Christmas Is All In The Heart
Christmas Is All In The Heart
by HailDorothy
Summary: Sam's stuck babysitting the SGC on Christmas Eve, and ponders where it went wrong between her and Jack.
Category: Challenge, Filk/Song, Holiday, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, POV, Romance
Episode Related: 101 Children of the Gods, 405 Divide and Conquer, 410 Beneath the Surface, 713 Grace, 715 Chimera, 716 Death Knell, 817 Threads, Future Story
Holiday: Christmas
Season: Season 8
Pairing: Jack/Sam, Sam/Pete, none
Rating: GEN
Warnings: adult themes, language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2004-12-23
Title: Christmas Is All In The Heart Author: HailDorothy Email: gwichman1@new.rr.com Category: angst/friendship/humor/romance Warning: None Rating: PG Season: End of S8 Spoilers: minor Sam & Pete Pairing: J/S Duh! File size: 71 KB Author Note: Original 2004 S/J Christmas challenge: Stuck on base and a kiss.
Summary: Sam's stuck babysitting the SGC on Christmas Eve, and ponders where it went wrong between her and Jack.
Beta thanks to my dearest, sweetest friend, Carol Sue, who loves Jack more than chocolate! Well almost.
Songs: Christmas Is All In The Heart (c) Steven Curtis Chapman, Passionate Kisses (c) Mary Chapman Carpenter.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters and situations of this story are the property of said author. HailDorothy (c) 12/22/04
Feedback: Gosh, darn, don't make me beg! Pretty Please??? Starvation of this writer's muse is no pleasant sight. All feedback is food for thought and well digested. "Feed me, Seymour!" (The Little Shop of Horrors)
~*~
'Christmas Is All In The Heart'
'In a one bedroom apartment on the humble part of town There stands a little Christmas tree, looks a lot like Charlie Brown's And underneath there's one little gift for him and one little gift for her After six months on the new job, they're still barely getting by So in the way of decorations, there's nothing there to catch your eye But both of them would be the first to say We're together, we're gonna have the merriest Christmas anyway
Cause Christmas is all in the heart, that's where the feeling starts And like a fire inside, it touches every part 'Cause Christmas is all in the heart And even if no white snow falls, that's all right because The joy can still be found, wherever you are 'Cause Christmas is all, all in the heart
Two little blonde haired boys with big dreams, tried to sleep but sleep wouldn't come We'd be tearing into presents, long before the break of dawn With Mom and Dad and cameras making sure we'd never forget that day Now I'm the one who's taking pictures, in the middle of the night Of my own blonde headed dreamers that just can't wait until daylight
And in my sleepy eyes that spark still glows Well I guess there's just some things a kid never outgrows
No, it's not in the snow that may or may not fall And it's not in the gifts around the tree It's in the love heaven gave, the night our Savior came And that same love can still be found wherever you are 'Cause Christmas is all in the heart And the joy can still be found, wherever you are 'Cause Christmas is all, all in the heart It's all in the heart'
~*~
Snap! Crackle! Pop!
Static!
Darn!
Colonel Samantha Carter sat in General O'Neill's office fidgeting with the radio dial. The greatest technology in the universe at her fingertips and the lousiest FM radio transmitter coz she was buried in a freaking mountain. Halfway through, the song crackled and then died, like her prayers for spending Christmas with the man she loved.
The static cleared and the familiar lyrics warmed her heart. Sam enjoyed that song. So did the General. Strange how much her CO's personal tastes had influenced her over the years and became her own. Take Opera for instance. Or not. She was still working on that acquired music preference. But this song, if she could just get that radio station back. She never should have touched the General's setting but then she'd not been looking for Christmas music, let along the spiritual kind. Worse, she'd never thought she'd be here . . .alone without him.
Logically, Sam realized that had Colonel Reynolds' General O'Neill's 2IC not gotten the flu she wouldn't be stuck here. But since Dixon outranked her and had plans to spend Christmas with his family, it left number four on the totem pole to baby sit the SGC, Sam. Never in her worst nightmares had she imagined this scenario. The General hadn't even apologized for leaving her stranded over the holidays.
