Procrastination 14: A Crude Awakening
Procrastination 14: A Crude Awakening
by Newromantic
Summary: Blatantly shippy nonsense! Linked with Procrastination 13: Major Dilemma.
Category: Humor, Romance
Season: Season 5
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: sexual situations
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 05/07/03
Disclaimer: All characters from Stargate SG1 belong to someone else.
No, really.
Hey, I'm as surprised as you are.
A/N: I am so sorry for the delay, but I've been having a hell of a time with this story. I lost all inspiration for a while there, but I've got it back now so hopefully I'll be posting chapters more often!
This chapter's fairly short but I'm going to try and get 15 out by the weekend and thought maybe you'd all like a ship-fix in the meantime!
Thanks to everyone who emailed me asking when I was going to post this one. It was lovely to know people are enjoying it and wanted to read more.
Newromantic.
Procrastination
Chapter 14: A Crude Awakening
Something was tickling her ear.
Groggily, she tried to lift her arm in order to swipe irritably at her attacker but her arm didn't want to play ball. Who could blame it? After all, she was just So.Damn.Comfy/.
Her sleepy brain had quickly decided that seeing as she was in a soft bed rather than on hard ground, she must be at home and that the moist, ear-tickling attacker was her cat.
"Get off, Schrodinger." She murmured into her pillow. "I'll feed you in a minute."
Well that seemed to work and as quickly as the tickling had appeared, it was gone again - but not before leaving a very uncomfortable trail of moisture around her earlobe.
There was no way she could go back to sleep with a slobbery ear. Sighing dramatically Sam flung herself onto her back and slowly opened her eyes.
She blinked.
Well this was...
"Uh..."
"Morning Carter."
She blinked again and turned her head in the direction of her commanding officer's voice.
Okay, well she'd experienced this little dream on more than one occasion, but never before had her subconscious transported her to the bedroom from hell.
Her mind gave a little shrug. May as well skip the introductions and get right to the crux of the dream sequence, Sam decided to herself as she regarded the Colonel with curiosity and said the only thing she could think of to say - under the circumstances.
"Morning sir."
Then she jumped him.
Now it's not that Jack had a problem with being pounced on by a beautiful woman, especially not when it came to this beautiful woman, it was just that...well...
Ah, hell.
"Uh, Carter..." he said, desperately trying to extract his left nipple from her mouth without causing permanent damage, "It's not that I'm not completely loving this, but...murgle."
His hands grasped the purple under-sheet in surprise. Yeah, she was definitely heading south. He had to stop her. Right now. Right...er...
Apparently she had decided she would be more comfortable if she straddled his hips, which was...fine with him.
But despite this wonderful wake-up call, variations of which he had fantasised about many times over the past five years, he was still vaguely aware that this would not bode well in the eyes of the military and in all honesty, the way she was going, he wasn't going to be able to hold off much longer. Already he was painfully...awake...and ...
Carter moved again, causing Jack's erogenous zones to stick two fingers up the military and wave a little white flag at the woman currently occupying his lap.
Okay, it's not as if he was any kind of Don Juan, but in his fairly extensive experience regarding male - female sexual relations, never in his life had a woman been quite so imaginative with his belly button, and never before had a woman's tongue in that part of his anatomy rendered him speechless.
Still, she was pretty talented with that tongue. And besides, who was he to complain? Obviously she thought she was still dreaming and Jack was pretty sure he had read somewhere that it was dangerous to wake a sleepwalker.
After all, that was basically what she was doing, sleepwalking.
Kinda.
He groaned involuntarily as she licked her way from belly back up to chest and once again started sucking his nipple. Her hands were on a mission of their own, wandering over the hard planes of his stomach and up over his arms. They were still covered by the sheets on the bed and the fact that she was leaning into him meant that he could only feel, rather than see her breasts.
Which was probably for the best.
His eyes seemed to disagree with this opinion and kept trying to catch glimpses as she shifted and moved and ground against him.
Well his mind control and black op's training never covered this and for once he had absolutely no idea what the hell to do.
Still, when in doubt, surrender.
He grabbed her hips and pushed her down onto his thighs as he rose up to meet her, grinning in undisguised glee as she gasped and groaned against his nipple.
Just as Jack's libido was beginning to overrule his conscience, Sam stopped mid suckle and slowly released his poor aureole with a wet plop. "That's weird." She said more to herself than to him.
Automatically he looked down at his chest, panic in his eyes and paranoia settling nicely in his stomach. "What is?"
Sam started flicking his nipple with her fingernail. Not an entirely unpleasant experience and one which he decided to suffer - for her benefit, of course.
She shifted slightly on his lap, making Jack groan in...PAIN! Yes, pain. That was it. Pain. Right. Oh yeah, he was such a martyr.
And she was still talking. Why was she still talking?
Wholly resisting the urge to grab her hips and make her wriggle just a little more, he blinked and shook his head slightly to try and clear the libidinous mist threatening to engulf him. She was looking confused now. Not a good sign. "Normally in my dreams you taste like...Oh God"
For a fleeting moment Jack wondered if it was scientifically possible for ones eyes to grow that large without falling out of the sockets.
Slowly, veeerrrrryyyy slowly, Sam extracted herself from Jack's tight grip and rolled off of him, back onto the bed.
"Uh, not dreaming, am I?" she asked as she tried to get her breathing under control.
"Nooo." Jack agreed, not daring to look at her.
Sam started fiddling with the purple sheet. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked quietly.
Okay, now that was a stupid, stupid question. One he had absolutely no answer to...unless you count the replies that were likely to get him hurt.
There was a sudden knock at the door, and Jack sighed in relief. Despite the fact that they had been taken against their will, he still had the overwhelming urge to hug the next person that walked through the door.
That is, until he actually saw the next person who walked through the door.
Then he changed his mind.
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