Shade: Part Four
Shade: Part Four
by Gene Este
TITLE: Shade: Part Four
AUTHOR: Gene Este
EMAIL: t_girl21@mail.com
CATEGORY: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama, Sam/Jack, Series
SPOILERS: None
SEASON / SEQUEL: 4; Part Four of ?
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: male/female relationship
SUMMARY: SG-1 deal with their failed rescue...Sam may finally let go and relewase herself from her horrible situation...
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to all my friends at Fanfic.net and Helio, and to those who contributed feedback, It helped me greatly (and made me feel really good :-)). Also, my apologies that it took so long to get this out. I've been away for a while, and my muse decided to take a vacation without telling me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and, as always, Let the games begin!
Sam's leg was stiff.
Somewhere between the running she had done during her near-escape and the brutal moments at the hands of the Jaffa afterward she had lost the ability to bend her knee. She figured it was the latter, considering her torture sessions no longer consisted of just a hand device. The Jaffa tended to just beat her when they felt the need now, focusing particularly on her injured leg. But she didn't worry about that nearly as much as the fact that she hadn't seen or heard from Shade since they had been recaptured. It wasn't like him to leave her alone for long periods of time, and while she knew he probably didn't have much choice in that matter, it worried her that she hadn't at least contacted her mind-to-mind. It didn't just worry her; it scared the hell out of her. What were they doing to him that he couldn't even talk to her mind-to-mind? She knew he wasn't dead; he was too valuable to the Goauld. But she also knew that there were some fates worse than death. Sighing, she laid herself down on the freezing floor. She was just too tired to think about anything anymore. Aching for Shades warmth, she fell asleep shivering.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Sir"-
"Colonel, I said I'd see what I could do. Dismissed."
Jack stared down Hammond for a moment, and then left his office. There he found Daniel, who had obviously been trying to catch snippets of the conversation. Jack motioned for him to follow as continued down the hallway to his office.
"What did he say?"
"He said he'll 'see what he can do'." Jack replied bitterly.
"What? Did you tell him what Sam said?"
Jack stopped. "Yes I told him what Carter said!" He snapped.
Daniel looked at the floor. "I'm sorry. It's just really frustrating. I mean, it's been two weeks and he still hasn't done anything."
Jack sighed, and then resumed walking. "I know. But he's in a bad position. He wasn't there. He didn't see what we saw or hear what we heard. He needs hard evidence before he can authorize a rescue operation. Which means he needs evidence that Carter's still alive. And that's something we don't have."
In his office, Jack threw himself into his chair and blew out a breath. He punched his right fist into his left hand and shook his head wearily. "I'm getting tired of this, Danny."
Daniel nodded with understanding, the same exasperation reflecting in his eyes.
"I know, Jack. So am I."
Sam was afraid to sleep.
Her dreams were bathed in darkness; invaded by shadow men who would hurt her; torture her. It didn't matter that her nightmares were truth during her waking moments with the Jaffa. That was another life now. She lived two lives; One where she would sit alone in her cold, dark cell, slowly losing her mind. The second she lived at the hands of the Jaffa, where she spent an eternity. She could no longer remember what they did to her, only feeling the pain of it afterward. And she still hadn't heard from Shade, assuming he had ever been actually real. She wasn't sure anymore. It was possible that he had been a figment of her imagination, created by her unconscious mind to allow her to deal with her situation and keep her sane. To keep her of sound mind until the Colonel or SG-1 came for her. And they had. But she had sent them away so they wouldn't suffer the same fate she had these past months. So now that her mind had acknowledged that she had just lost her last chance of ever getting away from this god-forsaken place, she didn't need to be sane anymore. In fact, when she thought about it, her psyche was probably doing her a favor. So that's it. Shade was gone because he was never real. The Colonel was gone because she had sent him away. And soon her mind would be gone because there was really no reason for it to stay.
Jack found himself with Jacob and Daniel once again on the doorstep of Sally's parents house. He and Daniel had been invited to spend Christmas and New Years with Sam's family. He wasn't quite sure why they had agreed; it could have been loneliness, could have been for Daniel's sake, who, like him, would be alone on Christmas. Or it could have been that being with Sam's family would get them just a little bit closer to her.
Sally answered the door and introduced them to the many relatives waiting there in the house. Soon after exchanging greetings with everyone, Mark entered the room carrying his son and daughter, the latter reminding Jack a great deal of Sam. Finding that Jack had arrived, Mark fixed him with a hard stare, which Jack returned. They stood like this for several moments, much to the discomfort of those around them, and then Mark gave him a minute smile, and nodded almost imperceptively. Jack nodded back, and heard the relieved sigh Daniel let out. Jacob moved to stand next to him. "Don't expect too much from him, Jack. Mark and Sam were never close, but in the past year they've started to get to know each other. Now he's lost her again, and he's got to come to terms with it." Jacob paused, and then went on. "He hated Sam's decision to enter the military. He's angry that she gave up so much for it. He's angry with Sam; he's angry with you, with me, and most likely himself. For right now, that's all he is: Angry." Jacob sighed. "He misses her more than he'll ever let on. We Carters are like that."