"Hey, deal with it, Carter. After all, it's what we do," he'd said flippantly after delivering the order two hours ago and then strolling off, whistling some stupid Christmas carol. He'd not even asked if she'd had plans, which she hadn't. That was beside the point. General O'Neill hadn't asked or seemed to care.
This was a first.
And it hurt.
A lot.
Could it get any worse?
Yeah sure yabetcha.
First there was the mission from the North Pole. Four days chasing a Tok'ra rumor of a Naquadah mine on the snow-encased moon PX1-873 that thankfully ended when the General ordered SG-1 home mid-day December 23rd.
Pushing a curl from her eyes, Sam couldn't remember a worse Christmas. Well, besides after her mother had died. Personally, this year had been filled with highs and lows. Mostly lows if she were honest.
Sam got a boyfriend.
Jack got a girlfriend.
Sam ditched her boyfriend.
Jack ditched his girlfriend.
Then nada.
Just abused feelings and confusion between her and the General. It might be out of the room but per their bullheaded natures, neither one addressed it. Did he even know she and Pete had mutually called their nine-month fling a wash?
Besides being a major control freak and buying Sam a house without consulting her, Pete Shanahan wasn't stupid. During their last conversation or argument, however one viewed it, he'd shared that he'd witnessed the emotional bond she and Jack shared at Daniel's stakeout. Pete may have been wounded, but he'd seen the way her CO had looked and behaved around Sam when he'd thought she'd been injured.
Sam had argued that being the SG-1 CO he'd have acted that way with Daniel or Teal'c. Pete snorted and said men have a sixth sense when it comes to their territory. Far as Pete was concerned Jack had long marked her like some alley tomcat. Pete actually said pissed. Sam shuddered. She'd been insulted and yet weirdly elated. Jack's territory. Wow!
Pete proceeded to share the only conversation he'd ever had with Jack. A thirty-second, one-sided sound bite when they'd accidentally or not, met in the grocery store near her house the weekend after Sam accepted Pete's proposal.
Jack got in Pete's face and stated in O'Neill fashion, "So help me, Shanahan, you ever hurt Samantha and I'll deliver you to hell in a hand basket!" With that, Jack stalked out of the store, got into his truck and drove off.
Pete admitted he had competition he just didn't realize it was a losing battle. When he asked Sam if she was still in love with Jack, she'd answered yes and returned Pete's ring. They parted as friends, well sort of. There was some serious door slamming on Pete's part. So far, Sam hadn't told anyone not even Cassie, who'd do somersaults when she heard the news. Cassie wanted Sam happy, just with Jack that's all, and the college student made no bones about it to either of them.
If Sam were honest, she'd seen their breakup coming long before Pete had proposed. She knew when Fifth abducted her and posed as Pete. Before then, she'd never envisioned herself married to Pete let alone living on a farm in Wyoming. The only man she'd expected to see stroll out of that barn's door was Jack O'Neill. Sam shivered with the horrific memory of her disappointment and that's when she suspected the experience was an illusion. Had Fifth dug deeper in her subconscious she'd most likely still be trapped in that nightmare. Or would she? Fifth had only passed the kissing test because Sam had never put Pete's kisses to memory.
A series of lust-sparked kisses in a locker room eight years ago invaded Sam's senses of texture, taste and smell. She'd never forget ramming her tongue halfway down his throat or when he returned the favor and yanked her down the wall and onto the floor before dragging her off to the infirmary. For almost a minute he not only kissed her hard and fierce, he'd found her mole and she'd found his sidearm, locked, loaded and ready to fire!
Sam's skin tingled and she gulped! Why was she doing this to herself?
