Just a Kiss
Just a Kiss
by iamdragonrider
Summary: Sam screwed her eyes shut and wet her lips. Her mother had always said she'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before she found her prince. Slight S/J, but that's between you, me, and a pond full of frogs.
Category: Action/Adventure, Humor
Season: Season 7
Pairing: Jack/Sam
Rating: 13+
Warnings: minor language
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
Archived on: 2005-05-23
Chapter 1: A Frog, A Scientist, and a Colonel
"P3X-468. This appears to be a temple honoring the goddess Heqet, who in ancient Egypt was considered the Goddess of childbirth, creation, and grain germination. She was generally depicted as a frog or had a frog for a head." Dr. Daniel Jackson clicked his remote and the picture on the screen changed from one of a temple in crumbling ruins to bring up a picture of an Egyptian drawing of a female goddess with a frog head.
"Wow, talk about a bad hair day. And some women complain about having dry reptilian skin." Colonel Jack O'Neill had no problem interrupting the oration. He also had no problem ignoring the daggers that his 2IC, Major Samantha Carter, was sending his way with her glare.
"Are frogs not amphibians O'Neill, and not dry at all?" While Teal'c had been on Earth for several years, he could still be easily confused by subtle word choices. On the other hand, the large dark Jaffa warrior often understood a lot more than he let on and used moments like these as rare attempts at understanding and using Tauri humor.
Trying to regain control of the briefing before it was too late, Daniel jumped back in, "Actually, Teal'c is right. Heqet is usually associated with water, which is why the animal that represents her is the frog. Anyway," and Daniel clicked the next slide, bringing up pictures of the temple walls. "The MALP was able to record these inscriptions from the temple, as well as," he paused to click the next slide noticing Sam sitting up and beaming over the next item, "a second structure, which appears to be a shrine of some sort about an hour's walk from the gate. MALP telemetry indicates a possible power source, maybe a potential piece of technology." He looked to General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill, and then shrugged. "Sam and I aren't sure what any of it means yet, but we think it's worth a trip. As far as we can tell, both sites look to have been abandoned for years." With that, Daniel clicked another button summoning the lights in the briefing room back to full power.
General Hammond shuffled his papers, and looked to Colonel O'Neill, who shrugged, and rumpled his short salt and pepper hair with one hand. The Colonel didn't see any reason why they couldn't go. There was a nice temple full of squiggly inscriptions for Daniel and a possible doohickey for Carter. There was even a pond that might have some fish in it, though somehow he doubted the General would let him take his gear along. Oh well. Didn't mean he couldn't find something to use once he was there. Maybe there'd even be some sort of Jaffa meditation ah... thing for Teal'c to do there. "Let's take the kids and go play, sir. I promise not to let them stay up too late." he said with an irreverent grin.
The General had to duck his head to hide his sudden smirk. When the older man's head rose a moment later his face was serious again. "Very well. SG-1, you have a go. You leave at 0900 tomorrow."
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SG-1 Stepped through the open wormhole onto alien soil. The frog sitting on the DHD should have told them something about things to come, but Jack only found it amusing.
"Friend of yours Carter?" Jack pulled his sunglasses out and slipped them on before laying his hands causally on his P-90, moving towards the perimeter and surveying the gently waving grasslands.
"Uh, no sir." Sam gently shooed the frog off the DHD to make sure it was in working order, before moving to watch Daniel's six, who as predicted, was already crouched down beside the nearest temple wall bearing inscriptions, his notebook open, hastily jotting notes. The planet's soft breeze gently ruffled the archeologist's short brownish blonde hair and Sam just smiled indulgently and faced outwards from the site, keeping alert for threats, knowing it would be her turn soon. Sure enough, the Colonel and Teal'c were already on their way back, having established a brief perimeter check, and Jack just grinned at the man's enthusiasm, nodding to Carter.
