Cultural Enlightenment
Cultural Enlightenment
by AC
TITLE: Cultural Enlightenment
AUTHOR: AC
EMAIL: acheek@home.com
CATEGORY: Sam and Jack
SPOILERS: Not really
SEASON / SEQUEL: Second Season, after "Serpent's Song."
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: m/f
SUMMARY: It's late, Sam's tired, and the guys are keeping her from getting any work done.
STATUS: Complete
ARCHIVE: Heliopolis
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Opening my eyes, I realize two things. First, my foot's asleep -- agonizingly numb, pins and needles asleep. Second, I'm face down and drooling on my computer keyboard. With a groan, I sit up in my chair, trying to get my bearings. The clock on the wall reads 2236 hours. I stretch, then look at the monitor. I must have been asleep for at least half an hour, because when I scroll down through my report, there are twelve pages full of gibberish where my face had done the typing.
"Ugh." I run my hands over my cheeks, trying to wake myself up. Is that the faint impression of little square keys on my face? Probably. I grab a sip of coffee, grimacing as the cold, bitter liquid slides down my throat.
Now, the leg. I tap my heal on the floor a few times. Discomfort flares through my foot, but when I try standing, my leg doesn't give out from under me. I begin walking around my office to restore circulation, sighing.
I'm working late to finish up reports so that I can take tomorrow off and go to Denver to meet a friend. Well, I guess friend would be the best word for him. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a precise word in the dictionary that means, "Person that one sees one or twice a year, whom if neither are involved in a committed relationship, commence to have mad passionate sex with each other."
Pity. It would be much easier to explain.
I grin. Gudmund is a doctor of astrophysics, like myself. We met five years ago at a conference. The conference itself was quite interesting, but the evening's entertainment never was. No matter. We managed to find ways to occupy ourselves to our mutual satisfaction.
Since my assignment to the SGC, I rarely attend professional conferences. It isn't like I can talk about my work. But Gudmund always manages to find time to visit me when he's in America. He only began pestering me to marry him last year. Fortunately, he's also good about taking no for an answer. A good thing, since I have little desire to move to Oslo, Norway.
It isn't an ideal relationship. It is, however, all I have time for at the moment. And if he was always around, we'd drive each other crazy within days. Yet another reason why I shouldn't marry him.
There's one small problem about tomorrow night. Not long after our last meeting, I was blended with Jolinar against my will.
The remnants of her memories are often fragmented and unclear. But when we met the Tok'ra, she was very clear on one point. She wanted Martouf again, and was quite willing to use me to get to him. And when those memories were at the forefront of my mind, I had no problem with that, either. We haven't had such an opportunity, and she isn't happy.
Of course, I haven't seen Martouf in a few weeks, but as I began planning my assignation with Gudmund, Jolinar made her disapproval quite clear. I'd tried cajoling her, feeling not a bit insane for trying to bargain with a dead symbiote's memories. I reminded her just how great Gudmund was in bed. I told her how I hadn't been with anyone since I last saw him ten months ago. I stated that if she was going to give me countless memories of great sex with Martouf, it was hardly fair to expect me to pine fruitlessly away over him when there was a perfectly healthy, gorgeous man on this planet who wanted to sleep with me.
I still feel the emotions of betrayal. They aren't comfortable, but I'm pretty sure I can live with them, knowing that they aren't mine. My big problem is wondering if I'll call out Martouf's name at an inappropriate moment.
Oh well. I can always ask Gudmund to gag me. He'd probably enjoy it.
But if I don't finish my report, I won't have tomorrow off at all. I firmly shove all thoughts of Jolinar and Martouf to the back of my mind and look at my computer again. I stretch once more, then bent down to touch my toes. I'm still sleepy. Walking to the door of my lab, I peek out into the corridor. No one's around. It's late. It's not likely that anyone's going to barge in at this hour.
