Going Ancient - Part 14 - Chosen Heart Series
Going Ancient - Part 14 - Chosen Heart Series
by HailDorothy
Summary: Read between the lines. What were Jack and Sam really thinking and feeling after Jack went Ancient? This novella is meant to fill in the plot holes until Jack entered the Antarctic deep freezer. Includes original script with introspection and missing scenes.
Category: Angst, Filk/Song, POV, Romance, Series
Episode Related: 711 Evolution, 713 Grace, 715 Chimera, 716 Death Knell, 717 Heroes, 719 Resurrection, 721 Lost City
Season: Season 7
Pairing: Team, Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: adult themes, language, sexual situations, none
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2004-11-02
Title: Going Ancient, a novella of the Chosen Hearts Series Author: HailDorothy Email: gwichman1@new.rr.com Season: 1- 7 Spoilers: 721 & 722 The Lost City Part 1 & 2 Rating: PG-13 Warning: Pure S/J! Usual SG-1 language, some swearing, mild sexual content Pairing: S/J Friendship, Comfort, Romance, Angst, humor
Summary: Read between the lines. What were Jack and Sam really thinking and feeling after Jack went Ancient? This novella is meant to fill in the plot holes until Jack entered the Antarctic deep freezer. Includes original script with introspection and missing scenes.
Author's Note: With a few obvious exceptions I hold true to canon. Suggest you first read 'Charade' followed by 'Conflict of the Heart', 'Carter's Humming', 'Carter's Snookered,' 'We're Okay,' and 'O'Neill's Humming' They precede, 'Going Ancient'.
Summary: The 'Chosen Hearts Series' is an established storyline in which Jack and Sam fell in love during Jack's retirement. When Jack is re-commissioned and Sam inadvertently assigned his subordinate, they pretend to be strangers and put their wannabe lovers relationship on hold. Little do they realize it will not be a matter of months, but years, before they can follow through on the desire of their hearts.
Song lyrics used: 'A Little Luck of Our Own,' Keith Urban, lyrics: Lisa Dale Daniel/Gary Burr (c)1999 'Always On My Mind,' Elvis Presley, lyrics: Wayne Carson Thompson (c) 1977 'Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue,' Crystal Gale, lyrics: Richard Leigh (c) 1977 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go,' Whitney Houston, lyrics: F. Wildhorn, C. Jackson (c)1987 'Strawman' Nit (No songwriter or copyright found) 'Immortality' Celine Dione, lyrics: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb, Marice Gibb (c) 1997
Beta: Special thanks to Carol Sue and Susie for their time and hearts, believing in this series and especially JC. Carol Sue thanks for Shakespeare. Special thanks to God Almighty. You gave me the gift of the bards.
Disclaimer: All publicity recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This series may include script excerpts from the TV Series 'Stargate SG-1.' This fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of said author, HailDorothy 2004 (c).
Feedback: Gosh, darn, don't make me beg! Pretty Please??? Starvation of this writer's muse is no pleasant sight. All feedback is food for thought and well digested. "Feed me, Seymour!" (The Little Shop of Horrors)
~*~
'GOING ANCIENT' or 'I DID IT AGAIN!'
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. 'Macbeth,' Act v. Sc. 5. Shakespeare
'Yep, that was Jack O'Neill's life all right . . . a lot of nothing!'
CHAPTER ONE
'When I Woke Up This Morning You Were On My Mind . . .' Mamas' and the Papas
Saturday: 0745
Jack tossed on top his bed and cursed. Some moron was knocking at his door. Not that he'd been asleep. He'd showered, shaved and dressed hours ago, then belligerently dropped back on the bed willing himself to sleep, to forget the prophetic nightmare that had scared the living crap out of him. Another clap from his door's knocker forced him off the mattress catching the reflection of his haggard features in the dresser's mirror. "They'll have to deal," he muttered. On the third knock, he swung open the door.
"Hi, Sir." Samantha Carter's sunshine face greeted him way too early in the morning.
"Carter?" She was alone. His heart jumped its way into his throat as her blue gaze swept over his rumpled loose fit clothes.
"Did I wake you?"
"Sort of."
"I couldn't sleep at all last night," her voice trembled. She looked and sounded as tired he felt.
"You should have called." 'And were I not a proud jerk, I'd have called you.'
"I didn't want to bother you, I-" She shrugged.
"Um . . ." He swept his hand with invitation, enjoying the view allowed him by her black skirt and sandals. Sam's bare legs! She smiled and walked into the foyer. 'Say something, lamebrain!'
"I was looking at the sky. Trying to figure out how many stars we'd actually been to." Jack shut the door. Honestly he'd stargazed and thought of all they'd done and never would. Everyday stuff. Never! Make love? Never! Make babies? Never! Too many freaking nevers! Jack had really wanted a second chance at normalcy with Carter. Jamming his fists into his pockets, he held her blue eyes determined to not look away, to memorize every facet of this beautiful strong willed woman. His Sam.
"Actually, only a few of the stars visible from Earth have Star Gates on them, so . . ."
"I knew that." He scrunched his face and smiled slightly.
"Yeah." She blushed and eluded his unblinking stare.
"Hammond send you by to check on me?" He scratched his lower back.
"No!" Sam's gaze flitted about.
This take-charge woman, who'd chewed his butt over a crossword puzzle, flailed a fisted hand against her thigh, her habitual gesture when on edge. There'd been a time this was exactly what they'd wanted, to be alone together. When had that stopped with her, with him? When had they become uncomfortable alone?
"It's funny really. I was out driving you know . . .in my car, and I um," she laughed nervously. "I drove here," she chuckled again. "Yeah . . ."
His brows shifted and he sniffed. "Funny," he mocked.
"Yeah." She looked up and smiled with those baby blues.
"There's coffee around here . . .I think." A lie and excuse to get a grip. He hightailed it to the kitchen and glanced back through the open partition between the dining and living rooms, opened the refrigerator and sucked a breath. 'Relax. It's Sam. The woman you love more than life. Whoa! Isn't that the truth? Okay, be yourself. Not rude. Crude. Don't shut down. Take your time. You've all day. Oh yeah, coffee.'
"Maybe not," he called out. "How about a beer?" 'Geez, Jack, nothing like impressing the lady with beer before 0800.'
"Sure, why not," she called back.
'Okay, so she's easy.' More confident, Jack walked through his dinning room, uncapped one Guinness and flicked the cap that crash-landed in the corner. He'd have to do his weekly cap collection before tomorrow. He opened the second bottle and found Sam in the living room perusing his collection of family photos.
He peeked at the bottles then pointed toward the kitchen. "Wanna glass? I can wash one." He held up her beer.
"No I'm fine." She took the cold bottle. "Thank you, Sir."
Jack winced at her formality, but nodded. She seemed more relaxed.
"So do you ever talk to her?" Sam pointed to a photo with Sara, Charlie and himself.
"Can we not talk about that?"
"Sorry." She smiled, trying to be upbeat, "How you feeling?"
"Can we not talk about that either?" Flat out frustrated, he walked around her and dropped onto the sofa where he braced his beer between his splayed legs. 'Patience, old man! She's as nervous as you.'
"Okay." She blew out, turned and came to stand a few feet away. "What do you want to talk about?" She looked down at him smiling, waiting.
He looked at her and opened his mouth. His voice stuck in his throat. 'Read my mind, Sam!'
Sam's gaze settled on the open CD case on the coffee table. Jack inwardly cursed. It was the Whitney Houston Greatest Hits CD she'd given him six years ago for his birthday. The CD with their song, 'Where Do Broken Hearts Go.' The song he'd had on replay all night. At least it hadn't been playing when she showed.
Sam's smile faded. Obviously seeing the CD affected her. "You want to be alone." She set her beer on the coffee table. "This was a bad I . . .should go," she gestured, but didn't turn away.
"Finish your beer." Jack gestured at her untouched bottle, hoping she'd get his cryptic message.
She took a deep breath.
He glanced up. "And then you have to wait at least an hour before you drive." He looked away and flicked the cap across the room. 'Bet, that impressed the socks off her.' Jack felt her gaze and glanced up, trying to form his next unintelligent comment. Instead, he gripped the bottle's neck tighter, fearing he looked more distant than ever.
Ironically she smiled.
"Sir?" She sat next to him, close enough to inhale the floral fragrance of her shampoo that made him feel and think about Carter the woman. He fidgeted. She was staring at him.
"What?" he asked softly.
A silent exchange passed between them.
"I should have done it." Sam looked him head on.
"What? Stuck your head in that thing? You nuts?" He sniffed, glanced down and licked his lips. "Carter?" He faced her. "You're one of this country's natural resources . . . if not national treasures."
She blushed and looked at her lap.
"It couldn't have gone down any other way." Sam glanced over and he held her resolute blue gaze. "I just hope . . .it's worth it." He nodded and sipped his Guinness. So worth never having you as my lover and wife, nah, nothing's worth that!
Shaking her head, Sam got annoyed with him. "Even if we did find the Lost City." Their gazes were locked. "Even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet- "
"That . . .would be worth it." Yeah, he could live with that, die with that, like he had a freaking choice! But Carter would live and that was worth everything. He took another swig.
Jack's abruptness seemed to deflate her. Sam lowered her head. Why couldn't he just come out and say it? His heart said she had been about to say something significant, profound and personal. Jack dropped his wall. Sam glanced up and held his vulnerable expression, held it, caressed it and saw into his soul. The words were on his lips, those three intimate words that could change everything and then . . . The Daniel Jackson's, 'Shave-and-a-Haircut,' tapped on his front door.
Sam startled and then expelled a heartrending breath. Crap! He stared back with disappointment and longing. Sam closed her eyes as their personal lives got scudded one more freaking time! ~*~
CHAPTER TWO
'I Went To A Garden Party To Reminisce With My Old Friends . . .' Ricky Nelson
They had all left, including Sam. Actually she'd been the first to leave, mumbling about having to check in on Cassie. Yeah, like he'd bought that excuse. Cassie was in college hanging with friends. Auntie Sam dropping by the dorm so not cool.
Jack tried to determine just why she'd made the hasty retreat. He admitted he got preoccupied with who inherited his Simpson collection, but he'd thought Sam had been enjoying his obsession that the carton series represented real life. Meanwhile Daniel got snookered and Teal'c got deep. Even before that, he and Sam had laughed and shared long looks he thought were personal, then again, the woman was a constant contradiction.
Hammond's unexpected visit and announcement that he'd been replaced as CO of SGC had knocked the wind out of everyone's already deflated sails. Jack however, was not going down with the ship. He did his best to stay positive and witty. Having Sam close made it easier. They even had an encounter in the kitchen and it was like whoa! Jack was getting out bowls, spoons and his fork, while Sam retrieved the ice cream from the freezer.
The lid had frozen fast to the carton and Jack stepped over to help pry it off. The moment their fingers touched it was bombs away! Jack blatantly slipped his hand over hers and held on. He swore the earth moved. They'd stood face to face looking into each other's eyes so intimately, it felt like they'd kissed. He recalled how she puffed out the corner of her sweet mouth, tucked her chin in and said softly, "I need to tell you, I'm still- "
"Hey, guys, where's that Rocky Road?" bellowed a tipsy Daniel who stumbled into the kitchen. Crap, Danny, Jack thought as he gave Sam's hand a final squeeze when she blushed, then looked away.
Fifteen minutes later, Sam finished her ice cream and insisted she had to check on Cassie. The rest of the day was crash and burn. From the moment Sam left, Jack became the host from hell. It didn't take long for Daniel and Teal'c to decide the party was over.
Could the remains of the evening get worse? A firm rap at his door made Jack doubt that. He didn't want company. On the other hand it could be Sam. It wasn't.
"Hi ya, Jack? So how's it hanging?"
"None of your business, Jonathon. And how many times have I told you that's gross, even to me?"
"Um, sorry, peer pressure you know."
"Whatever."
The last person Jack expected to find on his doorstep was his min-version or scientifically put, clone, Jonathon O'Neill. With the Anubis threat, Jack hadn't been home enough to see anyone outside the SGC in two months. This meant his biweekly visits with Jonathon had also taken a backseat. Yeah, they'd first agreed not to keep in touch, but ironically neither could let go. So they came to a truce. Jack would be the big jerk, older brother and Jonathon well he'd just try to deal. So far it worked.
Now Jack stared at the youth. He seemed to have grown taller and the zits were clearing up. Jonathon was a good-looking kid even if Jack wouldn't say so himself.
"Come on in." He left the door open and turned toward the living room. Nodding, Jonathan acted like he owned the place, and went for the kitchen and leftover pizza. Jack had long stopped taking offense to the teenager's, I live here, attitude. After all, they were the same person, well sort of.
"How's school?" Jack settled back on the couch, staring at the collection of empty pizza boxes, beer bottles and ice cream bowls.
"Same old, same old," Jonathon called back, as the refrigerator door slammed shut harder than necessary.
"Hey, wash your hands first . . .with soap!" Jack responded.
The teen grumbled.
Jack smiled when he heard the tap run. A minute later his younger half plopped beside him with the remains of a garbage pizza and a huge glass of milk.
Jack had yet to get over this younger version of him. Squinty brown eyes, a flat thin mouth with no upper lip . . .still, a mouth that thirty-four years later, Samantha Carter desired to kiss. Boyish dimples, and the hint of the stress line centered between his dark brows that would deepen and lengthen with age. An average nose and not so average short brown, natural spiked hair. Well at least Jonathon filled the present hairstyle fad.
"Glad to see you're eating healthier, Jack." He pointed to the fresh milk. "But isn't that the same expired jar of salsa you had when I crashed your world?"
Jack frowned. "If you read the label, you'd know this expiration date is just three month old."
"Yeah, like I'm impressed." Jonathon rolled his chocolate eyes and shoved an entire slice down his gullet.
The kid was a human vacuum cleaner.
"So not feeling good?" He noted the uncapped bottle of Tylenol on the coffee table.
"Fron ache." Jack rubbed his throbbing temples.
"What?"
"What?" Jack looked at Jonathon's dubious expression.
"You just said fron. Sounds Latin."
"Didn't.'
"Did."
"Geez, Jonathon, I can only handle one Daniel exchange a day. Just under the weather's all."
"Or one too many brewskies?" The teen waved his last slice at the bottles on the coffee table.
"Had company."
"A uh." Jonathon nodded with his mouth full.
"So, how's hockey practice?"
"Fine. Now can we cut the beauty salon chitchat and talk man to man?" He downed his milk, leaving a white mustache that Jack decided not to point out.
"Man to man? 'bout what?" Jack was getting irritated with himself, well with the other him.
"I know you're going Ancient again, okay?"
"Oh that," he shrugged. "No biggy. Been there. Done that." He looked at the warm bottle of beer between his splayed legs. It was no doubt flat as he'd not drunk in hours.
"Yeah, well even I wouldn't have been dumb enough put my head in that wall blender twice."
"Had to have been there."
"Yeah, I so do miss the action," he sighed out, and then looked closely at Jack. "Ya know you're probably going to meet your Maker this time?"
"Yeah, well there's that. But I'm ready. Went to confession yesterday, been praying a lot. . . Ya know I believe in Jesus and well, ya know?" Jack swallowed, realizing how vital his chosen religious belief was to him now. Wished he'd finished listening to the Bible on tape. Well, he'd know how it's going to end sooner than most.
"Geez, course I do, Jack."
"Yeah, guess ya would. You still do believe in God?" Jack gave him a worried paternal look.
Jonathon nodded. "Jack, this is me . . . you," Jonathon's hands directed traffic between them. "I'm glad you're right with the Big Guy, and all. That'd be on the top of my grocery list too. But I know what else you're thinking. In fact, I know exactly which person you're thinking about."
"Since I'm talking to you, myself and I, that would be three people right?" Jack snuffed.
"Will you quit with the wisecracks?"
"Okay." He sobered. "Apparently you didn't come to enjoy my bubbly personality or help with physics. So why ya here?"
"Sam of course." Jonathon picked the dish nearest Jack and removing the fork, drank the melted ice cream.
"Oh." He'd almost forgotten that Jonathon retained all Jack's memories up until last year, including everything about Sam. If there was anything Jack would have asked Loki to erase from the kid's memory, that would have been number one on his list, well that, Sara and Charlie's death. "For the record, she's well taken care of in my will. So are you."
"Jack!" The kid scrubbed his face and growled.
"What?"
"You are so freaking emotionally repressed it's pathetic."
"Oh, and you're not?" He snorted, popped two more pills and then finishing off his beer clunked the bottle on the coffee tabletop.
"Actually, I'm working to correct that major personality flaw."
"Flaw!" Jack shot to his feet. "Just because a guy tends to be slightly inhibited- "
"Slightly! We're not talking about taking a wiz in public here. This is about your inability to tell the woman who means more to you than life, that you are in love with her."
"Hey, hey, she knows." He glowered.
"Oh, so you've told her?" Jonathon glared at him sharply. "And I don't mean that stupid evasive, 'we're forever okay' line.'"
"Well yeah sort of . . ."
"When?"
"Three years ago after the Zantarx thingy and after T and I nearly froze our assets on Apophis' death glider."
"Oh, the wedding on Chulak that you and Sam seem to have conveniently forgotten, ya know, vows before God as in, to death do us part yadda, yadda."
"Hey, I haven't forgotten, Pin Head! I assumed taking those vows with Sam made it crystal clear how I feel about her and there's been lots and lots of other times."
"Such as . . ."
"We've had our moments."
"This year?"
"Um . . ."
"For crying out loud!" Jonathon stood, mimicking Jack's frustrated body language. "And you wonder why she's dating that brownnose, Petty?"
"Hey, could we not talk about that?"
"Fine! I'm here to talk about you and Sam."
Jack leaned over invading Jonathon's space. "Then leave, hockey puck! Because I can take care of my own love life, thank ya very much." Jack stalked to the door, opened it and made a sweeping gesture for his guest to exit. Now!
Jonathon slammed the door shut and however much shorter, stood up to Jack. "Love life! You call coming home alone, eating takeout Chinese or worse Mexican, watching the Simpsons, CNN and then getting off on a picture of Carter, a love life?"
"Hey, I'm easy." He shrugged. His brows shot up. "And how'd you know about her picture?"
Jonathon rolled his eyes.
"Oh, yeah." Jack blushed, and then glared. "Hey, you're not . . .I mean you don't still have the hots for her?"
"Excuse me? I'm you! Ten years and counting in love with the same, beautiful, brilliant woman!"
"So freaking sorry," Jack sighed out.
"Yeah, I know," Jonathon's voice tightened, "I admit it's been rough, but I'm dealing better now." His face reddened and he glanced at his sneakers. "Beside, the age difference is a huge downer." He slouched against the dinning room wall, jammed his fists into his jeans, looked back at Jack and then sniffed a breath.
"Tell me 'bout it. Imagine how she feels." He tousled his messed hair and frowned.
"Ah, according to Thor, that's just the O'Neill's premature gray hair gene pool we're cursed with, hits around forty and makes us look older than we are."
"Quite a mouthful." Jack's lips tugged upward a fraction.
"Working on it." He smirked. "Anyway, it's different when the boy's older than the girl. And since Sam and I have gotten to spend time together, I know your age doesn't matter to her, never did."
"You mean you two are-"
"Talking. Yeah. Got a problem with that?"
"No! Okay. Yeah, I do." Jack scratched his whiskered jaw.
"Hey, stop thinking sicko stuff, like Sam robbing the cradle. She'd never do anything that perverse!"
"That's not what I meant."
"Whoa, good. On the other hand, I still intended to court her when we thought I was you. Man, the way she'd look at me and touch me- "
"I so don't wanna hear this!" Jack shoved his fingers in his ears and started humming.
"Sorry. Anyhow. We're just good friends now. We've worked out the issue of the history you two had, have. And don't talk about it, unless something triggers it. Mostly, we talk life, aerodynamics and school, although you do tend to popup in the conversation a lot." He grinned and winked.
"Really?" Jack dropped his hands to his sides.
"Geez, Jack, that hot blue-eyed fox is still in love with you!"
"Sure?"
"Man, for someone going Ancient you really are dense."
Jack's gaze narrowed with warning.
"Yeah, she prefers the cantankerous older O'Neill, to the adorable younger one." He smirked.
"Sweet." He looked at his stocking feet noting his left big toe had worn a hole.
"Still, she's a hard act to follow." Jonathon patted Jack's shoulder and sighed.
"Yeah. Tell me about it. I've really tried to let go, to deal. Can't."
They looked reflectively at each other and nodded in unison. Like it or not, Jonathon knew exactly how Jack felt. There should be solace in that. If anything, Jack felt worse. The poor kid was just as hung up on Sam as he was. Jack hoped that someday Jonathon would be able to move on and find happiness with someone else. But who could top Carter? No one.
Jack ambled back to the sofa, collapsed, tossed his head back and closed his tired eyes. He was barely aware when Jonathon settled beside him and mimicked his actions. Neither spoke for a while.
"You gotta tell her, Jack. Like I'd highly suggest you put your O'Neill ownership brand on Sam before that download fries your brain and glues your tongue to your mouth."
"O'Neill brand? Geez, kid, she's a human being not a slab of meat!" Jack growled.
"Wow! I meant branding in the emotional and romantic sense."
"Oh," he mouthed reflectively. "Well I tried this morning, till the rest of the rat pack crashed the party." Jack rolled his head to the side and eyed the youth now sitting upright staring at him.
"Heard about that."
"Excuse me?" He straightened and looked over. "How do you manage to know everything going down in my life let alone within hours of it happening?"
Jonathon shrugged. "Like you should talk. Next time you decide to attend a parent teacher conference, impersonating my . . .our dad, let me in on it, will ya? Nothing more embarrassing than finding out second hand."
"And you better pull a C in Basic Physics, kid, or the only thing you'll be flying is a paper kite."
"Hey, trying. You know I don't get any of that XYZ to the tenth power crap. By the way, Ms. Alan thinks you're a babe."
"Really?" Jack wagged his brows. "She's not too hard on the eyes herself."
"Yeah, ya should see when she bends over-"
"Hey, hey!" Jack slugged him playfully. "Stop shifting gears, half-pint."
Jonathon smirked. "Like I said, got my ways." He glanced at his watch. "Gee, got a date and a movie tonight. Actually she dropped me off and should be arriving soon."
Lights flickered in the window as a car pulled into Jack's driveway and parked behind his truck.
"Yep, punctual as ever." Jonathon shot to his feet and headed for the door.
"On a school night?" Jack followed and flipped on the outdoor lights that lit up the driveway and front lawn.
"It's Saturday, Jack."
"Like I said, a school night," he ribbed.
"Teacher's conference Monday. Lot of study time."
"Oh." Suspicious, Jack made a mental note to check Jon's school calendar. "A real date, huh?"
"Yeah. Been seeing each other a long time." He winked suggestively.
Jack glanced out the entrance window spotting a cute little blonde in the driver's seat of a vintage red mustang. "Long time? Hey, you've been here less than a year. You're suppose to be playing the field, chasing skirts."
"Yes well, what can I say? I'm a looker not a chaser."
"Peachy. Another chip off the old square block." Jack shook his head with regret. "I'd have thought you'd-"
"Nah, a one lady man and proud of it. Besides, she's everything I want in a woman."
"Whoa there, kid. You're sixteen. How would you know what you want in a woman?"
"Now that's a stupid question, even from you."