"Carter, you're with me, let's go check out that doohickey of yours. Teal'c, you and Daniel hold down the fort, Carter and I'll be back in time for supper." Jack grinned over his shoulder at Teal'c's solemn parting nod. Sam was already striding ahead down the overgrown path, barely able to contain her eagerness to study the new device, although she was too much of a soldier to let it get in the way of her duty. He was pleased to note that she kept her hands on her weapon and remained alert, checking her surroundings at all times. They traveled mostly in companionable silence for about half an hour. Finally Jack moved to catch up with his teammate.
"So, Carter," Jack said, falling in step beside the tall blonde Major and making conversation. "Any idea what this thing is? You must have some idea."
"No sir." She shook her head and stepped over some rocks in the pathway, scanning the trail ahead. Due to the flat nature of the grassland, they could now see part of the second building while the very top of the stargate was still visible in the distance behind them. Sunlight glinted off a small body of water, from the MALP telemetry; Jack knew this was the pond that the sensors had indicated.
Jack raised an eyebrow at her response. "Really? No idea?" His response was playful, a little teasing. It wasn't often that Carter, as brilliant as she was, admitted to not having the answer to something.
She ducked her head and smiled. "Really sir. No idea."
He grinned and looked away, scoring a silent point for himself, continuing the rest of the way in silence. When they reached the second smaller building, they quickly scouted the area to make sure they were alone. They found nothing but a rather good-sized pond full of frogs hopping, splashing, and swimming about. Jack was disappointed to note that the pond seemed absent of fish. The frogs ignored the two humans. The air echoed with the croaks and splashes of the amphibians. But other than the frogs, they were the only living beings in the area, and seemed to have been the only ones to have ventured by in a long time, as the area had a very deserted feeling to it. Deciding all was in order, Jack admonished Carter not to turn the thing on, (he'd seen how she'd practically gone into raptures of joy when her eyes had lit on the device and energy readings) to which she only gave him an unreadable look, and started setting up her equipment while he scouted the surrounding area, but it seemed to be just them and the frogs.
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Left alone, Sam had quickly settled in and before long had several analysis running on the unusual object in the center of the odd half oval open ended building, which looked a bit more like a temple than a building in a way, well, more like a shrine in some respects. The pond came right up to the shrine, and smooth stone steps led down from a dais upon which the device rested and went right into the pond water. Another set of stairs led from the pathway they had traveled on the other side of the dais from the pond and made more sense since they were leading down to solid ground. Sam wasn't sure why the one set of stairs went right into the water; there might be some sort of cultural significance or something. Perhaps Daniel should come and take a look at it, and after all there were a few engravings here and there about the device and on a few of the columns and walls around the shrine, that might just help her to figure out the working of the thing. Sam was just about to speak into her radio to see what the archeologist was doing when something large and green plopped unexpectedly into the center of a jumble of sensitive electronic equipment, making Sam jump with a yelp. Realizing what it was a moment later; Sam took a hasty step toward the pile, making waving motions with her hands.
"Hey! You! Shoo! Get away from there! Shoo!" The frog didn't budge, and continued to look at her. Frowning, Carter bit her lip. Well, she had no problem picking up frogs. Crouching down and trying to be careful not to dislodge the equipment any further, Sam reached down intending to scoop up the wayward frog, but the frog had other ideas.
Where there had one moment been a frog, there was suddenly a green blur, headed straight for her face. And no matter how comfortable Sam was with handling a frog, nothing made her very comfortable with having one in her face, so suddenly having a face full of fog caused one Major Samantha Carter to let out a very uncharacteristic scream and made her stumble backwards down the stairs, where she landed in a rather undignified manner on her rear end.
Unperturbed, the frog leapt across her laptop, leaving a slimy trail. "Hey!" she shouted. The frog ignored her, jumping onto her notebook, almost as if taunting her. That did it. She was pissed off now. "Get back here you little sh..." She lunged for the little green demon spawn, but the frog was way more skilled at this that she was, and dodged adroitly out of the way. The only thing Carter managed to do was scatter her notes, while the frog now perched on top of the steps leading to the dais, its big bug eyes blinking at her. She stared back from where she lay sprawled on the ground, plotting her next move. No way was she gonna let that frog win.