Manic dance cure it is. I turn to my CD player and turn it on. It starts blasting the Goo Goo Dolls, and it isn't a fast frantic song, but I start jumping around the room anyway. One or two songs of this and I'll have enough energy to finish this last report, get some sleep, and get up early to drive to Denver.
Turning in circles, I sing snatches of the song, thrashing my head up and down to get my blood circulating again. "And I don't want the world to see me /'Cause I don't think that they'd understand / la la la something la la la/I just want you to know who I am."
It's working. I feel awake, alive, I can finish this report with both hands tied behind my back and typing with my nose, and tomorrow I could practically sprint all the way to Denver and still have the energy to screw Gudmund so senseless that his eyes would roll back into his head and he'd forget all the science he's ever learned. I am Captain Sam Carter, USAF, and I am invincible!
"Captain Carter, you are acting strangely. Are you well?"
I spin around, eyes wide. Teal'c, Daniel, and Colonel O'Neill are standing in the doorway. Teal'c looks puzzled, and the other two are trying to play it cool, but I can tell what's coming.
There are several social dynamics within a team. I'm second in command, so I have the right to give Teal'c and Daniel orders. I'm part of a team that has worked together for almost two years now, so I know that I can trust any one of them with my life. I'm the scientist, who works with the scholar, the warrior, and the leader. But at this moment, I'm the woman, and the men are about to give me a hard time. It's written all over their faces. Might as well get it over with.
Catching my breath, I wave them into the room, and turn the music down. "I'm fine, Teal'c. I was tired, so I was dancing to raise my energy level."
He raises an eyebrow, still curious. "That was indeed an unusual dance, Captain. We have nothing comparable on Chulak."
O'Neill opens his mouth, but I beat him to it. "What sort of dances do you have, Teal'c?"
"A few are group dances, but most are formal and ceremonial, telling of our legends and history. Of the dances of the Tau'ri, ballet would come closest. I have enjoyed the ballet programs I have seen very much." He looks at me speculatively. "Do you know any ballet, Captain Carter?"
I throw my head back and laugh. "I took some lessons when I was eight, but I'm too tall to be a ballerina, Teal'c. Someone Janet's size, now, she'd be more the type. But I think she likes being a doctor better."
O'Neill and Daniel are exchanging glances, clearly annoyed that I've managed to deflect their teasing before they had a chance to start it. Oblivious to their chagrin, Teal'c keeps talking. "Captain Carter, I feel certain that your height would not be a detriment. Allow me to demonstrate a lift I saw one of my tapes." He moves towards me, and I backpedal behind my desk, raising my hands in defense.
"No! Teal'c, if you pick me up my head will probably bang into the ceiling!" He keeps pursuing me, I keep backing up, and now I'm wondering if this isn't his way of tormenting me. He wouldn't make wisecracks like our other team members, but I need to find something to distract him. Quickly!
"But, Teal'c, there are lots of other Earth dances besides ballet! How about, um, waltzing!? Do you know how to waltz?" I ask somewhat desperately.
He shakes his head. "I do not."
"Great! Fine! Daniel, come here. Let's show him what waltzing is." Daniel grins, laughing softly at my tactics, and steps forward, taking me into his arms. "Colonel, will you provide the music?"
He scowls at me for a moment, then winks. "Sure, Carter. And one two three, one two three..." He counts out the waltz rhythm and then begins humming "The Blue Danube Waltz."
Daniel and I spin around the room, demonstrating for Teal'c, who watches our dancing attentively, occasionally casting his attention towards O'Neill, who is still humming away. After a minute or so, we stop in front of them, and bow towards each other.
"Okay, how was that?" Teal'c raises an eyebrow, and O'Neill applauds, grinning.
"Most interesting, Captain Carter. With what other Tau'ri dances are you familiar?"