"Because you're an emotionally repressed geek, Carter, in love with an emotionally repressed flyboy!" Sam startled and looked around. If she didn't know better, the General had murmured into her ear. Crap, now she thought like him. And she liked the way he thought. Simple. Black and white Jack O'Neill. He didn't want much out of life, just his cabin and a fishing pole. He always gave more than he received. She recalled hearing him singing, not that he'd ever admitted he could carry a note. Like so many other he'd kept that well hidden too. But last week when Sam was about to knock on his closed door she heard him and her heart stood still. He'd had his radio on and was singing to a song that befitted Jack O'Neill and also had given Sam a twinge of hope, especially his adlibs. She could hear Jack singing,
"Is it too much to ask I want a comfortable bed that won't hurt my back Food to fill me up And warm clothes and all that stuff Shouldn't I have this Shouldn't I have this Shouldn't I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses 'Sam' Passionate kisses, whoa oh oh Passionate kisses from you
Is it too much to demand I want a full house 'of kids,' and a rock and roll band Pens that won't run out of ink And cool quiet and time to think Shouldn't I have this Shouldn't I have this Shouldn't I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses, 'Sam.' Passionate kisses, whoa oh oh Passionate kisses from you,
Do I want too much Am I going overboard to want that touch I shout it out to the night "Give me what I deserve, 'cause it's my right" Shouldn't I have this (shouldn't I) Shouldn't I have this (shouldn't I) Shouldn't I have all of this, and
Passionate kisses 'Sam' Passionate kisses, whoa oh oh Passionate kisses from you, Passionate kisses, 'Sam,' Passionate kisses, whoa oh oh Passionate kisses from you.'
Man, oh, man! He'd been singing her name. Passionate kisses! She recalled their kiss on the Prometheus, which she had fantasized she'd fantasized. Was that even possible? She shook her aching head. Since then, there'd been one kiss every Christmas Eve from Jack under the mistletoe. And although he'd never French kissed her again . . .Okay so, there was that time four years back when there was a slip of tongues on New Year's Eve. Wow! That had been one fireworks of a kiss. After which they proceeded to grin stupidly at each other for the next two weeks. Sam blushed. Yeah, she most definitely knew the taste and feel of his lips and tongue. What she wouldn't give to feel them again tonight or tomorrow. Forever!
Heck, she'd give anything to see him saunter through that doorway waving a mistletoe and chuckling. "Had ya going there didn't I, Carter? Hey, I'd never leave you stranded on base, let alone without me. After all it's Christmas."
Yeah, what she wouldn't give. Sam crushed a maverick tear and kept thinking. Something she did too much according to her CO.
The fact it'd take her two weeks to say yes to Pete should have made her say no. But Jack's lack of emotional response had angered and hurt her. He'd not told her how he felt, well other than cryptically. Like she could read his freaking mind? He'd not had a temper tantrum. Not swept her in his arms and declared his undying love.
Just said, "I wouldn't be here."
What was that suppose to mean?
But then that was Jack O'Neill, cryptic to the nth degree. She knew he wasn't good at expressing himself. Sam wondered what she'd expected. Besides the Za'tarc test, the strongest outward sign she'd ever gotten from him was when she'd hummed in the elevator nine months ago. And then that she'd selfishly not realized how badly she'd hurt him had been their undoing.
"Hindsight is strongly underrated, Sam."
So she'd half-heartedly accepted Pete's proposal. Oh, she'd faked it for a while, but truth was she wasn't in love with Pete, at least not the kind of love she dreamt of or wanted. Simply put, he wasn't Jack O'Neill. That included the O'Neill traits she loved and the ones that drove her wacko and bonkers. Darn, she loved all of Jack's traits. For better or for worse the wedding vows stated and obviously for a good reason. Which meant one thing. She was hopelessly, helplessly, head-over-heels in love with her CO! She wanted him to be her lover, her husband and the father of her children. Sam was borderline O'Neill obsessed.
Meanwhile, Dad was recovering from his close call with death and spending Christmas with Mark's family in Denver. Daniel visited relatives in D.C. and Teal'c was with Ishta, Rya'c, Kar'yn, and Bra'tac. Cassie bless her heart was in town, staying at Sam's and planned to drop by tomorrow with her Christmas present. At least there was something to look forward to.
Sam returned to the one issue that kept her sulking. General O'Neill had gone to his cabin for the holidays, leaving her to man the SGC. This was a first. In all the years that she'd served with him under Hammond's command, they'd always managed to be together on Christmas whether stranded off world, or babysitting the SGC. In fact this was the first time SG-1 wasn't together for the holidays. Then again, what had she expected after getting engaged? Whatever she and Jack once had intimately was now nothing more than friendship. She should be thankful they had that, right?