"Problems Carter?" Sam suddenly found herself nose to boots with her CO and scrambled to her feet.
"Yes sir! I mean no sir!" She flushed, trying unsuccessfully to brush the dust off the front of her BDUs. "Just sorting a little problem, sir." And she couldn't stop herself from glaring over at the frog, which was still sitting there, as if it belonged there. As if it owned the place. Hell, maybe it did.
"What? The frog? Don't tell me you got a problem with frogs Carter?" Jack was finding it hard to hide a grin over the thought his 2IC might be a little squeamish.
Sensing his thoughts, she hastily held up her hands. "Oh, no sir. I like frogs. Just not that particular frog."
Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Oh. I see." He didn't.
"It keeps getting in the way, sir, and I can't seem to catch it to take it back to the pond with the others." But Carter was eyeing the frog a little dangerously, and Jack wondered if she really intended to just let it go and decided he'd better separate these two before matters escalated. Obviously, they had some issues that needed resolving. MacKenzie would have a field day with this one. He could just see the counseling session with the two patients... nah.
"Uh, Carter, how about I take care of the frog, and you go back to your alien whatsit over there okay?" For a moment, he thought she'd rebel against him, and he wondered how he'd explain away that charge of insubordination 'Uh, yeah, General, it was about this frog.' He gave himself a mental shake and quietly sighed in relief as her shoulders relaxed.
"Yes sir," she muttered. With that, Carter eyed the frog evilly one last time, than edged away back to her doohickey, gathering her notes and laptop on the way and keeping a wide berth. Jack wondered just what had gone on in his absence.
Jack shook his head, deciding Carter was working too hard, and then eyed the frog, which was still sitting there. "Well, bud, looks like it's just you and me. How about lunch?" The frog just puffed its throat out, so Jack took that as an affirmative, and warmed up some Mac 'n Cheese, tossing a second MRE packet Carter's way. She already had her nose buried in her notebook and mumbled a distracted thank you, digging into the packet one handed without even looking to see what it was. Jack shook his head at her single-mindedness. Just as he was settling down to eat his own meal, something green and slimy plopped right in the center of his tray.
"Aaagh!" he dropped the tray on the ground and leapt to his feet.
"Croak." said the frog, covered in his macaroni.
"Why you little! I oughta wring your slimy little neck!" Jack lunged for the offending creature. But like Carter had already learned, this frog was way smarter than they were, so instead of a frog, Jack wound up with a fistful of macaroni. Ignoring Carter's concerned "Sir?" Jack lurched after the little beast, who by now was on top of the alien doohickey Carter had spent most of the early afternoon studying. Holding a macaroni encrusted hand out to Carter he whispered. "Stay back, I have him right where I want him." Crouching, Jack lunged, hands grasping cool smooth flesh in his hands at the same time his chest impacted the smooth stone casing of the alien device. And at that moment, all hell broke loose.
Later, Sam wasn't sure what exactly happened next. One minute, the Colonel was stalking the same troublemaking frog that had been a thorn in her side moments before. The next minute, a fountain of light that blossomed high into the sky consumed her CO. At the same time, a tremendous force slammed her backwards, and the back of her head connected painfully with the stone columns supporting the ceiling of covered part of the shrine, leaving her helpless as events unfolded. The light coalesced into a whirlwind, sucking up the pond water, frogs, loose equipment, and any small items and spinning them about in a sudden forceful cyclone, before the terrible winds disappeared almost as rapidly as they had come. In the aftermath, the Colonel was nowhere to be seen, and the small and somewhat larger objects that had been caught up in the force of the maelstrom started to fall back down to earth in the sudden stillness. Sam watched it all blearily before slipping into unconsciousness, sure she'd hit her head harder than she'd thought because there was no way it could be raining frogs.
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Chapter 2: It's Raining Frogs
"Teal'c, this is fascinating. These inscriptions speak of a way to transform a person into the image of the Goddess, so that they might experience the creation of life." Daniel bent to peer closer at the markings he was studying.
"Was not the image of the Goddess Heqet a frog Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c raised an inquiring eyebrow.
