One Day Closer To You
One Day Closer To You
by Meesh
Title: One Day Closer To You
Author: Meesh
Email: steps.mna@ntlworld.com
Category: Romance
Season: Season 4
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: G
Warnings: none
Summary: Sam and Jack reflect on their week away- but does Sam really love him?
Sequel to: Beneath The Surface and It's Only Fishing
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
One Day Closer To You
Sam stared, glassy eyed at the glowing computer screen. Her mind wandered. She couldn't help but smile as she recalled how much fun her weeks leave with Jack had been. They'd fished, walked, talked. Most importantly, they had been themselves. There was no military bravado when you were in the woods of Northern Minnesota. They had no secrets from one another now. Their thoughts, feelings, emotions; all of it had been laid bare. They knew that they wanted to be with one another. That despite Air Force regulations, the danger of their jobs, his obsession with fishing and her work-a-holism; that through all of that, they wanted to be together. Sam knew the only thing stopping them openly announcing their relationship was their positions within the Air Force. She had wondered if she was too scared to lose her job, but now realised that if it came to it, she would leave SG1 for Jack. A voice cut through her thoughts,
"Carter, Hammond wants to see us in the briefing room." Sam blinked and looked up. Stood in the doorway, dressed in his blue fatigues. Sam's heart skipped a beat, but she managed to stifle a smile, as she spotted the airman stood behind Jack, watching them. "Why?" she asked innocently, as she snapped her laptop shut and pushed her chair back. Jack shrugged. Sam slid of her chair and her legs gave way from under her. She grabbed the table edge to steady herself, Jack rushed and grabbed her arm. "You ok, Major?"
Sam nodded and stood up,
"Been sat down too long, I guess I stood up too quick." They walked up to the briefing room in silence, avoiding eye contact. Jack thought about Carter's faint, he knew it wasn't as simple as getting up too fast but he couldn't say anything whilst they were on base. Sam however spent the walk up to the Generals office worrying- she was convincing herself that somehow someone had found out about her and Jack, about what had really happened on their weeks' leave in the mountains. As they entered the briefing room, Sam let out a silent sigh of relief, Daniel and Teal'c were sat at the table, with General Hammond at the head. Jack and Sam seated themselves in the remaining spare chairs and listened to what the General had to say.
It had been a standard mission briefing, standard as far as mission briefings went anyway. Sam sat in her lab going over her mission report. She'd typed it up and was all ready to have it printed and on General Hammond's desk before she left for the evening. She printed it off and snapped her laptop shut. As she walked along the corridor of level 26 to the briefing room she passed Janet in the hall. "Hey." Janet greeted her.
Sam offered a smile and continued walking. Janet jogged to catch up. "Something wrong?"
Sam shook her head and continued walking. Janet grabbed her arm, "Sam?"
Sam stopped and looked at her friend. She bit her lip, "Can I come over tonight?" Janet nodded, a concerned look crept across her normally emotionless features. "I'm OK, honest, just need to talk." Sam whispered, as if almost ashamed of admitting she needed someone else's help for a change. "Ok, I have to drop Cassie off at a party at seven but you can come over any time after that OK?" Sam nodded and continued walking to the General's office. She entered the familiar briefing room, pausing a moment to look around her. The room was eerily quiet, she walked to the large glass window which over looked the Stargate situated two floors below. The gate room was empty, not even the technicians were around, she expected that only a few would be left on base- overnight security personnel mainly. Sam didn't notice the reflection of General Hammond in the glass as he entered behind her. "Is everything alright Major?"
Sam jumped and spun round, "Yes, Sir, I just brought my report up." The General walked towards her and looked down at the Stargate. "Major, it never ceases to amaze me," he gestured down at the Stargate. Sam smiled, "I guess that makes two of us Sir!" She turned to face him and held out her report. "Well I'm off home now Sir, see you tomorrow." He took the report, nodded and Sam left.