"Ya think?" Jack grinned. "So you two aren't . . .um?" He felt blood warm his face.
"Give me some credit, huh? If you and Sam can wait forever-not that we'll wait that long." He winked.
Jack scowled.
"What I mean is she's a good girl."
"Nice to know they're still some around."
"Yeah, we, I should say she, set ground rules. We've got high expectations for each other."
Jack had an eight-year flash back but brushed it off. "Slightly competitive are we?"
"Can't change everything and don't want to. You'll know why when you meet her. It's high school, college, Air Force Academy- "
"Cool!" Jack felt like a proud dad. "Both of you?"
"Yep. Then we tie the knot. That way not so many reg issues later."
"A ah." He nodded, wondering just how long this relationship would last, six months tops.
Opening the front door, Jonathon waved the teenage girl to the house. "She's been wanting to meet you for awhile now."
"She knows about us?" Jack got nervous.
"Enough to make it interesting."
"Dumb idea, Jon." Jack shook his head.
"Didn't have a choice. Besides The Powers That Be gave their approval."
"Really?" Jack was nervous and curious.
"But not about you going Ancient. Didn't want to do that to her, again."
'Huh?"
As Jonathon's girlfriend got out of the car, Jack noticed her long legs and shapely figure beneath jeans and a fitted red sweater. The moment she cut across the lawn under the yard lights, Jack went numb. Couldn't be? Nah!
"She can be shy, but is like one of this world's natural resources, got brains to spare and . . . " Jonathon put his arm around the ivory skinned, long, haired blonde who gave Jack the most breathtaking smile. One he intimately knew. His startled gaze fastened on her wide deep blue eyes. His jaw dropped open.
"Jack, I'd like you to meet Samantha Jean Carter, Samantha this is the other Jack O'Neill."
Jack leaned against the doorframe for support. For the second time today his mouth went dry and his throat constricted. He looked at Jonathon and then at the younger version of Sam. Oy!
"Hello, Jack," Sam's sweet voice addressed him.
"Sam?" he choked out.
"Yes and no. It took awhile to accept I'm not your Sam. So I prefer to be called Samantha, helps me be me, instead of her with others."
"Oh sure." Jack cleared his throat, trying to not sound confused although he was. "Makes sense. Umm." He rubbed the back of his neck. "So like when did this happen and why wasn't I told?"
Samantha turned and smiled at Jonathon. The way she looked at him almost made Jack jealous. This was too weird, even for him.
Jonathon shrugged. "Four months ago. You had enough problems going down, Jack. Meanwhile, I was miserable. I tried that dating thing, didn't work. It's not like my head and heart are those of a teenager discovering the opposite sex for the first time. In here I'm you, a bullheaded, fifty-year-old Air Force colonel in love with his 2IC. Being you, I wanted what you had and ironically you still don't have. "
"Your point." Jack snipped, forcing a smile for Samantha.
"What he means, Colonel," She walked forward and explained like only Carter could, "Is your Sam allowed the Asgard to create a clone so that we could be together." She gazed devotedly at Jonathon.
Jack's eyes turned saucer size. "I can't believe Sam would do such a stupid-" The moment the words tumbled out, he regretted them, "thing."
"She'd do anything for you, Jack." Samantha smiled into his gaze in a way that said what Jack already knew.
"Yes, she would." He closed his eyes and shook his head still trying to take it all in.
"And in her own way, she did." Jonathon nodded. "We're happily and openly in love, Jack." He put his arm around Sam . . . Samantha, and kissed her flushed ivory cheek. "And even though it was that stupid Loki that created this mess-me. Sam gave up part of herself for me. I am really grateful to both of you."
"Me too, Jack." Samantha stepped out of Jonathon's arms and traced a delicate fingertip down Jack's left cheek dimple.
Jack shuddered at her familiar touch and reveled in how flawless her features had been even as a youth. For a moment his heart dove into her eyes and got lost.
"You love her more than life, Colonel," Samantha's voice tightened. "And she loves you even more. But you both have pride issues, not to mention the regs, so please before it's too late, go to her, tell her, be with her. Don't screw it up again!" she said with conviction.
"Oy! You've got attitude, young lady."
"Had a good mentor." She winked, and then kissed his weathered jaw.
Jack clutched Samantha's delicate hand and nodded, holding her blue-eyed gaze. He turned and looked at Jonathon. "Remember, you once asked if I ever had the desire to go back and do it all over again, especially with all I know now?"
"Yeah, your answer was an emphatic, 'No!'"
Jack shrugged. "For what it's worth, I was wrong." He looked at Samantha and smiled warmly. "You did good, Jonathon."
"Yes, you did." She held Jack's gaze.
Jack swallowed, realizing she hadn't meant Jonathon.
"Hey!" Jonathon stepped between them, his tan features coloring. "Don't forget moi."
They turned and grinned at his scrunched features. Jack knew that envious glint in the youth's dark brown eyes. It was Jack's.
"Okay, flyboy." Samantha took up Jonathon's forearm and turned away. "Let's go hit those books, so you get a passing grade."
"Hey?" he groused, "We're going to see a movie and . . ."
"In your dreams! You need to get an A minus in Physics."
"Excuse me?" Jack raised a hand. "An A minus!" he chuckled in disbelief.
The two turned and looked at him.
Samantha nodded. "Certainly. He got a B plus on the last two tests."
Jack gaped, then looked at the smirking Jonathon.
"Hey, like I said, high expectations."
Samantha winked at Jack. "You're far smarter than you let on, Sir, just need the right incentive."
"Yeah, a nagging Carter." Jonathon quipped only to get pinched by her. "Ouch!"
Jack sighed and shook his head. "Well ease up tonight, kids, enjoy the weekend. After all there's a teacher's conference Monday."
Samantha nodded no, then looked accusatory at Jonathon who muttered and then met Jack's you die look.
Samantha sighed and looked back at Jack. "Thanks, Sir. That boy is such a screw off sometimes."
"Tell me about it." Jack laughed. "You, Samantha Jean Carter, are the best to ever happen to mini me."
"Yeah sure yabetcha!" She giggled and then dragged Jonathon off, who glanced back and grinned like a cat that had not only found the saucer of cream but had licked-up ever sweet drop.
As they clambered into her car, Samantha said, "Hey, O'Neill, you've got a milk mustache!"
Jack grinned. Yep, if he survived the download, he and Major Carter had something else to discuss. How ironic. Two sixteen-year-olds Sam and Jack were experiencing the joy he and Sam had only dreamt about. He envied them. Yeah!
~*~
Three hours later, Jack sat in the same spot on his sofa where he'd been with Sam this morning, brooding.
He'd wanted to throttle Daniel and Teal'c on their lousy timing. When Daniel had asked if they were interrupting anything, Jack's brain and heart screamed, 'Yes! Now don't let the door hit you in the ass!' But when Sam smiled at Jack, he knew he was beat, instead he said on cue with her, "No."
Why couldn't life give them a lousy break? Even more importantly, when had they become so comfortable being uncomfortable? Jack stared at the unopened bottle of Guinness in his hands, it's label long shredded by his restless fingers.
"Stupid, Jack! You should have told her when you had the chance. How many times have there been over the years? Don't answer, because it's a freaking joke. Okay, hundreds! Stop thinking, Jack, you're about to give up the ghost and you still haven't told her. And what'll that gain you? Make her feel worse or relieved that you've finally confessed you are still in love with her. So before you start babbling Ancient, forget her name, her smile, her laughter, smell and touch, what you going to do about it?" ~*~
CHAPTER THREE
'Somewhere Over The Rainbow . . .' Judy Garland
Something woke her. Sam rubbed her cried-out eyes and wearily sat upright on the sofa, flinging back the knitted afghan. She'd fallen asleep watching The Wizard of Oz that she'd set on replay. Dorothy had just crash-landed in Oz again. Sam clicked the mute button and glanced at her watch, 2312 hours. A loud rap on her door brought Sam to her feet and she glared at the doorway. She suspected Daniel, more likely Teal'c. Not that Daniel didn't know about her and Jack, but since his return to mortality, Daniel seemed oblivious about the dysfunctional relationship she shared with her CO. Although he did have his moments, including his, "Oh, sorry, are we interrupting anything?" remark this morning.
About then, she had wanted to scream, 'Yes, you ancient moron!' and kick his and Teal'c's tight butts all the way to Abydos. Of course she hadn't. Neither had Jack. Hey, they were family, each other's best friends. And under the circumstances, she suspected they'd show up sooner or later, not just that soon. If she'd had a few minutes more with Jack, so much could have been shared, like her love for him. She'd finally been willing to come clean and deal with the consequences, no matter what they were. And Jack had lowered his emotional defenses. She'd glimpsed his heart in his eyes and his face. He had been about to let her inside his world and-
The visitor knocked again, harder. Must be Teal'c. He knew what she was going through since Jack downloaded the library of the Ancients. The only weapon they had to defend earth against Anubis was now inside the man she loved. Since Janet's death, Sam had no one to talk to about Jack except Teal'c who had become father confessor for her and the colonel. Although she doubted emotionally repressed Jack confessed little if anything to anyone even Teal'c.
Walking to the front door, Sam realized if she looked anything like she felt, it wasn't pretty. She glanced down at her gigantic comfy Wonder Woman flannel pajamas, cinched at the waist with safety pins. Whoever it was at this late hour, deserved to be shocked stupid.
Not bothering to glance through the curtained window of the front door, she flicked on the outside light, turned the knob and yawned into the visitor's face.
"Hi, Carter."
"Sir?" She rubbed her eyes and blinked. Was she dreaming?
Rocking on his heels, he swept his coffee brown gaze over her sleepwear and grinned. The next moment, his mouth flat-lined. "Ah, did I wake you?" He motioned with an open hand.
"Sorta." Any other time Jack O'Neill would have grabbed that as an excuse to exit stage right. Not that she wanted him to. She'd just expected it. Even now. Man, when had they stopped being comfortable alone topside?
"Couldn't sleep." He shrugged and rubbed his left temple.
"Hey, me either." She finger brushed her soiled blonde hair, and then thumbs out, bounced her clenched hands against her hips like a chicken trying to fly. She hated when she did that. Sam purposely crossed her arms over her breasts. So had Jack felt this awkward when she'd shown up on his doorstep this morning? The brisk night air nipped at her bare feet.
"Cold night, huh?" He winced, not hiding the obvious. He was waiting for an invite. Odd, there was no standard, 'For crying out loud, Carter, you plan to heat the entire state of Colorado or let me?' O'Neill sarcasm.
"Yeah."
Jack frowned. No doubt shocked by her less than glamorous fashion statement. Hey, at least she'd removed her makeup and mascara before her pity party. Either way, she'd not dressed for company, least of all him. Jack has seen Sam at her worst and best over the years and now with her emotionally stripped he stood, waiting.
"Should have called, huh?" He scratched the back of his neck, before he jammed the hand back into his black leather jacket's pocket.
"No. Glad you came by." She gestured him in and shut the door, bolting the deadlock. When she turned back he had already yanked off his jacket and slung it on the wall hook. 'Holy Hannah! He plans to stay!'
"Funny thing, I was driving, you know . . . in my truck, and I um, I drove here." He chuckled.
"Yeah, funny." Sam grinned at their instant replay of her morning visit. She didn't want to say it, think of him as *Sir* now. His familiar English Leather cologne worked its magic and she gazed at his snug black jeans and long-sleeved, white, Dockers dress shirt. Although the sleeves were neatly rolled up his tanned forearms, he'd tucked in the shirt with a leather belt. So not the 'give me comfort clothes' O'Neill style.
The stark contrast of his tan against the crisp, white shirt raised Sam's blood pressure. She had yet to become bored looking at this man's handsome, weatherworn features. A face that said so much with the simple lift of a dark brow, the tug of lips or the deepening of that kissable furrow between his brows. Oh yeah, the scar that slashed through his left eyebrow, another spot Sam longed to kiss and that dimple in his chin. And then, there was Jack's rowdy hair. Now more salt than pepper, he'd been cutting it shorter as if that would keep it in line. Not! Sam's fingers itched to smooth his locks in place. 'Down, girl!'
'Wow, he's hot!' Then again, Jack O'Neill always looked hot. She swallowed only to encounter the one thing beside his passionate brown eyes that made her schoolgirl giddy, his gorgeous dimples, especially the left one. When Jack grinned that dimple well . . .Well. It dimpled.
"So." He glanced into the living room. Sam flinched as his hawkish gaze took in the Kleenex box and tissue littered carpet. 'Oh man! How long have I been staring?'
Jack's lips curled. That dimple deepened.
'Too long!' "Umm, have a seat." She blushed, snatching the afghan and pillow off the sofa and flung them into the opposite chair, hoping that he'd sit there. He did. Sam bent to collect the evidence of her crying jag, but his calloused grip stopped her.
"Leave it."
Sam met his gentle brown eyes, which were so near she became lost in them. His touch sent a radical charge right to her lower tummy. It was like she'd never gotten beyond her first crush with this man. She still had that you light up my life feeling. "I . . .I have coffee, wine or beer."
"Coffee's fine." He slowly let go and settled on the couch, long legs perched before him. He stretched his arms along the back of the sofa. "Hit my beer quota hours ago." He smiled and as his dimples tucked deep on either side of his mouth, Sam's belly rippled pleasurably.
"Me too," she fought to not be military formal. "Coffee it is." She turned.
"How's Cassie?"
"Umm, don't know. She wasn't there." 'Wrong. I came straight home and fell asleep crying.'
"Oh," was all that came back to her. 'He knows I lied.'
Sam stepped into the kitchen. Times like this she hated her open kitchen and living room concept. Fortunately Jack was sitting with his back to her. Still the instant she was away from him, tears and anguish cracked through her veneer. "Dear God, what will I do if I loss him again?' Somehow, she had to tell him what she'd meant to confess this morning. She was still in love with him.
~*~
Jack decided not to press the issue of Cassie, let alone discuss Jonathon and Samantha. Leaning back, he shut his eyes and sighed. His temples pounded and it wasn't from the beers. The over the counter headache medicine barely eased it. The download was accelerating. He would have told Hammond but with George's forced retirement there was nothing to be gained. Monday Jack would have to impress upon Doctor Weird . . . Weirder, whatever her name was, that he must complete his mission A.S.A.P.
Meanwhile, he'd revised his last will and testament, divvying his estate. He'd made Hammond, executor of his estate and left George his gun collection, plus some odds and ends, including his memento IOU's markers, he still owed the long-suffering Texan. Last Jack had checked that list he'd been at #32 and holding. Could an officer really get court marshaled that many times? He sure hoped he was starting with a clean slate with the new guy um, woman.
Janet had taken care of Cassie for college. So Jack allowed that she make it through medical school, including new wheels and some mutual funds that would continue to make profit. He also setup long-term provisions for Sara and Jonathon.
He also made certain that his and Sam's R'tu laboratory conceived son, Charlie was financially secure if he ever chose to return to earth. Thinking about fourteen-year old Charlie was a bittersweet thought. They'd not seen him in almost a year, Charlie's decision. Blended with a symbiote the teenager was more Tok'ra than Tau'ri. Sam and Jack had reluctantly come to a place of peace on that matter. They missed him a lot, but Jack didn't often raise the subject with Sam. Her maternal instincts were still sensitive over having a child and not being able to nurture and raise him. He was glad they had Cassie in their lives. Still, Charlie knew Jack and Sam loved him. Thankfully, Jacob and Selmak loved playing grandfather. They'd bonded. Jack had hoped that one day Charlie would decide to return to earth for good. Guess Jack wasn't going to experience that reunion either.
Starting to feel melancholy, Jack forced that matter aside. Meanwhile, he'd included a few local charities, and St. Dominic's church where he and Sara had been wed. Ironic that the last two years he'd started attending mass, taking comfort in the familiar, embracing his free will to chose who or what he believed in. Jack not only wanted to believe there was a benevolent loving God, he did. Geez, someone had to be in control of this galactic chaos because it sure wasn't Jack O'Neill.
Daniel got his chess set and some antique pottery he'd picked up over the years and 2 crates of well-read books in the basement. Jack wished he could see the linguist's face when he found them. Shakespeare, Dante, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Ibsen, Twain, Milton etc., all well read. Not to mention the five years of Archeologist Digest. And despite what he'd said about leaving his Simpson collection to Siler, Daniel got stuck with them. Jack grinned at the poetic justice.
Teal'c got his flat screen TV, PC, Game Boys, opera CD's, John Wayne movie collection, and boxing gloves.
And Carter, well along with his heart, she got everything else, his house, his truck and car, including his thirty-year-old collectable Harley Davison stored in the back of the garage. He could just imagine her reaction when she uncovered that find. Anyhow, where was he? He scratched his jaw, Oh, yeah, he left Sam all personal possessions, astronomy books, telescope, military pension, 401K, portfolio stocks and classic musical movie collection. He wished he could see her face when his lawyer read off his last will and testament, especially that she got the cabin that included 250 acres of protected wooded wetlands and could never sell it. An O'Neill family thingy. Maybe she'd finally have a reason to go fishing.
Frick! He wished he had never stuck his head in that stupid library of knowledge gismo. But no way could he have let Daniel who as a former Ancient was too valuable. Of course, Teal'c didn't qualify because he'd carried a symbiote. Not that Jack would have let him anyway. They had a deal. T couldn't die.
And Samantha Jean Carter, well, she was a national treasure at least in his eyes. No one besides Jack knew that during the chaos of enemy fire and arguing with Daniel, he had spotted the dogged expression on Sam's face. He'd known if he hadn't intervened, she would have made a run for that wall-mounted blender. He couldn't let that happen. As he'd told her this morning, it couldn't have gone down any other way.
Jack bent and collected the dozen or more balled-up wet tissues and clutched them tight. Tears stung the back of his eyelids. The evidence of what was between them, embraced him here more than ever. Sam was wearing the Wonder Woman PJ's he'd bought her. He smirked at the memory.
After her promotional ceremony to Major four years back, Thor had beamed-up Jack during the speech he'd agonized writing, about why Sam deserved her promotion to Major. Not only did she never hear it, his plan to take her out and celebrate also got squashed because of the freaking bugs and Goa'uld.
So Jack made up for it the best way he could. He bought Sam a gift. It had been one of their rare private moments. He'd never forget her gorgeous drop-jaw expression when she'd opened the box.
'"Whoa, Sir . . . they're . . . um, PJ's?" Her blue eyes rounded, as she pulled out the brushed flannel, red, white and blue pajamas. "Wonder Woman!" She blushed, looking up at his impish grin.
"Yeah." He gestured. "Hey, you're a national treasure, Carter, and a kick butt officer. The Air Force's finest, wonder woman!"
"Oh." She reddened brighter. "I don't know what to say, Sir. I'm well, no one has bought me flannel PJ's since I was a kid." She looked confused but appreciative.
"Yes well these Colorado nights get darn cold and I thought," He scratched his jaw. "With you sleeping alone and all." Jack had begun to bury himself deep about then and flushed, remembering the first time he saw her in similar pajamas in her D.C. apartment. Yeah, she'd look hot.
"Yes?" A smile swept her lips. There was a cryptic message in her eyes, her voice.
Jack turned shyer and looked at his boots. "Well, the moment I spotted them, they called my name. I mean your name, Car-ter." He laughed and looked back at her.
"Sir?"
"From one Carter to another." He'd thought it hilarious.
Sam donned Jack's, confused look.
"You know, the actress Linda Car-"
"Yes, I know, Sir." She burst out laughing, having pulled one over on him. But the next moment she was ripping mad. "Apparently you think I am Linda Carter." She punched him in the arm, whining, "Sir, these are extra large and extra long!"
"Fine! Fine! I'll keep them coz they fit me swell."
She never did give them back.
Jack smirked. Seeing her in those worn, faded pajamas was more than he could have hoped for, especially considering that the last three months had been the best and worst for them in sometime. Her dating Pete had shaken Jack to the core. It made him recall their, 'Oops night,' on Chulak and . . . Don't go there, Jack. But he did. Almost four years ago they'd vowed to remain true to each other.
Vowed to wait.
What happened?
'Shit happened, O'Neill, that's what!'
Yeah, that and he'd taken Sam for granted, assumed that like him she'd wait for the hellish Goa'uld war to end. So he could retire. So they could pursue this unconsummated love affair that had been put on hellish hold. But she hadn't. Not that he blamed her. She deserved more. To be treated like a woman, not his 2IC. But the fact, she'd never discussed her immediate longings and needs with him, had hurt and then his Irish pride got in the way.
Instead of going to her and trying to make it work, Jack pulled away even on a professional level. Teal'c advised him wisely. "If you want to re-win the Major's heart, you must be there for her, O'Neill. Let her see no matter what, you still love her and always will. The little things, O'Neill, are how you best tell a woman that you love her. Do this, and you will gain her back."
And that's what Jack did. He started hanging out in her lab again, playing with her gadgets, pestering and bringing her Jell-O, coffee, even cake. Teasing, flirting when the opportunity arose. Regular invites to go fishing, which she still turned down. And then it began. Sam smiling at him from beneath the long lashes of her brilliant, blue eyes. Laughing at his corny jokes. Exchanging private looks that he had long missed.
The night before he downloaded that stupid library, he'd babysat in her lab until after midnight, while she worked entering data on her latest project. It had become emotionally and sexually electric between them. Jack couldn't remember feeling more tired or happy. Just like the god old days it was their intimate quiet time. He'd given Sam a third back rub in one week. A record! He even teased about being her safe bet. He'd never forget her response of affirmation or the look of love in her eyes. Yeah, he'd scored!
Sure she still saw Petty, but they didn't talk about it. Despite that, they had grown closer than ever, talking, joking and sharing like they had before. Her latest challenge, that blasted crossword puzzle, was sending him over the edge. He remembered the expression on her face when he'd gotten off the elevator Friday morning, still doing her puzzle. Her temper barely in check, Sam stood between Daniel and Teal'c in her snug BDU's black shirt and green pants, hands planted on her hips, glaring.
His usual stoic self, Teal'c stood with his hands behind his back. Daniel was shaking his head and looking at his watch, tapping it. Yep, he was annoyed.
Oy! Jack was late, again. "How long have you been waiting there?" He sauntered toward them.
"You said half an hour, an hour ago," Daniel lectured, shoving back his glasses.
Teal'c did his brow thingy.
"General Hammond's waiting!" Not a, 'Sir,' in that newsflash from his 2IC.
Grinning at her, Jack smugly handed over the puzzle and turned on his heels. Seeing the fire in her blue eyes he grinned wider.
"Excuse me." Jack sidestepped an airman as SG-1 headed quickly for the briefing room stairs. Walking beside him Sam glanced at the puzzle then at him. "The fate of the world is hanging in the balance and you've been sitting in your truck finishing this?" Exasperated? Nope, definitely pissed.
"I believe it was double or nothing." He smirked proudly for having finished it, well sort of.
"Okay. Twenty-three across, 'the atomic weight of boron.' Answer is ten."
"Yes?" They took the stairs together.
"You wrote the word fat." She folded the puzzle, slapped it into her hand and shoved it at him.
"And your point?" He belligerently yanked it from her hand and looked down at it frowning.
Sam shook her head.
Inwardly Jack snickered. He'd written *fat* for that exact response. Yeah, their charade could take awhile if he played it right, umm wrong. Whatever!'