Daniel's reply was vaguely distracted, as he jotted down more notes, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took another look at the inscriptions. "Oh, yeah. The whole frog, water, creation of life thing." Daniel turned back to the wall and dusted at another section. "Thing is, I'm not sure why anyone would want to do it, unless it was reversible."
Teal'c nodded, and was about to reply when he noticed something out of the ordinary far in the distance. He grabbed the younger man's sleeve to catch his attention.
"What is it Teal'c?" But Daniel didn't need any explanation as soon as he looked up he could see it easily enough, it looked like a tornado of light. "Oh god."
Teal'c had already grabbed his radio. "O'Neill. Major Carter. Please respond." There was no reply.
Rising, Daniel tried his. "Jack, Sam. Come in." Again, there was no reply. Wasting no further time, Teal'c grabbed Daniel's arm and the two began to run towards the shrine, abandoning their gear in their haste. They'd only gone a few steps when the phenomenon abruptly dissipated and they could barely make out small dark objects raining down for several moments before those too disappeared. Running as fast as they could, it still took both of them well over thirty minutes to reach the shrine.
The place was a mess, Carter's papers and equipment were scattered everywhere or destroyed, there was pond water and debris all over the floor and it took them a moment to locate the woman lying on the stone floor near a column where she'd obviously been thrown. She was dazed and barely conscious, moving sluggishly when Teal'c knelt beside her, Daniel a moment later by her other side, both quickly checking her over for signs of injury. Other than the obvious concussion and messy cut on the back of her head, she seemed ok. Teal'c quickly applied some gauze to the cut on the back of Sam's head, and started to clean it while Daniel tried to get some information out of her since Jack was no where to be seen. That, and the fact both of them knew that with Sam hurt, if there was any way possible, Jack would have been there if he could have, and since he wasn't, his absence spoke volumes.
"Sam, where's Jack?" Daniel caught Sam's shoulders forcing the dazed woman to look at him. Confused blue eyes locked with his.
"J-Jack?" She struggled to sit up, and Teal'c gently supported her rather then fighting her, holding her upright, then continued tending to the wound. She didn't even seem to be fully aware of his ministrations which Daniel knew had to be painful, but she wasn't even flinching even when he used the antiseptic wipe. She blinked several times as if taking in her surroundings, than seemed to notice him for the first time. "Daniel?"
"Yeah, Sam. Jack's missing, Can you help us find him?" Daniel tried to hide the urgency in his voice, doing his best to sound calm so as not to panic her unduly.
Sam was having trouble focusing. She frowned again, squinting at him. "J-Jack's gone. Daniel, it was raining frogs."
Teal'c shifted her slightly and she winced as if noticing her injury for the first time. "Daniel Jackson, perhaps we should take Major Carter back to the SGC and obtain medical assistance. We can return and search for O'Neill."
Daniel sighed. Teal'c was probably right, he hated to leave Jack, but Sam needed help. Daniel shifted, studied the obvious destruction of the room, looking for some clue, some idea as to what had happened here that might help them find Jack. Just then, Sam reached out an unsteady hand and grabbed a fistful of Daniel's green shirt. "No. You don't understand. It was the light. He fell. The light took him, I saw it happen."
Taking her hand in his, Daniel studied her face. She was becoming more alert by the moment. "Where Sam, what happened? What light?"
She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep steadying breath before trying again. "There was a frog. It was in the way. Ja- the Colonel tried to catch it. It jumped onto the device. He went after it and stumbled, landing across the machine. Somehow it activated some sort of blast wave. I'm not really sure what happened after that Daniel, I'm sorry. All I remember was a bright light, and what seemed like a whirlwind came from nowhere and picked up everything. The equipment, the water, the frogs, everything. That's when I must of hit my head. I don't remember anything else, I'm sorry." After apologizing for the second time, Sam looked down at her lap, squeezing her hands together and biting her lip. Daniel reached down and gently placed his hand over them until she looked up and met his eyes. He gave her an encouraging smile.
