Food on the Run – General Jack Year Four - Part Two
"We will take that under consideration, Ambassador. Thank you for your time."
Now where had I heard that before? It's amazing how alike politicians are, even in galaxies millions of light years from each other.
Giving a sketchy bow of the head – the all purpose greeting/farewell that seemed to fit most occasions and most species on Orilla – I withdrew from the council chamber and began the short walk back to my accommodation, already planning how to word my report, although it was anyone's guess when it would be delivered.
Contact with Earth was spasmodic at best, depending as it did on an Asgard vessel being within reasonable distance of the planet so as to relay messages. Of course, for the Asgard a reasonable distance was far further than I could even contemplate, but I couldn't assume my messages would be delivered as soon as I asked – sometimes it was days, or even weeks before they were passed on.
Which meant I was basically on my own here.
The purpose for my visit to the Asgard High Council was a case in point – my trip to Ghi'tain, a trip which had been given the okay by my own government. For some reason the Asgard had withdrawn their approval, and despite the Ghi'tain ambassador's strong protests, refused to change their mind. I wasn't going anywhere. My own protests to the council had also obviously fallen on deaf ears. Oh yes, they were polite and had listened very patiently to my arguments, but it was clear the decision was made – no trip offworld for Ambassador O'Neill, and no explanation given as to why.
And Thor was nowhere to be found. Off on some hush-hush mission was all the response I was given, with a thinly veiled insult from one of the junior ranks in his office when I asked. It seemed I should consider myself lucky to be told that much.
The day was clear with a very light breeze doing little more than shifting the leaves of the strangely shaped trees lining the boulevard. I wasn't the only one on the long white pavement, small groups of Asgard passing me with the normal polite stares. I ignored them and hurried on, looking forward to getting out of the uniform I'd donned for the occasion.
"O'Neill – wait." The sound of claws skittering had me turning. Bob was hurrying toward me, his long limbs eating up the distance between us. Short Asgard bodies skipped sideways with rather uncoordinated jumps as he approached, their large eyes blinking furiously.
I had arbitrarily decided to name the Ghi'tain ambassador something short enough to remember and easy to pronounce, and he didn't appear to mind – in fact he seemed to find it rather amusing. I didn't tell him that I'd chosen 'Bob' because of the way his head moved when he walked.
He came right to the point, as was his custom. "You were successful?"
"No, the council refuses to let me go to your planet, nor will they give me any reason why they've changed their minds."
He shook his head back and forward on his narrow neck. "I also could get no explanation. I shall lodge an official protest. It is unprecedented that they will not allow an ambassador to travel freely when invited to do so. No other species is restricted in this way."
"I wish I knew what the problem was, but they're not talking." We had reached my door and I offered him an invitation. "Would you like to come in? We can discuss this further over lunch."
"Yes, perhaps together we can devise a strategy to change the Asgards' minds."
Placing my palm against the control pad, I waited for the door to open, stepping in as soon as it did so.
I left Bob in the lounge room and took off my jacket, hanging it and my tie in the closet. I then threw on the jeans and long sleeved t-shirt I had put ready for when I got home.
"What would you like to drink?" I asked, as I returned, waiting to program his choice into the dispenser.
"Whatever you are having, O'Neill. I like to try new tastes."
Which put me in a little dilemma. I had no idea if any of my Earth selections would be poisonous to his alien physiology. Visions of disposing of dead ambassadorial bodies by giving them to Garmr to eat flashed through my mind. Thinking for a moment, I decided to play it safe and taped in the code for a local Asgard beverage I had seen him drink before.
I held it out. "I like this – it's a bit like an Earth drink called orange juice."
"Then can we not try this orange juice you mention instead?"
I decided to come clean and explained the problem but all Bob did was give a wave of his second pair of legs.
"It is not a problem." He opened his small mouth and extended a long, thin tongue. "I can test for poison before tasting. We Ghi'tain feast on many foods you would think inedible and are happy for the chance to try as many as possible."
"You're sure?"
"Of course."
It only took a second to get two tall glasses of orange juice from the dispenser and, after sticking the tip of his tongue into it, Bob was soon sucking up the drink with obvious enjoyment.
"This is plant based?" I nodded and he continued. "I usually prefer protein based beverages, but this is delicious."
"Protein based? You mean like milk?"
I could see he was puzzled, so I gave a short explanation of milk sources on Earth. To my surprise he gave a shiver of distaste.
"My people would never consider using the bodily fluid of mammals for food. No, I meant the creatures themselves."
For a moment I was taken aback by his answer, but then I started thinking of the various beef extract drinks on the market back home and soups based on meat stock and nodded.
"We have a few of those as well, but plant based drinks are far more common."
We both sat, sipping our orange juice as I wondered why I had assumed the Ghi'tains were vegetarians. Not that it mattered.
It was just as I was about to get us some lunch when I realised why I'd had the nagging feeling that had been poking me in the back since I walked in my door.
Garmr.
It wasn't like him to be so – well, not in your face. He always made his presence known, especially when I was entertaining guests.
"Excuse me. I'm wondering where Garmr's got to." I stood and went to the back door, checking the small area at the rear. There weren't a lot of places for a werga to hide, even if he was the sort of creature to feel the need to hide from anything – except maybe when laying in wait for prey.
