I'm Invisible. Can you see me?
by Staraice
Title: I'm Invisible. Can you see me?
Author: Staraice
Email: Staraice@hotmail
Category: Humor
Season: any Season
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Summary: Jack, invisibility and an unsuspecting Sam. (my first fic, be nice)
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
I'm Invisible. Can you see me?
He had been going to find a way to tell them really he had but then Sam had walked past and well he just couldn't resist. Knowing she couldn't see or hear him he walked behind her, following her into her lab. Time for some fun, standing near the wall he rubbed his hands together in glee gliding across the floor to stand just behind her. He extended his hand slowly and when he was just about to tap her shoulder she looked up. Looking right into his eyes she said askance "Sir?"
Shocked he just floundered as she frowned in confusion then shrugged mumbling almost inaudibly, "I could have sworn..." she shook her head slightly before turning around to continue work on her new project. How had she known he was there, he knew she hadn't seen him so he leant down really close and whispered in her ear the only way she reacted was to raise her hand in a shooing motion, he quickly drew back grinning. So, he thought, they can feel me. If I want to have a bit of fun I'll have to make sure I don't run into anyone.
SG-1 sat around the briefing table in various stages of boredom, Jack was not really listening Daniel was talking about some ancient civilization or another and he'd been lost after the first sentence. Sam was listening politely but kept glancing around the room restlessly.
Teal'c, well it was almost impossible to tell with him, or it would have been if he hadn't been playing with a ruebiks cube. He already had half done but Jack knew that if asked he could probably recite what Daniel had said word for word. Jack belatedly realized that Daniel wasn't speaking anymore he listened more attentively though when General Hammond started going through the mission brief.
They'd left at 0900 hrs for P3X-368 and Jack had been bored out of his wits but on a bright note he'd gotten to see Sam's reaction when she found that machine in Daniel's ruin. Her whole face had lit up. And they'd gotten two weeks down time after they'd gated home or rather, he and Teal'c had gotten down time. Teal'c had gone to visit his family in the land of light. Daniel and Sam wanted to keep working on their various projects.
He was just about to leave when he decided to drop in on Sam to offer her one last chance to come fishing. He was surprised to find her missing from her lab; the machine left lying there on the bench. He figured she'd probably just gone for coffee and picked up the machine.
There was a bright flash and the machine clattered on the bench, dropped in shock...
< PRESENT >
Sam just sat there staring into space for what seemed like ages, before rubbing her hands over her eyes tiredly. She sighed and put the device away before grabbing a bag, locking up the lab and starting down the corridor. Jack just followed blindly for once almost running into her when she stopped suddenly, OUTSIDE DANIEL'S DOOR. He leaned right over and breathed slowly on the base of her neck, she stiffened as a shiver went down her spine and turned around.
Once more she seemed to be looking straight at him, but then she shrugged and turned back to the door muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "Daniel". He was insanely jealous for a few seconds while she slowly pushed the door open to find Daniel lying asleep on his desk. She sighed irritably and crept up to him before shaking him lightly until he woke up.
"Huh?" He mumbled sleepily, "Sam?" She smiled gently and then said, "You're going to be late." His head shot up "What?" She grinned now shoving the bag at him, "Janet, you, dinner. In oh say 20 minutes." She replied innocently, the look on his face was priceless and she burst out laughing.
"You get dressed and I'll see if I can find your keys." She ordered, amusement colouring her voice as he scurried off into his bedroom. Sam walked over to Daniel's desk and halfheartedly tsk, tsked before rummaging in the drawers and eventually finding the keys about a second before Daniel came back out.
She shooed him out the door and into the elevators where Jack was left behind...
Stuck in the complex all night Jack did some experimentation. He found out that he could pick things up and that they were still visible unless small enough for him to cover fully with his hands. He contemplated torturing everyone but then he figured there was more of a chance of being caught, so seeing as he had already started bugging Sam he decided to focus his efforts on her starting wen she came through that front gate...
< 1100 NEXT DAY >
Sam walked into work in a fairly good mood when she felt a bug brush her cheek. She raised her hand to shoo it away and kept walking when it happened again, this time as she was nearing the elevator. She shook her head and stepped in to come face to face with Janet.
Jack couldn't help but laugh when he saw the way Janet kept staring at Sam who was now constantly shooing away 'imaginary' insects. He stopped brushing Sam's face and that's when she noticed the way Janet was staring at her. She frowned concerned, "Janet what's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" Janet's frown just deepened.