Jack loved playing Sam's head games, accepting her mental challenges, acting dumber than he was. Okay then, so there were some clues he didn't get. Daniel certainly wasn't any help. But by George, he would finish it even if it killed him. Well that's a no brainer, O'Neill. Anyway, the crossword puzzle was just part of their warped courtship that was back in full swing. But the chance of it becoming anything more had come down to days or hours. What were the odds?
Behind him in the kitchen, a cupboard door slammed. Jack suspected Sam's hinges needed tightening even replacing again. He'd drop over next Saturday and . . . Nope he'd have to ask Daniel or Teal'c from here on out. Ironic that his astrophysicist didn't do home improvements. Never enough time she said.
Running a hand across his whiskered jaw, Jack took in the collection of VHS's and DVD's scattered on the floor, classic musicals they had watched together with the team. Sam owned every Cary Grant movie and Jack grinned as he picked up the empty cover of *Charade* and realized it was inside her six-slot DVD player. When his gaze set on, *Singing In The Rain* Jack's heart thudded against his ribs. He recalled two months back how he and Sam had sung every song during the movie, including her favorite, 'Singing in the Rain.' Meanwhile, a snookered Daniel danced up and down Jack's hallway doing a lame Gene Kelly impersonation with Teal'c directing. Jack would miss their team nights.
"Mind if I put on some music?" he asked casually.
"Whatever."
Oy! Bad news when Sam started spouting O'Neill sarcastic one liners.
Standing, he picked up her CD player remote and clicked open the tray. One CD set in the six-player compartment. Whitney Houston. Jack sighed. 'How more obvious does it get, old man?' He perused her collection and grinned at the assortment of opera and classical, mostly his favorites. Smiling, he inserted two CD's, made his selection and then prayed the timing would be right. Who knew Jack could be deliberately sappy and romantic? Hey, don't answer that.
Jack peered at the TV screen. She'd muted the sound. Sam had been watching his favorite, *The Wizard of Oz.* How often had he called her, Dorothy, and she'd smile back, knowing his unspoken message. Well his Dorothy was now assaulting defenseless cupboard doors. Each time one slammed, she swore like a truck driver. Maybe this had been a dumb idea? Or maybe, it was the best and last thing he could do for the woman he loved. She needed closure. So did he. ~*~
CHAPTER FOUR
'Always On My Mind' Elvis Presley
Jack sighed out softly, "Now or never, O'Neill." He ambled into the kitchen, tossed the tissues in the wastebasket, stuffing one into his pocket for sentiment. Sam didn't have to turn to know he was there. They'd always had that sixth sense about the other's presence. Tonight it was overwhelming, intoxicating. Wow! Where were all these emotional words coming from? Certainly not Jack O'Neill?
Maybe I didn't treat you Quite as good as I should have Maybe I didn't love you Quite as often as I could have Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time
You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
Part of him wanted to crush her in his arms and comfort her, however the part that knew Carter warned, keep clear! Samantha Carter needs to vent. Obviously slamming doors was her therapy. No wonder he was forever replacing hinges. Another door bit the dust. Jack flinched, straddled a stool, yanked the crumpled puzzle from his back pocket and smoothed it out on her work center. Snatching up the pencil by her phone, he forced his attention to the coffee stained paper. From the corner of his vision, he glimpsed Sam's face. She sighed and slammed two ceramic cups onto the counter. Ouch!
The moment she turned back Jack looked up. First thing he'd noted when she glanced over was the tip of her nose was red, which happened when she got emotional. Yeah, another thing he had jotted down on his, 'things I love about Sam, list.'
Jack long ago labeled himself weird when it came to getting turned on, especially with Carter. As sexy as she looked in a short dress and heels, seeing her in BDU's and boots, or with dirt or grease smeared on her flawless face reveed up his engines just fine, thank you very much.
Just like now, her short blonde hair was messed from sleep, her slender womanly curves lost in a sea of flannel fabric, sleeves rolled haphazardly up her pale forearms. Man, she's hot! Vulnerable. Beautiful. To think he'd almost lost her. Still would. Stupid, Jack! Life's too short, especially now. He wanted to make wild passionate love - - Crap! Setting down the pencil, he rubbed the temple pain. He feared his next words might be well, whatever, but definitely not his own.
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died Give me, give me one more chance To keep you satisfied, satisfied
Maybe I didn't hold you All those lonely, lonely times And I guess I never told you I'm so happy that you're mine If I make you feel second best Girl, I'm sorry I was blind
Jack heard a sob slip from Sam's lips.
You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
Little things I should have said and done I just never took the time You were always on my mind You are always on my mind You are always on my mind
'Yeah, Sam, you are always on my mind!'
Hands shaking, Sam turned on the faucet to fill the coffee pot. She looked over, a tight smile all she could offer. One he knew when they were at crossroads, like this morning. Only then it had been Jack who'd shut down. Yeah, he needed to be her strong, confident CO, knew she expected that, wanted that from him. But seven years being denied the one thing he desired most had gained a stronger foothold. 'You're going to die, Jack. Tell her!'
"Twenty up, two across, seven down," he peeked and caught the upward tug of her lips. "A four, letter word for, 'make somebody's day?'"
Looking over her shoulder Sam said with annoyance, "You don't have to finish that, Sir." Was she annoyed at his fixation with the puzzle or something else?
"What?" He knew that simplistic word used with his whinny tone would get her dander up.
"That, that stupid puzzle. I mean all things considered it's really immaterial, Colonel!" She braced her hands against the counter's edge for support and exhaled.
"I believe it was double or nothing."
"Only if you get them all right, Sir."
"And that's what I'm trying to do even without Daniel's help."
"But- "
"Hey, this gives me a sense of normalcy especially with you."
"Oh." She nodded, but still wouldn't face him. "So you think our lives are normal?" She snorted.
"Yeah, for the most part."
Sam swung her head around and rolled her eyes as if to say something flippant, and then shut her kissable mouth.
He grinned. Sam's fortress had begun to wobble. Yeah, he'd known for years what his boyish smirk did to her. Hey, whatever worked was his motto. "So you going to help me out here, Carter?"
She turned about and crossed her arms. "Might I remind you, Sir, that my helping was not, is not, part of our bargain?" Her puffy eyes glittered defiance.
She'd been crying again. Jack tried to stay on target, on his objective. "Hey, not like I'm asking you to cheat. Just toss me a bone here will you?"
"Oh, man!" She turned back, removed the coffee from the cupboard and slammed it hard. "Think happy! Joyful! Pleased as punch!"
"Got it!"
"So?" She looked to find him scribbling down the answer.
"What?" he offered his duh expression.
"For crying out loud, Sir, the stupid answer?" Sam stomped to the refrigerator and took out the nondairy creamer and banged it on the work center's counter, then marched by him back to the coffee maker.
"I'm '*glad* you came by this morning, Sam." She froze. He'd not only hoodwinked her, he'd used her first name.
"Glad?" He heard the smile in her voice.
"Yeah sure yabetcha."
"Well it was even nicer when Daniel and Teal'c came over and General Hammond." She flipped the switch of the coffeemaker and stared out the dark kitchen window. Contrary to her sincere tone and words, her expression of despair made him ache.
"I wish they hadn't." 'Blunt enough, Carter?'
"You do?" She pivoted with a towel in her hand and looked at him, tucking her chin in.
"Yes well, I'd wanted to talk." He stood and stared straight on. "About us, that is." 'That wasn't too hard, Jack.' So why was his stomach flipping, his heart racing, his mouth dried up like the sands of Abydos?
"Um, me too." She glanced at her bare feet and wiggled her pink painted toes.
"Pretty rough at first, huh?" He gestured between them, not sure where to put his restless hands. They ended up in his pockets.
"Yeah, a bit, I mean no, of course not."
"Samantha, what I said about you being a national treasure. What I really meant . . ."
Dropping the towel on the counter, she took a step forward. "I know what you meant, Sir, always have." Her cheeks tinted with color as she fisted her hands at her hips.
'Oh,' he mouthed and nodded. "Really?"
"Yes, really." She tilted her head and smiled.
"Sorry, for shutting down on you. It's just this opening up. . ." He raked a hand through his hair and groaned his irritation. 'Why couldn't he say it?'
"No." She glanced up. "I knew you were struggling. So was I. We were talking about global security, saving the universe, but not about you and me. It sucks that we have to put everything and everyone else before our personal lives." She sighed out.
"Yeah, occupational hazard." Jack snuffed.
"That's why I came so early. Figured we'd have time to work into it, noon at the earliest." She grinned.
"Know me pretty well huh, Carter?"
"Yeah. We've both got emotional hang-ups, Sir." Her gaze fastened on the wall clock behind him.
"Actually you were way off on the time thingy."
"I was?"
"Oh, yeah." He took another step nearer and smirked. "I was this close," he held his hands about a foot apart, "with the right words."
"You were?" Her eyes shimmered.
"Yeah, until the Siamese twins gated in."
Sam smirked when he referenced Teal'c and Daniel. "Hey, they did bring donuts."
"Na ah." He wagged a finger, signaling she was straying off topic.
Sam blew out a breath. "Okay, what I'd intended to say this morning and this afternoon was . . ." her voice and chin quivered. Snagging her lower lip with her teeth, blue eyes glistening with tears she glanced away and shook her head.
"The same thing I meant to say, Sam." Jack closed the distance between them, pulled her into his arms and then held on for dear life, burrowing his face in the soft warmth of her neck. It had been so long, since he'd held her like this. Not since he'd taken that staff weapon blow when Janet died and then those following weeks comforting each other when the need arouse. Of course the plausible excuse had been because of Janet or Cassie. Sam now clung hard and fast to him and it had nothing to do with anyone but each other.
"Oh, Sir, there's got to be a way! The Asgard must help us get this shit out of you!" Sam clutched his shirt and pressed her face into him.
Huh? Jack tipped his head and gazed into her wet eyes. "Carter, just when did the knowledge of the Ancients get labeled shit?"
"Since it ended up in you!" she groused.
"Eeuw!"
"No! I didn't mean you were shit, I meant- "
"Enlighten me, huh?" He pressed an impish grin.
"Oh!" She slugged him hard and grinned back.
'Much better!' He tried to stay upbeat. "Hey now, remember old Thor's got serious pest control problems back home. And my life and death crisis isn't worth a hill of beans to being overrun by replicators."
"It is to us, Sir." She snuffed as her smile vanished.
"Us?" He quirked a brow and his mouth flattened.
"Of course. Daniel, Teal'c, Cassie, Jonathon, General Hammond, the entire SGC!"
"Um, you anywhere on that laundry list?"
"Of course, Sir." Her cheeks blossomed and she lowered her gaze.
"Excellent!" He smiled and drew her back to him. Both felt comfortable, even content with their gesture of affection. For many years it had been enough, until now. Jack wondered how long they'd remain at this impasse. He thought about how the word *okay* had become their pat substitute for I love you, need you, want you. It only seemed appropriate to use it.
"Major?"
"Sir?" She breathed against his neck.
Jack unclasped his arms from her waist and stepped back, then caressed her damp cheek. "Look, before I go Ancient on you, we need to sort things, clear the air and all that."
"Clear the air?" Her stance stiffened as she jutted and then tucked her chin.
Employing his own nervous habit, Jack thrust his hands into the security of his pockets. "What I mean is, I don't wanna enter those pearly gates without knowing if you're okay."
"Okay?" she ranted and her eyes glazed with blue fire. "Man oh man! I can be a lot of things. But right now, *okay* is not one of them, Colonel, Sir!"
Wow! He expected her to snap a sharp salute. "For crying out loud, Carter, for one freaking night could you cut the Colonel and Sir crap? Call me Jack, Homer, even Thor for all I care. Just anything but those two freaking names. That's an order!" He watched as her military bravado tumbled and she stared closely at him.
"Sir, um are you trying to say something here?"
"Gosh, ya think?" He felt heat sweep up his neck and face. "So are we still, 'okay?'" He ducked his head to peer into her lake blue eyes.
"Holy Hannah!" She clamped a hand over her mouth.
"You can say that again." He smiled, feeling pretty smug.
She began puffing.
"Hey, don't hyperventilate on me." He grabbed her shoulders and held tight, wondering if she had a paper bag.
"I--I'm fine." She grinned back. "And yeah, we're really, really *okay*."
"Whoa, that's a relief, Samantha."
"Um, Sir, you called me, Samantha, again."
"Yes, well that's your name, right? And I have one too and wish to heck you'd use it."
She nodded. "But if I do I might not be able to- "
"Obey the regs?" he griped.
"Yeah." She swiped at her wet nose with a sleeve.
Jack captured her trembling chin, but she went rigid and stared at the wall and then his shirt. "I know my shirt's fascinating and all-Look at me, Sam!"
She conformed and engaged his smile, but was still pretty tense.
"Another funny thing happened today." He tried lightening the mood.
"What?"
"Hammond called from the airport to wish SG-1 the best."
"That was sweet of him. You know, I can't believe he's no longer the SGC's CO." She sighed with a tremor.
"Yes, that's just wrong on so many levels." He winced, then plowed ahead, "But because his command of the SGC was ending at 2400, he wanted to give me one last order."
Her fair features tightened.
"Since we don't know the outcome of my going Ancient situation, he ordered I take care of all personal matters before tomorrow morning."
"But that's what you've been doing." She searched his eyes.
"Yeah. All the legalities are taken care of. Actually I did my living will sometime back."
"Oh, so I don't see what-. "
"Hey, we know ol' George has seen through us since day one?"
"Yes. He walked the fine line and trusted we'd obey the regs." She glanced at the stove, then window.
Jack cupped her chin firmly and returned her attention to him. She trembled and held his gaze. When he lowered his possessive hold, she seemed to relax.
"Well tonight he gave his blessing and promised that what he doesn't hear or see, he can't tell. He ordered me to make the most of this night with a blonde, blue-eyed astrophysics or depending on how this Ancient download turned out, I'd have to answer to him in either this world or the next." Jack dragged air into his aching lungs.
"Holy Hannah! He did?"
"Actually I omitted the bald Texan's curses, but yep that's putting it mildly."
Sam grinned. "He's always been there for us, huh?"
"Yeah, he has. Really going to miss him." Jack glanced at her and found her trembling.
"Sam, despite George's last unorthodox order, I would never do anything you wouldn't want me too. Nor am I going to compromise our professional relationship. As much as I want to make love to you, it's not going to happen."
"It's not?" she sounded disappointed.
"No." He worked his jaw. "For one there's Pete Shanahan."
"Oh." She looked away and snagged her lower lip. "I understand." ~*~
CHAPTER FIVE
'Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue' Crystal Gale
"No. I don't think you do, Sam." Jack dropped his arms and realized he was still angry, really, really angry. Kicking a wall would work! Timing with Carter was everything. Crystal Gale came to his rescue.
Tell me no secrets, Tell me some lies Give me no reasons, Give me alibis Tell me you love me and don't let me cry Say anything but don't say goodbye
I didn't mean to treat you bad Didn't know just what I had But honey now I do And don't it make my brown eyes Don't it make my brown eyes Don't it make my brown eyes blue
"I don't know what to say." She turned back to him, but he couldn't look at her. Crap it still hurt.
"You could have talked to me, Sam." He pulled his hand through his hair and growled.
"Talk to you!" her voice quivered.
"Yeah. Was that so freaking much to ask?"
Standing on her tiptoes, Sam put her face in his. "Jack, we'd stopped talking about *us* long before I dated Pete!"
"Dated! Heck you slept with him, Sam!"
"Once!"
"Once or ten times does it matter?"
"It does to me!"
"Yeah, well the point is, you did it!"
"Yes and I can't undo it anymore than you can undo sleeping with Laira!"
Ouch! Remembering his indiscretion with Laira three years back, Jack knew he'd hurt Sam terribly. Oh, she'd forgiven him, but considering their roles were now reversed, he didn't blame her for throwing it back in his face.
"Touch!" was all he could mutter. Man if he could have undone that night with Laira he would. But he couldn't. Sam was right. "Sorry."
"Me too," she sighed out. "And why are you once again avoiding talking about us, not talking?" She stomped her barefoot to the ceramic floor.
"Excuse me! We've talked lots of times about us and our future." Jack felt the tension line between his brows deepen.
"Name one in the last six months?"
He scratched his head. "Before I went to Honduras we met in our *Closet* as usual."
She nodded and swiped at tear. "I know. But didn't you see-?"
"See what, for crying out loud?" He dropped back onto the stool and gaped at her. He hadn't intended for this to turn into a yelling match, but maybe it was the only way to clear the air.
"I . . . needed more than stolen hugs and petting in a dusty utility closet, Jack."
"Oh!" he snuffed a breath. "Like I can read your flipping mind!" His hands danced with his mouth.
"After nearly eight years of being in this dysfunctional courtship I'd thought you'd have some clue, Jack O'Neill. But then I forgot, you get confused!" she flung spitefully back at him.
"Yeah, speak for yourself, Doctor Samantha Carter, the false god of mixed signals. Half the time I'm still trying to figure you out. She loves me she loves me not. Geez, you wonder why I box with Teal'c three times a week. It's so I can work out my confused annoyance over you!" His hands directed traffic.
"Oh!"
Before she could speak, Jack had another light bulb moment, "Other times we've talked. What about after you, Teal'c and Dad escaped Anubis' ship and I'd rescued Daniel. We had lunch and not in the commissary, I took you topside and we held hands."
Sam shook her head. "Yes we had lunch topside and held hands between mouthfuls because you had to cut my food."
Jack grinned remembering her dislocated shoulder, how they sat on the same side of the booth, holding hands between forkfuls.
"That was nice. I had missed you so much it hurt far more than my shoulder."
"Hey missed you too, Dorothy. That's why I'd asked you in front of everyone else."
She nodded and then shook her blonde head. "But that had become the pat routine for us. We acted like best buddies, nothing more."
"For heaven's sake, Sam, we couldn't act like anything more on base. But we spent the weekend at my house, grilling out, watched flicks. We stargazed, held hands talked and cuddled, even fell asleep together on the roof."
Sam snorted. "First off, it wasn't just the two of us at your house. That rarely happens since the NID started snooping around."
"Well there's that." He shrugged a shoulder.
"There was Daniel, Teal'c, Dad, Uncle George and Cassie. Furthermore, my arm was in a sling, so along with the fact we had no privacy, there wasn't much happening intimacy wise."
"Hey, what'd you expect? Dad was there."
She sighed. "Dad's not stupid, Jack. He knows we know he knows."
'Huh?' Jack punched the air with a finger as he downloaded her last statement. "Yeah, well. I'm not getting lovey-dovey in front of your Dad at least while I'm your CO."
"And that's the ongoing issue, isn't it?" she sighed out a lament.
"Hey, we cuddled after he and George left."
Oh, you cuddled all right. With Daniel." She huffed and crossed her arms over her breasts.
"Geez! Don't even imply . . ." he shuddered.
"After they left, you and Daniel got hosed playing chess. Then you insisted we go stargaze. Well, we did and yes, we held hands and might even have kissed, hadn't Daniel clambered up and insisted you cheated at chess and replay the game. Well, Jack O'Neill, especially a tipsy one never backs down from a charge of cheating. Within seconds I no longer mattered. So, I left you to your chess debate and went home with Cassie. Two hours later, Teal'c found you and Danny cuddling for warmth and snoring."
"Dang! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because that had become the norm for us. Besides I'm just one of the guys."
"Yes, you are. And if memory serves me, that's exactly what you wanted, right?"
"Sure, but not off duty or when I'm alone with you. Darn, this is maddening!"
"But Sam, you are much more than one the guys to me. Always have been. Always will be!" Jack scratched his head. "After you got shot by Anubis' Dark Vader, I not Teal'c carried you back to the Stargate. I shot my mouth off about how much I loved you, even knowing you were dating that other Irish ass."
"Well, thanks for sharing three months down the road! I was in shock. I don't remember much after I put my head on your shoulder!"
He sighed, flagged his hand in the air, but had no reply.
"Man, oh man, I suppose Teal'c heard everything."
Jack snorted. "T knows all, sees all. God bless that Jaffa, he's like the only one who believes we are meant to be together."
"I know," she conceded, then turned the tables. "Jack, after you and Teal'c rescued me at the Alpha site, when the negations between the Tokra and Jaffa fell through and Dad left." She began to tremble. "Man, I have no idea of when or if I'll ever see him again." She sniffed and looked Jack head on. "While I was so alone and miserable, why didn't you come to me when I needed you?"
Jack gawked. "Excuse me. I did come by. You were asleep!"
"Well, there was a time you'd have sat there until I woke up."
"Crap! Before you came around I sat by your side with Dad for nine long hours, Sam."
"You did?" She looked sharply at him, relief softening her face.
"Of course. Geez Louise!" he muttered a string of curses and his head pounded harder with pain. "Yeah, imagine me and Dad playing chit chat for nine hours about you. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I did it, dang it!"
"Did he ask about us?"
"Does Abydos have sand? Oh, yeah, he was in my face. I never thought I'd admit it, but Selmak saved my butt that day."
"Selmak loves you, Jack, and wants us together."
"Yeah, yeah, so she he it said."
"And Dad?"
"Really wanna know?" he snickered.
"Yes."
"Doesn't like Petty, at all." Actually hates him, but Jack decided not tell her that.
"Already knew that. But he likes you, Jack, a lot."
"Yeah in his own sarcastic, annoying, commando, burn Jack's ass way, I guess he does. Jacob's got this control thingy, always has to be right, and well, I just don't get it," he whined.
"Yeah, like you two have nothing in common." Sam rolled her eyes.
"Hey, your dad's a real pain in the a- "
"Jack?"
"What?"
"You're avoiding *us*. Why didn't you come back to the infirmary?"
"Coz, I was emotionally sucked dry, Sam, especially with all these stupid charades we play. So yeah, I left. But I came back, turned the camera off and kissed you goodbye." He blushed.
"You what?"
"Geez, ya heard me." Jack unrolled, then rolled his right shirt's sleeve for distraction.
"See you keep doing that!" she ranted.
"What?" He presented his duh look.
"Kissing me when I'm in a time loop, alseep or unconscious. I don't remember."
"Sorry." He flinched. He truly was.
"And you pushed me away after that!"
"Not!"
"Yes! It started after I returned from being stranded on Prometheus."
"Hey, hey! I threw you a party, baked a cake and you left without so much as a flipping goodbye!"
"That's because forty minutes into the party, I found you fighting with Daniel."
"Yeah. Coz, he was putting his geeky nose where it didn't belong again!"
"O, I heard you, Sir. You said and I quote, 'There's no future for us, Daniel. I won't ask her to quite the Air Force.' Then Daniel said something I couldn't hear. You replied heatedly, "So, people change, Danny. I've changed! The woman needs to get a freaking life with someone younger and nonmilitary.' I'd heard enough and left!" Sam turned away and hugged herself. "And I did exactly what you wanted. I got a freaking life!"
"Geez, Samantha?" Jack pushed to his feet and winced when his left knee kinked. He set his hands on her shoulders. "If you'd waited, you'd also heard, 'But Daniel, I'm a selfish old coot. I want Sam to have that life with me!"
Air rushed from Sam's lungs. He turned her around without a struggle and looked down at her intrepid blue gaze. "And I meant it."
Sam shook her head. "Then how do you explain how you behaved toward me after that. Barely acknowledging me, unless work related. Missed our next Wednesday *Closet* date and the following weekend when we went to O'Malley's with the Prometheus crew, you sat in a corner drinking and biting anyone who tried to talk to you."