"Is there anything you need before I leave, Colonel?" Walter poked his gray balding head into Jack's office and smiled warmly at her.
"Thanks, Walter, I'll be fine. You have a merry Christmas with your family and say hi to Louise for me." Sam got to her feet, walked over to the sergeant, and patted his wool coat sleeve.
"I will, Colonel. Now remember if you need me for anything-"
"Hey, don't worry, I got your number. Any Goa'uld Santa Claus' and you'll be notified." She grinned, gave him a hug and sent him on his way. Home. For Christmas, with the ones he loved.
"And even if no white snow falls, that's all right because The joy can still be found, wherever you are 'Cause Christmas is all, all in the heart . . ."
Singing, Sam bit down on her lower lip and sniffed back a tear. Dang, she hated when she got emotional, especially on duty. "Get a grip! Stay positive!" Sam turned and looked around the General's office. "'Cause Christmas is all in the heart, wherever you are . . ." 'At least I'm surrounded by his stuff. That's something, right?'
Pictures of SGC staff, teams, friends and family decorated the walls, including pictures of Jack with Charlie. The fact there were no pictures of Sara stated he'd moved on. Once that would have made her day. Now it didn't. Coz, strangely enough other than two SG-1 pictures, including two individual pictures of Jack, Teal'c, and Daniel on downtime, there's wasn't one of her and Jack alone. Worse, she knew such pictures existed. She'd known he photo Janet had taken of them in the park three years ago had been taped to the back of his old locker.
They'd been an undeniable couple back then, at least to each other. Jack and Sam had been arm wrestling on a picnic table. Sam won, but suspected he'd let her and she started tickling him to make him fess up. One thing led to another and when Jack kissed Sam Janet snapped the picture.
Sam trailed a trembling fingertip across her lips recalling the delicious wet heat of their brief but mind-spinning kiss. Sam had her photo in a drawer somewhere. She wondered if Jack's was still in his locker? Probably not. Jack O'Neill had moved on.
"And so should you, Sam. He's given absolutely no hint he wants you anymore. And why should he?"
Forcing her attention to his office, Sam concentrated on the here and now. The once reclusive Jack had personalized the small gray room more than uncle George ever had. Perhaps because this room was more like home to him than his house or cabin. After all, the General spent more time here than he did outside the mountain. Unfortunately it had begun to physically take its toll since he'd taken the position.
She'd long become accustom to his silver hair, preferred it to be frank. And for years his lean rugged face had managed to remain youthful. Jack now looked his age and she assumed it was the stress from running the SGC. The mischievous amber fire that always lit up his chocolate brown eyes hadn't been visible for months. True, he didn't have the physical regiment of off world activity that had been his stress release in the past. Yet she knew he worked out daily in the gym, boxed, and ran laps on the cadet exercise field.
Despite her disconcert that Jack had gone to the cabin for Christmas, Sam admitted he deserved time off. It was the first vacation he'd taken since accepting the position of base commander. Ironic, that after all these years, she longed for the many occasions he'd asked her to go with him. She'd always hoped, even assumed, that one of those times she'd be able to say what wanted since the first time he'd made that flirtatious offer. Yes!
Deciding to visit the commissary for coffee and cake, Sam loaded her arms with binders, switched off the office light and entered the briefing room. She halted at the observation window and gazed at the Gate Room. It was empty. Not that there should be activity on Christmas Eve, but unlike humans the Goa'uld didn't pay respect to Earth's religious holidays. The gate could activate anytime for any given reason. Including a Goa'uld invasion or far worse, the Wraith!
Jack had gone out of his way to make certain that other than the minimal staffed Alpha site, every SG team member was home and those assigned to base were invited to bring their families for Christmas dinner tomorrow. Sam had long known that beneath his gruff exterior beat the heart of a beautiful caring man. The big, teddy bear could have been Sam's. Too bad she hadn't seen how much he'd loved her before now.
Threatening tears broke free.
