The more I see of this place, the more I realise just how desperate these people are. How long must they have been fighting and even with advanced technology like this, the scars of war are evident all around. The people forced to live beneath the surface fighting a battle with weapons controlled by the mind, like that - plane thing - Jack just had some fun with. Fun? Well, Alar said, the enemy weapon Jack had helped shoot down was unmanned, but then, we only have his word to assure us of that fact.
I can see it in Jack's eyes as, Alar decided at the wrong time to divulge important information. That whole little...problem with long-term exposure to the use of that - for want of a better name - simulator. Yeah, Jack's face sure is a picture.
It's time to sit around the table and talk now, something I've been itching to do since we arrived here. Alar seems more than willing to answer questions, the guy has been eager to please, now it's time to find out what he wants in return for the technology Jack, Sam and Teal'c seem pretty interested in. Well, yeah I'm interested to, that Beta Cantein, now that would be handy.
"I intended to save this bottle until the end of the war. May the friendship between our worlds be the first step toward that end.To Friendship!"
Everyone joins in the toast, well say for Teal'c but the small smile he is showing and the way he bows his head ever so slightly as everyone drinks the alcohol laced wine, is his way of honouring the rite. This seems to bug Alar, not sure why but Alar has been giving off this vibe every time Teal'c enters the room. Maybe it's just me since no one - not even Teal'c has noticed.
"You...did not join in the pledge."
"I do not consume alcohol."
"Ah!"
There's that vibe again, and I shuffle in my chair and take to inspecting the contents of the table while the discussion turns to work.
"Were you impressed by our weapons system, Colonel O'Neill?" Ferral, she's some kind of doctor.
"Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! We'll take a dozen!" Another line that breaks the ice and I wonder as our hosts laugh, if Jack has been paying attention to the lessons in diplomacy I have been trying to give him.
"This food you've brought is most flavorful."
"We can do much better, believe me."
"You must understand that we have survived on nothing but hydroponically grown yeast for many years."
"Is THAT what this is?!" I put down the eating utensil and back away from the substance. Maybe I should start paying attention to Jack's lessons on - do not eat the native food.
"Your power generation requirements must be enormous." Sam, back to talking shop.
"Do you not utilise controlled fusion on earth?" Alar inquirers, leaving his meal momentarily.
"Controlled...?" Jack smiles and shakes his head.
"It is a most efficient means of power generation...unfortunately the tutarian oxide fuel we require to operate our reactors is now in short supply."
"Heavy water." Sam, he can tell she's pretty excited and needs no prompting from Jack to explain. "It's like regular water, Sir, except it's hydrogen nucleus contains two..."
"I know what heavy water is, Major!"
Sure you do Jack. You just don't want to look stupid in front of the way-smarter-than-us guys.
"And if that's what the Eurondens need, that's what we'll get them."
"In return, we can teach your people how to construct weapons systems such as ours, Erofighters, stasis devises, fusion reactors."
"Sounds fair. OK?"
This is to easy.
"Medicine, Sir."
"Oh! Right! Uh...we were very impressed with the beta cara...candy...stuff ..."
"Beta cantein, of course!"
Way to easy!
"Jack."
"Daniel." That's Jack's way of asking him, what?
"Shouldn't we ask them what they want the heavy water for?"
"Oh, no, I don't think so..."
"The power generated by your heavy water would be used to reinforce our defences, Doctor Jackson." Alar answers his question, even though Jacks more or less told him he at least doesn't want to know. Nothing bad known, nothing to feel bad about?
"Daniel." That's Jack speak for. See. That's a good enough answer for Jack, and I have to admit, we did come to help these people survive.
"And, in due course, to strike back at the enemy."
That's the part he was afraid of.
"Jack." Come on, Jack, listen to me!
"Daniel, shouldn't we have this discussion some other time?" Jacks voice is deceptionaly calm, cause for concern for anyone pissing the Air Force Colonel off.
"No, I don't think so." A mirror image of Jacks earlier reply and it only serves to anger his friend more.
"Surely you can understand our desire to end this war that has lasted for a generation." I'm starting to feel all on my own here, the looks Jacks shooting my way aren't helping a great deal but despite the obstacles, there's no way I'm going to let Earth be responsible for funding or helping to drive a world-war.