This was definitely not how I'd planned to spend Thursday night, but I'm not complaining at the moment. Daniel, Teal'c, and I were headed out for some beers, and we stopped by Carter's office to see if she wanted to come along. She was jumping around her office like a complete spaz, and now for some reason we're all teaching Teal'c as many dances as we can come up with. Carter and Daniel did some waltzing, Daniel taught us a group circle dance from Abydos, I taught Teal'c the Hustle, and now Carter is tormenting us all by doing something Arabic.
Her CD collection is scattered all over the place, and when Daniel found one with music from the Middle East, she blushed and admitted that she'd taken some classes when she was younger. Now she's twisting around, sensually moving her torso and hips in a way that I haven't seen since I did a tour in Kuwait. Who knew the human body could move quite like that? Or more specifically, that Carter could move like that? Teal'c is watching appreciatively, and Daniel has a funny look on his face.
"You OK?" I whisper to him, as he shifts his glasses and squints.
"Yeah." He exhales softly. "Sha're danced like that for me once. It just reminded me --"
I pat his shoulder. "I know." Then inspiration strikes, and I dig in my pockets for the beer money. Carter isn't watching us, doing some sort of back bend and waving her arms gracefully in the air, so I press a bill into his hand. He looks questioningly at me, and I explain, "For Carter."
"Are you out of your mind? She'll kill us!" He looks at me, aghast, then shakes his head and laughs silently. As the music draws to a close, Carter pulls herself back into a standing position, and sees us applauding and holding out the money. We do our best to smile ingenuously.
Our gesture has the intended effect. "Hey!" she yells. "That isn't funny!"
Teal'c looks confused. "Is it not the custom to reward the dancer when she is finished, Captain Carter?"
"Not really, not unless she's a stripper, Teal'c!" Carter's face is red, and I just know she's kicking herself for letting her guard down. Did she really think I could pass up such an opportunity to bait her like that? But now it looks like we're headed for trouble, because Teal'c's normally impassive face looks threatening.
"Colonel O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, you have offended Captain Carter. I must insist that you apologize." He fixes us with a stern glare.
Daniel and I look at each other, and agree. Yes, teasing Sam is fun, but having Teal'c mad at us is not good. "Sorry, Sam," I say quietly.
"My apologies," Daniel grins. "Jack made me do it."
Carter shakes her head and laughs. "You guys are incorrigible. I really should get back to work."
"Ah, come on," I wheedle. "One more dance? We need to continue Teal'c cultural enrichment!"
Teal'c's lips curve up into a faint smile. "It has indeed been enlightening. I should enjoy another, if it will not disrupt your work, Captain."
Hands on her hips, she concedes, smiling. "All right. What dance? But nothing too strenuous, I'm getting tired again."
"Teal'c, have you seen slow dancing?" I ask.
"As opposed to very quick dancing, O'Neill?" He looks confused again. I grin. You gotta love the guy.
"Carter, some music?" She smirks, and puts in one of her CDs, the Carnival Dolls, or Goo Goo Clusters, or whatever the band is called. "Something slow?" She nods, and the sound of a guitar echoes through the room, joined a moment later by another guitar and strings. Carter clasps her hands around my neck, I rest mine just above her waist, and we dance, hamming it up a bit for Teal'c and Daniel.
/And you're not thinking about tomorrow cause you were the same as me/
I can hardly ever understand the words to modern rock. And if the words are clear enough, I still don't get what they're singing about. Cassie has thoroughly embraced modern pop music, and whenever I spend time with her, she's always got something new with which to bombard my eardrums. Most of it's completely incomprehensible, so I've learned to try and just appreciate the melodies and layers of the music, and not worry about understanding the lyrics. The last time we went hiking, she had a new CD for us to listen to on the drive up to the state park, and at the end of one song, I commented on what a pretty tune it was, so sweet and cheerful. She rolled her eyes in pity, informing me that the song was about drug addiction and suicide. I don't know what this song is about, but the singer's voice is husky and mournful, spinning a melancholy spell around us. The lyrics don't matter. We smile at each other, relaxing into each others' arms, and just dance.