She hurried down to the locker room and changed into her civvies. Halfway through changing Jack walked in, "Oh, sorry Sam didn't know you were in here." He grinned, and shut the door. She pulled her blouse on over her vest top and shrugged her leather jacket on. "Jack not now, I'm tired I promised Janet I'd go over and see her, she wants to talk, Cassie's out, we'll probably just have a girls night in." She grabbed her bag and made for the door. He bent down to kiss her but she moved away. "Not on base." She scolded and left.
Sam changed at home into a comfy pair of jeans, pulling on a baggy sweater instead of the figure hugging blouse she had been wearing. She drove over to Janet's slowly, she knew she was earlier than she had promised but she was hoping to get to say hi to Cassie at least. She pulled up at Janet's house just as Janet and Cassie were getting in the car. "Sam!" Cassie exclaimed and dashed across the drive. Sam embraced the girl and stood back, admiring her 'daughter'. She was dressed in a long black dress, her curly hair had been expertly tamed and feel in precise ringlets down the side of her face. Sam smiled, "You look beautiful." Cassie blushed.
Sam looked up at Janet and smiled.
"Sorry I'm early, I wanted to see Cassie." Janet smiled back, "That's ok, let yourself in I'll be back in 5 minutes." Janet tossed Sam her house key and directed Cassie back into the car.
Sam let herself into Janet's house and flipped the hall light on, it was growing dark as evening settled in. Sam wandered through the familiar house to Janet's kitchen. She instinctively went to the fridge, finding a small selection of beer stowed in the bottom. Sam grinned, she knew Janet hated beer, preferring wine. She only kept it in for Sam's benefit. She pulled a bottle of beer from the fridge and opened it, she gulped down a mouthful of the frothy beer and leaned back against the counter. She stared out the window, watching a cat stalking across the back yard, chasing wasps that lingered in the early twilight.
She wondered why she had suddenly felt the need to come and see Janet. she hadn't actually told Janet any of what had happened at the cabin in Minnesota. Sam laughed to herself, wondering if a guilty conscience had led her to seek out Janet's advice. Its not like they hadn't gone against orders before, but breaking the rules had always been for the good of earth. Not their own romantic lives.
Janet's voice broke Sam out of her trance like state. "Hitting the hard stuff then!?" Janet joked, walking into the kitchen and throwing her keys down on the work top and pulling her coat off. Sam smiled, Janet noted how anxious she looked. Janet produced a bottle of white wine and a glass. "You going to share that?"
Janet laughed and grabbed another glass. They walked round to the living room. Janet set the glasses down on the table and turned on a few of the lamps and sat back on the sofa. Sam curled up in one of the deep sided arm chairs, she curled up hugging her knees to her chest looking like a small child. Janet smiled at the notion and poured herself a glass of wine. She took a sip and looked across at Sam, she had nearly drained the bottle of beer dry. "So..." Janet began, looking at Sam. Trying to gauge her mood. Sam giggled, and buried her head in her lap. "What's so funny?"
"You have no idea what I've just spent the week doing do you?" Sam lifted her head, resting her chin on her knees, staring into the eyes of her best friend. Janet shook her head, wondering if that beer had gone to her friends head already. "Jack took me to Minnesota. We stayed in this log cabin in the mountains. It was really beautiful." Sam let out a sigh and drained the last remnants of her beer. "You went?" Janet didn't look as shocked as Sam had expected, she couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. She nodded, pouring herself a generous glass of wine. "Yeah, it was really idyllic Janet. We walked through the woods, he fished and I read a book. He forbade me from taking my laptop, and I'm glad he did. I may be completely snowed under in research projects now, but I wouldn't change a minute of it." Sam sipped her wine. Janet watched her friend, wondering why if she had just spent such a perfect week away with a close friend, she had felt the need to talk to Janet so urgently. Her tone earlier had been one of urgency, coming from someone who needed some advice. "If it was such a good week why did you look like you needed a shoulder to cry on earlier Sam?" Sam's smile faded, the familiar haunted look from earlier crept onto her face. She shrugged her shoulders. "Sam you can't do that, you came here to talk!" Janet protested, as much as she loved Sam, sometimes her best friend had the most annoying traits. Withholding information may be something she was trained to do in the special services but it really did have its down sides sometimes. "Sorry, well its just, we didn't only go fishing," Sam's voice trailed off, and her cheeks began to redden. Janet grinned knowingly.