"No, I do understand that, Alar, I do, it's just that, the Stargate, because it's capable of transporting your people to another world entirely."
"But I have told you, thousands of our people are in stasis." That's his only excuse for wanting to stay here and kill or be killed?
"Well, take them out of stasis, and find a new home." Why is this only simple to him? The look Alar is giving Daniel now has the archaeologist a little worried, dirty looks and now on two fronts.
"Then what would all this have been for? This is our home."
"I'm sorry, I just don't understand why you would want to continue to fight a war when there's another choice." Jack is getting a little impatient now, I'm treading on very thin ice but I can't let this lie.
"Daniel, you heard the man." Jack speak for shut up.
"You said yourself that the atmosphere is poisoned, what is there left to win?" A question despite the subtle way Jack's telling me to bite my tongue. Any further protest from Alar or Jack is curbed at that point. The glasses and light fixtures start to shake and clatter. The room itself quakes and an announcement from the doorway signals the end of our meal, and discussion.
"Please excuse us. We'll be in the War Room once you reach you decision."
Alar's left, and there is no comfort of strangers to spare me from Jacks wrath.
---
So close. So close to all of the fuel they need to end his fathers legacy and create the world he died aspiring to achieve.
"It is going well." Ferral states, matching her commanders stride as they head for their War Room to launch and over look a counter-strike.
"It could be going better." He snaps back.
"Colonel O'Neill is very eager to over-see the trade, why are you so worried?"
"Dr. Jackson, I'd prefer it if he wasn't here causing this delay."
"We can't prevent that, Alar. Clearly he holds some influence if he is permitted to accompany the Colonel in these negotiations." Alar suddenly stopped and Ferral mirrored the action, turning to face her commander.
"No, Ferral. I would prefer it if Dr. Jackson was - for some reason - unable to attend the next meeting." His eyes darkened. "We're to close to the completion of our task, the Earth trade of Hard-Water is just what we need, I don't want anything to disrupt that. Not even one of the Earth delegates."
"You want me to...?"
"No, any serious harm comes to him and it will only cause suspicion. Just see to it that Dr. Jackson is...to ill to leave his native home once he leaves."
"Yes, Alar. As you wish it."
---
Here we go.
"Next time I tell you to shut up..."
"I didn't hear you tell me to shut up."
"Too subtle for ya?"
"For once, yes. Would you hear me out?"
"Carter? Our standing orders, what are they?"
"To seek new allies and aquire technologies to aid in the defence against the Goa'uld."
"And have we carried out those orders?"
"We came here to help them." My argument is lost on him.
"Is that not what we are doing, DanielJackson?" And Teal'c, it seems. I'm on my own here, that's fine. I was on my own most of my life, I can handle this now.
"No, their who world is in flames, and we're offering gasoline. How is that gonna help?"
"We are, in fact, offering water."
"Thank you!" Teal'c obviously didn't get my point, yet Jack takes Teal'c correction as a sure indication the Jafa supports this agreement.
"I was speaking metaphorically."
"Well, Stop it! You're not being fair to Teal'c." The Jafa just looks lost. "Decision's made."
"This mission has never had anything to do with helping these people has it? We came here to help ourselves!"
"Carter, Take Daniel back with you, tell Hammond we struck a deal."
"Yes, Sir."
"You don't give a damn what's gonna happen to them! You want their technology, and you're taking advantage of the situation!" The ground is shaking again, it's eerie, almost as if the clash of them both has caused it. The rumbling gets worse as Jack's temper finally breaks.
"Yes, yes I am Daniel! They're getting something they want, we're getting something we want! I don't have a problem with that! Carter."
"We're on our way, Sir."
"This conversation isn't over!"
"Oh, you're right, Daniel! It's never over with you! It's always the same damn thing!"
"This has got nothing to do with me!"
"Do you realise what they're offering?"
"But at what price?"
"Oh, for cryin' out loud!"
"Where you going?"
"To see what I can do to help!"
Help? Helping to ensure you get what you want, or helping? Each of them team look at me, Jack's leaving and Teal'c following while Sam is waiting to escort me back to the base, like some kind of naughty child being sent home from school. Closing my eyes doesn't help as when they open the same sorry situation is waiting for me and I leave the room ahead of Sam, not able to bring myself to look at her.