"Major Carter, you must now rest, Daniel Jackson and I will look for O'Neill." Teal'c helped Sam to lean back against the column and handed her a canteen and a few tablets from his vest pouch where he'd gotten the medical supplies. She looked like she wanted to protest, but after a moment took both items without complaint, and leaned back against the column, closing her eyes.
Daniel stood and walked over to the device, crouching near it but being careful not to touch it, he looked at the inscriptions and frowned. Teal'c moved to join him.
"Daniel Jackson, do you believe this to be the device spoken of in the temple?"
Daniel bit his lip. "If it is Teal'c, we have a big problem on our hands."
"Do you believe there is a way to reverse the transformation once it has occurred?"
"I really can't think that anyone would willingly do the transformation unless it was reversible. The inscriptions at the temple seemed to indicate that it was, but they didn't say how it was done. Perhaps the way can be found here."
"Then you must find the way Daniel Jackson, and watch over Major Carter. I will search for O'Neill." Teal'c started to stride away.
"Teal'c, wait," Teal'c turned, regarding him patiently. "I'm not sure how far the transformation goes, if he'll be aware of himself or not. We may not have any way of knowing him, or he us."
"Let us hope that is not the case Daniel Jackson." With that, Teal'c strode out of the shrine, and Daniel turned to the inscriptions.
Half an hour later Daniel had his answer. And it wasn't all good news. Quickly he called Teal'c back to the shrine, and roused Sam, pleased to see her brief nap had made a world of difference, for she now was bright eyed and alert, if a bit stiff and sore. All traces of her earlier confusion were gone, although she still could not recall the events of what happened to Jack very well, but Daniel suspected it was a result of the initial injury and nothing to do with any lasting concerns.
Daniel cleared his throat, and instantly, Teal'c and Sam focused on him expectantly. "The device was the one mentioned in the temple." At Sam's blank look, Daniel explained. "The temple described a machine that would transform a human into an image of the Goddess, which we all know the Goddess Heqet is represented by a frog, which could only mean that this device would transform a person into a frog." Sensing their next question, he held up a finger. "It can be reversed, apparently, its really simple."
"Oh?" Sam raised an eyebrow and waited.
Pushing his glasses up on his nose, Daniel crossed his arms and shifted. "All that's needed is a kiss from someone close to the person in question, and the transformation will reverse itself."
"Ah. So that's all huh. Instant prince." Sam contemplated this. And then she noticed that Teal'c and Daniel were both staring at her. "Uh, why are you both staring at me?"
"Um, uh." Daniel coughed, deciding to change to a slightly less dangerous subject. "Actually the kiss is the easy part. The difficult part is going to be finding Jack before the sun goes down completely."
"Or?"
"Or the transformation becomes permanent." Daniel shifted uncomfortably, as the others looked over their shoulders at the pond which was filled with hundreds, maybe even thousands of frogs, and the enormity of their task set in.
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Chapter 3: The Frog Colonel
"We'll just have to find the Colonel before then." Sam looked worried, but her voice held an edge of determination. Now that it was clear that Jack had been turned into a frog, and the place was crawling with the things, how were they ever going to find one particular frog among so many and deliver the needed kiss?
"Indeed" Teal'c sounded just as determined to find their missing team member.
Sam frowned, looking at the level of the sun. They had arrived on the planet late morning and had spent a good part of the afternoon traveling and studying the temple and the alien device. The hour was now late, and only a few precious hours were left now before the sun set on the planet, if she were any judge. "I don't think we have time to return to the SGC to appraise General Hammond of what's happened. The Colonel may not have that much time."
"We should start looking right away, likely he's in the pond, since that's where the whirlwind seemed to be localized." Daniel frowned at the murky water, pushing his glasses up on his nose.