Jack shook his head. "Sorry, Carter. Figured ya knew me. Not that it was any excuse for how I treated you. But I'd almost lost you again and it was eating me up. I pushed you away, because I wanted you so bad and not just to hold. If I let myself get too close I feared I'd do more than break our own rules, I'd screw the regs and make love to you!" He was shaking.
"Man, Jack!"
He put his fingers to her quivering moist lips. "Samantha, when you went to your brother's the following weekend, I talked to Hammond. I mean really talked, like friends. He agreed to let me finish out the year and then become a full-time SCG consultant, allowing me to accompany SG-1 or any team when I wanted. More important you'd be assigned CO of SG-1."
Sam's breath hitched and she shook her head at this revelation.
"That day on the elevator I was about to ask if you'd go for coffee topside so we could talk and I was going to give you these." He reached into his pocket and extracted his dog tags and then pressed them into her hand.
"Oh, Jack! Why didn't you tell me then?" Sam's eyes glowed with fresh tears as she looked at the tags in her hand and clutched them to her heart. They'd made a pack almost eight years ago that the day he'd decided to permanently resign, he'd put them on her pillow.
"For heaven's sake, Sam, you started humming!" He jammed his fists in his pockets and looked at his feet. "We both knew what that meant."
"Oh, yeah." She reached out and pulling his clenched hands free, she brought them to her chest.
"Jack, Pete and I are not seeing each other that way anymore."
"For real?" His mouth rose a bit. His heart skipped.
"Yeah. Pete was a mistake. I'm so sorry." She looked at the wall again.
"Please no apologies." He trailed his thumb across her moist lips. "We both mucked up big time."
"No, I need to explain." She stepped back and exhaled. "I wanted what everyone else had. I wanted normalcy outside the SGC. I guess hearing what you said combined with what I thought you said on the Prometheus convinced me I needed to let you go."
"Hey, we really need to talk that out sometime soon," he thrust out his pointer fingers. "I mean your delusion thingy, coz I think that has a lot to do with all these weird signals between us lately."
"I know we should talk about it. But it comes down to that if I couldn't have you . . ." She blinked back tears. "I spent one night with Pete. I tried to substitute him for you, Jack. No comparison."
"Ya think?" He smirked and wagged his brows.
"Yeah, just how many loud, gruff, witty, emotionally repressed, cynical, narrow-minded, Irish Colonels do I know? And did I mention his solution to most issues is to blow something up?"
"Uh, is there a compliment there somewhere, Carter?"
"Tons of them." She smiled up, and then sighed. "Trouble is, Pete doesn't let go too easily."
"Well then I could always blow him up. Got some C4 in my truck."
Sam giggled. "So now that he's no longer an issue."
"C'mere." He swept Sam into his arms and carried her to the sofa. Sitting, Jack pulled her into his embrace, caressing her hair, back and arms, wanting to touch much more, but content to have what he had, her love.
"I know you came that night?"
"Huh?" his murmur grazed the slope of her neck.
"When I got drunk at O'Malley's."
"Oh, that." He pulled up slowly and looked back. Sam winced and stared at the wall clock again. Color tinged her earlobes.
"I don't remember much. But I suspect I was-"
"The best nightclub act in town." He turned her face back to his and grinned.
"Man, oh, man!" She took a step back and shook her head in shame. "I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't do it on purpose and yet afterward I prayed you'd come."
"Sam?"
She glanced shyly back at him. This was the first time they'd admitted it had even happened.
"I'm glad I came. It proved a very revealing night for both of us."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah." He winked, recalling being naked in the shower together. "That long night gave me hope that we still had a chance."
"You mean I . . ." she nibbled her lower lip.
"Said more than you do sober, Carter, even if you were puking your guts all over me."
"Sorry." She flinched.
"Forgiven. But I so don't want you to eat garlic chips for a really, really long time." He shuddered.
"Did I um, hit on you?"
"Yep."
"Pinch your ass?"
"Bruised it twice."
Sam's cheeks were now candy apple red. Jack loved it.
"Um, we didn't-?"
"Nada. I want you sober *when* that happens."
"When?" Her blue eyes shimmered and her chin jutted out then back in.
"Yeah, like is there an echo in here?"
"So," Sam hedged with a mischievous smile.
"So." He gave her a dimple deep grin.
"Um, with all this Anubis business, we never talked about your humming in the elevator two weeks ago."
"Yeah, well I'm no Gene Kelly and made a fool out of myself."
"Hardly. You had me hook, line and sinker, Colonel O' Neill." She smiled up at him. "I was so jealous over the thought of you seeing someone else seriously."
"I know." He quirked a brow and his mouth tugged into a crooked smirk. "I thought you were going to blow a gasket and I had over twenty levels to survive without telling you. For a genius you sure are dense sometimes, Carter."
"Yes I am and you really enjoyed yourself." She tweaked his right cheek.
"Yeah sure yabetcha. Sweet revenge!"
"But how'd you know I was still in love with you?"
"I may confuse, Sam, but between you're getting snookered and a weekend with one single-minded, PMSing, teenager, even I figured that one out." Jack wiggled his brows.
"Cassie, that traitor!"
"Hey, our adorable niece has never made any qualms about wanting us together."
"Oh, for sure. We talked the other day."
"She told me in no uncertain terms to get a life with you. However, I'd already decided you needed to date other guys. If you and Pete got serious, I wouldn't have held you back. I really want you to be happy, Samantha, even if it's with someone else. But I wanted you to know how I felt."
"I don't want to be with someone else, Jack. I only want you."
"And I only want you." He embraced her tighter.
"I laughed when you sang and danced, you know."
"Yeah, I heard." Jack smiled into her hair.
"If it hadn't been for the cameras, I'd have run after you and- "
"Hey, Babe, I know."
"Yeah, you do." When she pressed her damp nose against his shirt, Jack took pleasure knowing she was soiling his only white dress shirt.
"I swear we'll find a way to beat this," she said with her Carter kick butt attitude. Meanwhile her hot breath tickled his neck and sent high frequency signals to his libido.
'Whoa!' "Umm, I wanna believe that but the odds are against us, Dorothy."
"Must you always be the cynic?" She turned with that slight tilt to her head, her lips trembling as she puffed out a breath.
"Hey, that's what I am. Besides you're the optimist in our relationship."
"So we have a relationship?"
"Well as dysfunctional as it's been, yeah not counting the Special Ops days, seven years and counting, Dorothy of Kansas." He chuckled, brushing a kiss over her lips. 'Should not have done that, Jack.'
Sam leaned further into him and he embraced her longing gaze. "Stay with me tonight, Jack?"
"Can't." His brows shifted as he glanced away, fighting regret.
"Don't you want to make love to me?"
"What? Of course I do. It's just- "
"The regs?"
"Despite what George said, yeah there's that, but . . ." How did he tell her physical things were happening that hadn't the first time he went Ancient. Including the headache. More than his brain was being affected by the knowledge download. He couldn't function like a man, like a lover. He'd not realized it until she'd shown up this morning. Jack always awoke with an erection, not today. Yet if anything should have brought him to attention it would have been finding Sam at his door. It hadn't, let alone the rest of the time she'd been around him today. Not that his heart and head hadn't wanted her then, as he did now. It's just the signals weren't being transmitted from his libido to his manhood. Where was Viagra when you needed it?
Sam eased her hand down across his chest and his six-pack. He intercepted her exploring fingers, before she touched the evidence or the lack of. She glanced at his crotch and frowned. Leave it to Samantha Carter to realize what Jack tried to conceal.
"Holy Hannah! The download is altering your ability to reproduce!"
"Thanks for the medical evaluation, Doctor Carter." He brought her hand back to his thumping heart. "Look, I could care less that it's frying my brain, but it could have kept its Ancient claws off that vital part of my anatomy. Which for the record has never failed me before now." He couldn't look at her. "I believe the correct term's impotency."
Sam cupped his rigid face and gazed back amorously. "It doesn't matter, Jack. Never did."
"Hah! Easy for you to say!" he groundout, knowing he was the shade of a ripe tomato ready to burst.
"Hey, what we've got is more than sexual attraction. Always has been and will be or we wouldn't be here in each other's arms."
"I know, Sam. It's just the one thing we've not permitted ourselves to share with each other and . . .Well, here I'm about to kick the bucket, push up daisies, meet my Maker, and I can't even brand you mine . . .It sucks!"
"Brand me! If this is about ownership, O'Neill, I laid claim to you ages ago. Remember our vows on Chulak before Daniel, Teal'c and God Almighty?"
"Yes well sure. I figured it no longer mattered to you." He shrugged, fuming about Pete. "Besides we were drunk and neither of us recall consummating the marriage. Ah, you don't do you?"
"No," she sighed disappointedly. "And you?"
"Nah," he griped, recalling how they'd awakened in each other's arms, naked with headaches the size of Kansas. Of course, the moment Carter came around, reality bit them in the assets. One more secret they agreed to keep in the freaking room.
Sam tucked her head on his shoulder. "Jack, whether or not we made love, that night always mattered to me, still does."
"Really?"
"Uh um. First off, I was tipsy, not drunk, and knew exactly what I was doing."
"You did?"
"Yep."
"Well, if we're coming clean. It wasn't until after we did the, *I do's* that I got ripping drunk."
Sam giggled. "Me too. Guess we were pretty scared about the consequences of acting on our feelings, not to mention we'd just broken all the regs, huh?"
"Apparently. On the other hand, we thought we were going on a one-way non-refundable flight the next day." Just like now, he thought miserably.
"I know," she breathed against his whiskered jaw. "Even if we didn't make love that night. I'd always wanted to believe we did, and those vows were sacred and binding."
"According to our great all powerful wizard, Teal'c, they are. So we still hitched, Dorothy?" He arched a brow at her.
"Oh, yeah sure yabetcha." She found his open mouth and kissed him lightly, then deeper, sending hot breakers of passion crashing into his gut only to hit a wall. Frustrated, Jack broke away and looked into her desirable blue gaze. "Sam, I can still give you pleasure."
"Ssh!" She stood up drawing him to his feet. "I know it's selfish, but I don't want just part of you, Jack O'Neill. We don't need to join in the flesh to be one. We already are."
"Oy!" He nodded. "Sure." So why did her rejection feel like a right hook to his male ego? "Got to go." He slipped out of her grasp and strode quickly toward the door. Man, if he couldn't show her how much he loved and desired her, right here right now . . .
Sam snatched his wrist. Jack turned and glanced down with his pat blank expression.
"You are one stubborn jackass, O'Neill."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard! We've got two nights before we kick Anubis' butt and you're walking because you can't perform. That's a stupid male chauvinistic attitude, even for you!"
"Hey I'm a guy. What'd you expect?"
"A lot more," she countered. "You're hiding something else, O'Neill!"
"Well there's that. Sorry. Can we not talk about this?"
"Spill!"
"Fine! Fine!" His hands began talking for him. "There's wacko nut-so stuff going on inside me, Sam. I'm changing faster than Doctor Jeckle and Mister Hyde. And I don't know how long- "
"I know." She pressed her fingers to his lips. "So since you shouldn't drive for at least eight hours, let's go to bed like other married couples. We've got the weekend, Jack, let's take advantage of it. Okay?"
"Geez, Sam." He scrubbed his hand across his face and into his hair. "What exactly do you want from me?"
"I want to be with you as long as possible, to fall asleep in your arms and wake up in them." This time her blue eyes pleaded with him. "All these years you've been the one holding me, Jack. Let me hold you this time?"
How could he say no? Jack gave in and she led him to her bedroom. She set his dog tags on the bedside table beside hers. While he took off his shoes and shirt, Sam pulled back the covers. She stripped off her two-piece pajamas revealing a sheer blue camisole and a matching thong. His mouth dropped when even those came off. Had she any idea how beautiful she was? Sam shyly slipped beneath the covers while he finished undressing. And then he was down to his t-shirt and boxers. He headed for the bed.
"A ah." She gestured at his skivvies. "Drop 'em, Colonel!"
"Crap! These too?" He tugged the elastic waistband.
Sam nodded. "Far as I'm concerned this is our wedding night."
"Sweet, Mrs. O'Neill." He switched off the bedside lamp. The full moon's light bathed the room in soft warm light.
"Hum, I like the sound of that. Mrs. O'Neill," she rolled it around her tongue and then coaxed him with a curled finger and sultry smile.
"Me too." He tossed his shirt and boxes and slid besides her, pulling the blankets over them. When she rolled into his arms he eased one leg under her, and the other possessively over her slender hip as they cuddled face to face. Sam clasped her hands behind his neck, pressing into him. The total contact of skin on skin was electrifying. He heard her voice hitch, felt her lips tremble against his chest. Jack's heart kicked into high gear, while Whitney's sweet voice filtered through the house,
'Where do broken hearts go Can they find their way home Back to the open arms Of a love that's waiting there And if somebody loves you Won't they always love you I look in your eyes And I know that you still care for me'
Sam clung tighter and hummed their song against his chest, her breath warming him further. They'd waited so long for this kind of intimacy, he only regretted it couldn't be more. For the longest while they looked into one another's eyes and traced the familiar contours of the other's face reveling in the imminence that for one night was theirs.
"We're home, Babe," he whispered hoarsely.
"Back in the open arms of a love that's waiting there," Sam sang with Whitney.
Jack kissed her. Passionate. Possessive. Hungry. Tongue dueling lovers. But when he began to caress her intimately to pleasure her, she eased away.
"Ple- -ase, Jack?" her voice quivered. "I want to wait until we can enjoy this together," she rasped breathlessly against his whiskered jaw, so close to succumbing to his experienced caresses.
"Sam, I am enjoying this. You're my wife and-there may not ever be another time."
"No. I won't believe that." She clung to him harder, but caught his caressing hand and held it fast. "All I've ever wanted was to share this moment with you. To see and feel you not as my CO but as lovers are meant to be, as a husband and wife. Like we hoped and promised each other seven years ago."
"Me too, Sam. I'm sorry it took dying to bring me to my senses."
"Doesn't matter. From here on we're hitched right?"
"Hey, do pigs fly?" He chuckled against her neck.
"In our world they do." She laughed, caressing the hairs of his chest.
"You're brilliant, Carter." He laughed. "And you're all mine."
"Yeah sure yabetcha." She drew his hand to her lips and kissed his fingertips. "If we survive the invasion and figure out a way to reverse the download, we'll have to umm, decide what we're going to do from here on."
"I know exactly what we're going to do, Samantha Jean O'Neill." He inhaled the scent of her that was driving him crazy. "First, we're going to make this marriage binding in our world."
"We are?" She dragged a fingernail over the small cleft of his jaw and then sighed as if it was an amazing find.
"That's if you want to?"
"Oh, I do." She replaced her finger with her lips and then the tip of her tongue.
'Wow!' "Umm, good." Jack trembled. "And you also know how I feel about civilians and bureaucrats playing GI Joe. Why, I'd have myself busted the first week."
"Yeah, remember I'm brilliant?"
"So, if they're taking over the SGC, I'm going fishing. You can stay on and I'll become Mr. Suzy Homemaker and raise our 3.2 kids."
"That's nuts! You'd hate not being part of SG-1. You've retired several times because of us. This isn't- "
"The time to discuss it," his tone was firm and final. He nibbled her ear. "We'll work it out."
Her sigh was doubtful.
"Please Sam?" He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. "You must believe me."
"You've been the one safe bet in my life, Jack O'Neill. And I don't want to lose you again. If you survive this, I won't give up what we've finally found. Us." She snagged her lower lip.
"Hey there, Dorothy." He pulled her closer, kissing her dimples. "No one is giving up anything. Understood?"
She nodded against his cheek.
Jack yawned. "But we're back to business as usual at 0900 Monday especially with that Doctor Weird broad."
"Actually, Jack, it's Doctor Elizabeth Weir," she smiled in her voice.
"Whatever." He tickled her and his fingers tripped across her bare belly.
Sam snickered at his touch. "Rumor has it Kinsey will be there. You behave yourself."
"Bor-ing."
"Jack?"
"Fine. But no promises when it comes to Kinsey's smarmy butt. He's mine."
"That I like."
"You do?" He cocked a brow at her.
"Oh, yeah, love when you kick ass, flyboy."
"I love when you talk dirty, you hussy!"
"You ain't heard anything yet." She looked intently into his bloodshot eyes seeming to sense his exhaustion and pain. Her voice trembled, "Tell me about the headaches. Are they controllable? Constant?"
"Yes. No." He lied.
"Anything else?"
"Nope. Just let me know when I start talking gibberish?"
Sam fingered his gray chest hairs, counting them like when they used to sleep together. "Seventeen, eighteen," an instant turn on for Jack. He waited for liftoff. Nada.
"Now close your eyes, sleepyhead. Twenty-four-"
"I'd rather look at you, beautiful."
"But I'm counting. There's a lot more hairs than before."
"Yeah, they started to migrate southward. I'll probably go bald like I did that time on Argos." He chuckled.
Sam didn't respond, in fact her fingers stopped counting. Jack lifted her up and gazed into her eyes, knowing there were tears, she refused let fall. He reached over and kissed the skin-toned mole on her left cheek, then worked down to the one on her right cheek near her lips. Always wanted to kiss them in that order. Yeah, his lips lingered there, savoring the feel of her soft skin, while his hands roamed southward intent on their mission.
"Hey, that's a direct order, Colonel."
"Get a kick ordering me around, Major?" He pulled back and gave her his best CO disgruntled glint that usually got a gulp out of his 2IC. Not a flinch this time.
"Yes well I learned from the best, Sir." She yanked a chest hair.
"Ow!" He winced. "Hey, you've got a lot more to tweak, Wonder Woman. His hands went for her breasts, but she wiggled away.
"Down Junior." She knew exactly what he was up too.
"Ma'am, Junior can't get anymore down this." He placed her hot hand directly on the object of her order, hoping that would get a rise out of him. Sam began to caress him fully. A full minute passed. Nada!
"Sorry," she sighed regret and slipped her hand back to his chest.
"Hey, can't blame the bride for trying." He laughed to conceal his disappointment. If Sam's touch couldn't fix him, it was hopeless.
Sam recovered smoothly. "Now for the last time go to sleep, husband!"
"Nag, nag, nag," he broke off, and settled his head against the pillow, pulling her with him and shutting his aching eyes.
Bending over, Sam kissed his eyelids and then lingered on his left brow. Why, he had no idea. Jack sighed against the sweet brush of her kisses. "Hey, you're not going to be one of those bitchy wives are you?"
"Only in our bedroom." She turned so they could spoon and his arms encircled her possessively.
"Well then, that kind of nagging I can live with, blue eyes."
"Thought so," she sighed, then spoke softly, "Good night, my someone, good night . . ." Sam's gentle fingers smoothed the cress between his tensed brows.
Her repetition of his farewell words two days before reassured Jack, she'd always known he loved her. He embraced her tighter. "I hadn't meant for it to sound sarcastic, Sam, it just came out that way."
A soft sob broke from her lips. "You don't need to explain. I knew you were speaking to me, it was poor George who was confused."
"Huh?"
"You were looking at him."
"Oops. I didn't realize."
She smiled against his arm. "That's okay, I think he figured it out."
"Sure?"
"Positive."
A moment passed.
"Samantha, in a few days or less I won't be me. This crap in my head will take over. I'm going to do things I don't understand and can't control and the part that's Jack is going to get buried." Literally, he dismally thought. "Even if I survive, I may not remember . . ."
"Us? Yes, I know."
"I mean it didn't happen last time, but if I forget today, tonight or what happens after I go Ancient you got to promise to tell me, no matter what?"
"Promise."
"Good. Because when I get overtaken with this Ancient crapola, you know become distant and I mean really distant."
"Repressed?" He heard the smirk in her voice.
"Yeah, but with a gigantic R."
"I'm prepared for whatever happens. I will get you back, I promise."
Jack turned Sam in his arms face to face and nuzzled closer. There wasn't anything else to say. Come Monday morning the next two days together would seem like a dream. Just like the other occasions over the past seven years when they'd come together like this and held on through the night, they would face the repercussions head on. Yeah, they would fall back into their military routines of CO and his 2IC. He'd be Sir. She'd be Major. They would walk and talk SG-1, and the mission at hand. No one would be the wiser. As usual Sam would overcompensate for whatever guilt trip their breaking regs would bring her. He could already hear Colonel and Sir spilling out of her at every opportunity, her way of establishing, "We are Air Force first, Sir!" And her chin will jut out, then tuck in, because she was tense, anxious or both. He'd long learned to not take it personally. Then again, he'd done the same to her in far worse ways.
Yeah, he pretty much knew how it'd go down. He'd spoken to Hammond from home Friday afternoon, requested that Sam be given the latitude to take command of SG-1 and the mission, once he started going radical Ancient. She hadn't said anything and he figured she wouldn't until she felt it necessary. Jack trusted her and would let her know. He would make it easier for her. No matter how brief, they would have their moment and when it came, he'd resign, so they could share their last embrace and kiss.
Jack hoped that in the end, Sam wouldn't pity the stranger he'd become, babbling a lost language, losing focus of her and all they'd had, no matter how short it had been. His heart grew heavy with the knowledge he had already acquired. For the most part, he would rely on Daniel to translate whatever gushed out of his mouth, let alone when. Unlike last time Jack not only knew what to expect, he knew more than he wanted.
If successful, he would not return from this mission. Not unless God intervened. Last night he'd had a dream that was as real as the woman in his arms. Jack had been locked in frigid darkness staring out at Sam, a single tear frozen in place. All he was able to say was, 'Goodbye.' Daniel and Teal'c were there. Jack saw and heard everything, but couldn't move or speak. His mind yelled out to Sam, but she didn't hear him. In that instant, he knew how she'd felt when the Entity had possessed her three years ago. Screaming to the world and no one answering. Hell as a Popsicle!
In the dream, Sam walked toward him her blue eyes wet with tears, her lips trembling as she placed her open palm against the frozen fluid container that separated them. Sam gazed at him with more love than he thought one man could ever know, let alone deserved.
Teal'c and Daniel assured Sam they'd return and both men pulled her out of his sight and of hearing her desperate sobs as she called him, not Colonel, not Sir, but Jack. And then, she was gone, leaving him in the stark emptiness of nothing. Alone. Forever.
Tomorrow, Jack would speak privately with Teal'c. The Jaffa would not only understand, he'd honor Jack's request. Sam didn't know that after Daniel's ascension Jack had opened his heart to the Jaffa although, it'd take an eight-pack of beer to spill his guts. Jack was now grateful it had happened. Daniel would always be Sam's lifelong kid brother like bud. But he was still the absentminded professor when it came to common sense. And since his de-ascension, there were still gaps in Daniel's memory.
Oh, the kid realized Jack and Sam cared for each far more than they should, but he seemed more preoccupied than ever with work. Heck, he hadn't even mentioned their marriage on Chulak which three and half years ago had been Daniel's greatest shining diplomatic moment. Yeah, like he took credit for Jack asking Sam to marry him. Don't think so, Space Monkey. And now for some warped reason Jack hadn't reminded him, nor had Sam. So levelheaded Teal'c would have primary care of Sam. Not that his kick butt 2IC couldn't take care of herself. Jack just needed reassurance she would be watched over. Teal'c promised.