I know she's going to Denver tomorrow to see an old boyfriend. She showed me his picture earlier -- a photo of the two of them together last fall. I'd been hoping he'd be a complete pencil-necked science nerd, but as luck would have it, he's tall and strong, with thick blond hair, eyes as bright and blue as hers, and depressingly handsome. By this time tomorrow night, she'll be in his arms, probably making love with him. And I will not feel jealous, I won't. It's not fair to her for me to be jealous. What with exploring other planets, all her scientific research, and helping save the world on a monthly basis, Carter doesn't have much time for any semblance of a normal life. If this Gudmund character makes her happy, then she should take what she can get.
If circumstances had been different, and she wasn't under my command, I have no doubt we'd have gotten involved very soon after we met. I was sarcastic and snide, trying to get a feel for whether or not she'd be a liability, and she stood up to me. She wasn't intimidated by me. A challenge. She's strong and brave and beautiful, and she's way smarter than me. And she's my friend, one of the best ones I've ever had.
/falling down the world turned over and angels fall without you there and I go on as you get colder or are you someone's prayer?/
The music still doesn't make any sense, but it doesn't need to. It's sweet and sad, and we sway together, under the command of its yearning melody.
My thoughts towards Carter are decidedly walking a fine line these days between friendship and breaking the regs, but what will or won't happen between us almost doesn't signify. We just flirt and have fun with each other, and occasionally when the tension gets to be too much, we back off for a while before beginning again. But no matter what, we never talk about it. I can tease her, needle her, and fantasize about her, and she can give me knowing glances and bait me, and we can walk the line all we want, but we don't say anything serious to each other about how we feel, because that would be breaking the unspoken rule that we've worked out. We both know that our feelings towards each other aren't merely platonic, but if we don't admit to anything in words, we can pretend that we're safe, that we're just friends, and we'd certainly never fantasize about each other. Right. She's my second in command, she's often infuriating, she's incredibly sexy. She's Sam, and whatever else she is to me, she's always my friend. I don't want anything to change that. I don't know if anything ever could.
I look at Daniel and Teal'c and smile. Here, in this room, is my family. After I retired, I'd holed up from the world, and I'd forgotten how close teammates get. I don't have any family anymore, Sam's dad is with the Tok'ra, Teal'c's family is in the Land of Light, and who knows where poor Sha're is, trapped by her symbiote, kept away from Daniel who misses her so badly. But here, with each other, we're with family -- not the ones we were given, but the one we chose. We're friends, and I'd kill to protect any one of them, and they know it. No once-a-year roll-in-the-hay boyfriend can compete with that, so there's no need for jealousy, is there?
/and I'll go on to lead you home/
Home. I never thought I'd have one again, after Charlie died and Sara and I divorced. I even bought myself a house without all the memories, but that was just a place to stay. It wasn't home when I no longer had a family. Nowadays, the SGC is home. Hell, everywhere is home if I'm with my team. We explore the galaxy, and we've faced danger, and we're at war with the Goa'uld. But there's so much we've seen that's good, so many people we've met who give me hope. The Nox, the Asgard, even the Tollan. And maybe the Tok'ra? I'm still nervous around those guys, but Sam's dad becoming a host to Selmac did a lot bring our two worlds closer.
We're at war. But most of the time now, I'm happy. I never thought I'd be happy again. Sometimes I feel guilty, as though I'm forgetting my son, but then I'm just so amazed at how my life has changed. I was in a cold, dead place, and before I knew these people would be my friends, they came and gave me something to fight for, with the promise that they'd be by my side.
/and I'll become what you became to me/
Oh, for crying out loud. I'm getting maudlin. Blame it on the music.
* * * *
Teal'c's isn't really smiling, but his face is so much more relaxed than usual that I can tell he's happy tonight, and it makes me glad. Yes, we've spent the last forty-five minutes or so being somewhat foolish, but he knows a bit more about Earth now, and being silly isn't always a bad thing.