Sam got out before Janet could say anything about her behavior. Went down to her lab and started to work on that doohickey again, this time Jack just watched her, after an hour he got bored and went down the hall to see what Daniel was doing. He wandered back down soon to find Sam trying to work a kink out of her shoulder and he just watched her stretch a moment before he walked over there and started massaging her shoulders.
Daniel walked in to the lab seeing Sam lean back into an imaginary caress, he cleared his throat and she glanced behind her, then she shot up in the chair looking around her confused. " Uh, Sam did you want to go get something to eat? Before we go to the briefing Hammond called." Sam looked up, "Huh? Sorry I was kind of daydreaming I guess."
"Well you coming?" Daniel asked, turning to go out the door. Sam stood up and trotted after him, catching up a few steps outside her lab and walking with him, they split up in the cafeteria. Sam went to get the coffee and Daniel to get the food.
They picked their usual table and while Sam was busy Jack dumped the whole lot of pepper onto her food. Daniel was nattering on about something and she raised her fork to her mouth. Just as she was about to bite into the molten lava type hot food she paused... Jack was crushed before he realized she had just stopped to make a quick comment to Daniel before popping it in her mouth.
Halfway through chewing she stopped and her eyes watered, her face going red before she swallowed, the looks she sent Daniel could have killed if he had of been paying attention but he wasn't, which was probably a good thing. " I am going to kill you very slowly Doctor Jackson." Sam said in a vaguely predatory tone.
At this Daniel looked up, all innocence because in actual fact he was innocent but Sam didn't know that. Jack grinned, this was going better then he ever could've hoped. "What?" Daniel mumbled through a mouthful of food. "Don't play dumb Daniel I know you peppered my food, who else could've?" Daniel frowned and took some of her food. Jack choked; this was just too good...
Daniel's eyes widened and he spluttered for a moment before reaching blindly for his coffee. "Uh, Daniel..." Sam's warning trailed off as Daniel took a gulp of the coffee. "Ow, ow, ow." Sam winced in sympathy then looked down at her watch, frowned, looked back up and asked, "Uh, Daniel. What time did you say the briefing was?" Daniel still panting from the double dose of tongue burning just looked at her for a second, "I didn't and it's in 2 minutes." Her head snapped up, "Well let's go." She grabbed his shirt and pulled him down the corridor only letting go when they were in front of the briefing room.
Jack snuck in with them and realized that they had been late. Sam was never late, Hammond just raised an eyebrow and they sat down, Jack didn't really catch any of it but he had two of the most wicked ideas. The first he decided to implement then, he moved over to the drink dispenser and grabbed a few pieces of ice, he walked back over to a position behind Sam's chair and his hands almost went numb while he waited for his cue.
"Major?" General Hammond asked and he was the most shocked to see her jump out of her chair letting out a small squeal. She jumped and down, trying to put her hand up the back of her shirt she untucked her shirt finally getting the ice out of her top, but then she kept swatting at her face. When she stopped she took one look at everyone's faces and ran out of the room. Janet leapt up, "Sir permission..." She trailed off gesturing towards the door. "Permission granted." Janet was halfway out the door before he finished, Daniel close behind her.
Jack thought he'd apologize later. He just had to do one last thing before he told them, he'd always wondered what it would be like to dance naked in the gateroom...
Jack peeled off his clothes and padded down the hall to the control room were he quietly slipped down the stairs to the gate room. Where he proceeded to dance around and through the Stargate, he was having a merry old time and contemplated dragging Sam in to do the tango when...
The klaxon's started blaring, announcing unscheduled gate activation, luckily Jack wasn't near it at the time. The guards stormed in guns raised but everyone relaxed when Siler announced the arrival of the Tok'ra. Sam came through the blast doors and Jacob hugged her, Jack now skipping in circles around them.
He slowed down when he noticed Sam had turned a funny shade of red before she turned to face the wall Jacob seemed to be staring before he turned too. Jack got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and his feelings were confirmed when Sam peeled off her jacket and held it out behind her, "Here Sir." She mumbled. Then turned around, blushing but grinning evilly, "Payback's a bitch!"
General Hammond's deep voice came over the speakers. "Colonel O'Neill, what do you think your doing"....
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Title derived from Mystery Men. I would like to thank Angel and Anna for their parts in inspiring this story. I would also like to thank Jacky for her endless encouragement. And Anna again for helping edit. FEEDBACK: If you want to they would be appreciated but death threats have to be good to get through Anna
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Staraice