Saying Goodbye by LE McMurray

Saying Goodbye von LE McMurray

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Author's Notes:- Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.

I was sitting one Sunday night with a blank page and this appeared.

Warning:- Major Angst and Character Death.

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She was more than a little surprised when the man appeared at her door. He was dressed in full military dress uniform and had sadness etched into his face.

"Can I help you?" she asked, the last time someone like this had appeared at her door she'd received a video message from her brother.

"Jeannie McKay?" the man asked.

She nodded not bothering to mention she was married now, "Who are you?"

"I'm John Sheppard," he replied, "I'm a friend of your brother."

Jeannie was surprised; she'd expected possibly someone he worked with but 'friend' was not something people said about Rodney.

"Why are you here?" she demanded, not too sure why she had become defensive.

"Rodney's dying," John told her bluntly, "He doesn't have much time left and he wants to see you. Will you come?"

Stunned Jeannie stared at him for several moments before nodding, they had never been close but she couldn't let him die without getting to say goodbye.

"Come in," she told him, "I have to call my husband and get him to pick up the kids from school."

John nodded standing stock still in the middle of the hall as she fixed things before getting her jacket.

"I'm ready," she told him.

John nodded and lead her to the car he had waiting for them.

-

Jeannie sat on the plane nervously rubbing her hands; she glanced over at her escort who sat looking grim after making a call.

All he'd said was that he'd found her and they were on their way.

"What happened to him?" she finally managed to ask.

John gave a soft smile, "He saved a lot of people's lives. Mine included."

"Rodney?"

He scowled, "Yes Rodney," his eyes flashed for a second with anger, "He's changed a lot and if you'd agreed to see him the last time he called you would know that."

Jeannie winced feeling guilty; it wasn't that she hadn't wanted to see him she'd just had so much on her plate the week he'd called. She'd tried to call him after it but there had been no answer.

"Are you two close?" she asked needing to talk, needing to hear something other than her guilty conscience.

"Like brothers," John replied, "Rodney's a good man."

"I know," she whispered, "He always looked out for me when we were kids. Taking the brunt of our father's anger even when I was the one who'd done something."

She didn't know why she was telling this man this but she felt she should.

"We just grew apart as we grew up," Jeannie frowned, "He became so closed off I didn't...I know I should..."

She trailed off as she realised she was crying, John handed her a tissue which she took gratefully. Jeannie sniffed trying to force back any more tears.

"We'll be there soon," John told her.

"Will we be there in time?" Jeannie asked not knowing what made her ask.

He nodded, "The Doctor assures me you'll be able to talk to him."

Jeannie nodded and returned to rubbing her hands together.

-

Jeannie followed John off the plane to the car waiting for them. She sat her arms wrapped around her wondering why they were in Colorado but didn't voice the question. Instead she stared out the window at the passing scenery wondering what she would say to him, wondering how he would look, hoping she would be in time to tell him everything she had to say.

To her surprise the car entered a military base with several soldiers guarding the entrance. John touched her arm softly motioning her to join him. He marched to the desk and spoke softly to him for a few moments before signing her in.

"This way," John said pulling her out of her thoughts once more.

They entered the elevator and she watched the numbers go up as they went down surprised when it stopped.

"We need to take another one," he explained leading her to the next elevator.

They moved even deeper into the mountain and Jeannie wondered what the hell her brother had been doing here and how it was killing him.

The doors opened to reveal a woman; she wore the same sober expression as John.

"Jeannie?" the woman asked.

She nodded.

"I'm Elizabeth Weir," she introduced herself; "I'm a friend of Rodney's."

There was that word again; Jeannie thought wondering if it really was her brother they all knew and starting to wish that this was all a mistake.

They walked along a corridor of grey walls towards a small room; just outside a man met them.

"Dr Carson Beckett," John introduced, "This is Jeannie McKay."

"It's nice to meet you," Carson said softly, "I just wish it were under different circumstances."

"Can I see him now?" Jeannie asked her mouth suddenly dry.

"Aye you can," Carson told her, "Just to warn you, he might be a little incoherent at times but that's just the pain meds. He also has an oxygen mask to help him breathe, he can only take it off for a few moments at a time."

Jeannie nodded and turned to enter the room.

-

The bed he was on was elevated so he appeared to be sitting but his eyes were closed and she could see wires and tubes leaving him. Slowly she walked over to the bed staring down on him. His face was lean and pale; he seemed much slimmer than he had when she'd last seen him.

