It must have been love
It must have been love
by Amy Robinson
Title: It must have been love
Author: Amy Robinson
Email: amy_robinson@email.com
Category: Angst, POV, Thoughts
Episode related: 405 Divide and Conquer
Season: Season 4
Pairing: Sam/Jack
Rating: PG
Warnings: minor language
Summary: Sam's thinking again - when will she learn? I think i was drunk and miserable when i wrote this.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author(s).
It must have been love
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me... he loves me not... I find myself wishing that a simple flower held the answer to my question. I feel as though I've lost something and I'm kicking myself for never having had it in the first place. I've been so cold to him and I swear I don't mean to be but if we spent the day sending each other meaningful little looks that reminded us of those feelings - gathered, put on show for all to see and then carefully locked away - then I'm not sure I could enjoy my job or his company anymore.
If everytime we see each other we stop and stare for that millisecond too long, wondering what we've lost by our admissions, then we'll be locked in a never-ending cycle and that's not how it's meant to be. It's not meant to be this way dammit! And if I can't stop then neither can he.
'Lay a whisper on my pillow
leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, the glare of silence
In the bedroom and all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away...'
I don't know what it is I'm supposed to do and nobody can help me because, officially, we're mindless automatons with no free will and no emotion to spent on each other save for teammate comradery. But it's those damn looks he gives. Like he's staring at my soul and with all my heart I want to let him but I can't. if he goes there then we can't turn back. Though I'm not sure we haven't already reached that point.
'It must have been love but it's over now it must have been love but I lost it somehow it must have been love but it's over now from the moment we touched
to the time that ran out'
In those too few seconds, when he could bring himself to admit that there were feelings beneath his sarcastic soldier mask, I almost smiled, I almost cried, I almost laughed, I almost shook, I almost closed my eyes to it all and I almost let myself believe it. I don't care if the stupid machine reads the conscious and unconscious mind, that it knows the subject better than the subject knows itself, that the moment he said exactly what I wanted to hear - and exactly what I most feared - was the exact moment that the machine confirmed he was telling the truth. In those too few seconds my heart soared... and then plummeted back to Earth.
'Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside I turn to water
Like a teardrop in your pond
And it's a hard winters day
I dream away'
All I ever wanted was my career, to go into space, to make my father proud and now I have it... but I'd trade it all for one day with Jack O'Neill. Just one day to see what it's like, to see if what I want to believe the most is true.
That he'd be worth it all.
'It must have been love but it's over now It was all that I wanted now I'm living without'
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not...
He loves me...
I love him too.
It must have been love but it's over now It must have been good but I lost it somehow It must have been love but it's over now From the moment we touched
To the time that ran out
Yeah, it must have been love...
Authors notes: song was 'Must have been love' by Roxette Please take into account that this little piece of fluff was written at 05:51 in the morning :)
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Amy Robinson
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