Jack unconsciously brushed his fingertips up and down Sam's spine, relishing the feel of her softness pressed into him, the rise and fall of her breasts against his chest. She was here. She was his. Forever.
"I can tell you're awake. Please get some shuteye?" She yawned into his shoulder.
Nodding, he stilled his loving caresses, lowered his breathing to match hers, became one with her heartbeat, one with her soft feminine curves perfectly molded to his hard masculine lines. One. She was right. But then Sam usually was. They didn't need to physically make love to be bonded, to know what the other thought, felt or desired. *Okay* had replaced one word most people took for granted. Jack would never take Sam for granted again or her love for him. Odd, he had not spoken those three little words, nor had she. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. It didn't matter. Never had. Here. Now. This was all either of them needed. If the last memory Jack O'Neill had before going Ancient was being in the arms of his wonder woman, he'd die one happy camper. Yeah, they really were, okay.
Like his first time download, deep sleep never came. For the rest of the night, he adored Sam's slumbering beauty that included his smirking when she drooled, and choking on laughter while, *Ms. I don't snore* sawed some whopping logs for almost an hour. He'd even pinched her sweet nose a few times, but she hauled off and slugged him. He easily imagined spending the rest of his life sleeping with this woman. Man, if becoming a Jacksicle could ensure twenty thousand plus such nights like this. That! That would be worth it. ~*~
CHAPTER SIX
'A Little Luck Of Our Own' Keith Urban
Sometime before dawn, Jack slipped out of bed to shower. Opening the cabinet for a bath towel, he found a shelf of masculine products. He figured they were Petty's. His chest tightened at the thought of another man holding Sam, making love to her. That vision vanished. Each packaged item was identical to those in Jack's base locker, right down to the English Leather cologne, disposable razors and shaving cream. A smirk claimed Jack's mouth. The little fox, he thought, grinning further when he found a set of his casual preference clothes, including boxers, t-shirt and socks.
~*~
Sam knew the moment Jack left her arms. She thought he was just going to relieve himself, and then heard the shower startup. The urge to join him fueled her desire. But she knew Jack. Last night he'd held her when he'd desperately wanted to make love to her, receiving his pleasure by giving her pleasure.
He'd also had that download headache and had been exhausted. The most stubborn man she knew was Jack O'Neill, driven and focused when he put his mind to it. Yeah, Sam doubted she'd be able to resist his persistent touches in the steamy heat of a shower, intimate caresses that would rock her world and leave her senseless. And that intimacy would change things even more between them. Funny, how even the tiniest particle rays of the sun's light creeping across her bedroom floor put things into a different perspective?
"Yeah, funny," she muttered bitterly, climbing out of bed and donning her mid-length cotton robe then padding to the half bath, where she kept extra toiletries. Sam scrubbed her face, brushed her teeth, gargled, and put a comb to her fine blonde hair that was in need of a shampoo.
"You better not hog all the hot water," she groused with a grin. In the kitchen, she dumped the untouched coffee and started more. Opening a cupboard door she noted the loosened hinge. "Whoops! Poor doors." She just had to find another way to relieve her stress. Well she had, she grinned. But at present, her husband was in need of some minor repairs himself.
Sam couldn't stop thinking, one the pitfalls of her personality that Jack made a point of a lot. Right now, take charge, alpha male Colonel O'Neill was vulnerable, at least as much as his mulish Irish blood would allot. Sam wouldn't do anything to deflate his ego or make him question his masculinity.
Logic said, it was better this way, or so she tried to convince herself. In a few hours they would be back at the SGC in military mode. Jack, Colonel. Sam, Carter. Jack would be crass, bravado, witty and more obnoxious than usual, if that was possible. This happened when he was stressed or frightened to death. How anyone but her CO could find humor, even if sarcastic in the worse case scenario, well it was a rare gift. A gift Sam admired, because upon many near-death- encounters with Jack, his mouth had kept her afloat, often, because she wanted to shut it, herself.
It would be far worse if Jack withdrew. She preferred his verbal abuse to his steely brooding silence. On the upside, no matter how he handled it, they would steal some affectionate glances but that's all they would share from here on.
So why hadn't they shared those three little words yet? Sam swallowed. She knew darn well, why. First it had been years since they'd uttered those tangible words to each other. Secondly, it seemed that if they did, there was no turning back, especially for her. Jack had long committed himself to Sam and to waiting. Yeah, and most folks thought Jack O'Neill was impatient. Man, were they wrong. That alone plagued her with guilt. He'd been faithful and earnest in his love for her. She'd let him down. She'd had Pete. She also suspected that as much as Jack loved her, his bruised ego and heart needed that declaration to come from her first. So for now, it was okay for them to be okay. Talk about clich.
Crossing to the refrigerator for bacon and eggs, Sam spotted Jack's ragtag crossword puzzle. He had at least twelve erased answers. She chuckled. Daniel wasn't helping, sure thing! Why else would Jack have erased them? Unless, nah, he wouldn't be jerking her chain would he? Yeah, he would. Sam had long known Jack was genius level. He just needed the right motivator, her.
Another clue caught Sam's eye, 'celestial body?' She could imagine what his answer for that would be. She counted the blocks. Well, at least Mary Steenburgen didn't fit. As her eyes skimmed the remaining clues a tear tracked her right cheek. There was no clue for, 'glad.' This man she loved was far more an enigma than any crossword puzzle.
"Hey." He stood in the archway, leaning against its frame, hands stuffed in his front pockets beneath his un-tucked shirt.
"Hey." She squashed the tear before he saw it and smiled.
Jack strolled into the kitchen wearing the outfit he'd left at her house almost four years ago. Thankfully beige cargo khakis and hunter green polo shirts were still in style.
"Got great taste in fashion, Babe." He pointed to his clothes.
"Yeah, I know this guy who believes if it's not comfortable don't wear it."
"Sweet. But I'm disappointed." His grin ironed out.
"Really?" Sam frowned, thinking he looked as O'Neill as ever.
"Yeah, no sweats."
"Well, apparently you didn't snoop far enough." She pulled out the toaster and winked.
"I didn't?"
"Didn't."
"Whatcha know." His brows meshed and he glanced behind. "Anything else you got stashed with my name I should know about?"
"Hang around long enough, you'll be surprised." She turned and held his twinkling coffee hued eyes.
"Can't wait to find out." He sauntered closer.
"So what's stopping you, flyboy?"
"Nada." He grinned so deep and sexy, she wanted to jump him. The next moment his long arms had her pinned, pulling her to his chest.
"Ah . . . still have morning breath." She leaned back, wondering how far he'd go to find out.
Jack rubbed his nose to hers, sniffed, and dove for her lips. "I'm easy."
"That's because you're a love sick fool, ya know."
"I am?" He wagged his brows.
"For sure."
"And you're not?"
"Actually I'm a-."
The phone rang. Jack snatched it up and barked, "What!"
Sam winced at his rude salutation, then grinned with his, 'oops sorry' look. Jack pressed the conference call button.
"Jack?"
"Daniel?"
Gasping, Sam dropped onto a stool and buried her face in her hands.
"Jack?"
"What?" he'd settled into his loud grating voice.
"Sorry, I thought I'd dialed Sam's house."
"You did." Jack straddled the stool beside Sam and put his arm about her, tickling her ribs.
She glanced up to find him grinning like a cat that had just swallowed a mouse.
"Oh! Um, well, that explains why I got your voicemail. Hey, we need you and Sam at the SGC ASAP, Doctor Weir arrived last night and-"
"I don't care if the president arrived. It's 0652 Daniel! Sunday! We're on downtime until tomorrow 0900."
"Jack! I'm not on a secure line. Bra'tac gated in. There's some serious Anubis shit going down and to top it off, Anubis' mini-me Kinsey is here."
"Crap!" Jack scowled at Sam and dragged his hand through his hair.
Sam shook her head. What else could go wrong?
"We're on our way. Bye."
"Jack?"
"Daniel?" He leaned over, kissed Sam and she sighed into his mouth near the receiver, then giggled when he tickled her.
"Hey, umm, I didn't interrupt anything did I?"
Jack pulled back and winked at his wife. "Yes, Daniel, you did."
Daniel gulped audibly and hung up. Jack stared down at the dead phone and snickered.
"Oh, that was cruel." She nuzzled his chin but grinned.
"Yep, and I so enjoyed it. Now get your pretty behind into the shower, woman, before I join you." He winked roguishly.
"Nag, nag, nag!" Sam tossed him a kiss before rushing to get ready.
Jack put away the food and toaster and then shut off the coffee pot. He'd been about to ask Sam to go to church with him until Daniel called. Anubis and Kinsey! The devil's advocates. Could it get worse? A painful bright light flashed in his mind's eye and then defined images. One was a sphere of roaring fire, the other a vast frozen landscape. Both scared the life out of him. His hands shaking, Jack stuffed his crossword puzzle into his back pocket and then collapsed on the sofa.
Humbled by the vision, he dropped his head in his hands and prayed, "Dear Lord, hey faithful Jack here . . .Anytime you wanna drive, let me know?"
~*~
Fifteen minutes later, with Sam in her blue BDU's they shared a long delicious kiss before they locked up her house and left, rushing to Jack's truck. Knowing what laid ahead, their brief hours of bliss became swallowed-up by the inevitable reality. Jack was going Ancient.
"Here, Carter." Jack tossed over his keys.
"Sir?" They'd settled back into their conventional roles.
"Feeling a little out of it." He pressed a thin smile.
"Headache?" Her concerned gaze searched his brown one before he donned his shades.
"Sorta." He locked onto his deadpan expression and opened the driver's door for her, then gave her a lift up into the seat.
When their hands grazed Sam held on. "Sir?"
Jack looked up and smiled. "Hey, I'm fine. Let's get to work." He gave her one last squeeze, slammed the door and climbed in.
The drive was beyond long. Both deep in thought of what dreadful news Bra'tac had brought and of each other. Jack ate more Aspirin. Sam noted how much the crease had deepened between his brows. Fatigue lines etched his eyes. He was in pain, but wouldn't admit it.
Jack fiddled with the radio and finally settled on Country. Oddly, she knew it wasn't his favorite but he knew she liked it. She was about to tell him to turn the dial when a song from Keith Urban started. Sam knew the lyrics. Reaching over she put her hand on his forearm and squeezed.
"Sir, I think this is for us."
'The cards are staking up against us, These days our luck is running low It's hard to explain but a little bit of rain Seems to follow us wherever we go
Black cat sittin' on a ladder Broken mirror on the wall We're not a bit superstitious No need to worry at all
'Cause when we can't roll a seven And our last lucky penny is gone This world can be tough But I know when our love is this strong We can make a little luck of our own, luck of our own
This storm is only temporary But you and I are here to stay Baby can't you se true love is all we need So just throw that rabbit's foot away
Cause when we can't roll a seven And our last lucky penny is gone This world can be tough But I know when our love is this strong We can make a little luck of our own, luck of our own
Oh we can make it baby
Cause when we can't roll a seven And our last lucky penny is gone This world can be tough But I know when our love is this strong We can make a little luck of our own, luck of our own
We can make a little of our own We can make it baby Make a little luck of our own'
"Yeah, it is." Jack smiled, squeezed her hand, and then dropped his head back with a sigh.
Knowing Jack didn't believe in luck, Sam smiled inwardly. Yes they'd make their own luck. They already had.
When they approached a billboard for 'Garden of the Gods Park', Sam decided to distract him. "Sir?"
"What?"
"When we get back from whopping Anubis, you owe me a date."
"I do?"
"Yep."
He glanced at the park sign and she caught the wisp of a smile on his straight mouth. "Anything particular you wanna do, Carter?"
"Nope." She pulled into the passing lane and gunned it to the next off ramp.
"Umm . . .wanna see my trees?"
She grinned at their familiar exchange. "Not etchings, Sir?"
"Nope. Just trees. But not just any trees, our trees."
"Really?"
Jack turned and gestured with his hands. "See there's this huge ancient blue spruce, called the O'Neill Carter tree, where some lovesick fool carved a heart with the initials, 'J loves S, Forever Okay.'"
"Do tell!"
"Yeah, I do." He smirked, and his tensed brow relaxed. "Carter?"
"Sir?"
"You're evil."
"So you've said, Sir." She grinned.
~*~
Six miles from base, Jack cupped his hand over her right knee. With a visible tremor Sam interlaced his long strong fingers and held on. When she gazed across, he'd removed his shades. His dark eyes were moist as he squinted into the bright morning light. She didn't know if it was his headache or emotion. Sam knew this man. From here on, unless they had a private moment, he would not shed a tear. Not here. Not now. Not at the base. Her brave, in charge CO, Colonel Jack O'Neill. Forever heroic. Forever soldier.
If there were two important values Sam had learned from serving with Jack O'Neill they were never leave anyone behind and never give up. He hated to hear 'we're not going to make it!' An exchange he'd had with her dad sometime back. Her heart aching, Sam chided herself to be strong for him. More than once, Jack had acknowledged how much he admired her physical endurance and inner strength. The day she'd survived the encounter with Anubis' drone, he'd insisted she was the bravest person he knew. Jack shared, how he'd believed that if anyone could have survived that explosion, or outwitted the drone it would be her.
When everyone had given up hope, including her dad, Jack continued to believe she'd survived, because she would never give up. Ironically the very moment she had done just that, Jack arrived, because he would not give up on finding her alive.
Jack had no idea how much she respected him for those same qualities. Never give up! All because Colonel Jack O'Neill had pounded that philosophy into her skull since the first day they'd met.
"Don't give up on us, Jack."
"I won't, Dorothy."
Three miles later at the stoplight, just shy of the base's gate, Jack turned to her. "Look, Carter, I want to tell you . . ."
Sam shut him up with a fervent tongue-clashing kiss, after which she grinned into his stupefied expression. "Love to make you speechless, Sir."
"Wow! Glad you do, Carter." Jack slipped on his shades, leaned back into his seat and smiled. ~*~
CHAPTER SEVEN
'Straw Man' Nit
I'm the man of straw standing in The meadow-ow Chasing crows away they call me A scarecrow Man of straw (oh oh oh) I'm the man of straw they call me A scarecrow-ow I stand here all day long in the Rain and snow Man of straw
0815 SGC Briefing Room
Before the initial meeting, Daniel filled them in about on his dawn encounter with Doctor Elizabeth Weir, and his fledgling confidence, that Weir wanted the best for the SGC and SG-1. Teal'c and Bra'tac seemed encouraged. Sam was. Jack was Jack. Distrusting of anything with the title of doctor let alone pen pusher.
Meanwhile, Jack's stomach growled loud enough for Sam to hear. Yeah, breakfast would have been nice, she sighed when her belly rumbled. Instead of his usual side chair, Jack claimed the end of the conference table opposite from where Weir would sit. Clearly, Jack's rebel nature intended to challenge the new administrator and leave no doubt, he commanded SG-1. Either way, it meant fireworks.
For the moment Jack stood talking with Bra'tac. While to Sam's left, Daniel leaned into the back of his chair yawning. Teal'c stood behind Jack looking at the Stargate map, but she knew he heard every word.
Fidgeting, Jack twirled his pen and glanced over at Sam, again. Their eye contact was emotionally heart stopping and sexually electrifying. She'd only hoped to exchange a few private gazes throughout the day. It wasn't even 0815 and Jack had far exceeded her expectations. Her colonel was downright flirting with her. She loved it.
On the other end of the spectrum, Jack played drop and kick with Daniel. Deadly O'Neill glints. And all because Daniel hadn't made any qualms about what he assumed happened last night with her and Jack. Both agreed to not give the nosy linguist an inch, at least not yet. Let him suffer was Jack's present state of mind. Trouble was, when Jack made Daniel suffer it was usually at her expense. Sam's patience had worn thin. If Daniel winked or nudged her one more time, she was going to deck the diehard romantic and apologize later. Maybe.
"You know Teal'c insisted we were interrupting you two yesterday morning," he wouldn't let go.
"There was nothing to interrupt," she whispered, preferring to hear what Bra'tac had to say. After all this was a potential War of the Worlds. "We were talking, you know."
"And this morning?" he snickered.
She glared and with her middle finger nudged his glasses up the bridge of his nose with more force than needed.
"Ow! Gotcha." He removed his glasses and rubbed his smarting nose.
"Good." She shook her head as if reprimanding an incorrigible child.
Thankfully, Teal'c remained his stoic self, although he did smile more than usual, considering the dour circumstances. Then again, Teal'c seemed to know all when it came to Sam and Jack.
"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, Doctor Jackson," Bra'tac pressed, "Anubis plans to attack in three days!"
That got Sam and Daniel's attention.
Jack dropped his open report on the table and sarcastically groused, "Three days from tomorrow is a Thursday. Thursday's not good for us."
As usual Jack incorporated his smug wit to soften the crushing situation. Bra'tac just stared. The Jaffa's lack-less sense of humor never ceased to amaze Sam or annoy Jack.
Sam drowned Jack's groan by asking, "Why now?"
"Anubis believes that we know the location of the Lost City." Teal'c came alongside Jack.
"We don't." Sam looked at Jack.
"Not yet." He glanced over.
"Yes, but *he* doesn't know that we don't know," Daniel stated conceitedly.
"Oh! Well, some people just don't know when to leave." The antichrist strolled in with his Secret Service agent and a cute blonde. Folder clutched under her left arm, the petite woman looked downright nervous.
Sam glanced at Jack, who already wore his, going to eat her for breakfast expression. This could be one stressed briefing. Knowing Jack's lack of diplomacy, Sam prayed he kept his temper in tow.
"Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter, Teal'c. "I know these are strange circumstances to be meeting for the first time."
Teal'c nodded.
Sam and Daniel smiled.
Jack kept his poker face until Sam eyed-balled him with a 'hey, give her a freaking break' look.
He conceded with a shrug. However leaning on the table he asked the doctor with an exaggerated tone, "And *you* are?"
"I am . . .Doctor Elizabeth Weir, Colonel." She smiled warmly.
Kinsey snickered. "You can just call her your one hope of ever stepping through the Stargate again."
"Bit of a mouthful." Jack tossed back.
'Go Sir!' Sam grinned.
"I know, I'm playing catch-up, but I understand that time is short," Weir stated as she leaned one arm on the back of her chair.
"Actually, it's all relative, Ma'am. Carter could explain it better if we had more time." Jack gestured to her.
Sam blushed at his play on words. She loved her man.
"Shall we have a seat then?" Weir suggested.
Jack nodded and the rest of his team followed his lead. Teal'c sat to Jack's right beside Bra'tac. Sitting to Jack's left, Sam pulled her chair up to the table while Doctor Weir settled in Hammond's former chair. Regret pricked Sam. She missed the general. Meanwhile, Kinsey sat to Weir's left. His Secret Service man took a chair away from the table and spoke into his headset. Crossing her arms on the table, Sam side-glanced Jack, while he leaned on the table rubbing his brow. Her heart twisted. The headache must be worse. She'd tried to make him see Doctor Warner but he'd refused.
"Obviously this is a situation of great importance." Weir looked at everyone as Jack took his seat.
"She's quick," Jack quipped tapping his pen against his report.
Kinsey gloated. "Which is why I've taken it upon myself to come down here and see what Mr. Bra'tac has to say personally."
"Master Bra'tac . . .*Master*," Jack emphasized.
"I beg your pardon." Kinsey snorted and then gestured to Bra'tac. "So . . .You believe the Goa'uld Anubis is planning to attack?" His attitude was sarcastic.
"You may be certain of it," Bra'tac answered.
Kinsey shook his head and glanced around the table. "I'll say this . . . the timing is impeccable. The moment we suspend Stargate operations . . .you pull this out of your hat."
Scowling Jack glanced at Teal'c and Bra'tac, then addressed Kinsey, "Mr. *Vice* President, if you're suggesting that we'd make something like this up . . ."
"Yes Colonel, that's exactly what I'm suggesting."
"Yes well, that is exactly what we do; we sit around on our fat *asses* . . ." his voice pitched, "and create scenarios that put the planet at *risk*. That's exactly what we *do*!"
Here we go! Sam shook her head and exchanged a grimace with Daniel who was already sighing.
"Oh, I think you'd do just about anything . . ."
"Gentlemen. For the purposes of this discussion, let's assume that Master Bra'tac is in earnest and that the threat is real," Doctor Weir interrupted calmly.
Not bad, Sam mused.
Daniel's scholarly features flinched with irritation. "Do you even know what the threat is? Anubis is a half Goa'uld, half ascended Ancient. With the knowledge and technology at his disposal to wipe us all from the face of the Earth."
"What about negotiating?" Weir offered.
"Oh for crying out loud, that's derantis!"
Sam tensed and like everyone else stared at Jack. Silence hung heavy. She nudged him with her boot.
"What?"
"You just said derantis." Daniel blue eyes widened.
"Did not."
"Did to."
"Derantis, what is that?" Jack glanced at Sam.
She shrugged.
"Latin?" Kinsey suggested.
"No it's not." Weir noted.
"I think what Colonel O'Neill is trying to say is that based on our past experiences negotiating would be insane . . .crazy," Daniel clarified.
"Yeah, I got that." Weir nodded.
"However, we believe that there may be alien technology within our reach that could defeat Anubis," Sam injected purposely, receiving a smile and nod from Jack.
Kinsey chuckled. "So, now you're pulling a ray gun out of your hat."
Jack rolled his eyes and snuffed.
"Weapons capable of defending this planet," Teal'c insisted.
"I can't believe we're sitting here listening to this!" Kinsey glared at Jack.
He glared back.
Doctor Weir came to Jack's defense. "Mr. Vice President, on his last mission . . ."
"Oh, I am aware of the events, that have once again compromised Colonel O'Neill's invaluable judgment."
Jack shook his head and scribbled, 'Kinsey's an ass,' on his note pad for Sam's eyes. She nodded as he continued to scribble other obscenities. Well at least he wasn't saying them.
" . . .And the fact that on his last official mission, he has incurred the wrath of humanity's worst enemy on behalf of us all."
Jack's head snapped up. "Wait a minute." He shook a finger at Kinsey. "I thought you didn't buy into the whole invasion thing."
"The fact is, until we know the location of the Lost City . . ." Weir began.
"I know where it is."
Sam looked at her CO. So did the others.
"You know where it is now?" Doctor Weir looked hopeful.
"I will. It's in there somewhere." Jack gestured to himself. He had Weir's attention and everyone else.
"Look, let me make this simple." Jack stared at Doctor Weir head on. "If I come up with the Lost City, we go find it. Yes or no?"
"No!" Kinsey bellowed.
Jack glanced at Kinsey then leaning forward, extended his arm and pointed at Weir. "Who are you . . .really? And *why* are you here?"
Sam held her breath.
A moment passed.
"I will consider it." Doctor Weir nodded.
Kinsey scowled.
"Thank you." Jack acknowledged her sincerely.
"You're welcome."
Sam smiled. 'Yes!'
Bra'tac stood. "I must return to Chulak."
"I, too will go, in the hope of procuring ships and warriors in order to defend this world," Teal'c addressed the table.
"Good luck," Weir said with approval.
Everyone rose to leave.
Jack snapped up his folder and glanced at Sam. "Well, that was the briefing from hell," he muttered while he rubbed his neck.
"You did great, Sir." She smiled. "Kinsey went for your jugular but never sucked a drop. I thought you were amazing!" Sam was proud of her man. From what she could tell so were Daniel, Teal'c and Bra'tac. Besides Jack, the only bright light in the meeting had been Doctor Weir. Sam noted the vice president on Weir's six.