'Who you fooling, Carter! You always knew. You just couldn't wait it out like he could. Jack O'Neill went to hell and back for you more than once, and not just because you were a member of his team, but because he was in love with you. He even took a Tok'ra symbiote for you and then nearly died at Baal's vindictive hands!!
Groaning out loud, Sam tried to force her thoughts away from 'the man'. She desperately missed him and what they might have had, had she not been so impatient. 'Yep, patience is a virtue, Sam. And you simply ran out of it. And now what have you got? Nada!' Sam sniffed and grabbing a tissue, blew hard and then hugged the folders to her heaving chest.
'You deserve to be alone on Christmas, Carter. Deserve to have lost the only man who would have made you happy. So deal with it!'
Noise from Jack's darkened office turned Sam on her heels. Setting down the folders, she rushed quietly to the open door but not before unhitching her zat from her leg holster. A precaution the General had ordered since Baal's visit. Stepping around the door jam, she aimed at the lone figure by Jack's credenza.
"Hands over your head and turn around slowly!" she snapped in her kick ass voice.
"Holy crap, Carter! Trying to give me a heart attack?"
"General?" Sam hit the wall switch. Light illuminated the room. Sam blinked her confusion as Jack faced her with his hands upright gripping a red cellophane object. She also noted two half filled glasses on the credenza.
"Are you nuts, sir?" She scowled as her adrenaline rush bottomed-out inside her gut.
"Is that a rhetorical question?" He frowned and stuffed the object into his back pocket.
"Whatcha doing here?" Sam disarmed the zat and slipped it into her holster and released an audible sigh.
Jack snatched up the glasses ambled toward her, wearing forest green khakis and a black wool sweater that hugged his lean torso, it's sleeves jammed up his forearms. "If you didn't notice the blizzard of the century hit the springs." He cocked his head at the ceiling and the cress between his brows deepened.
Mistake number one, Sam noted, he'd failed to look her in the eyes.
"No reason to notice." She accepted the small whisky-filled glass. Man, he looked hot! Her inner thermostat raised a few notches.
"Ah! Yes. Well, I decided to stay in town until God's finished sneezing." He rocked on his heels.
"And you are here, 'why?'" She couldn't help the tenacity that punctuated each word. Sam was thrilled to see him and pissed. What was he up to?
"Never got off the mountain, that's 'why'. Roads'r glazed with black ice." He jested with his glass and chuckled nervously.
Mistake number two. Fake laugh. Knowing someone that well had its advantages.
"Oh." She leaned against the door's jam and then looked ambivalently at the amber liquid in her hand. "Thanks, sir. But I am on duty."
"And your point would be?" He challenged as he smiled around the glass's rim and then lowered it frowning.
"I um . . ." She glanced around. It wasn't as if they'd never snuck a drink out of Hammond's credenza before. It's just well, this was Jack's office now and things were different between them.
"That's an order, Colonel," he said in his CO bark as his eyes targeted hers and he stuffed one fidgeting hand into his pocket.
"Yes, sir." Sam nodded.
"I hope you get everything you want for Christmas, Sam." Jack smiled.
"You too, sir." Sam lowered her eyes, praying for what was probably impossible, even for God.
"Thanks. Now here's to a blessed and joyful Christmas. Bottoms up!" He winked and clanked his glass against hers.
Sam nodded and on cue donned her whisky. The well-aged liquor seared a path down her throat and into her empty stomach. Sam set her glass beside his and realized her hands were trembling. 'So unprofessional, Carter.' She hoped he hadn't noticed. When she looked up, she found him watching her. It wasn't his CO look or his friendly look. Her heart went to her throat. She hadn't expected to encounter this warm intimate expression that she still cherished. Sam instinctively realized Kerry had never been on its receiving end. Only Sara and Sam. It was the look Jack gave generously to few. To little children and the women he loved more than life.
Man, she missed his brown gaze washing over her, caressing her with the intensity of his love. When was the last time she'd seen and felt that passionate gaze? Oh, yeah, when she'd awoken in the infirmary with a nasty concussion after the Prometheus incident and then when he'd found her alive on the Alpha site after he'd put his arm around her. After all this time, why here and why now?