Jack nodded, and added softly, "I know how he feels." Realizing what he just let on, he stole a glance at Jacob's face. Jacob just gazed at him for a moment, nodded, and left to say hello to his son. Jack shook his head warily, and moved over to sit on the couch for a while.
Just moments after he had settled, the little girl came over to sit beside him, and studied him. And then Jack realized, that's why she reminded him so much of Sam. The way she tilts her head to one side when she was thinking, the look in her eyes when he was calculating something; it was all mirrored in this little girl. Jack found himself smiling the first genuine smile in a long time. He stuck his hand out. "I'm Jack."
The girl smiled and shook his hand. "I'm Annie. Did you come with Grandpa?"
"Yeah, I did."
"Grandpa really likes you, I can tell."
Jack's smile got wider. "Yes, I suppose you could."
Annie's expression suddenly became solemn. "He's sad. So's Daddy and Momma. Aunt Sammy's lost."
Jack closed his eyes and turned away. He sighed, and then turned back to her. "I know."
Her eyebrows came together in concentration. "Are you one of Aunt Sammy's friends? Daddy said her friends were trying to find her. Do you know where she is?"
Jack sighed again. He was about to lie to a child, and he hated it. "No. I wished I did though."
Annie tilted her head again. She didn't look like she believed him.Figures,he thought,she is related to Sam.Thankfully, before she could ask any more questions, Sally came over and sat in the opposite chair. "Sweet, go find your father and brother and tell them I said to wash up. It's almost time for dinner." After her daughter had left, Sally pulled her feet up on the chair and gave Jack a look.
Jack tried to look innocent. "What?"
She gave him another look. "What do you mean 'What'? What was that back there? This is my parent's house, and I'm pretty sure they don't want it sprayed with testosterone." She sighed. "Look, Jack, I'm sure you already got the lecture from Jacob, but I'm going to tell you again. Mark loved Sam very much," she stopped and gave him an annoyed look. "Not that that's something he'll ever admit. He's lost his sister, and he's grieving. And you're not helping when you encourage behavior like that. I don't need my son learning that taking your anger out on someone else is a good way of handling grief."
Jack gave her a hurt puppy-dog look. "He started it," he said, gesturing across the room at Mark.
Sally gave him a look of affection, which surprised him. Ignoring the look on Jack's face, she chuckled. "I know he did. But you didn't have to return it." After giving him another one of her pointed looks, she sobered and leaned forward to take on of his hands. She spoke quietly, to make sure no one else could hear her.
"Jack, you can't act like this isn't affecting you forever. I know how much you cared about her. Your behavior a moment ago is a testament to that. But you can't go on like this Jack. Eventually you're going to crack. No military training or male bravado can change that." With that, she got up to herd everyone into the dining room. With another sigh, he got up and followed.
The Jaffa threw Sam into her cell, where she landed on her injured leg. She hurt so badly she couldn't move.This is the last time, she thought.No more. I can't take it.She sobbed quietly, and turned herself until she was lying on her back. She stared at the ceiling, praying for the joyful darkness that would away her pain forever and finally let her some peace. She felt it coming...
"No, Samantha. If you do that you may never wake up."
She squeezed her eyes shut. She remembered that voice. The person had said that before...but no. That man didn't exist.
"Yes I do, Samantha. You remember me. It's Shade. Open your eyes, Samantha."
Her sobs got louder.Go away! You're not real!
"Yes, I am. Now open your eyes!" Shade said more forcefully.
I can't! I don't want to! I can't live like this anymore! I don't want to!
Shade became more desperate. She was slipping away, and he knew it. He made a decision. He picked her up off the floor, listening to her moans. He held her against his chest, and took her hand. Then he closed his eyes.
Sam felt sunshine against her face. She could smell the perfume of flowers, and she could her the rustle of water nearby. It was all out of place; none of it should have been there. Perhaps the most amazing thing, however, was that there was no pain. Not from her leg, not from the bruises and other injuries. She felt nothing but calm, all around her. She knew her eyes were closed, but she was afraid to open them, that if she did she would find herself once again in her dark cell, that she would feel the pain again.
"It's alright, Samantha. You can open them. It won't disappear."
Hearing those words, she did. She was looking at a vast, beautiful blue sky. She sat up and looked around herself. The sight left her speechless. There were rolling green hills all around her. She found the source of the water noises in a huge waterfall near her, creating a fine mist encircling the wonderful trees. She stood up, surprised the she felt no resistance form her leg, or anywhere on her body. She moved to the edge of a cliff where the waterfall started its journey downward, which was at least 300 feet.
"This is...I must be crazy now. I've finally lost it. Not that I'm very sad about that, but...my god, this is amazing." She continued to look around, seeing multi-colored nirds in the trees and bright flowers sprouting from the ground.
"You're not insane Samantha. I've brought you here. This is my home."
Gene Este
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