. Daniel finished wiping his glasses and nudged Sam, who tipped her head down to hide the broadening grin and muttered under her breath, "Yes, I know."

"I'm not saying duct tape isn't useful," Jack sighed finally, caving into the Eyebrow of Doom. "I've used it often enough. I'm just saying that it's somewhere on my list after air conditioning. And The Simpsons."

"Duct tape should be part of our regular supplies," Teal'c said firmly. "I believe it would be most useful on missions."

"Oh, Jack thinks so, too," Daniel interrupted, his voice bright with false innocence. "That's why he always carries a flattened roll of duct tape in a pocket of his vest."

Jack gave Daniel his patented I-am-Colonel-tremble-before-me glare. Daniel's sweet smile only grew wider as he cupped his chin in one hand. This time, it was Teal'c and Sam who exchanged raised brows and wry looks.

"I think it's actually very appropriate to take duct tape with us on missions through the Gate," Sam announced, her voice a little louder than necessary. When Jack and Daniel broke their ongoing staring contest to look at her inquiringly, she continued in a normal tone that grew more animated as she expounded. "I mean, think about it. Stargate Command marries the military with the scientific. Duct tape was first invented back in 1942 for military usage, and NASA has found it tremendously useful in space -- think of how it saved the day in 1970, when they used it on Apollo 13 to modify the CO2 scrubbers..."

Teal'c listened with grave courtesy as Sam happily detailed the many ways in which duct tape merged her two fields together. Daniel gestured wildly as he analyzed the etymology of the term, explaining duct versus duck and other common names. Jack rolled his eyes repeatedly and pretended to ignore the entire conversation, swiping Sam's untouched cup of coffee and Daniel's pie.

Two days later, though, he introduced Teal'c to the wonders of MacGyver.
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