It took her several minutes but she finally managed to reach out to touch him, settling her hand on his forehead.

"Rodney," she called to him softly, "Rodney."

His eyes fluttered open and he stared at her in amazement, "You came?"

"Of course I came," she whispered.

"I thought...thought you didn't...want to...see me," he managed to say gasping for breath.

"I didn't know you would be gone after that week," Jeannie told him, "I missed you so much."

"You did?"

"Yeah," Jeannie smiled down at him, "Who else can make me laugh like you can?"

Rodney smiled closing his eyes; Jeannie was about to call the doctor when he turned to her again, "Missed you too. Wanted to...to say...I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Jeannie asked confused.

"Leaving you," he murmured, "Leaving you with them."

"You had to go to college and the scholarship meant you went to the best," she reminded him, "I never resented you for that."

Tears welled up in his eyes, "Thank you."

Jeannie leaned over and gently kissed his forehead, "You know I'm married now?"

"When?" he asked the exhaustion he was feeling filling his voice.

"Seven years now," she smiled at him, "I tried to find you but every time I thought I was getting close you seemed to disappear again."

"Kids?"

"Two," she pulled out some pictures from her bag, "A boy and a girl."

"Hope he's...not called...after me," Rodney grinned.

"I gave him Rodney as a middle name," she smiled at him, "Their names are Robert and Clara."

"Robert Rodney?" he whispered, "That's cruel."

"We call him Bobbie," Jeannie told him.

"Wish I...I could see them," Rodney looked at her sadly.

"You will," Jeannie sniffed

"I know I'm dying."

At his statement she felt her tears starting to fall wishing she could be braver for him.

"Don't be sad," he sighed.

"You can't tell me not to be sad," Jeannie whispered.

"Big brother," Rodney teased, "It's my job...to tell you...what to do."

His eyes closed again and Carson appeared at her side, "He's sleeping for now."

Jeannie nodded and this time didn't hold back her tears.

-

Jeannie accepted the cup of tea Elizabeth handed her as they sat in a room just off of where Rodney lay.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Jeannie asked of the other woman.

"I can't," Elizabeth replied sadly, "But I can tell you this. There are people alive today that would be dead if it hadn't been for your brother sacrificing himself."

"I don't understand," Jeannie whispered, "He's an astrophysicist, how did he end up doing something that put him here like this?"

"That's another thing I can't tell you," Elizabeth said staring at her tea.

"Is there anything you can tell me?" Jeannie snapped.

"Only that your brother was part of something incredible," Elizabeth stated intently, "That because of his brilliance he pulled us back from death many times and he gave his life to save people he cared for. Including you."

A single tear rolled down Jeannie's cheek, "He called me last year and asked to come see me. But my husband had this business thing we were trying to get together, I had to finish a huge presentation for work and both the kids were ill. I told him I couldn't. I wish I'd just..." she trailed off, "I want to stay at his side till this is over."

"Of course," Elizabeth told her.

-

Jeannie stood in the door watching as John sat with her brother, she didn't want to intrude but couldn't move away.

"Jeannie?" Rodney whispered.

"She's with Elizabeth," John assured her brother, "You fell asleep on her."

"Least it wasn't...fainting," Rodney gasped.

"Or passing out," John teased.

"Thought she...was a dream," Rodney said.

"No she's here," John assured him, "She came instantly to see you."

"Love her," Rodney whispered, "Miss her."

John rested his hand on his friend's forehead, "I'll go get her again, okay?"

As John turned Jeannie walked over to the bed, "Hey I'm here."

Rodney caught her hand, "Don't leave...don't wanna be...alone."

"You're not," Jeannie promised, "I'm here and you're friends are here. We won't leave you. I promise."

Rodney sighed in relief, "Tired."

"Get some rest," Jeannie stroked his hair, "I'll be here when you wake up."

-

Jeannie wasn't sure how long she'd been here but she kept her promise not moving from his bedside. Several people had come and gone wanting to see him before leaving her to her vigil.

Now though she knew they were almost at the end, John stood beside her while Elizabeth stood on his other side. Others whose names Jeannie didn't know gathered around the bed solemnly all wanting to be with Rodney in his last moments.

Carson stood beside the machines as they measured out his heartbeat that was slower and slower with each passing second. When he flatlined Jeannie dropped into the seat watching as those around the room turned to each other in sadness, tears flowing from their eyes.

Finally Jeannie managed to move off her seat and leaned over to gently kiss her brother's forehead whispering a final goodbye.

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Saying Goodbye von LE McMurray

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