"Well, my mother always said I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my prince." Sam made a face of distaste as she surveyed the slimy green pond teeming with equally slimy green amphibians. Damn alien artifacts anyway.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure about this Daniel?" At Daniel's nod, Sam walked down the steps to the pond. "We'd best get started then." Sighing, Sam waded into the shallow pool. "The things I do for love of my country," she muttered, rolling up her sleeves and wrinkling her nose. It wasn't that she didn't like frogs exactly. As a child, she'd been right out there clambering through creeks and ponds, digging up worms and frogs and snails with Mark and his friends. But kissing one? Selecting a fat frog, Sam held it up to eye level with both hands. "Colonel?" The frog blinked, its throat pouch puffing in and out. She blinked back. She sighed. This was getting nowhere fast. "Better pucker up, Major." Screwing her eyes tightly shut, Sam quickly brought the amphibian to her lips, giving it a brief and rather chaste kiss on the end of its snout.
"Bleagh" Thrusting the frog out at arms length, Sam cracked one eye open, observing the frog for any signs of change. Was it maybe breathing a little faster? The frog kicked one leg and let out a throaty croak. Nope, not the Colonel. Dropping the fat frog back into the pond, Sam cast a glance to where Teal'c and Daniel stood nice and dry, and shook her head at them before going after another frog when a thought occurred to her.
"You know, guys, it didn't actually say that the kiss had to come from me did it?" Sam straightened with another likely victim clasped in her hands, and watched the startled looks on their faces.
Teal'c recovered first. "No Major Carter, it did not."
Daniel pushed his glasses up on his nose as he watched Sam kiss the second frog with as much success as the first one. If not for the dire circumstances, the sight would have been amusing. Suddenly uncomfortable with where the Major's line of reasoning was headed, Daniel shifted slightly. "Erm, no, it didn't. It said someone close. I just assumed..."
Major Samantha Carter dropped her latest frog back into the pond where it promptly swam away and pulled herself up to her full height, planted her fists on both hips and glared at her two still very clean, very dry, and fairly useless teammates. She suddenly realized just what they had assumed and they had another thing coming. "Then I suggest you stop assuming and the two of you get in here and help me find the Colonel. We've only got a few more hours before the transformation becomes permanent." With that, Sam turned her back on them, and bent to kiss yet another frog to hide her rapidly warming cheeks.
Daniel blinked, and turned to look at Teal'c, who merely raised an eyebrow, then laid his staff weapon on the stairs by the pool, rolled up his sleeves as Major Carter had done, and stepped into the pond, where he picked up the first frog he came to. "Greetings," he said solemnly, and then kissed it gently, almost reverently on the nose. Teal'c was already moving onto his second frog by the time Daniel was able to recover his shock at seeing the large Jaffa warrior tenderly kissing a frog. Bad enough Sam kissing one, but Teal'c? And he, Dr. Daniel Jackson, archeologist, linguist, anthropologist, was about to join them. General Hammond was never going to believe this report. Just how did SG-1 always end up on these sorts of missions?
Carefully watching his step, Daniel waded in a direction different from his two teammates, trying to cover a section of the pond other than the one Sam and Teal'c were covering (it wouldn't do to have them all kissing the same frog would it? Or maybe it would, who knew?) Daniel winced as something squelched under his foot. Frogs hopped and splashed and croaked about in the pond, and Daniel despaired of ever finding the missing Colonel. Picking up a dripping wet frog, Daniel regarded it. "Jack, you owe me, big time for this one." And with that, Daniel's lips touched frog lips. "Bleh! Bleh! Oh! Yuck! That's just gross!"
"Daniel, don't be such a girl," Sam called teasingly. "I think they're kind of cute." Having had time to get accustomed to the idea of kissing frogs, Sam could afford to tease Daniel, and held up her own frog, petting it before giving it a loving kiss and returning it to its companions, getting another in the process.
"Indeed Daniel Jackson. The amphibians seem to welcome our attentions." The frogs seemed to almost be jumping into Teal'c's cupped hands for their kisses. Must be some sort of Jaffa zen thing. Daniel frowned, still tasting frog slime in his mouth.