Jack seemed to sense her discomfort and the light of his heart vanished as quickly as it had shined. Sam's defense wall reared its ugly head. She needed to be around other people, even if it was the cook and janitor in the commissary.
"I'm going for coffee, care to join me?" she squeaked out, gesturing behind her.
"Not sure." He scrubbed the back of his neck and eyed her up warily. "Only if I'm wanted."
'Wanted? More than you'll ever know!' "Of course. Always, sir."
"Nice to know." Jack set down his empty glass, stepped forward and dragged his gaze back to her. His smile ironed out and his deep dark eyes searched hers for the longest while, and then he noticed, at last.
"Um, no Engagement ring?" He lifted her left hand and his scarred eyebrow hiked higher.
"No."
"So?" His slack mouth twitched with O'Neill cynicism.
"So." She smiled back, hoping, praying, he'd read her mind.
"It's over?"
"Yes."
"Ah." His hands directed traffic and his handsome features scrunched up in the boyish manner that always disarmed her. "So we're talking; Ooover-As in finished, done deal, dead in the water, dead as doorknob, no chance in hell for reconciliation with Pete, over?"
"For sure." She smiled, holding back tears. 'Please, dear God, please let him still love me.'
"I see." He leaned into the door's jam, exhaled, closed his eyes, and didn't seem to breathe.
"Sir?" Worried, Sam caressed his forearm, relishing the feel of his coarse arm hairs.
He jolted at her touch.
"About freaking time, Carter." Jack sniffed a breath and glanced to where she gripped him. He covered her hand and squeezed gently before he let go. "Guess I'll join you for coffee, then." He smiled back.
"And chocolate cake."
"Cool."
"I'm glad, sir."
"For crying out loud, it's Christmas, Sam." He motioned to the wall clock that read zero hundred hours. "For one day, spare me the protocol and screw the regs!"
"Okay, Jack," she choked out as he reached into his back pocket. She heard the rustle of cellophane before he dangled something over their heads.
"Mistletoe?" Sam chuckled as she recognized the mangled green leaf and red berries.
"Hey, it's SG-1 tradition, Sam. Once a year despite regs I get to kiss you."
"But never on base." She glanced around nervously.
"Sam?" He drawled out her name.
"Well, we don't want to mess with SG-1 tradition." She felt a huge smile split her face.
"Excellent." He eased his left arm around her waist and swept her against him while holding the mistletoe.
"Camera?" She stiffened, with both hands against his chest. She could feel the rapid gunfire of his heart and knew her own was no quieter.
"Off. So's audio."
"Pretty sure of yourself."
"Hardly. But I'm a safe bet." He grinned, his dimples tucking deep along his inviting lips. "And I'd never ask you to choose between me or your career, Samantha Jean Carter."
Sam's eyes rounded at his remark and a gasp warmed her lips. Everything came full circle as she remembered her hallucination and what he'd said then. Now she realized she'd misread that entire conversation. He'd loved her enough to let her go!
Her voice shook with raw emotion. "Yes. You're my safe bet. Always have been."
His brown eyes shimmered down at her and Sam sniffed a tear of joy. "Sweet." Teasing her, he brushed his mouth gingerly across her chin, cheeks, nose, and then swept downward across her arched neck.
"Jack!" She murmured in frustration.
"Wha-?" He whined and stepped back. His dimples deepened and his brows did a caterpillar dance across his brow.
"You going to kiss me or marinate me?"
"Thinking," he muttered and secured her against his muscled chest. "It's just I've waited and dreamt about this a long time, Samantha." His sweet breath caressed her face. He smelled like peppermints, dark chocolate and whisky.
"Me too."
"Really?"
"So there's more to this than a CO taking advantage of his Colonel with mangled mistletoe?"
"Man, oh, man, I sure hope so." She finger combed his natural spiked hair. Sam had to say it first. He deserved that much and more. "I'm in love with you, Jack O'Neill, have been since the moment I laid eyes on you. Please forgive me for being such an a-"
"Shhhush!" he pressed his calloused fingertips to her parted lips. His chocolate eyes shimmered and she thought to see tears. "All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, Sam. Even if with someone else."