Do they all see me that way? Like some kind of spoil-sport? I want what they want! I want to be able to wake up one morning and not have to worry about the damn Goa'uld and the possibility they will invade. But I don't want blood on my hands getting that either.
Why did I think I could make a difference here in this program? I knew it was always going to be this way. Individual opinion counts for little when the military see something they want. Want, for the right reasons, but would those reasons be enough to cause more misery upon a long-time warring race?
I'm so angry I don't see her coming. Ferral. She's in a hurry to and being a doctor in this place that's gotta be a full time job. She collides into me and being rather small she goes down while I'm merely caught off balance. My hand goes down to help her up and she grabs hold with a gloved hand. Luckily there's no blood on them, not that I'm afraid of getting dirty, it's more a case that, that's a good indication no one has been injured to badly in this latest raid.
"Sorry, I didn't see you." I smile as she's now on her feet but Sam has already passed us by and I run to catch up, the growing rumbles giving me something to focus on other than my anger, and my wrist, which is feeling a little itchy...
---
Here we are again, sat around the same table as before. It's a little disconcerting for some reason. I'm picking up a vibe. Well a few actually. The talk with the General went a little better than it did with Jack, but still, I can't help but feel that - once again - my misgivings aren't being taken seriously here, since Sam and I brought back a couple of gallons of Hard Water ready for the Euronden's to use in the aid of their defence. I have to admit it has helped, Alar and another of his kin made a comment about the silence.
So why does my head feel like there's still a bombing going on some where?
"I propose we write down on paper what we all ready share in our hearts."
"Um, before we do that, I have a question." At my interruption, Jack sighs.
Not now, please my head hurts.
"General Hammond also would like to know, Sir." Sam offers and, finally I don't feel so on-my-own.
"It's alright, Colonel. I don't mind." Of course he doesn't mind, now that the leader of Earth's first line of defence wants to know. A thought that raises my blood pressure a little.
"How did this war start?"
"The first enemy bombs fell along Euronda in a surprise attack. I was a boy of nine. I remember that night. I remember the floor of the room in which my father sequestered me shook with each explosion. I remember, knowing that as each bomber got through meant, another building, another home, another street in the city above me was gone. That is how this war began, Doctor."
I blink at that. That's his only explanation? Was it cultural, religious or a territorial dispute? Come on I need a little more information here!
"And for that, we only have your word." I'm not at my best right now, what I really wanted to say was prove it. Books, data, anything to show some concrete evidence proving these people really are just fighting for their lives after suffering an unprovoked attack. Hell, a picture of the people they're fighting against and a reason, a real reason.
"Three of our best men died attempting to reach Earth through your Stargate."
"Well, that was an accident." Why I responded with that I don't know. He sent his men out into the unknown. Sure it's awful they had to die just to get someones attention but, it was no ones fault.
"And we have only your word."
Pain.
"Any more questions, Daniel?" Jack's looking to end this conversation again, but I'm not going to let him. I hit a nerve just then with Alar.
"Yes. Uh, I'd like to know a little more about your enemy."
"Is this part of your bargaining process, Colonel?"
So much for not minding.
"Not usually."
"What more can we offer you than everything we have?"
"Then why don't you just answer the question?"
"Colonel O'Neill? Do we have an agreement?"
"We do."
"Jack..."
"Daniel!" His shout vibrates my skull. "Shut up. Is that clear enough?"
"Sir, if you're gonna go back and tell General Hammond, I would like to stay here and take a look at their fusion technology." On my own again, for a moment I thought I had won Sam over.
"Fine." Jacks a guy who takes his work very seriously. Say for the toast he never touches alcohol when he's working. But he's touching it now, and by the look on he's face he's wishing it was something a little harder.
I've done all I can here, no one wants to listen or even consider the possibility were only been given information they want us to have. If I open my mouth again to try and convince my so called friend this, I'm probably going to get a black eye.
Again I'm not sure why I thought I could make any kind of difference. As Jack said, decision made. Hell, it was made long before we came to this world. All we were doing was waiting for the right situation to come along so we could take advantage of it.