"Love to be a fly on that wall." Daniel gestured as Kinsey shut the door on Weir's office and the window shades dropped into place.
"Yeah, our new administrator just made her first enemy." Sam sighed shaking her head.
"Well there's that." Jack headed for the stairs. Sam followed.
"I'm going back to my lab, guys," Daniel said jogging pass them.
"You do that, Danny, and digest another library while you're there, preferably on ancient dead languages."
"Funny," Daniel snickered and kept walking.
Taking the steps beside Sam, Jack's pace slowed as his head dropped with weariness.
"Sir, go to the infirmary now," she said with the tact of a badgering wife.
Drawing a deep breath, Jack glanced up. "Don't nag, Carter."
"I'm not nagging. I'm concerned." They halted on the midway landing.
"I know." His mouth arched a bit. "And I will. Promise"
"Good." She touched his forearm and then dropped it to her side reluctantly.
"Think T can get us a scout ship?" He shifted gears.
"Hope so," she offered, sounding far from enthusiastic.
Jack picked up on her mood and gave her his best stern glint. "Don't go soft on me, Major." At his brusque CO address Sam straightened and nodded.
"Me soft? Never, Sir!"
"Better." He smiled.
Taking advantage of the vacant stairs and landing, Sam and Jack discussed their line of strategy to reach Atlantis, of course, after Jack located it. They decided to approach Doctor Weir about obtaining the Prometheus for the mission, especially if Teal'c couldn't come through on a scout ship. A moment later, Kinsey stormed out of Weir's office and stomped down the steps, with his agent on his tail, speaking into his earphone. Sam took an appropriate step back beside Jack and the railing to give the Vice President leeway. When she teetered, Jack cupped her shoulder to keep her upright while he glared at the passing lowlife. Kinsey was beet red. She didn't know anyone could look that mad and not stroke. Obviously, his post briefing with Weir had not gone well. That alone would put Jack on Weir's side.
Halting before them, Kinsey glanced to where Jack's hand lightly rested on her shoulder. Something dark snapped in the politician's beady eyes. "You two are an embarrassment to the uniforms you wear!"
"Excuse me?" Jack's grip tightened on Sam before he lowered his arm.
Sam glanced at Jack. His jaw flexed, his stress line deepened. Yikes!
"You heard me, O'Neill!" He sneered at Sam as if she were second hand furniture. "I've been watching you two for years. Got enough dirt on you playing kissy face to see you both court marshaled for fraternization and rotting in prison for twenty years! You didn't just hit on my daughter at that White House Ball, O'Neill. You," he glared at Sam, "Scored with the former Captain Carter!"
The blood drained from Sam's face.
"Major, if you don't mind, I'd like a Hallmark moment with our blusterous *Vice* President."
"Colonel?" She shook her head. "I think it best we walk away now."
"Carter, that's an order!"
"With all due respect, Sir." She gestured at the Secret Service agent less three steps up away, his needled gaze locked on Jack, his right hand on the revolver inside his suit jacket.
Kinsey taunted, "Yes, by all means take a swing, Colonel. Then I won't have to drag out my surveillance tapes of how many times you two have shacked up the past seven years, including last night!"
Sam paled. She watched the furrow between Jack's brows track to his hairline. Kinsey was a dead man walking!
"Hey, Jack, Sam, I just remembered . . ." Daniel and Siler wheeled around the corner to the staircase and halted. Daniel visibly paled. "Whoops!"
Sam exchanged a look with him. Daniel understood. So did Siler, who took several steps back and swallowed.
"Jack?" The linguist diplomatically addressed his friend and sauntered toward them.
"Not now, Danny!" Jack didn't break eye contact with Kinsey.
Sam nodded at Daniel.
"He's not worth it, Jack," Daniel maintained.
"Maybe I think he is. Maybe it's time someone kicks his smarmy pimpled ass. Maybe that someone's me!"
"Well, Colonel, I'm waiting?" Kinsey goaded and jabbed Jack's chest with two fingers. Twice.
His left hand raised, the bodyguard took one step within arm's reach of Kinsey. "Mr. Vice President, please don't!" The man shook his head and scowled.
Jack glanced casually down to where Kinsey's fingers prepared for another jab. He grabbed Kinsey's assaulting digits and squeezed before he let go. "I believe your man just witnessed you physically assault an officer of the United States Air Force."
Kinsey winced with pain and glared with threat at his agent.
Jack let go as if revolted from touching him.
"Sorry, Mr. Vice President." The agent nodded. "You did."
"I second that." Sam glared at Kinsey.
"Me too." Daniel glanced at Siler.
"Sure, why not." He nodded.
"As do I," Elizabeth Weir announced from the top of the staircase.
All heads turned up, including Kinsey.
Behind Daniel two SF's marched toward the stairs. Weir instructed them, "Please escort Vice President Kinsey to the surface."
"I am the Vice President of the United States. You can't kick me out, Doctor!"
"According to President Hayes, I can!" The angry blonde leaned on the railing and glowered at him. "Now get out!" She flung a hand toward the corridor.
Jack walked down the remaining stairs pulling Sam with him, and then made sure she was out of Kinsey's line of fire. "After you, Kinsey." He made a sweeping wave with his hand, his middle finger ironically the one showing.
Kinsey glared and spat, "You'll fry, O'Neill!"
"Actually, I prefer broiled or baked, less fat you know." Jack chuckled, but his brown eyes narrowed on the man.
The SF's turned to escort the vice president topside. Kinsey sputtered but stormed down the corridor. As the Secret Service agent followed, he smiled approvingly at Sam and then Jack. "Man, you got balls, Colonel, I've been wanting to deck him for months!"
"Want two fresh, cheese Danish and two black coffees to go, son." Jack winked.
The young agent halted, his hazel eyes lighting up with that seven-year-old memory jog. "You got it, Colonel." He chuckled, hurrying off after his ward.
With Kinsey still in view Jack waved. "Don't let the door hit you in the assets, Mr. *Vice* President. Next time we'll invite the press," he called after Kinsey. "Hey, we'll even throw a roast in your honor. I'll bring cake!"
Sam wanted to laugh at Jack's full circle attitude, but Kinsey's threat was too fresh.
"Now she's got balls!" Jack glanced up at Doctor Weir, and then murmured to Sam, "Think I like her."
"Me too." Sam looked at the doctor and smiled her appreciation.
Shaking her blonde head Elizabeth Weir stared down at them. Her gaze settled on Jack. "Colonel?"
"Doctor?" He jammed his fists in his pockets and rocked on his heels.
"You owe me big time!"
Jack winced and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Sir." Sam jabbed his waist.
"Hey, I'm thinking here."
"Thank the good Doctor!" She nudged harder.
"Yeah sure yabetcha, Ma'am." He smiled up at her.
Weir nodded and returned to her office.
"Geez, this means I got to start all over with those freaking IOU's." Jack sniffed a breath.
"At least you're starting fresh," she reminded him.
"Well there's that."
A few feet away, Siler wheezed, turned and walked away shaking his head as usual.
"Wow!" Daniel peered at her and Jack. "So care to explain what that was about?"
"No!" they said in unison.
"Like do you two have that word choreographed or what?"
Before Sam could speak, Jack walked over and put his arm around Daniel's shoulders. "Time we had a chat, Danny boy."
"Sir?" Sam was openly concerned.
"Don't fret the tribial, Carter."
"It's trivial, Sir. And give me one reason why I shouldn't!" She crossed her arms and glared, willing him not to share their latest twist of fate with anyone, even Daniel.
"Because, we're *okay*." He smiled and winked.
"Oh." She squinted warily at him.
"Yeah, really. Be back in a few."
Sam nodded. No doubt, Daniel was about to have his memory rebooted.
Daniel glanced nervously over at her.
"Don't worry," she reassured him, "he only eats smarmy vice presidents for breakfast."
"Funny," Jack shot back as the two men strolled away. ~*~
CHAPTER EIGHT
Hah! Not a song to be had. Fine! Fine! Start singing, 'That's What Friends Are For.' Coz they are.
Daniel's Lab: 0945
"I knew it!" Daniel slapped Jack's back so hard he choked on his coffee, spewing some of it into his full bowl of cereal. "I can't tell you how glad I am about this."
"Glad, you're glad, Danny," Jack cleared his throat, glanced at his coffee doused Fruit Loops and pushed the bowl away. He wasn't much of a mocha fruit lover.
"So Hammond and Jacob know?"
"Hope not. Far as I know, only you and Teal'c and well, I suspect Sam had told Janet." Jack glanced off and wondered if the doc was in heaven. If so, he'd be in good company.
"Figures." Daniel sighed with annoyance. "And like did you plan to ever tell me?"
"Sure. Just well, things got rocky between Sam and me after you ascended. Then when you came back and didn't remember more important stuff, well we just didn't think it mattered."
"We? You mean you and Sam talked about whether to tell me?"
"Once. It wasn't something we talked about much . . .at all, the wedding I mean." He hated talking this personal crap even with Daniel. "I mean it's not like it was here on earth. Heck all we did was exchange vows before God, Who you don't buy into anyway." Oops. Jack hadn't meant to make this a religious debate.
Daniel shoved to his feet and stalked forward invading Jack's space. "The point is you did exchange vows. Which are just as binding as the strange way Sha're and I were wed."
"Yeah. Guess so."
"So, you accepted that marriage as valid as did everyone else."
"Sure." Jack scrubbed his face. "Look, Daniel, Sam and I acknowledge the vows are valid, at least to us. But you're well . . ."
"Preoccupied sometimes."
"Sometimes?" Jack snorted and rolled his eyes. Ow! Even eye rolling hurt.
"Okay. A lot."
"Ya think?"
"But you, Sam and Teal'c are all the family I have. So do me a favor and don't kept anything that important from me again?"
"Promise. Space Monkey." Jack smiled and patted Daniel's upper back. "No more secrets."
"Good." Daniel nodded and offered a broad smile. "So is it possible, Kinsey knows?"
"Nah. His head was in the gutter long before that."
"Did I miss something there too? I mean from day one the man has hated your guts."
"Yeah well we have a little history. His daughter Julie hit on me before SG-1 was formed."
"And?" Daniel rubbed his hands together like a little kid.
"She didn't take rejection well, fibbed to daddy that I'd hit on her. Of course, he didn't believe me."
"Of course not, honest Jack." Daniel grinned. "You sure have a knack for attracting the scary dames, huh?"
"Yeah. Like you should talk. Dame Hathor?"
Daniel shuddered. "Yeah, sorry about that."
Jack shrugged. "Another chilling experience." Yeah it had been bad the last time with Hathor, but Sam had been there for him. He could still remember coming out of the cryovac freezer unit, of holding each other tight, while he shivered with a cold he'd never yet been able to throw off. He also remembered how being in her warm loving embrace made the painful experience worthwhile. Made it all right. If he did survive this next freezer burn session, he hoped he'd wake up in Sam's arms. Yeah, that would be worth it.
"Well it makes sense now," Daniel interrupted Jack's trip down memory lane.
"Yeah. Kinsey holds a grudge forever." Jack snorted.
"So what you going to do?"
"Nothing?"
Daniel looked up from his pile of books. "Jack, that's nuts. The slim ball is going to waste you."
"Can't waste a dead man." Propping his boot heels on the desktop, Jack leaned back and folded his hands behind his head, rubbing the tensed cords of his neck with his thumbs. He shut his eyes and sighed.
"Just because we haven't heard from the Asgard or Nox, doesn't mean we won't beat this."
"Daniel." Jack dropped his legs to the floor his boot heels striking the concrete floor. He faced the linguist. "You went Ancient. You know what's going to happen if it's a no show with Thor or the Nox. Now I'm going to tell you something not even Sam knows. But you must promise, you won't tell her while I'm still kicking."
"Stop with this, going to meet my maker operetta!" Daniel said in frustrated anger. His blue eyes misted.
"Wish I could. But whatever's in my head showed me my future and there's no return ticket on this flight."
"You mean?"
"Pretty much, yeah." Jack sobered and pulled out his crossword puzzle for distraction.
"This is like a bad, 'Outer Limits' episode." Daniel took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.
"More like the 'Twilight Zone'." He looked back at Daniel and winced as pain shot through his temples and brow.
"Considering the two of you are married don't you think, well you know?"
"No! I don't! And if you so much as imply you might tell Sam, this conversation ends now."
"Okay, promise." He touched Jack's tensed biceps.
Reaching over Jack grasped the linguist's hand and gave him a tight smile. "Sorry, Space Monkey. This is not how I thought I'd go fishing."
"Hey, me either. So if you still want to tell me, spill."
Jack did.
~*~
Fifteen minutes later:
Jack stood beside Bra'tac and watched Daniel and Sam said goodbye to Teal'c. After Daniel shook his hand, Sam stepped forward and gave the big Jaffa a long sisterly embrace. Jack realized she was saying something to Teal'c, but couldn't catch the words. Teal'c mouth straightened and he nodded, and then hugged her again. Jack was curious what she'd said, but knew better than to ask.
The event horizon flushed and shot out into the room.
Teal'c smiled back at Daniel and Sam and then approached Jack where he stood at the end of the gate's ramp.
"So T, if I don't see you again . . ." Jack met the man's brotherly gaze.
"I will see you soon, O'Neill."
"You know something I don't?" He grinned.
"In fact it is you who knows something I do not." Teal'c smiled.
"I hope you're right."
Teal'c extended his hand to do a Jaffa handshake but Jack pulled him into a brotherly hug. Clutching his friend's shoulder Jack whispered in his ear, "Watch over them, T, especially my wife."
Teal'c stiffened and grasped Jack's hand in affirmation and then glanced at Sam.
Jack let go and stepped back, holding the man's gaze.
The Jaffa addressed his friends, "I wish you all well." He bowed and turning away, walked with Bra'tac through the gate.
Reflective, Jack stood watching the blue swirl of the horizon until the gate shut down. Moments passed before he realized he was alone in the Gate Room, even Sam had left, which left him unsettled. He looked up at the control room. One technician was at the console. He glanced at his watch. Geez, he'd been standing in the exact spot for almost twenty minutes. He hadn't even known it. Shaken, Jack went to his office and shuffled through reports and memos, but didn't remember anything he'd read. He wondered where Sam was, or why she'd left him standing there like an idiot.
Ten minutes later he entered her dark lab. "Carter, you here?" He flicked on the switch but found the room of equipment empty. Not even her pc hummed, so not Carter. Exiting, he spotted an airman. "Have you seen Major Carter?"
"Not this morning, Colonel."
"Carry on." A few minutes later he stood at her private quarters and rapped. No answer. He tried the door. Locked. Jack pulled out his pass and swiped the reader. Slightly unorthodox, but she was his 2IC, his wife.
Inching the door open Jack found the room dark, but heard running water from her half bath and an occasional bang. A light shone beneath the door. Jack entered and approached the bathroom. Another loud bang muffled by the roar of open water taps.
Opening the door, Jack froze. Legs bent, Sam was flat on her back, slamming her boot heels into the inside wall. Tear free, her face contorted with a rage he'd never before seen. Jack dropped to his knees that protested his quick descent. The moment he touched Sam, she jerked away and swung at him with a closed fist that connected with his faster open hand.
"Get out!"
"Sam?" He grabbed on to her, taking her blows, as her fists slammed against his back and shoulders.
"For crying out loud, Major." He tried to calm her, but she stiffened further. Jack would not let go.
"Why?" She sobbed and slumped against him. "Why do you always have to be the freaking all American hero?"
"Ssh," he tried to calm her. Had Daniel caved in? Jack never should have told that emotional babbling brook.
"No!" She pulled back and vented. "I can't do this! I can't sit back and watch you going Ancient and act like it's just a typical day in the neighborhood."
"Hey, hey, all I did was mumble a few weird words during the briefing."
She stared at him. "All? Holy Hannah, Sir! Within seconds after Teal'c and Bra'tac gated, you spent over five minutes blathering Ancient. Daniel even recorded some of it. Then you stood there, staring at the Gate. Daniel asked if you were all right. You looked at him, nodded and stared back at the Gate. When I tried to talk to you, you looked at me like I was a stranger."
"Ah." He tilted his head, understanding. "And then you came here?"
"Yeah!" She jammed her leg out at the wall, but missed her mark.
Jack pulled her into a sitting position and smoothed her rumbled hair. "I'm sorry, Carter. I don't recall a thing. Just realized I was alone and almost twenty minutes had passed." He brushed his lips against her tensed brow and felt her tremble. Pulling back, he cursed himself for getting physical with his 2IC, his wife, alone in her quarters, in her bathroom. 'Oy! So not-fraternizing. Yeah right!'
"This download is different, isn't it?" She leaned back into him.
"Yes." He didn't know what else to say. It sure wouldn't be, 'By the way my beloved, I'm going to become a Jackcicle but you can come lick me anytime.' So not cool. "We'll make it through this. Believe me."
Sam nodded against his shoulder. Jack held her closer and then glanced at the black, scuff marks on the concrete wall. "Feel better, Major?" He grinned down at her, trying to get them both on track and in military mindset.
"Now I do, Sir." She smiled trying to be his brave little officer.
"Good, coz the knees are killing me here." He pulled her up with him, then reached over and turned off the faucet. Not looking back, Jack stepped through the doorway into the darkness of her bedroom. "C'mon, Carter."
"With all due respect, Colonel Sir, I think it best we leave separately."
Jack turned on a heel and nodded. "Good point, Carter."
"Thank you, Sir." She pressed a smile and straightened her BDU's, then glanced back at him.
"Sam?" he hedged.
"I'm fine, Sir, really." She took a step forward and smiled with reassurance.
"Cool. Then we're okay-dokay?" Hands in his pockets, he let out a breath and crunched his face, peering back at her.
"Very." She nodded, flaying her fists to her sides as she took some long breaths. "Now get out. Please? Besides Daniel wants you in his lab."
"Yes, Ma'am. Hey, we still on for lunch?"
"Yeah sure yabetcha," she giggled, "Colonel, Sir."
~*~
In Daniel's lab Jack concentrated on his crossword puzzle. Well tried. He rubbed his aching left eye and refocused. No Ancient's headache would keep him from his goal! Yes! Another right answer, he put his pencil to the paper. On his right, Daniel held up another book. Jack inwardly groaned. Here we go again. His buddy stood and walked over, pointing at something on a page. Jack did what he did best with Daniel. Ignored him.
"Does this mean anything to you?"
"Nope." Jack kept his eyes on the puzzle as he thought of another answer.
"Could you at least look at it?" Daniel was peeved.
Then again, so was Jack. "Daniel," he gazed up, "I don't speak Ancient. Yet! And when I do . . . Eventually . . .you know I'll never understand it." 'So there!'
"You have to try." He glared, not giving up.
Jack snorted. Ironic, Daniel hadn't mentioned Jack's ramblings in the Gate Room. Apparently hadn't been Ancient enough. "Look, last time things just popped into my fron."
"Fron is head!"
"Now, you see, I have no idea what you're talking about."
Openly frustrated Daniel grabbed the crossword puzzle off the desk. "Well, maybe if you stopped working on this stupid-."
"Hey, hey, hey!" He reached to snatch it back. "I'd like to at least finish that while I can." He looked up as Sam walked in. 'For her.'
~*~
Sam sighed her irritation when she came up behind Daniel who was holding Jack's crossword puzzle. "I thought you were supposed to be . . ." She met Jack's cress-fallen expression. Why was she not surprised?
"Thirteen across, you wrote, taonas." Daniel's brows shifted and he looked at Jack.
"Yeah? So? What's it mean?" He looked curious and glanced at Sam.
She shrugged.
"Well I don't know . . . You tell me. Eight down you wrote proklarush."
Sam looked intently over Daniel's shoulder at the puzzle. "What's eight down?"
Jack blew out. Yep, he was exasperated.
Daniel scratched his head. "Um . . .label, there's empty spaces . . . I think the answer's supposed to be identification. Thirteen across is sphere . . . Jack, this is it!"
Jack leaned back in the stool and cradled his head with his hands, rubbing it. "Now, see, I assume we still speak the same language . . . mostly."
"Sphere-planet-label-name." Daniel got excited.
Whoa! This makes complete sense. Sam smiled at Jack. He crunched his face. Okay, maybe not.
"Following-still-you-not!" Jack glowered with frustration.
"Proklarush Taonas. I think you wrote the name of the planet where we'll find the lost city in the crossword."
"Bit of a jump." He rolled his eyes at Sam.
She arched her brows.
"Well, why else would you do that?"
Sam took the puzzle from Daniel and stared at it. "The clue for seven down is celestial body and he wrote Uma Thurman." She looked at Jack, who grinned and announced . . .
"Yes!" He did his 'I score' hand jerk.
"It has to mean something." Daniel clearly didn't understand.
"It does." Jack snatched the puzzle back, straightened it out, sighed loudly and then peered back at the puzzle for a few moments.
Anxious, Sam and Daniel watched him. Sam waited for her husband to say something profound, not like there was anything profound about Uma Thurman, at least to Sam.
"I'm hungry!" He shot upright and walked out without so much as a backward glance. Jack's stomach always took priority.
Sam and Daniel look at each other, sighed, then followed their CO to the commissary. Sam felt herself simmering to a boil. Last night she'd only pondered on what he'd put as an answer. Now she knew. Yeah, there was something profound about Uma Thurman, all right. Jack thought she was hot!
~*~
1240 SGC. COMMISSARY
Jack, Daniel and Sam were eating or at least trying. Sam's appetite died after she eaten half her chicken breast and two mouthfuls of broccoli. She hadn't even touched her blue Jell-O. Well there was a first for everything, she sighed. Daniel had replaced his unfinished chef salad with his notebook. He occasionally tossed out a tidbit of new information regarding Jack's Gate Room blathering.
Jack on the other hand had not only cleaned his plate, he was now eating off Sam's. He waved his fork at her mashed potatoes and gravy. "So you gonna finish those?"
"No, Sir. They're all yours."
"Sweet." He shoved a fork load into his mouth and sighed with delight.
Sam grinned and held his lopsided smirk. His left hand cupped her knee and squeezed. Sam almost leaped out of her chair. Thankfully, no one seemed to notice, not even Daniel.
"Down boy," she whispered, putting her hand over his then setting it on his thigh where their fingers intertwined and Jack held firm.
"For now that's not a problem, Ma'am." He smiled at her.
"Huh?" Daniel asked without looking up.
"Nothing." Jack mumbled while he held Sam's gaze longer than appropriate, then set his sight on her Jell-O and stuck his fork into her desert, scooping the wobbling gelatin into his mouth.
"You don't like blue."
"A fir-st for ev-ry-thing, Car-ter," he said around his mouthful and winked at her.
She winked back. He was trying hard to make her smile, to distract her from the evitable. Her fingers tightened around his as she felt another surge of emotion watching him devour her Jell-O like a little kid.
Yeah. Another first. 'God help me? God him? God help us? Please?'
"Proklarush Taonas. According to this it means, lost in fire. It was lost . . . This has to be the planet where that lost city is." Daniel's insight broke their eye contact and their hands reluctantly untangled. Sam felt the immediate void.
"Well," she sighed, "even if it is, knowing the name of the planet doesn't really help unless we have a gate address to get us there."
Jack looked over at Daniel, reached out and ripped the Velcro SG-1 patch off his sleeve and dropped it onto the table.