"So you two finally got on with it then?" "What do you mean finally?" Sam looked alarmed. "Don't worry Sam I've known for a long time, its not hard to see he cares about you, a lot, and vice versa." This didn't calm Sam's fears.
"Do you think anyone else has realised?" Janet shook her head, as she took a sip of wine. Sam sighed in relief.
"So...." Sam hadn't got any reaction from Janet yet, and it was starting to worry her.
"So?" Janet drank more wine, watching her friend intently, she knew Sam was panicking inside, would she tell General Hammond, or would she keep it a secret. Janet knew that there was no choice, she could never betray her friend, but she did love winding her up sometimes, Sam was far too paranoid for her own good.
"Well. I mean it is against regulations, are you going to say anything? Because I wouldn't have told you if I thought you would, but," Sam's voice trailed off.
"Sam you know me by now, I won't tell General Hammond, even though I am a little envious!"
Sam nearly choked as Janet said the words. Janet? Envious of her? Oh sure everybody thought Sam was wonderful, the scientist who always found the solution to the problem. But no one would actually be jealous of her. She had no life so to speak. Most of her time was consumed by her job, she did love her work, but sometimes she wondered if there was something more to life than long shifts, irregular hours, and constant fatigue. Yet here was her best friend telling her that she was indeed jealous of her!?
"Why Janet?"
"Oh come on Sam! You can't tell me you don't realise that Jack is, I mean, was one of the most attractive men on base?"
Sam shook her head, she had never thought of Jack in that way. Sure he was handsome, and she loved that smile, but she had fallen in love with his personality. Looks to her had always been superficial. "The thing is," her tone changed dramatically, "we had a really great week, we both know we want a relationship. But since we got back, seeing Martouf yesterday, it was strange to say the least. I know its probably Jolinar's feelings that I'm feeling but I don't know if my feelings for Jack are mine, or Jolinar's or Thera's. It was all a big mistake. Maybe he was acting on impulse, or it was just the influence of the memory stamp. I can't explain it. He's also my CO and there's nothing stopping me if I liked Martouf." Sam felt a tear welling in her eye. She got up and headed into the kitchen on the pretence of getting more beer. They spent the rest of the night avoiding the subject of Sam and Jack's holiday. Instead discussing anything and everything else. Janet knew Sam had said as much as she was going to say for one evening and that pressuring her would only make her clam up more.
It was getting late and the wine had long since been forgotten, Sam had drunk more of Janet's beer, forgetting that she had driven over. When Cassie was dropped off from her party she came in and kissed both her mothers good night.
Sam took the opportunity to look at the clock.
"Oh my Janet, I have to be at work in 7 hours!" "I'm not letting you drive Sam, you've had way more to drink than is wise." "I'll call you a cab."
Janet picked up the phone and dialled.
Ten minutes later there was a soft knocking at the door, Sam gathered her bag and car keys, hugged Janet goodnight and opened the front door. Standing on the front step, stood Jack. Sam blinked and stared. He was stood in a pair of beige trousers, black T-shirt and his leather jacket. She turned to face Janet.
Janet shrugged her shoulders offering no apology. "I figured Jack could drive you home just as easily as any cab driver." Sam shot her friend a cold look, and sighed. "Thanks." She replied through gritted teeth. Janet laughed, "Go on, I'll see you in the morning."
Sam shot Janet another look, Janet had to bit her lip to prevent herself from bursting into a fit of giggles.
Wordlessly she followed Jack to his car, he clicked the alarm off and jumped into the front seat. Sam climbed into the passenger seat and sat, arms crossed across her chest, staring out the windscreen. Jack put his keys in the ignition and started the car. He glanced across at her, he couldn't read her face, she had adopted a neutral expression.
He raised an eyebrow before starting to drive.
