After
After
by Badgergater
Summary: Jack encounters someone he hasn't seen for a long time
Category: Drama
Season: future Season
Pairing: Jack/Sara
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 05/31/03
After
By BadgerGater
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
She looked good.
That was his first thought, that she still looked young.
And from the smile, happy at last.
Apparently, divorce had been good for her.
Better than their marriage, or at least, better than the end of it had been.
Well, that wasn't a surprise.
What had happened between them, after all that time...
He hadn't seen her smile like that in years.
He shouldn't have come. He knew that. There'd been the possibility that she'd be there, though he didn't even know for sure if she still lived in Colorado Springs. He didn't keep track of her, didn't keep up on what was happening in her life. There was no need. They weren't married anymore. The bond that had once existed was long since shattered now.
Hard to believe, that two people who'd once seemed so right together, could end up so wrong, so distant, so badly hurt.
But this party was for an old friend, and damn it, he'd been Jack's friend, too.
So he'd taken the chance on showing up.
And made a bad choice.
He'd made lots of those, it seemed.
As he stood watching, a man walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder, possessively. He recognized the motion, he'd done it himself how many times, that move to touch, to claim her, to say, this beautiful woman belongs to me.
Funny, there was no pang of jealousy.
Guess that meant he really was over her at last.
It had taken him long enough.
He watched, and wondered why he watched. That was her new husband, he assumed. He'd heard she'd remarried, to another military man. From this distance, he could see there was a ring on the third finger of her left hand, so he guessed this must be his replacement: younger, probably smarter, definitely more talkative, seemed to fit right in.
Like he didn't, anymore.
At least, not here.
He was retired, living at his cabin in Minnesota, where he should have stayed: ex-military, ex-husband, ex-father, ex-far too many things to count.
Deciding he should at least get a meal before he made his apologies to the host, Jack made his way to the heavily laden buffet table. Picking up a plate, he selected a ham sandwich, some salad stuff with green peas, and a large spoonful of jello with pineapple, skipping the whipped cream. Had to watch his cholesterol these days.
Finding an empty chair at a table near the back of the room, he sat down to eat.
Jack was startled when someone sat down beside him.
"Hi, Jack," she said, smiling.
"Hello," he answered warily. She hadn't come to gloat, had she?
"You look good, Jack."
Nodding to the lie, he swallowed a mouthful of ham and whole wheat biscuit. "So do you. Guess marriage agrees with you."
"Tom's a good man," she nodded toward her new husband.
Unlike me, he thought. "Air Force, is he?"
"No, actually, he's a Marine."
"How nice. Semper Fi and all that."
She smiled. "Living up at the cabin?"
"Yes," he answered, not knowing anything else to say.
"Look, I..." she put a hand on his long, thin fingers, those hands she'd always loved, that had done things to her, things she'd never imagined a man's hands could do. "I'm sorry, about us...."
"Nothing for you to be sorry about..."
"I moved out..."
He shrugged. "I left first."
She pulled her hand back, her fingers tracing the pattern of the tablecloth. "We could have tried again..."
"It was over."
She nodded, and stood. "I'll introduce you to Tom..." she offered.
He shook his head no. "No thanks."
She didn't know what else to say. "It was good to see you."
"Goodbye," he said.
She started away, back toward her new husband, her new life, then paused, and turned back to him. He was standing, watching her go.
"Jack..."
"Sam," he said, "I finally got that dog."
Out in his truck, he sat quietly for a few moments, thinking about her, about them, and what had gone wrong. After all those years of flirting, when he retired, marrying her had seemed like the thing to do; it was certainly what everyone had expected of them. So they'd done it, taken the plunge, tied the knot. It hadn't even lasted through the honeymoon before he'd known what a mistake it was. Sure, he'd wanted her, he was a guy, and he'd been lonely and she was lovely, and laughed at his jokes. For years, they'd both been caught up in a job that prevented them from having normal relationships, living a life so bizarre no one could have understood them, even if they could have told the truth. Which they couldn't.
They'd been thrown together.
They'd been friends.
He should have realized, hell, they both should have realized, there'd always been others, for both of them, but for her especially: Martouf, Orlin, Narim, Joe the Ambassador, McKay... that should have been a sign. But neither one of them had wanted to see.
Sometimes, you made up your mind about things, and couldn't let them go.
Sometimes, you wanted things that were all the wrong things.
Sometimes, you made choices that, even when you made them, you knew were wrong, but you wanted them to be right, so you blundered right on past all the flashing red warning signals, like a speeding car ignoring the stoplights.
After which, of course, you crashed and burned.
He'd retired. He was ready. Done. The spirit willing but the body worn down.
She wasn't ready to quit. He didn't want her to. So he'd tried to live in her shadow.
And failed.
He went fishing alone, during the day, spent his evenings waiting for her to come home, while she was engrossed in her work, in her science, her experiments.
Science had always stood between them.
He'd always known she loved her work first.
Hell, to be honest, so had he.
And when they didn't have that work in common anymore, the cracks in the foundation of their relationship had started to show. And grow. Engulfed them.
The sex had been great.
But there had to be more than that.
And there wasn't.
He'd started going up to his cabin, spending long solitary days and nights, while she was wrapped up in her work instead of wrapped in his arms.
And then, one day, when he'd come home, her things were gone from his house.
Just a note, brief and to the point.
"I'm sorry."
So was he.
Two-time loser.
Another ex- after his name.
When she'd left, he had missed her.
Hell, he'd missed all of his teammates, all of his friends, his work.
There was no reason to stay in Colorado Springs after that.
He'd sold the house, moved up to Minnesota full time.
Found he was good at being a hermit.
The neighbors thought he was strange, that cranky old man who lived alone down by the lake.
He really had gotten the dog.
Good company.
Looked at him with adoring eyes, followed him everywhere, craved his attention. Loyal. Affectionate. Cute. Obeyed orders. Didn't give a damn about physics and chemistry and science.
He had one more place to visit before he left town.
He drove slowly along the well remembered route, but hesitant, as always, to arrive.
Sara must be keeping up the grave, now that he was here so rarely. There were flowers growing beside the marker. Stiffly, Jack walked over and found a spot to sit on the green grass, heedless of the effect of the dampness on his ever-achy knees.
That's where she found him.
"Jack?"
Another voice from his past. He turned to look up at her, climbing to his feet.
Sara's hair had gone gray. The lines of sadness were still there around her mouth, the lines he'd put there, but her voice was soft and affectionate, like she, at least, really was glad to see him.
"I thought you might be here today."
He shrugged. "It's been a long time."
"Yes, it has," and he knew she wasn't just referring to the length of time since his last visit.
He closed his eyes, a pained look flitting across his face as he thought about the years gone by and all the sorrow they'd shared.
And then he opened his eyes, to look into hers.
And saw something there, something shared, something he'd missed for far too many years.
He raised his arms and she stepped into his embrace, fitting back into that place, in his arms, in his heart, the place that had always been empty and waiting.
For her.
"So, you want to go fishing?"
Sara laughed. "I love fishing."
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