Daniel's mouth fell open.
Sam stared. What was he doing?
Jack picked the patch up and turned it round, then dropped it onto the table again. He gazed at Daniel, then across to Sam.
"Jack, what're you doing?" Daniel looked from his ripped sleeve to the patch on the table.
"At." Jack pointed to the patch.
"What?" Sam was confused.
"At." Jack met her baffled gaze.
"This?" Daniel gestured to the patch.
"At," Jack repeated to Daniel.
"That is *at*?" Daniel got annoyed.
"You can stop . . . *that*. And don't ask me what it means -- I don't know." Jack threw up his hands and frowned at Sam.
She shrugged. She had no more an idea what *at* meant than he did.
"I think I do." Daniel opened his notebook and drew one of the Star Gate symbols, Canis Minor, then showed it to Jack. "What's this?"
"Shh."
Sam and Daniel exchanged exasperated glances, than looked at Jack. He looked back and forth between them. "Well?"
"You just told us to be quiet." Sam was baffled by his strange behavior, well even strange for Jack.
"No . . .when I look at this," he pointed to the drawing. "I think, 'Shh."
"That's it!" Daniel's voice arced with excitement.
"What?" Sam started to sound like Jack. Confused!
Daniel flipped back to another page in his notebook. "Proklarush Taonas. Six syllables. What if each symbol on the Stargate has a corresponding sound so that it can be spoken aloud?"
Sam got it. "Like an alphabet."
"Proklarush Taonas isn't just the name of the planet. It's also the gate address."
~*~
They'd done it! In the SGC Control Room Sam and Daniel explained to Elizabeth Weir how he and Jack had worked it out between them which gate symbols the six syllables referred to.
At the computer, Sam was running a trace on Stargate addresses. "Wait a minute." She turned in her chair and faced Daniel and Doctor Weir. "We dialed this same address over two years ago but we couldn't establish a wormhole. The gate must be buried."
"Lost in fire." Daniel frowned and shook his head.
"Well, what we're looking for could still be there. I could use the address to calculate the planet's location in space but we'll need a ship to get there.
"Prometheus." Daniel looked at Weir.
The doctor looked up. "But with Anubis on his way, Prometheus is our last line of defense."
"Maybe Teal'c has something by now," Sam said hopefully.
"Where's Colonel O'Neill?" Weir asked.
Daniel stole a glance at Sam, who nodded for him to explain.
"Packing." Daniel shrugged.
"Oh, yeah." Sam sighed and came to her feet. "That could be an understatement."
Confused, Doctor Weir looked at Sam. "Care to show me?"
"After you first, Ladies." Daniel motioned toward the stairs and catching Sam's pained expression, offered his own as Weir took the lead.
~*~
SGC Storeroom:
Jack was busy retrieving all sorts of odds and ends. Sam felt a shiver shoot down her spin. Holy Hannah! It had begun! He didn't even notice they'd arrived and were following his mad antics. Twice, he stalked by her without blinking. Pain clutched her heart, but she kept her military faade in place. This wasn't Jack.
"Colonel." Elizabeth Weir addressed him on his six.
"Don't ask," Jack stated loudly while he continued his looting.
Holding up the end of the threesome, Sam explained, "The last time this happened he just started doing things without knowing why."
Of course, Daniel found it not only fascinating, but had the audacity to smirk. A lot. "It's a good sign, though . . .hopefully it means we're on the right track."
Yeah right, Sam sighed, to where?
They followed Jack as he headed off to another set of metal shelves to collect a carton Sam couldn't identify.
"Sir?"
"I don't know, Carter!" he barked back.
She flinched.
Jack stomped by again back to his teetering supply pile and tossed the carton on it. "Grab a naqahdah generator, will ya?" He waved a hand of dismissal at her and tramped off to another pair of shelves.
Wide-eyed, Sam looked back at Daniel who glanced at her before he sent a nervous smile to the bewildered Weir. Sam couldn't smile when Jack tossed another object on his collection.
"And so it begins," she muttered loudly, walking by Jack. Weir followed her out, glanced back at Jack and Daniel and frowned.
A box of high voltage cables in his arms, Jack turned and watched Sam's squared shoulder departure.
Daniel came up beside him and stared at the hodgepodge stack. "Anything I can do?"
"Yeah, next time I talk to her like that, kick me in the ass!" He was still staring at the doorway.
"She understands." Daniel put a hand on his arm.
"Yeah. Right!" Jack jerked free and dropped the box on the pile. "I saw her face. This is killing her, Danny." He walked to another shelf and removed a box of wiring. "I don't even know what I'm grabbing, let alone why. I'm going freaking nuts here!"
"Sorry." Daniel stuffed his hands in his pockets and peered over his glasses.
Jack slumped against the stack. "I know." He pressed his fingers to his brow and rubbed hard.
"Sam told me about the headaches. Getting worse?"
"The same, I guess." He drew a long sigh and blew it out. "Daniel?"
"Jack?"
"I'm serious about what I said this morning. This is a direct order! Soon as I turn into a Jacksicle, you and Teal'c get her out there. No matter what she orders you to do, you get her home safe."
"Promise, Jack."
~*~
Good news came soon from Teal'c and Bra'tac. They'd obtained a scout ship from a Jaffa named, Ronan and SG-1 was preparing to gate to Chulak A.S.A.P.
Sam had avoided Jack since the storeroom incident, even postponed changing and collecting her gear when he and Daniel were in the SG-1 locker room. She couldn't risk being alone with him. This was so much worse than the first time, maybe because they had a defined future together now. Future? Why did Sam feel he was keeping something from her? Why did she feel so hopeless about finding a way to save him? Why did loving this man hurt so much? More important, if God existed, why was He doing this to them?
Sam was hustling, stuffing her duffle bag, when she heard the door open behind her. She knew he'd find her out.
"Hey, Carter." Jack walked up behind her.
"Sir." Zipping up her jacket, she swiped away the stray tear and nodded, keeping her back to him. Forcing her military faade into place. If necessary she would become a bitch. She had to.
"You all right?" he asked on her six, his warm breath on her neck. Man, that felt great.
"Certainly, Colonel." She had to call him that at every opportunity or she'd lose it.
"Well good," his voice seemed strained. "Coz, we're ready to gate."
"On my way, Sir." She slammed her locker shut and looked at her duffle, but didn't see it.
Jack cupped her shoulder. She tried to jerk free. "Sam?" his voice was soft as his strong hold tightened, urging her to turn and look at him.
"Please, Sir, just leave. I'll be right there."
Uncomfortable silence followed as he released her shoulder, leaving his hot imprint on her skin. She could imagine Jack scrunching his face, not in the adorable confused way she loved. No, this was the anguished face that shredded her heart. If she looked, she knew she'd throw herself in his arms and totally come apart. She wouldn't do that to him and prayed he understood.
"Fine!" Jack hissed through clenched teeth, snuffed a breath and waited for her response. When she didn't, his exiting boots clacked loudly on the stone floor behind her, followed by the swooshing of the locker room door. Sam dropped onto the bench and sobbed, but the hurt only grew stronger. Fifteen minutes later with the help of makeup and eye drops Sam looked better than she felt.
Jack barely acknowledged her and that made it easier, at least for Sam. She knew she was being selfish. But if she didn't keep up her Air Force officer pretense she'd fail Jack when he needed her most. For the present she was helping Daniel cart the last of the equipment cases into the Gate Room. Ahead of them Jack wheeled another box with a case in his left hand. As they entered, Doctor Weir was walking around looking at the boxes and crates still scattered around and in front of the ramp. Her O' Duh expression was precious.
The doctor looked up at Jack. "Well, have you got everything you need? I think there's still a sink in the kitchen," her tone was welcoming and light, considering.
Sam came along side Jack as he halted in front of Weir. "Is that a joke?" his skeptical tone brought a smile to Sam's face.
"Perhaps." Elizabeth Weir paused, "A bad one," she confessed.
"Yes, very bad . . .but I sense hope for you." He smirked.
"Well, I hope for all of us that you find what you're looking for, Colonel."
"Thank you," he sounded dubious as he headed up the ramp. Sam grinned and shared an understanding look with Daniel before following their leader off to war.
~*~
An hour later onboard Ronan's scout ship traveling in hyperspace, Jack and Daniel sat in the rear of the ship, surrounded by crates and boxes. Daniel wrote in his notebook while Jack was inclined on a built-in seat of sorts, arms crossed, gazing at nothing with his mind in overload. Strangely and to Jack's relief the headache had eased up, but other things were happening. For one, he could hear Daniel thinking. It had been pretty spooky at first, but Jack found he could turn it off like his audio hearing when necessary, especially where Daniel was concerned. Selective hearing and thinking were not so bad.
When he tried to read Sam and Teal'c's minds, Jack drew blanks. Maybe it was a distance thingy or whatever. As for thinking, well Jack could still do that, but it was getting harder to concentrate. Strange symbols and physical objects flashed through his mind, along with Ancient words that made no sense. One of the objects was a raised chair on a platform surrounded first by fire and then by ice. So freaking weird!
The worst part of the prophetic image was Jack had this overwhelming need to pee and couldn't! And then there was Sam. She was up at the helm with Teal'c, Bra'tac and Ronan. She'd been there since they'd boarded. She was avoiding him and he gave her that latitude. What else could he do? Order her to stay glued to his hip? He'd thought about it. Right now, she was being far more professional than he was.
Then again, he was dying, so he didn't give a rat's ass.
However trying not to be egotistical, he knew Sam better than he did himself. She had to keep busy. He missed her. Her firm rejection of the comfort he'd tried to give her in the locker room still gouged his heart. And he thought he was the king of repressed emotions. Right. Odd, now that he was about to die, he felt this overwhelming desire to sing "Kum By Ya, my Lord, Kum, By Ya" with everyone, especially Carter.
He wondered if Weir had picked up on the sparks flying between Jack and his 2IC. Didn't care about that either. Odd how a death sentence altered the perspective of what had been the driving force behind his and Sam not getting together all these years. Regulations! Man made regulations! Stupid regulations! Heart-breaking regulations! And they were still in his face twenty-four seven. Crap!
Jack sensed Daniel again. Oh, for crying out loud! Space Monkey was getting sappier. Daniel looked across to him. "What?"
"I would have done it, you know."
"I know."
"I mean, there has to be a way to reverse the effects, once we have what we need."
Jack tightened his arms to his chest and nodded.
"We'll find a way." Daniel held Jack's unconvinced expression.
Sam strolled in and looked at the men. "We're coaxing everything we can out of the engines, but we're still two days away." She gazed at Jack. "How are you feeling, Sir?"
He shrugged. "Bit cruvus. A little fron-ache." He looked up at her. Sam glanced across at Daniel with open concern. He'd done it again! "We need to go faster." Jack shot up and stalked out. He really was going Ancient!
~*~
Sam looked back at Daniel and sighed.
"Go to him, Sam, he needs you."
"I . . ." she hesitated and clutched her hands. "I don't know what to do. I'm frightened for him and feel so helpless. I need to stay in control, Daniel. I can't do that when we're alone." She felt her chin quiver. Man it hurt so bad.
Daniel came to stand before her and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. "Jack may be putting on the macho O'Neill facade, but he's still Jack, Sam. That man is hopelessly in love with you or he'd never have married you."
"Then he told you?"
"Yeah. About time don't you think?"
She sniffed. "Yeah. I meant to, but for awhile there it just didn't seem important."
"I know. Actually I know a lot more than either of you think."
"Really?"
"Yeah. When I was an Ancient, Oma showed me how you and Jack met during Black Ops and the White House ball. Weirdest thing, she said I wouldn't remember any of it. I did."
Sam's mouth dropped open. "Wow! We've never told anyone but Hammond. But he already knew."
"Know that." Daniel grinned. "See, I can keep secrets too. The point is, Sam, I was shown those events and other things right up until I ascended because . . ." He seemed reluctant.
"Daniel?"
"Because you and Jack have a significant role to play for the future of this world and the galaxy. According to Oma, who acknowledges the Judeo-Christian as the Alpha and Omega, you two are called, 'The Chosen Hearts.'"
"I don't understand." Sam really didn't.
"Let me put it this way. You and Jack have got to get together in every sense of being a husband and wife. I assumed last night."
"Well nothing happened."
"Honorable Jack, huh?"
"Something, like that." Sam blushed. "Sure not for lack of his trying."
"Oh." His cheeks flamed a bit. "Well it happens with guys."
"No! It's not what you think. Jack's going Ancient has well . . ."
"Altered his reproduction abilities?"
"Ah, man!" Sam couldn't look at him.
"The price one pays for having the knowledge of the Ancient. It's only temporary."
"You're sure?"
"Absolutely."
"That's a relief. So you believe Jack and I will . . .?"
"Yes, I do, Sam. Meanwhile, Jack thinks he's going to die. I don't. But when I try to reassure him, he gives me this, 'I know line.'"
"Tell me about it," she sighed and shook her head.
"His obsession with what going Ancient is doing to you is tearing him up. And he's scared to death. Just one person can give him the comfort and reassurance he needs. That's you, Sam. If something needs to be said between you two, do it now. Don't know how soon before he stops talking or understanding us. He's spoken Ancient over a dozen times since we boarded."
Sam's eyes rounded and her fear deepened.
"Yeah, the download has accelerated. He hasn't much time."
Sam kept her emotions in check and touched Daniel's cheek. "Thanks, little brother."
"Hey anytime, Sis." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Now go get him."
She nodded, turned and hurried off to find Jack.
A minute later, Sam entered the engine room to find Jack had already extracted the engine's core and was on his knees making adjustments to the crystals. What kind she had no idea.
He shoved to his feet and looked over at her. "Give me your zat."
She handed it over. He stepped back and fired at the crystals. The engine's sound increased. Jack handed it back to Sam. "There ya go," he sounded so Jack. He was still examining the core.
Standing on the opposite side, Sam feared this moment but knew it had to be said, "Sir, I think you should know that General Hammond authorized me to take command of the team if I determined that you-"
"Do it now."
"Sir, I don't think that's necessary."
"I trust you. I'll make it easy for you. I resign. You're in charge." He tipped his head, smiled then looked back at the engine.
"Okay." Resigned? That means! "Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal'c showed up, what I was going to say was . . ."
"I know," he said softly. The flickering lights made it difficult to read his brown eyes, to know what he was thinking. Still they looked at each other while Jack eased the bank of crystals back into position.
"Sam, we can now say what *okay* has been a substitute for all these years." He smiled down at her. "You're in love with me."
"Yes." She nodded, feeling her chin tremble, thrilled to at last hear those three words, even if they were hers.
"So did I mention that I'm madly in love with you too, Dorothy of Kansas?"
"Just did, Scarecrow." She felt tears warm her eyes.
"C'mere." Jack offered his arms. "And I'll do my best to show you just how much I love you." Sam fell into his embrace and held on for dear life. Jack brushed her hair behind her ears and smiled down at her. When a tear escaped, he kissed it. Sam shuddered and clung tighter, gazing up into his tender adoring face. This was the Jack she knew and loved. She thanked Heaven for these few minutes they had alone. Jack's heart was open to her and she saw tears glistening in his brown eyes. The flickering colored lights of the engines made the moment seemed dreamlike.
"Sam, I love you so much it hurts!" He bent his head and cradling her face, skimmed his lips across hers, whispering, "And so much, that going Ancient makes all of this worth it." With that, he kissed her softly, gently, his lips slightly parting over hers, his tongue hesitatingly teasing her mouth for invitation.
Sam cupped the back of his head and pulled him into him, needing, wanting this intimacy to never end. Her mouth opened and his hungry searching tongue found and danced with hers. Their kiss became hard, fierce, demanding. Jack growled into her mouth and his hands caressed her through her clothing, setting off sensations that took her breath away. If there was some way to consummate their love here and now she would!
As if he read her thoughts and sensations, Jack severed their kiss. 'Whoa!" he breathed heavily against her neck. "Hey, I think you've cured me, Doctor Carter." He chuckled in her ear and nudged her pelvis with his slack manhood.
His attempt to humor her, failed.
"Jack!" She sniffed and tilted her head, tucking her chin as she ran her fingers over his lips, then up and into his ruffled short hair. "I can't do this!"
"You mean *I* can't." he chuckled.
"That's not what I mean!"
"Oh." He tipped his head back and nodded, clearly understanding her frustration.
Sam watched as his entire persona altered before her. His smile washed into a thin firm line. If she hadn't known better, she'd have thought he'd been taken over by a Goa'uld. Jack gripped her shoulders hard and stepped back. His gaze narrowed, the crease between his coppery brown eyes deepened and stretched into his forehead. Her brash CO was back. So was his bark.
"Cut this emotional wimp crap, Carter! You will do whatever you have too in the line of duty! You will carry on! You will do this for God, earth and for us!"
"I'm trying, Sir." She straightened at his snarl, but didn't feel or sound confident. Jack's fingers dug deeper into her shoulders and he shook her. "For crying out loud, Carter! Look at me!"
She did.
The single minded obstinate Colonel O'Neill glared down at her. Not a sign of her Jack in sight. Sam swallowed with the same respectful fear she'd had when she first came under his command.
"You will do more than try. You will perform. Stay focused, Major. You're in command of SG-1 and this mission to find the Lost City. I trust you more than anyone in this screwed-up universe. But from here on, I'm just along for the joyride. So don't get me pissed off, Carter, or let me down!"
"Let you down, Colonel? Never, Sir!"
"Excellent. Now let's go kick some Anubis ass!"
"Yes, Sir!" Sam saluted with confidence and pride.
Jack saluted back. "But first," he drew her into his arms and with his boyish O'Neill grin, "One more reminder of why we're doing this, Mrs. Samantha O'Neill."
"Oh!" she was so confused, "Shouldn't we get back to the others?" She was still Major Carter at least in her head.
"Nah, we've got about ten minutes to kill before we exit hyperspace." He kissed her neck, sending a shiver right to the core of her womanhood. "I only require five of them."
"Well then, I guess we can compromise." She tipped her head and sighed into her Jack's passionate kiss.
Ten minutes to the second, the ship exited hyperspace and dropped into orbit around a planet. Sam smiled to herself. Jack had used all ten minute. After regaining their composure, they held hands until in view of the helm where they joined the others. Bra'tac and Ronan were piloting. Teal'c and Daniel stood against the bulkhead.
~*~
Jack held back when Sam stepped forward and leaned over the COM to gaze out the window. Daniel joined her.
Jack looked out the helm transom and gulped. Geez, what lay beneath was one freaking fireball, just like his vision.
Sam didn't show her shock or dismay, but addressed it. "Well, this doesn't look good. The surface is almost completely covered by lava flows."
"Not exactly tree friendly," Jack quipped.
Teal'c nodded.
Daniel frowned. "How could there have ever been a civilization down there?"
Jack's brilliant astrophysicist explained, "A star becomes a red giant like this near the end of its life. A million years ago this planet may have looked very much like Earth."
"So we're a million years late?" Daniel gaped at her.
"Probably more," she sighed, glancing at him.
"That's very late," mumbled the linguist.
As if on cue she and Daniel turned and look at Jack.
"What?"
Sam turned away again and looked at Daniel.
"Well let's have a closer look," Sam ordered then glanced back at Jack.
He winked. His 2IC was right on. Soon as she turned away, Teal'c stepped beside him.
"Are you all right, O'Neill?"
"All things considered, just peachy." Jack meant it and smiled at his good friend. He and Teal'c had had little time together since this mess began, so it was nice to talk again.
"Major Carter appears to be in superior inner health as well. Therefore, I assume matters are *okay* between both of you?"
Reading the Jaffa's double meaning, Jack smirked. "Oh, yeah, Dorothy's back on the yellow brick road of command in every possible way."
"Indeed." Teal'c arched a brow and smiled. "I am pleased with this development, O'Neill."
"Me too. Ah, by the way, T," Jack nudged him with his elbow. "From here on out, she's the head honcho, boss, leader, chief, CO. You and Daniel report to Carter."
Overhearing, Daniel came along side them as Teal'c continued, "I am aware there would be a change of command, only when you were no longer capable of leading us, O'Neill."
"Just giving her a head start," Jack said softly. "Plus early retirement does have its perks."
Daniel grinned and cleaned his glasses with his black T-shirt. "Bet they do."
"Very wise, O'Neill."
"Hey, got my moments."
"More than you think, Jack. Sam's back in high form." Daniel grinned.
"Yeah, she sure the hell is." He beamed with pride and rocked on his heels.
"So what'd you do?"
"Nothing much. First I kissed my wife silly, then I verbally reamed out my 2IC."
"And she actually fell for it?" Daniel looked unconvinced.
"Nope. But she's one great actress."
Daniel and Teal'c laughed.
Sam glanced back, looking from one man to the other and then back at Jack. She was not smiling. Whoops!
'No, Dorothy, I didn't kiss and tell, well not everything.' He gave her a sheepish smile.
Sam jolted. Her chin lifted in shock. Jack winked. Whoa, he'd just telepathically communicated with her. This going Ancient wasn't so bad after all.
Having missed their exchange, Daniel glanced at Sam. "Hey, you all right?" He came along alongside her.
"Just peachy." She swallowed and scowled at Jack. He donned his 'who me' look which curved her pretty mouth up into a smile before she turned back to the schismatic screen.
"I have scanned the entire surface," Bra'tac announced none too happily.
Sam and Daniel turned as one and looked at Jack as if he was the all-knowing Oz.
His hand jammed in his pockets, he shrugged. "What do you want me to say?" He arched his brows in irritation. "I don't even know why we're here." 'He didn't, did he?'
"But you did pack the Hazmat suits for us," Sam reminded him.
Jack sighed out and held her stubborn blue gaze.
"My guess is you knew the condition of the planet and you knew that we would have to go down there."
"Then you know more than I do," he griped.
"No, Sir, I don't!" she was just as bothered. "Sit down and take a look," she urged.
He challenged her with a glint.
"That's an order!" she said with an edge followed by her cute turtle gulp as she glanced at him.
Jack's brows lifted higher. What she'd expect him to know or find down there?
Teal'c looked at Sam then back at Jack, with a slight smile to this change of command that was at a present standoff.
Daniel stared.
When Bra'tac vacated his seat Jack ambled forward to take the helm. But as he passed Sam they exchanged looks. "Easy," he warned, and sat down.
Sam leaned over his seat as he pulled up a schematic of the planet's surface and looked at it.
"Taonas."
"Sir?"
"What?"
"You looked at the screen and said, 'Taonas'."
"If you say so." Jack was so freaking confused.
"You say so," Daniel tried for funny, but failed.
Sam spotted something on the screen and pointed over Jack's shoulder. "There's a small anomaly on the surface here. Like a bubble."
"Is it a cavern?" Bra'tac asked.
"It looks like a perfectly-formed half-sphere of molten rock." Sam shook her head.
"Perhaps a force field meant to protect the city was covered over," Ronan suggested.
Sam was at Jack's side. "Too small to have a whole city in there -- and we aren't getting any energy readings from it."
Clueless, Jack waited for someone else to speak. Teal'c came to his rescue. "Perhaps the shield has since failed."
"We should still check it out," Sam suggested.
Geez, Jack groaned, he didn't need telepathy to know she'd say that.
"But there aren't any trees, Carter." He winced and looked back at his wife.