Pain.
My head...
I stagger, anyone who saw me then would have thought that the tunnels were under attack again the way I went off to the side to cling onto the battered wall. I really don't know whats brought it on, could be stress. We've all been getting headaches, so much so that the off world supplies now include rations of pain-killers. I'm missing mine right about now.
It's subsiding but I can't wait to get back swallow down a fistful of pills and hopefully never wake up again. Wish-full thinking.
The DHD comes into view and I start dialling for home. I haven't even noticed Jack. So its a shock when he grabs my hand as I'm punching in the address. Part of me wants to punch him, the part that's upset and in pain and in no mood for a 'do as you're told' speech.
"We're not going."
"Why?"
"Teal'c and I are gonna have a look around first. You ask questions."
"I thought you told me to..."
"I know what I said, Daniel it was rude and short sighted and I'm sorry."
"Well, thank you for, recognising that."
"Now, I'm saying this, go ask questions, lots of questions!"
---
It's over. And I for one am very glad of that fact. It ended the same way as it started, with one of the Eurondens slamming against the Iris. The irony isn't lost on my but this time I'm feeling a little less sympathetic. The guy was trying to wipe out an entire race of people all because they had a different skin colour. It's a way of thinking I've never been able to condone.
The General looks a little disappointed, for some reason he's looking at me. With good reason I suppose. I was, after all the only one against this alliance. Does he think I sabotaged the negotiations? A sickening thought to me - literally. Could be the headache but I do actually feel sick.
"De-brief in one hour, Colonel." Hammond declares and then starts to prepare for the meeting while myself and the rest of SG-1 go to hang up our off world fatigues.
---
The post-mission physical is done in a matter of minutes. The medical staff have been doing this long enough to recognise the signs of a possible host. It's really all these medicals are for. Making sure we have nothing in our heads. The way mine feels now I wonder if there is anything up there trying to push out my brain through my ear.
My discomfort hasn't gone un-noticed and Janet provides me with something that will help. She knows me to well and its hard to hide anything from her.
Bloods took, were now confined to base for twenty-four hours till they get the results back. Any infection or other environmental hazards taken into our bodies will be detected by then. Worst case scenario? Isolation till the substance is expelled by the body harmlessly or treated with drugs. As yet that hasn't happened to me.
As usual Teal'c is the first one done and has already left. Sam is still confined behind a curtain and by what ever means necessary, Jack has managed to irritate the nurse and get away with the bare-minimum checks. He's just leaving now and I'm debating whether to follow. A lot of things were said in the heat of the moment, Jack's already made his apology and I need to think about making mine. I stand by what was said and so does Jack. We're both on the same side here, so why does it feel like our friend-ship has been rocked to the very core?
---
The De-brief went smoother than I thought, the General certainly looks a little less disappointed by the out-come. I know these people, I know they wouldn't have condoned that war and would have felt very bad finding out just what it was all about and be to late to stop it or taking anything back.
Jack's telling us now about the second time he took control of one of those fighters and took out some of the 'enemy' planes, this time a manned one. His eyes are dark and he isn't able to look at me. He took a life in a war based on a Racist feud. He's got to be feeling terrible right now, but as always he does a good job of hiding it.
Maybe beer and a game of hockey will help...
Pain.
This headache is starting to get to me, I actually flinch this time and bring my hand to the bridge of my nose. I read some-where that there is a pressure point there, that massaging it - like I'm doing now - can relieve the pain. It's not working but I'll keep trying since the pills Janet give me haven't even touched it yet.
"Do you have anything to add, Dr. Jackson?" At the sound of my name I let my hand fall back to the table and shake my head. It's just about all I can manage but for some reason that doesn't go down well with Jack.
"Come on Danny. Say something."
Now where has this come from? I frown and gently shake my head and manage a smile at Jack.
"You've pretty much covered it, Jack." I shrug. "What's left to say?"
"Oh I don't know. You've always got something to say. How about 'I told you so'?"
"I think we're all bigger than that, don't you?" I keep my tone light. Jack's had a tough day, we all have.
"So, you not 'having anything to say' isn't some kind of silent protest?"
"Against what?"
