Procrastination 11: Bright Light!
Procrastination 11: Bright Light!
by Newromantic
Summary: SG1 are trapped on a terraforming planet. J&S are getting a bit too close and Daniel's being chased by a Furbee. Totally ridiculous and pointless story, but shippy as hell.
Category: Humor, Romance
Season: Season 5
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: sexual situations
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 04/01/03
Disclaimer: Not mine. My plans for world domination take up too much time for me to look after pets anyway.
Procrastination
Chapter 11: Bright Light!
Whatever it was, it pretty much came out of nowhere.
Daniel Jackson had been happily drying himself off in the heat of the midday sun when the creature stole up behind him and grabbed
His ass.
When he first heard the rustling and crunching of footsteps coming from the forest surrounding him he thought it was just Jack and Sam so he hadn't been too worried...at least at first. Then he remembered he was still butt naked and had turned quickly to make a grab for his clothes, intent on covering at least some of his dignity before the others arrived.
It was when he had quickly shucked on his pants and thrown his jacket over his shoulders that the creature made an appearance. Of course, he hadn't noticed it at the time as he was too busy bending over trying desperately to pull his socks over his still damp feet...an almost impossible task as the material does have a tendency to soak up the moisture and weld itself to ones skin.
So there he was, Doctor Daniel Jackson Ph.D., Archaeologist-stroke-linguist extraordinaire, madly hopping about like a rabid flamingo whilst simultaneously attempting the very complex task of remaining upright when this...this thing snuck up from the rear and grabbed what it would only be fair to describe as his 'pert buttocks'.
Naturally, Daniel jumped about three feet in the air, then landed with a rather surprised 'whumpf' on the softly carpeted ground. After regaining his composure he rolled onto his back, more than ready to give Sam or, God forbid, Jack the dressing down of their life.
In fact, by the time he was fully turned and his eyes were in focus once more, he had already thought of three (possibly four, but one was a little lame) perfectly respectable sarcastic remarks to throw at the pair. But of course the moment he got a good look at his attacker, all three (and a half) comments hid like cowards behind a rather more appropriate...yet slightly less genteel..."What the fu...?"
It giggled.
Whatever the hell it was actually giggled.
Apparently it found the use of expletives fairly humorous - which was probably a good thing, Daniel quickly decided, seeing as that was pretty much all his mouth could form right now (though naturally, in various different languages...).
They only stared at each other for a moment, but to Daniel it seemed at least a couple of hours must have passed by before he plucked up the courage to try and speak.
Apparently his vocal chords were on a Union break.
Somewhat frustrated, and temporarily mute, Daniel concentrated more on taking in every detail of the creature's appearance. It was small, cute and furry, with an overall look that was somewhat akin to the Mugwai's in the film Gremlins. It was about four feet tall, had pointy little ears, huge green eyes and a little black button nose. In fact, it was pretty much a winning candidate for the 'overwhelming cuteness in an Alien Species' award that the female nurses on base handed out each year. Of course, what with Sam's track record for tragic romances with said aliens, most candidates that visited the base ended up evil or dead. Subsequently, every year since it started, Teal'c had won by default.
Suddenly remembering the fact that as the linguist of the team, he really should say something, his vocal chords grudgingly put down their coffee and biscuits and went back to work, preparing themselves to begin the whole 'We come in peace' speech.
He got as far as "We come..." before the little bugger showed it teeth.
They were running.
That, Sam decided, was the reason she was panting. That was the reason for her flushed cheeks and pounding heart. And not because she had come within an inch of making out with her CO.
Which would have been bad.
On an alien planet...
Definitely bad.
...In the middle of a mission...
Really, really bad.
...Whilst Daniel was being savaged by what was without a doubt going to be a fifty foot monster with razor sharp fangs and claws that could rip you in half just by tickling you.
Maybe she should just court-martial herself now and save General Hammond the time and paperwork.
No. Save Daniel from his hundred feet tall, axe wielding, Vampiric and undoubtedly maniacal persuer, then she could flagellate herself properly - provided she could find an appropriate Birch tree, that is.
Jack arrived at the pool first. Seeing no sign of the elusive Doctor Jackson, he pointed to his left and took off in the other direction, calling over his shoulder an order to stay in radio contact.
Three minutes later and still no sign of the archaeologist - apart from a few footprints and a slightly damp sock - Jack and Sam met up in the centre of the clearing. Shaking his head Jack depressed the transmit button on his radio. "Daniel, come in."
Releasing the button, he received nothing more than static. He tried again.
"Daniel, this is Jack. Do you read?"
More crackling; then silence. "Oh, now he chooses to be quiet." The Colonel muttered under his breath. "Nice timing."
Sam walked quickly over to his position. "Did you find anything at all sir?"
"Sock." he replied quickly. "And some broken twigs." He pointed vaguely in the direction he had just searched. "I think he went that way"
Carter nodded and went to move off. Taking a step closer to her CO, she made as if to walk around him and
Tripped on a leaf.
Of course, she fell straight into the Colonel's steadying embrace, and looked down for a moment, wondering how the hell a person could actually manage to trip on something as innocuous as a leaf.
Pondering the finer points of forestry for a moment, but coming up empty, she raised her head to meet Jack's fiery gaze. Despite the urgency of the situation, time seemed to stop. Her breath caught in her throat and her hands tightened on the Colonel's sleeves as his brown eyes darkened and their mouths seemed drawn towards each other.
She could feel his warm breath washing over her upturned mouth, and her eyelids started to droop of their own accord; her hands rising to tangle in his short greying hair, unconsciously pulling his head closer to meet her half way.
All thoughts of Daniel and his - well, lets face it - probably harmless pursuer fled from her mind as she felt those wonderful fingers massage her back, pulling her body into closer contact with his. She could feel the burgeoning of his arousal pressed against her hip and oh, she just knew this was going to be
Daniel.
Daniel's voice.
Daniel's voice on the radio.
"Dammit!" Jack refused to let her go completely as he once again spoke into his radio...this time with a little less concern for his missing team mate.
"What?!"
Perched precariously in a tree only half a mile from the pool, Daniel blinked. Despite his situation he was a little taken aback by the less-than-friendly response from the Colonel. "Uh, hi." He said uncertainly. "You okay?"
"Where the hell are you Daniel?" Oookkaayyy, apparently Sam's mood wasn't any better.
"Well, I've been running away from a bunny with teeth." He replied sarcastically.
"This really isn't the time to get cryptic Danny." Jack mumbled absently, more interested in the fact that Carter still hadn't removed her hands from his hair and was currently running her fingers through the short strands, her eyes focussed entirely on his.
"Uh, guys? Guys, are you there?" Oh, right. Button.
Press button, then talk.
He did that. "Well where are you now?"
"In the forest. Up a tree." He paused for a moment. "I don't think they can climb.
This time he remembered the button. "They...?"
"Yeah. Apparently it made a few calls. Its entire family are now waiting at the bottom of the tree."
Jack sighed and reluctantly released his grip on the Major. There was a grinding sound over the radio that neither could place. "What's that noise?"
"Well..." Daniel replied slowly, "There's around a hundred of them down there, and they're all gnashing their teeth."
Ah.
"Ah." Jack sighed. "Stay put Danny, we're on our way." The now very frustrated pair turned and started walking in the direction Daniel had taken.
"Jack?" Daniel's disembodied voice appeared once more.
"Yeah?"
"Could you hurry it a little?"
"Sure, but I thought you said they couldn't climb trees."
"They can't." The archaeologist replied assuredly. "They appear to be eating the tree instead."
"Ah crap." Jack muttered. And they were running again.
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