In the face of such displays, Daniel had no choice but to swallow his revulsion, and get on with it. Sam grinned privately at the desired effect, and continued with her own task. Kissing frogs Sam had discovered was a lot like blind dates. Most of them were pretty boring. Some of them were mildly interesting, like the lively little croaker that had just leapt away across the pond after receiving his kiss. Must be the love 'em and leave 'em type Sam thought dismissively. And some of the frogs were actually better kissers than some of the dates she'd been on, which really didn't say much about her pathetic love life, or lack thereof.
The minutes dragged on, and the first hour passed as the three still human members of SG-1 slogged through the pond kissing as many frogs as they could. As their precious time ticked by, they called out for their missing teammate and started to drift together, comparing frogs, searching, hoping.
"Here," Daniel grabbed a likely frog. "This one looks like Jack." He quickly pecked it on what passed for a frog's cheek. Nothing. Sam grabbed his wrist, bringing the frog closer to her own face, and left a soft kiss on the frog's lips, before gently taking the frog from Daniel's hands and offering it to Teal'c, who pressed a kiss to the top of the frog's head. Still nothing. They sighed together. This had been going on for the last thirty minutes each time one of them thought they had found a frog that might have looked like Jack. Sam let the frog go, and they each went back to the task at hand, weary and sore, and very much aware of what little time remained.
It was mostly silent in the pond, but for the splashes of their boots, and the frogs, and their occasional calls of "Colonel!" "Jack!" or "O'Neill". They wondered what the frogs thought of this intrusion into their normally peaceful home, and the odd behavior of the three humans.
If only the three had known that the frogs for the most part ignored the humans, unless of course they were being kissed, and then of course it was a minor inconvenience until it was released to swim away again, except for the unlucky few that got caught over again, or got kissed more than once, but still, the frogs were certain the inconvenience would go away. At least most of the frogs were. All but one that is. One frog that just didn't seem to be all that good of a swimmer compared to the others, who had started out on the wrong side of the pond when all the commotion started and didn't know what was happening at first. It had taken him so long to figure out what was going on that now he worried that the delay would cost him dearly.
Because now he knew that that was his team out there, and they were out there kissing frogs, and he knew that the fact they were kissing frogs had to have something to do with him, and he wanted their lips on his lips. Well, maybe not Teal'c's or Daniel's, but Carter was there, and he wouldn't mind Carter's lips on his lips any day, frog or not.
And so the frog formerly known as an Air Force Colonel did his best to kick, jump, hop and swim as best he could to the three humans, climbing over, under, or around other frogs and obstacles when they got in the way, heading unerringly toward Carter. Not that he didn't appreciate Teal'c or Daniel... Just that a kiss from them seemed so wrong when a kiss from her seemed so right.
And then her hands were holding him, and her eyes were closed. "Carter?" he said, but it sounded more like "Croaker?" It didn't even faze her as her soft lips neared his. She must have had a lot of practice, kissing all of those other frogs. Jack was green with envy. Heh. Good one. His froggy lips curled up at the corners. And then it happened. Her lips touched his so gently.
Nothing happened at first, and for a moment, Jack's heart squeezed painfully. But then he started to feel warm all over, and brightness started to fill him. He heard someone gasp and looked to see Carter's wide blue eyes staring at him in shock. Suddenly, she was stumbling backwards, and they were both falling as she landed on her butt in the shallow water of the pond with a splash. Somehow, she held onto him, now at arm's length.
But Jack didn't have any time for further consideration. The warmth continued to consume him, and he felt his arms and legs lengthening, his body expanding, his head swelling. He thought there should have been pain, but there was only warmth. And then it was all over.
And suddenly he was conscious of being held in someone's arms. A very soft, very warm someone. Who was under him. A very female someone. Who was sprawled in shallow, murky, slimy water. And he was naked. Very naked. And that someone was Carter. Who was still under him. And had he mentioned he was naked? On top of Carter?
With a yelp, he rolled away, grabbing for a lily pad in an effort to cover his dignity, and managing to startle a few frogs in the process.
He blinked. She blinked. This was going well. Time for a little icebreaker. He sucked in a breath. "Sooo. Nice kiss." Her eyes grew wide. Did he just say that? D'oh! Fortunately for them both, the cavalry arrived. What took you so long guys?