Oh god!
I trotted quickly to the six foot high back fence, trying not to panic. It was as I was standing on tip toes and peering over it at the wide parklands beyond that Bob's voice came from the back door.
"I'm very sorry, O'Neill. I have just received word that I am needed. We will have to postpone our discussion, and our meal."
Dropping back down a few inches to the ground I turned and managed an understanding smile.
"No worries. I'll let you know if I hear anything more from the Asgard before we meet again." I re-entered the house, walking with him to the front door. "Call me when you're free."
"I will do so, O'Neill. May your path be smooth."
I gave a small bow and the correct response. "And your journey successful."
To be honest, I couldn't wait for Bob to be gone so that I could find Garmr.
He'd been a little put out by the meals I'd given him lately and had actually turned his nose up at the plate of jertd fruit I'd given him this morning. He'd liked it the last four meals I'd served it to him. The damn animal was far too fussy. It wasn't like there was a lot of choice of meat sources available on Orilla.
I ran back toward the fence, thinking about the many small grey Asgard meat sources walking around the park totally unsuspecting.
A large body flew over the wall, landing several feet from it.
I just had time to see a look that was remarkably like a smirk on the werga's face when he opened his mouth and dropped the object hanging limply from it onto the ground at my feet.
A rabbit?
Surely not.
Prodding the lump of fur with my toe I started bending to get a closer look. Sure looked like a rabbit. Long floppy ears, soft brown fur, and small cute little nose. Poor thing…
The bunny leapt to its feet and lunged, clenching its large, sharp teeth in my leg.
Crap! Before I could react it was gone, Garmr hot on its heels. I just had time to see its little white cottontail disappearing through the door into the house when my view was blocked by Garmr as he entered in pursuit. I ignored the blood dripping from the bite in my calf and followed.
Now, the house the Asgard allocated to me wasn't huge, but it certainly was big enough for me, consisting of two bedrooms, a sitting area, a formal dining room for those times I needed to be all ambassadorial, a study, a bathroom, and an eat-in kitchen. I had unpacked all the belongings I'd brought with me from Earth and the place looked remarkably homey.
One thing it wasn't designed for was hunting.
I spun, almost falling, as brown fur flew between my legs and a gigantic steely grey body brushed past, whacking me with his tail.
"Garmr! Leave it alone!"
A bowl fell with a crash as a bookshelf shook. Paws scrabbled for purchase on the smooth floor surface, leaving long scratches.
"Garmr!"
Why the hell I thought he would listen to me I had no idea, but it was all I could think to do, other than stand, spinning in place like a whirling dervish. Then I spotted the bunny as it scurried into the bathroom. Garmr was on the other side of the room and I got there before him, slamming the door in his face and trapping his prey inside.
Unfortunately for me the werga didn't have time to stop, crashing into me and catapulting me to the ground in a tangle of arms, legs and fur.
I lay there for a moment, before opening my eyes and staring back at his face looking down into mine. A large drop of drool landed on my cheek.
"Get off me, you stupid bastard!" I pushed, hoping to move his weight off my chest enough to allow me to take a breath.
I needed to breathe to swear.
He moved just enough and I proceeded to let him know exactly what I thought of him in several languages, both Earth and alien. I think it was the insult to his mother couched in the artistic imagery of Cantonese that finally got to him. He growled, long strings of drool hanging dangerously down, and stood, giving a massive shake then looking back over his shoulder at me with a fierceness that promised retribution.
I grabbed hold of his wiry fur and hauled myself up, muttering yet another curse at the pain from the bunny bite.
Speaking of which…
Limping over to the communication console, I called one of the Asgard assigned to me as liaison with the council and explained what had happened.
I'd hoped for a wildlife rescue person or something. Instead I got a team of Asgard wearing masks and what looked like hazmat suits.
Ten of them.
"But it's just a rabbit!"
Their leader pulled me aside, moving me out of the way, and sat me down in a chair as far from the bathroom door as possible.
"I do not know what these rabbits are that you talk of, but this is a very vicious creature, renowned for their cruelty when hunting."
"Hunting? They hunt?"
The cute little bunnies hunted? Shades of 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail.'
"They do. I am surprised your werga is unharmed. Their bite can be fatal."
My reply was instinctive. "He isn't my werga."
Wait!
"Fatal?" Rolling up my trousers, I extended my leg. "It bit me."
************
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
************
Three days later I limped home, the medical facility only able to do so much. Or at least that's what Eriffer told me.
He was a bit too much like Janet Fraiser for my liking. I suspected he wanted to be sure I would obey his orders to not overtax the healing wound. I wouldn't put it past him to leave a bit of healing to occur naturally just to slow me down.
Garmr was waiting, and he didn't look at all sorry.
I ignored him, after giving him a hard thump on the back. Damn creature seemed to like it. He looked positively angelic.
Moving very carefully, I got changed and into bed, welcoming the familiar feeling of my soft Earth pillow.
I was just drifting off when I heard the sound of two sets of scrambling paws coming from the bathroom.
Oh for crying out loud!
***********
TBC
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