"Janet tells me you're confused about where we stand?"
"Janet's wrong." Sam stated flatly, turning to look out the side window, making it impossible for Jack to see her face as he drove.
"Oh I don't think so Sam, she's your best friend."
"She's still wrong, like she was wrong to call you out this late."
Jack shook his head and refrained from commenting. When he pulled up at her house he turned the engine off.
"Sam can we talk?"
She bit her lip. "What about?"
"Inside."
Sam sighed and got out of the car, he followed her up the pathway and into her house. She flicked the lights on and went into her kitchen, she plugged the kettle in and watched as he took a seat at the breakfast bar. "So what do you want to talk about?" She asked, as she searched for mugs. "I think you know."
She spun round and turned to face him, resting her hands on the cold marble of the breakfast bar that separated them. "Do I Jack?" She practically spat the words at him. She turned away, ashamed at her anger. She spooned coffee into two mugs and watched the kettle boiling, willing it to boil faster. The kettle clicked off as the steam rose and she poured it into the mugs. She spooned sugar into his coffee as if she had been making it for him her whole life, knowing that he hated white coffee and always had 2 sugars. She smiled inwardly at this, she had only spent a week in his company but she had already picked up on the tiniest of details. She passed him the steaming mug and walked towards her living room, Jack rose and followed. They sat on the sofa next to one another, Jack resisted the urge to move closer and wrap an arm round her, like they had done so many times in the cabin. He knew something had been bothering her since they got back, she had been so defensive since that morning. When she had nearly fainted, she had been pushing him away all day. He figured that now probably wasn't the best of times to make a move on her. But he did want to know why she was acting so strange. "Sam, this morning, when you fainted, what was that about?" "I didn't faint." She said quietly, so quietly he strained to hear her words. "You almost did."
"But I didn't, I told you I was dizzy." "It's more than that, and you know it, why else would you rush to Janet's house?" "Because she's my friend Jack."
"Who also happens to be your doctor?"
Sam knew he was right, she had wanted to talk to Janet about her health. But it hadn't been the right time. Sam knew she had spent the past few years running herself into the ground. Her week away with Jack had taught her that much. It had been so long since she had spent a week's leave relaxing, without a thought for her research. Usually when SG1 were granted leave she stayed on base- catching up on work she had no time to finish.
"I'm just tired Jack."
Jack grinned. "Sorry about that, thought you had more stamina!" He chuckled. She blushed and elbowed him in the ribs.
"I wasn't talking about that, and you know it!" She laughed. "After our week away, I felt good, like I knew what I wanted. But coming back to work, all my emotions have got confused again. Seeing Martouf, its made me wonder whose feelings and emotions are actually the ones with the influence over my decisions. I know that when we first met, no matter how much I liked your sense of humour and, well, how good you looked, there would have been no way I would ever have even dreamed of a relationship. And all of a sudden I find myself saying it out loud, admitting it to myself, the fact it coincides with a memory stamp that changed who we were. Its not just coincidence Jack."
Sam's words choked as a lump rose in her throat.
Jack set his coffee cup down on the table. He took Sam's hands in his.
"Are you saying that you don't want this?"
Sam looked into Jack's eyes.
"It just feels so wrong."
"Sam can you remember any of what we said last week?" "Of course I can..." He put a finger to her lips and kissed her. "Then it doesn't matter. We will work something out. You are exhausted, a week wasn't enough time was it?" Sam shook her head, knowing full well that she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. "Listen Sam, you know me, I'm no doctor or scientist, and I sure as hell not good with words. But I know that you aren't solely being influenced by the memory stamp, and Jolinar would never have feelings for me, so you can't fool yourself or me any longer." He pushed her hair behind her ears and looked into her eyes. "You're scared aren't you?" he asked as he caressed her cheek. "I'm not scared to loose my job, sure I love my work, but there's something I love much more that would kill me if I lost you." Her last word came out as a tiny whisper, as she looked up into Jack's eyes, she could see nothing but love reflecting in them.
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Meesh
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