"Whoa, hey. Jack." Daniel didn't seem to know whether to laugh or look away.
"Welcome back O'Neill. Do you require assistance in rising?" Ah, good old Teal'c.
"Ah, no, I think I'll wait right here until my pants dry." Jack decided he didn't want to know what the green slimy thing was that just floated by, nor the squishy thing he could feel between his toes. Part of him wanted to run screaming from the pond, dignity be damned, but he was a Colonel in the USAF fer cryin' out loud, and Colonels did not go running and screaming from anything. And then something nudged against his very bare butt cheek and he hoped it was a frog and thought there might always be a first time for some things. His team would never tell, would they?
"Ah, Jack, you don't have any pants." Oh, how very observant you are Daniel. Jack scowled. He'd remember that evil glint the next time Daniel woke up in a field, naked, with no memories.
And then Teal'c was removing his jacket and holding it out to him like a holy grail, and Jack thought it was the best thing since beer and ice hockey. Well, almost. "Carter, turn around," he ordered, deciding to ignore the muffled snort. She had just kissed a pond full of frogs for him. How many guys could claim a woman had done that for them? He smirked as he used the sides of his hands to scrape as much of the murk off his body as he could before gratefully accepting the proffered jacket and tying it about his waist.
Mourning the loss of his boots, Jack stepped onto the grass around the outside of the pond. At least the trek back to the gate wasn't very far, only an hour's walk and over grassland, so hopefully his feet wouldn't protest too much. Jack surveyed the rest of his team. The kids looked tired and dirty, streaked with muck, especially Carter, who'd gotten dunked rather unceremoniously. He tried not to let his eyes linger on the way her BDUs clung to her curves. She met his eyes, and gave him a soft smile.
Silently they gathered what little gear and weapons they still had left. Tongues would wag when they walked back through the gate, but at least they'd be walking back through the gate this time. "OK kids, we ready to go?" Jack asked.
Somewhere in the pond, a frog croaked, and Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c all made nearly identical faces of distaste. Wisely, Jack did not make a comment. As one, the team turned towards the gate, quickly leaving the pond behind. Jack moved to fall in step with Carter.
"So, Carter, find any princes?" Sam looked at him curiously, and then looked away. She was silent for so long Jack wondered if he'd maybe overstepped his bounds. He let her walk a few steps ahead to give her space, and instead found himself transfixed by the way her hips swayed, telling himself it must be from the clinging wet fabric that he was noticing now, and not the fact that he was wearing nothing except a jacket and pond scum. And that his second had just kissed him. Not that they'd had any choice... But still, it had been a rather nice kiss, and he started to think of other places he' like to have those lips. With a supreme act of conscience, Jack tried to focus on something else. Oh, look, grass; see how it swayed, just like Carter's hips... Shit. Mind. Out. Of. Gutter.
"Maybe." Her sudden single word startled him so that he stumbled, catching his bare foot on a root, which in turn caused the jacket to slip precariously. Grabbing at the jacket allowed the Major to stride several more steps ahead and so Jack missed the mischievous grin on her face as he made to make sure all his important parts remained decently covered.
Catching up to her again, he glanced sideways at her, but her face was expressionless as she took in her surroundings like any good soldier. "Maybe?" he said.
She shrugged, and was silent again for another few yards, and then cast a sly glance his way. Suddenly she picked up her pace, moving to outdistance him and join Teal'c and Daniel, and he couldn't help but notice again the way the damp fabric hugged her rear end, especially with the way she was moving her hips just so, and he knew she was doing it on purpose, but couldn't call her on it because he had started it with his staring and choice of conversation. Distracted as he was with the view and the thoughts in his head, he was caught off guard when she called back over her shoulder. "He's a good kisser!"
At that, Jack stopped short, dumfounded. His mouth worked, but no sound came out. He stood motionless that way for several moments, before he shook himself, a grin spreading across his face. "Oy." He said. And then he ran to catch up to the woman who would kiss a pond full of frogs to find just the right one.
~Finis~
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