"Nope, Sir, not a one." ~*~
CHAPTER NINE
'Immortality' Celine Dione
'With all my love for you, And what else we may do We don't say, goodbye'
~*~
Present day: Jack's frozen state of mind.
Geez, there were no trees! Not on Proklarus! Not in Antarctica! Way to go, O'Neill. Peachy!
Got your brain drained by that Ancient wall blender again . . . Yeah, yeah, you saved the freaking world again. . . Never made love to the woman you love again . . . And your need to pee premonition came true . . . You became a Jacksicle.
Crap!
~*~
Present day: Sam's mind.
You found it the day after he saved Earth, the day after Daniel and Teal'c had to physically restrain you. When you were forced to leave him in Antarctica, in that Ancient's stasis's unit with a single tear frozen to his cheek, his coppery brown eyes wide and vacant, staring at you. You found it the day after you put your hand to the icy shield that separated you from the man you loved, you found it folded underneath your base quarter's pillow, waiting for you.
You found it written on your favorite lavender scented stationary. You don't have to wonder when he got your personal stationary out of your bedroom drawer. You grin.
These are Jack's words. Words you know would never pass his lips and if they did, they would come out in painful grunts and anguished long breaths, jumbled, disjointed, and with his O'Neill sign language of hands gestures directing their irrational flow, willing them out of his kissable mouth. But now on paper, they flow, they sing, they touch you where no man has ever been able to, your heart.
Words that are . . . Scribbled. Scratched out. Erased. Rewritten.
And then like a crossword puzzle, you slowly decipher them and your heart hears what it has always known . . .Jack O'Neill is a diehard romantic.
"Hail Dorothy, We were fashioned by His hand before the womb Two hearts chosen to become one. You, a part of me, always . . .
You, a brilliant candle flickering in the bleak darkness of this abyss, A safe harbor from all that will never be right in this anal-reticent, flyboy Did I mention anal, Sam?
I'm just saying . . . Still, I am okay with my latest, dumbest, brainstem disorder of, "Gotta save the world, Jack!" Really. Coz, if you're alive, Sam, it was worth it! Sweet!
And though I'm either ashes or packed on ice when you read this, I see your face and your smile, hear your infectious giggle, Feel your warm embrace, your kisses . . .Oy! Do I feel your kisses.
Clumsy, calloused hands cradle your delicate chiseled beauty And sift through golden silky wisps of your hair, Lazy brown eyes collide with blue sapphires Warm lips brush and then part and I taste love as it was meant to be . . . Us.
You're my Godsend, Samantha. My wife. Yeah, forever, I'll keep you here inside me . . .Forever Okay. Coz, though a candle burns in my house No one's home without you, Sam-
No one.
Your Scarecrow, Jack
PS: Keep the candle burning. PPS: Do not burn down my house or I will haunt you. PPPS: Oy! That could have its bennies! PPPPS: Home Owner Insurance paid a year in advance. PPPPPS: Don't raid my piggybank! PPPPPPS: Make sure Daniel eats and sleeps. PPPPPPPS: Teach T chess. PPPPPPPPS: Hug Cassie for me a lot! PPPPPPPPPS: Tell Dad he was right. He'll know what I mean. PPPPPPPPPPS: Rub George's head daily for luck. He'll let you. He promised. PPPPPPPPPPPS: Don't let Jonathon eat the Salsa! PPPPPPPPPPPPS: Generous DNA donation Per: Samantha Carter clone. Jonathon's grateful. So am I. PPPPPPPPPPPPPS: See ya in Heaven, Sam. I'll be waiting with Janet at the gate, and I'll bring cake!"
~*~
Flashback:
"For crying out loud, Carter, it's 0135. Call it a day will ya -?" his voice drawls into a yawn as he drops his weary head back onto his forearms. Next to him on your lab table, sets a stack of opened reports, a teeth-gnawed pen and an empty coffee cup.
"A few more minutes, Sir." You glance up from your pc at your CO, and then return to the task at hand. He's here as usual. You no longer nag him to go home or retire to his base quarters. He'd just give you that incredulous O'Neill scowl anyway. Besides you like when's he's here close enough to see, hear and smell, even to touch, if only you had the courage. You can't but love him. And of course, he knows those words will not pass your lips. It's a silent mutual understanding, a place, and a moment you've both come to covet these last two weeks. Time together, often spent in silence but uniquely your own, even with Big Brother's security camera overhead.
The comfort, respect, security, and passion you share with Jack O'Neill are more than you'd ever imagined possible with a man. A man who's yet to publicly announce his undying love, let alone make love to you. Yeah, this is the man you love and you can't help but revisit the reasons why.
Comfort: Like now, no words needed to enjoy each other's company and with Jack O'Neill that's a prerequisite. Not that he doesn't talk, it's just he's selective about the topic. Your last Simpsons debate comes to mind, and as always you lost. Even Mat Gronige would be proud of Jack's knowledge of his little yellow creation. And when you're working on a project he's respective of your need to concentrate. He also knows if he's not, you'll boot him out. Most of all he's gives the best hugs and his shoulder belongs exclusively to you.
Security: Whoa, this man makes you feel safe in every sense, especially emotionally and physically. First off, he's a one-woman man. And guess what, you're that woman! Your other security is that physically you can handle yourself and he respects your competence, even depends on it. But he's the first one to intervene when you can no longer defend yourself. And when it comes to who watches your six, O'Neill's the only one you can honestly trust. No doubt your mutual devotion plays into that safety factor as he's repeatedly saying, "Hey, Carter, you're the only person I want on my six." Yeah, Daniel and Teal'c take second and third place.
Respect: You respect his honor and instincts. He respects your virtue and brains. But the last time you asked him, he was self-defacing as ever. "I respect you most, Sam, coz you accept me for who I am. A battered brown paper bag with a lot of nothing inside." Man if he'd just realize that, brown paper bag has everything you want, need and desire. He is not a nothing. He's everything.
Passion: Major issue. Sometimes you disagree, even argue. Oh man, can you two argue. "Like an old married couple," as Daniel once put it. While Teal'c's version is, "You and O'Neill are strongly competitive therefore compatible." And though you won't admit it, you suspect you both take some perverse pleasure in bickering, especially when you believe the other one is wrong. So take one stubborn Irishman and Englishwoman and you've got passion with a big P. Or Jack's verbal version, "Carter, you're a royal pain in the asset!" Yep, and you're quite proud that you are the pain in his asset.
In the long run though, yours is a unique relationship built on friendship, trust, respect, mutual lust and three words yet to be announced in public, 'I love you.' So for now you settle for words that mean the same. *Forever okay* or *I know*.
It's strange but lately, when you've both had the opportunity to be truthful you hesitate and clam up, especially Jack. It's as if, to say, 'I love you,' will jinx what you both have painstakingly regained these last few weeks, or you'll be forced to make the ever, serious choice, between your careers of saving the world, and each other. So you settle for this present but comfortable alliance.
Ever since your hallucinations on the Prometheus, you've acquired a keen sixth sense regarding your relationship with this amazing man. Like how messed up your head was when you thought about what Jack had said. And even though you still don't know he'd really say in that imagined conversation, you know he never stopped loving you. Perhaps, one day the two of you will revisit that hallucination to learn the truth, but not today.
For now a more pressing issue gnaws in your head and heart. The foresight of an inevitable day when you'll each face a galactic obstacle neither of you can defeat. When one of you stands before the other's front door at that crucial moment and the other person opens it. Strange, but you know it will be Jack's open doorway you will anxiously step through. There will be nothing comfortable about that encounter. In fact, unlike now, it will be downright repressed. Far worse than when he learned you were dating Pete. And like then, Jack will shutdown, not intentionally, but because there won't be a dang thing he can do to fix the crisis. Not even blow it up.
You're pretty sure whatever the cause, it will be connected to the recent threat of Anubis' invading Earth. But now, alone with him, you don't want to dwell on premonitions. Besides it's just a dream, right? Yeah. And the A.M. briefing will address the reality of Anubis soon enough. Like Jack always says, "Carter, you think too much." So stop it! And then an unexpected personal bitterness twists you heart and for the life of you, you don't know why. You only know that whatever is going to happen to you and Jack is going to be freaking unfair.
As if conscious of your musing, the colonel props his chin on his forearms. You don't have to look up to feel his chocolate contemplative gaze while your fingers fly over the keyboard. He shoves upright, stretches his long arms over his silver head and then scrubs his hands up his face and into his short messed hair. All done with his patented O'Neill grumble that more often than not, you have inspired.
"I swear you do this on purpose, Carter."
"What?" You sip the last drops of the coffee he brought you an hour before. It's cold. And he vowed he'd not bring you another. It was his way of saying, lets go home, Carter, please.
"Oy! Day ju view."
You stifle a smirk and don't correct him. Besides you think it's cute. Always have. And no doubt always will.
"Third night this week, that's what." He tugs off his long-sleeved, green BDU shirt and tosses it over the stool's high back.
He's hot. And looking at his body, you know that you will soon be. Oh, what a body he has. You cough to conceal your discomfort, which beats strongly in your chest.
Yep, he's hot. You're cold. Something's never change.
You become hypnotized and continue to stare at the view he unwittingly allows you with that casual gesture. Your gaze devours his lean athletic physique outlined beneath his snug black T-shirt and the flex of his tanned biceps before he glances back. You shield your gaze but not before he dons his boyish, caught ya, smirk. Darn the man, he always knows just when to look. And to add fuel to the mutual attraction factor, his raspy CO tenor kicks in and sends a shiver straight to your groin.
"Carter."
"Really, it won't take long."
"Okay, then." He snuffs in a breath.
Forcing your attention back to the screen, you moan because the kink in your neck won't go away. He stands, stretches and saunters up behind you, resting his long tanned fingers on your shoulders. He begins to rub, firmly, methodically and works his magic up and down the knotted cords of your neck and shoulders. A pleasure he gives you more often than he should, but one that innocently allows you to enjoy each other's touch. He's careful not to lean into you. The security camera sees all. Hears all.
Even if this indiscretion of a CO giving his 2IC a shoulder rub were to be reported, Daniel and Teal'c would swear he has done the same for them. In their dreams! Colonel Jack O'Neill has never given another man a backrub in his life, at least that he'll admit too. Still the fact this is the third one you've got this week, makes you tense up.
"Relax," he orders.
"Trying." Has he any idea how his talented fingers unravel you? Yeah sure yabetcha. That's why his next question is a deliberate diversion.
"Got a fixation for incorrigible, cantankerous COs, Samantha?"
Man is that the understatement of the century, but who cares, he's your cantankerous CO. And he called you, Samantha!
"Coz, that's what you'll have, come the 0900 briefing from hell?" His hot breath teases your cheek as his calloused palms gently stroke to the sides of your jaw and back down your neck. Out of the camera's view, his left hand toys with a curl and then your earlobe. Holy Hannah! You shudder. He feels it and chuckles. Still you manage to keep your clouded gaze on the monitor. Yeah, he's playing with fire and yours is not the only one about to burst out of control. With a gentle squeeze to your shoulders he returns to his stool as if nothing happened. Man, timings everything and he's got it down to a science. Literally.
Worse, he's donned that smug, gotcha look and awaits your reaction. Well, he's so not getting what he wants. You rake your scrambled-egg brain. Oh yeah, he'd asked a question and now that the kink has been replaced by something better you reply, "I'm trying to recalibrate and boost the power of the matrix crystal for the- "
"Na ah! No techno-babble after midnight." He whirls a finger as confusion glazes his tired eyes.
"Ten minutes tops. And, I won't complain when you are an incorrigible cantankerous ass tomorrow, Sir."
"Cake or Blue Jell-O." His eyebrows shift, lips curl and his left dimple tucks deep into the day's stubble of his lean jaw. The game is afoot. Another-O'Neill Carter bet in the making.
"Neither. A crossword puzzle."
"What?" Those coppery brown orbs narrow with suspicion.
"If I win, you have to complete a newspaper crossword puzzle without Daniel's help. That bet will be double or nothing." You offer him the puzzle from this morning's edition failing to mention it's a hobby of yours. But then he already knows that.
"A bit presumptuous . . . premeditated, considering you haven't won the first wager." He snatches it from your hand, opens it, and glances at the clues. You can actually visualize the gears turning inside his silver crowned head.
"Yep." You grin and hope he takes the bait.
"You're on."
Yikes. Way too easy. Your eyebrows lift. Your lips twitch. You're suspicious. He knows it.
"Simultaneous bets and up the ante." He waves the crumpled paper. "Double chocolate layered cake with white frosting and a hundred bucks."
Hey, where are those five syllable words coming from? Incorrigible? Cantankerous? Presumptuous? Premeditated? Simultaneous? He'd never use those in the same mouthful, let alone the same day.
"Right answers too, Sir."
"Gotcha." He sniffs and winks. "So any set deadline on this thingy?" He snaps a finger against the piece of paper.
Thingy. Ah, better.
"It's not about speed, Sir. Take all the time you need."
"Be done by the briefing, Dorothy," his sexy lisp makes you quiver.
You snort. "Doubt that, Sir. And please don't be late. Daniel's got some amazing news on his translations for the Ancient writing in the colonnade SG-2 discovered on P3X-439 today. No doubt he'll give you a wakeup call."
He passes on Daniel's findings. "It will never happen, Carter. Me late? Ha!"
You roll your eyes. Normally yes, he's punctual, briefings hardly ever. "Man oh man, two hundred bucks and chocolate cake. Wanna just pay up now, Sir?"
"Think I'm a safe bet huh, Carter?"
You catch his suggestive glimmer and hold it until blood stains your cheeks again. He's so not talking about crossword puzzles and you both know it.
"Yep." He's the safest chance you've ever taken in your life. And it took that stupid affair with an even stupider Pete to realize you almost tossed away your safe bet. It took an elevator ride and your Colonel humming, "Singing in the Rain," and dancing down the SGC corridors like a lovesick fool, for you to realize, Jack O'Neill is more than a safe bet. He's not just here with you now he never left. He is your one choice of true happiness.
"Well then, there you are."
"Yes, Sir."
"Excellent." For an intense moment, he holds you with those dark eyes and then grins as he picks up his Game Boy and yoyo considering one over the other for the allotted ten minutes. He goes for the puzzle.
Whoops!
So come 0700 when he usually arrives, he will be bone-weary and cantankerous or worse, too cheerful. Either way, he'll push all your right buttons and you will mentally Zat him before the days done. Still, you won't lose this bet anymore than you've lost the others over the last seven plus years, because he won't let you. As competitive as you both are, and as smart as Jack O'Neill really is, he's a gentleman. Another reason, you adore him. Besides, that's how you play this dysfunctional, within the regs courtship. It's all you have and you each settle for now. You return to keying calculations but not before the reality of what he just agreed to registers on his fatigued features. Man, if you had a camera.
Another Hallmark Kodak moment!
"Does it have to be this crossword puzzle?" He's been scanning the clues and scrunches his face with puzzlement.
"Yep."
"You're evil, Carter."
"So you always tell me, Sir."
Your CO's mocha eyes hold you smugly in their clutches.
Double whoops!
He plans to win.
You plan to let him.
This once.
~*~
0145
Your head smacks the keyboard and you jolt upright on your stool, rubbing the kink in your neck, stretch and yawn. You gaze at his empty stool. Your heart thuds painfully against your ribcage. Standing, you turn off the pc and head for the open door, but linger by his high back stool. You lift his green BDU shirt and drape it over your shoulders, taking comfort in his Old English Leather cologne that still clings to the collar. Your fingers graze the worn keypads of his Game Boy and then, the faded red paint of the hand carved wooden yoyo you gave him for his birthday. As you pick up the third object you tremble.
Tattered, coffee-stained, pencil marked with his memorable scrawl, and creased from dozens of folds, the evidence of your last bet; a crossword puzzle mocks you. You've read it hundreds of times the past few months and do so again, because all the answers are correct especially, four up, nine down, six across.
Six letter word for life mate. 'Carter.'
Tears squirm their way pass your eyelids onto the sleeve of his shirt that you press to your hot cheek. Amazing, you can still see, feel and smell his essence. It's been over three months since he sat here keeping vigil. Actually, ninety-nine days one hour and forty-five minutes before he went Ancient and stepped into that stasis chamber in Antarctica. A week later, he was beamed up by the Asgard and yet no word from Thor.
And so like the rest of SG-1 and the SGC you wait and pray that he not only survived the thaw but also will return as the same man you knew and loved. Yeah, you want the same Colonel O'Neill who can trigger all key emotions in you in less than a few minutes. Who the morning after making that bet was late for the emergency briefing of a lifetime, because he was in his truck trying to finish this puzzle, for you. Man oh man were you mad! And didn't he take delight in it until you informed him one of his answers was wrong.
You want the same man who was courageous enough to stick his head in what he called, "that Ancient wall blender," and downloaded the library of Ancients before you or Daniel could. Who did it to save earth and knew he'd probably die in the process. Whose porch steps you stood on the next morning and whose open nervousness at finding you there, made you more nervous. It felt like a first date. Heck, you've yet to even have that first date with him.
You want the Jack who when you suggested you leave, he insisted you stay. Who clammed up but took comfort in you're sitting beside him. Who said more with his brown-eyed gaze than three little words ever could say. When you tried to tell him you were still in love with him and were interrupted by Daniel and Teal'c, this man looked at you with desperate frustration. A look that confirmed your private moment together had ended too soon. That's the man you want back. Now! You want your husband!
Reminiscing, your thoughts spiral back to the last private words you'd shared in the engine room of the Jaffa scout ship and despite your misery a smile tugs at your lips.
~*~
Those last ten minutes had become the most precious minutes of all. You'd both said you love each other. Yeah, he knew and that's all that mattered. And then he kissed you one last time. A passionate intimate kiss you keep close to your heart, a kiss no one will ever know about, except you and him. Twenty seconds later, clutching his open jacket and with your face pressed against his fast thudding heart he toyed with your curls, he still held you, comforted you.
"Hey, Dorothy, even if I do have to leave, I'll be back," he'd whispered into the curve of your neck, holding you possessively in his strong arms.
"You sound sure."
"Coz, I am. Had my doubts for a while then I remember it's a matter of faith. Besides," He pulled back and winked, "You owe me cake and two hundred bucks plus interest."
"Which is?"
"Ninety days same as cash and a penny a day there after."
"Might have to break into your piggybank, Sir." You giggled at the childish notion, wondering if he had one.
"Counting on it." He pressed the keys to his house and his truck into your hand and winked. Then digs his favorite hat out of his pocket and hands it over. "Keep this safe. I don't want to break another one in if I come back."
Accepting his precious cap, you roll your eyes. "I'll guard it with my life."
"Sweet. And, uh Sam?"
"Jack?"
"No matter who wins . . ."
You glance up at him hoping, praying he says-
"We're going fishing."
"Excellent!" You nod and grin and his embrace tightens around you.
"One more thing, Sam."
"Name it?"
"Pray for me and keep that candle burning."
~*~
Jack's got a piggybank.
Smiling, you swipe away the tears and slip two crisp hundred-dollar bills between the folds of the crossword puzzle and replace it beside his other toys. That familiar tightness hitches in your throat and dives fast and deep into your belly, alerting you he's here.
You turn and look up and for a split second you don't believe it.
Wearing his leather jacket, white t-shirt and blue jeans Jack's long legged torso occupies the shadowed doorway. With his fists crammed into his pockets thumbs out, he flashes his intimate smirk that makes your heart trip and your limbs quiver like Jell-O. "So miss me, Carter?"
"Of course, Sir." Holy Hannah, he's back! Fingers trembling, you remove nine pennies from your pocket, drop them on his puzzle, one at a time and then look back at him. "Interest aside, Sir, you owe me three months of back rubs."
"Excuse me?" Jack apparition transforms into an SF airman on night patrol. "You okay, Major Carter?"
Blinking, your voice snags in your throat and you force a smile for the concerned guard. "Umm, fine, Airman. Goodnight."
"Good morning, Major." The SF salutes and turns away. Shaking your head at your foolish imagination, you replace your CO's shirt over the stool, smoothing the sleeves until your heart stops its irregular heartbeat. Before you close the door you glance back and nod. "The interest is accumulating, Sir."
"Yeah sure yabetcha," he replies in your head and weird as it sounds, you believe he heard and answered you. Coz, the two way conversation has been going on since he went Ancient.
~*~
You clamber into his truck and leave the mountain. Twenty minutes later, you slip on one of his T-shirts and slide into his king size bed curling up with his pillow, taking comfort in everything O'Neill. You slip off your dog tags and set them beside his on the nightstand. You smile. Over on his dresser sets his blue piggybank full of pennies. You grin at the cracked ceramic caricature and suspect it was Jack's and then Charlie's. Sighing, your gaze returns to the nightstand and a framed picture of you and Jack with Cassie in the middle, holding the puppy he gave her at the park six years ago.
What takes your breath away is that neither of you are looking at Cassie or her puppy. You're smiling at each other and his arm is around your waist. You recall how he'd drawn you as close as possible without crushing Cassie. And now the intimate intensity of Jack's smile draws that picture to your chest. Yeah, even a blind man could see what took you so long to accept without doubt. Jack O'Neill is more than a safe bet. He's undeniably in love with you as you are with him. A love that has spanned more than a decade and God willing, will endure far longer.
Yawning, you take a moment and do what Jack asked, pray. Surprised? Yeah, Mom would be proud. Dad will be. And yes, it's not the most comfortable decision you've made and your analytical mind still questions. But Jack once said, "He expects us to question, Sam, but at some point faith has to take over." So, it gets easier every day, at least the praying part.
Strange, how your childhood innocence and acceptance of believing in one sovereign Creator has been renewed through Jack's subtle influence. Now just like the last ninety-nine days, you ask Him to return the man you love to you. You believe. Despite missing Jack, you will sleep as soundly as you have nearly every night since using his house key.
Tomorrow you will approach Doctor Weir with your latest plan to contact the Asgard. You pray she will not only give you the go-ahead, but that your wild card idea to push the Scout Ship's engines hard enough to reach the Asgard will succeed.
You slip your hand beneath his pillow and your fingers curl possessively around his cap. Closing your eyes, you mutter between yawns, "And just for the record, Sir, even after you return, I intend to keep raiding your piggybank."
"Sweet."
Reaching over you hit the replay button of a song he left you with his letter. As Celine sings you drift off to sleep in your husband's arms.
'So this is who I am, And this is all I know. And I must choose to live, For all that I can give, The spark that makes the power grow
And I will stand for my dream if I can, Symbol of my faith in who I am But you are my only, And I must follow on the road that lies ahead, And I won't let my heart control my head, But you are my only And we don't say goodbye, We don't say goodbye, And I know what I've got to be
Immortality I make my journey through eternity I keep the memory of you and me inside
Fulfill your destiny, Is there within the child, My storm will never end, My fate is on the wind, The king of hearts, the joker's wild, But we don't say goodbye, We don't say goodbye, I'll make them all remember me
'Cos I have found a dream that must come true, Every ounce of me must see it through, But you are my only I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play, Hand over my heart I'll find my way, I will make them give to me
Immortality There's a vision and a fire in me I keep the memory of you and me inside And we don't say goodbye We don't say goodbye, With all my love for you, And what else we may do We don't say, goodbye'
~*~
EPILOGUE
In the foyer window a candle flickers twenty four-seven. Jack once said, "Though a candle burns in my house, nobody's home."
Now there is.
~~~Fin~~~
Branded Hearts to follow Going Ancient
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