"But I don't want to be with anyone but you, Jack."
"And I've kept praying you'd one day realize that."
"You prayed?"
"Yeah. A lot. One thing I've come to terms with, Carter. There are a hundreds of false gods, but there's only one true Creator and He's got my vote."
"I prayed too, Jack." Sam blushed considering it wasn't a topic they often discussed. "I prayed to God that you still loved me."
"Well, I do." He caressed her back and waist.
"And you're the only man I've ever loved, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," he said in the same tenor he'd use on the scout ship last year before he went Ancient.
"I've been such a stupid fool!"
"Yes, you have." He chuckled and then bent to kiss the tears staining her cheeks.
"Why didn't you tell me, Jack, that day on the elevator?"
Hurt flickered in his eyes and his firm mouth parted and then closed before he spoke. "Coz, given our professional situation I couldn't. 'Sides I thought you knew I loved you. But I realized you needed more than I could give you at the time. You deserved more, Sam."
"The seven year itch." Sam muttered.
"What?"
"That's what Daniel calls it. It happens more with men than women. Guess I was the exception."
"Stop beating yourself, Sam." He tangled his fingers in her hair.
She nodded reluctantly against him.
"Hey, do you recall the first time we walked through the gate together?"
"Yes. You pushed me." She grumbled.
"That's because you'd annoyed me so much I wanted to kiss you stupid, right in front of Hammond and Samuels! Sam, when I'd said, 'Oh, I adore you already, Captain.' I'd meant it. In less than a few hours you had me hook, line and sinker, woman."
She opened her mouth but he silenced her with a kiss that was soft, demanding, and mind blowing. When his tongue gently prodded her lips, Sam didn't hesitate biding him entry. Per their competitive nature two hot tongues dueled for dominance. Surrendering, butterflies danced in her tummy, followed by goose bumps and a raw undeniable ache that gripped her womanhood. Pete never gave her butterflies, let alone tasted like whisky-laced chocolate and peppermint. Sam signed into Jack's sweet addictive mouth.
His talented hands coveted the length of her body urging her closer in a dance as old as time. Her fingers sifted through his unruly hair and then pressed into his scalp, while the fever he'd ignited became an inferno. Before their kiss and caresses went further, Jack pulled away and stared breathlessly down at her. His brown eyes burned bright. It'd been so long since she'd seen that fire in his eyes. Had she done to him?
"Wow!" His voice cracked.
"You can say that again." She leaned against the doorframe for support to catch her breath.
"Wow!" He grinned causing his dimples to tuck deep along his kissable mouth. She loved those dimples, the cleft in his chin and the scar over his left eye. She loved Jack O'Neill.
"Now what, sir?"
"Sir," he lisped and his boyish smile faded. Sam flashed back to their time as Jona and Therra and the emotional pain they'd experienced after regaining their memories.
"I'm sorry, Jack." She motioned between them. "But you're still my CO and I'm still your-"
"Yep, I know. And I want you to trust and believe me when I say, it'll workout, Babe, and soon."
"But how?"
"I'm retiring, Sam, and then coming onboard as an independent consultant, which means I'll choose my hours and can accompany off world missions."
Sam's breath hitched in her throat. "Jack! Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Yeah. I'm not cut out for base command. I'm a field officer, Sam. That's where I'm at home. Not following a never-ending freaking paper trail. To be honest, the job's killing me. The final straw came when I had to decide whether or not to blow up the Prometheus with SG-1 onboard. The thought of losing you, Sam, making that fatal judgment call . . ." He flinched and looked at something beyond her shoulder. The excruciating agony that masked his rugged tanned features was a wakeup call for her. She'd no idea he'd been so miserable.
"Man, I'm so sorry, Jack! I never should have pressed you to take the position." She caressed the back of his neck tracing the scar, where the Goa'uld symbiote had entered him six years ago.
"Hey, no one twisted my arm. I thought it was a good move at the time. I was wrong and I'm not too proud to admit it. In sixty days I'll be a civilian. Think you can wait?" He cocked a questioning brow.
"Yeah sure yabetcha." She kissed his dimpled chin.