"Things, that were said." I blink which sees Jack continue. "I know I said to shut up, Daniel but is there any need to take it this far?"
"Jack, really I just don't have anything too..."
Pain. Bad. Worse.
Jack's speaking again, I don't know what about, I'm to busy trying to get a handle on this.
"Daniel?" Sam's right by me, her voice is low but loud. It means she's right there, touching my hand now as I unknowingly grip the arm of my chair till the knuckles have turned white. I daren't open my eyes to confirm it though. It would hurt more. Even with my eyes tightly shut and head low I can see bright spots of light exploding behind the back of my lids. "What's the matter?"
"Headache, bad one." I manage to say without loosing what little I've eaten that day. My stomach is rolling now. I've never had a headache to cause me so much pain as to see me feeling this awful. First time for everything.
"We should get Janet in here..."
"Right." Jack. He sounds concerned. And he's closer to me than before. I've been enough of a burden to them already.
"No, I..I just need to lie down and...I'll be fine." I'm standing before anyone can tell me other-wise. For that I open my eyes slowly, it doesn't hurt as much as I thought but my eyes feel like they've been closed for hours so every things a little more blurry than I remember. I'm on my feet which is good. Trouble is, that doesn't last for long as my knees start to shake and I'm falling before I even realise. The landing is gonna hurt a bit but I can't even brace myself since my whole body has turned to Goo.
Someones caught me. I know this since the landing was soft and then the rest of the descent to the floor was slow and deliberate. I can't open my eyes and everything sounds muffled, except for my heart. I can hear that clearly. It's fast and with each beat comes a throb threatening to split my head in two. I groan as I slip away, the secure ground beneath me opening up to swallow me and I fall...fast.
---
It's a bad thing really. Getting used to waking up in the Infirmary. It just goes to prove how often I find myself in this situation. Before I would feel a little disorientated, waking to find myself in anything but my own bed, now I'm starting to expect it. Waking up in my bed often leaves me confused now.
"'Bout time."
Oh if you're still pissed at me, I'm just going to go right back into unconsciousness.
"You can't think of a better way to avoid me other than to pass out?"
"Only place I know that you can't follow." The sound of my voice surprises me a little. Sounds like I've been out all night drinking sand. I can't quite manage to clear it, but then I'm starting to drift off to sleep again. The pain's gone and the drowsiness is a sure indication Janet's got me on some strong stuff.
"I'd appreciate a little less amateur dramatics in the future, my knees can't take it." It takes me a moment to work out what he means. He caught me.
"Sorry." I'm a firm believer of looking someone in the eyes when doing that. If someone does that when they were wrong, that simple non-physical contact shows they're not ashamed to admit it. That they can face there mistakes and put it right. Jack done it back on Euronda. It's my turn now. One eye is all I can manage though, but Jacks looking at the paper cup in his hand instead.
"Don't worry about it. Saved you a bump I guess..."
"Not your knees."
Look at me, I can't keep my eye open for long!
"Oh?"
Finally.
"Yeah, what I said. I'm sorry."
"You were right."
"No, I didn't know what they were doing."
"But you were right to want to ask questions, Daniel. I shouldn't have tried to brush it all aside like that." Jack looks back down at the polystyrene cup as he twirls it in his hand. The rim has been picked at and parts of it are missing. Evidence of Jack's boredom. How long has he been here? "I keep thinking if...if Alar hadn't let what he had, slip. We'd be helping kill, all those people because of the colour of their skin."
"But we're not. You stopped them. You stopped that war. Think of the lives you've helped today."
"As opposed to the ones I've..."
"Don't, Jack."
"I saw them. Before the explosion." His friend frowns. "I've done some terrible things. I've killed." He shrugs. "Never for that reason though."
"It wasn't your reason. You didn't know."
"I had plenty of opportunities to find out."
"Jack."
"You look beat. Get some sleep."
He's walking away before I could convince him to stay. He's taking it bad. Way bad, since the last time I seen him this bad was after we first met.
He's going to need that beer and hockey game more than ever, and as soon as I'm out of this place, I'll be knocking on his door with a six-pack and a pizza. We'll both know at that point nothing needs to be said about this day ever again. It went bad, things were said, but that didn't matter. They were friends and they always would be.