Colonel O'Neill and I step apart as the music moves on to another song, and I walk over to the CD player and turn it off. "Well, I certainly feel awake enough to finish my report now."
Daniel smiles, then sneezes. "Good God, Sam, where did that monstrosity come from?" He points to the top of my file cabinet, where a vase filled with a dozen pink roses sits. With the confident arrogance of friendship, he strides over and snatches the card. "My darling Samantha, I cannot wait until your cheeks are the same rosy shade, love you madly, Gudmund." He raises his eyebrows, and I bury my face in my hands.
"Gee, thanks Daniel, maybe you could announce it over the intercom." And thank you Gudmund, for being nice and explicit. I will punish him for this. He sends me those roses every time we get together, and swears that they're the exact shade that my cheeks turn when I climax. At least he didn't work that into the note, but I think the guys will figure it out nonetheless. Yeah, they're my friends, and I love them all, but when did that give Daniel the right to pry into my sex life?
"Can I? Really?" He grins maniacally, then pouts when Jack swipes the note and hands it to me. "Ah, and I was going to scan it and post it on the Internet!"
Teal'c, on the other hand, is frowning again. "That is an unusual message, Captain Carter. Who is this Gudmund? Are his intentions towards you honorable?"
Daniel shakes his head. "Oh, definitely not, Teal'c, otherwise she'd have introduced him to us, don't you think?"
"Hey! I need to get back to work, and my personal life is my own business!" I glare at Daniel.
"But, Captain Carter, if this man is not worthy of you--"
"Teal'c," Colonel O'Neill interrupts, "Sam will be just fine. Remind me to cover cultural romantic differences between Earth and Chulak sometime." He smiles gently at me, his dark eyes affectionate and understanding. "She doesn't get much time off, and she deserves to enjoy herself with a friend. That's all we need to know about, OK?" He steers them towards the door, and looks back at me. "Have fun in Denver, Sam, and come home safe. That's an order."
"Yes, sir." I wave goodbye to them, sticking my tongue out at Daniel, and sit back down at my desk. I move the cursor to disrupt the screen saver and bring back my report, and begin selecting and erasing the gibberish from earlier when I fell asleep on the keyboard.
The report doesn't take much longer to complete, and within fifteen minutes I've printed it out and turned off my computer. I rearrange my CD collection, and walk around the lab straightening things up before I leave for the night.
I walk down the hall and put a copy of my report into the file box by Colonel O'Neill's office, then head to the elevators. As I walk into my quarters on base, I realize that I feel different, somehow. Not so keyed up as before? If I were to concentrate, I could probably get in contact with Jolinar's memories yammering away about Martouf, but it's not bothering me now. The heavy load of guilt, so oppressive even though it wasn't even mine, is gone. You hear that, Jolinar? If I get involved with Martouf, it's going to be because I want to, not because some dead symbiote's memories don't know when to shut up. And he is awfully cute....
Peace at last.
I wash my face, brush my teeth, and change into an oversized t-shirt. Turning out the light, I crawl into bed with a contented sigh, glad of the chance to rest. Staring into the darkness, I think about the colonel's final words. "Come home safe," he said. Not judging me, not laying a guilt trip on me like Jolinar did. He cares for me, I know, but we're not going to break regulations any time soon, if ever, and he doesn't expect me not to live my life. I'm going to get up in the morning and have a wonderful time, enjoying what I can have and accepting my life for what it is -- not perfect in every respect, but wonderful nonetheless.
Closing my eyes, I smile. Colonel O'Neill's a good friend, even when he's overbearing, and tonight he was downright compassionate, getting Daniel and Teal'c off my case. I trust him with my life, even if I can't yet give him my heart without reservations. He knows me for who I am. I turn and bury my head into the pillow, anticipating tomorrow, but at the same time wishing tonight would never end. I'm here, I'm home, and it's a damn good place to be.
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