"Cool." He drew her into his arms and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "Besides, I'd love to be Mr. Mom and the SGC has the greatest daycare center. So on the days we're off world, we can drop the kids off on our way to some unexplored planet on the edge of the Crab Nebula."
"Mr. Mom! Kids!" Sam did her Turtledove chin tuck. "Aren't you missing a few important details like a marriage proposal and wedding?"
"Geez, details, details." He quipped. "I'm not missing anything, Carter. Just wanna make certain we're on the same mission report."
"Oh, we are, General. And you are something else." Sam smirked.
"Yes, yes, I am." He and kissed her nose.
"Umm, Jack?" she sighed out as his lips trailed down her chin and beyond. "About the blizzard?"
"Erm, umm?" He tickled her ribs and she tried to restrain the laughter rising in her throat.
"I had the radio on and heard the we-"
"Hey, you didn't monkey with my station did ya?" He let go, frowned and approached his credenza.
"Well, a little. But that's not the point!" Hands on her hips, she glared at his sheepish expression and could see the color staining his complexion. At last, caught in the act!
"It is to me." He strove to divert her attention. "Have you any idea how difficult it is to get good reception down here? I mean we have digital cable and yet to get one decent FM channel you have to make a pack with the devil."
Sam was on his six as he fiddled with the dial.
Static.
Louder static.
Sound.
Voices and then-
"And so far it's been a beautiful star-filled Christmas morning, folks. Just a light kiss of that white frosting is expected to grace our lawns in the early AM. And now here's Steven Curtis Chapman with his Christmas ballad, 'Christmas Is All In The Heart.'"
"Whoops!" Jack audibly gulped and turned to face the woman he loved. "I um, guess the storm's passed." He winced and began strolling backward for the door. Fast. "Cake and coffee-" He waved his hands.
"Nah! I don't think so, General." Sam was on him in a heartbeat, snatched his arm and swung him around. "I should have known! I prayed you wouldn't leave me here. Alone."
"Never, Sam." His lips tugged into a crooked smile. "I just said that to make ya squirm. Which was childish on my part." He toyed with her hair.
"Which I should have realized knowing how childish you can be."
"Ow!" Jack flinched. "That hurt."
"Doubt it." Sam laughed softly.
"Sam, I couldn't spend Christmas without you. Ever." He was in her space now and she loved when he enveloped her in his strong arms and nuzzled her neck.
"Back at ya." She picked up the mistletoe but he took it and flung it in the wastebasket.
"Don't need this," he lisped softly. "Not when God gave what I wanted most for Christmas. You. I swear my heart's going to blow like a C4 rigged Goa'uld mother ship."
"Holy Hannah! You're such a romantic, Jack O'Neill." Sam wondering how many women ever heard that poetic phrase. None.
"Yeah sure yabetcha." Jack grinned, cradled her face with his long eloquent fingers and tipped her head up toward his.
Sam gazed up into chocolate brown eyes that had captured a hidden flame and now shimmered brightly for her. She loved this man beyond words.
"Sam, before Reynolds got sick I'd intended to ask you something." He cleared his throat.
"Okay." She ventured warily.
"Wanna go ice fishing, Carter?"
"Holy Hannah! Yes!"
Jack's brown eyes grew wide and his mouth slackened. He had that deer caught in headlights look.
Sam grinned.
"Excuse me? Did you just say, 'yes' to an eight year proposition?"
"Yep. I'd loved to go fishing with you."
"Sweet." He let out a sigh and smiled back. "Samantha?"
"Erm?" She'd barely heard herself as pulsing blood resounded into her temples and a fire burned deep inside of her as it touched every part of her body, mind, soul and heart. 'Thank, you, Lord Jesus, and Happy Birthday.'
"Merry Christmas," Jack spoke against her warm inviting lips.
"Merry Christmas, Jack."
And he kissed her.
Forever!
Snap! Crackle! Pop!
'Cause Christmas is all in the heart, that's where the feeling starts And like a fire inside, it touches every part 'Cause Christmas is all in the heart And even if no white snow falls, that's all right because The joy can still be found, wherever you are 'Cause Christmas is all, all in the heart'
The Beginning . . .
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