The Sam Carter List Chapter One: You're a genius by FumblesMcStupid

The Sam Carter List Chapter One: You're a genius von FumblesMcStupid

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I don't think there are any spoilers, but this is my first fanfic. A very small bit of violence is included. Please send me feedback, no matter how trivial, thanks!

A/N: This is my first try at writing fanfic, please be kind! Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism is welcome. Thanks to BiteMeTechie for the plot/energizer bunnies, I hope you don't mind me borrowing them! Also, a big thank-you to Jonezee, for beta reading this, (and for setting more plot bunnies loose, cheers!)

Chapter One: You're a genius

"No, no, no, NO!"

Rodney McKay was standing with his nose about an inch from Kavanaugh's, his face beetroot, and his hands twitched as if he was longing to wrap them around Kavanaugh's throat and throttle him.

"You DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, activate the ZPM in *series* with the Naquadah generators, unless you want to blow out every circuit from here to the control room! You activate them in *parallel* with each other. In fact, you are NEVER to touch the ZPM again, EVER! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!!"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, Dr. McKay, no Dr. McKay, three bags..."

That was as far as Kavanaugh actually got, because the irate scientist grabbed him by his ponytail and back of his lab coat and threw him bodily out the door, with a yell of, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LAB!"

After the doors slammed shut after Kavanaugh's departure, Rodney just stood there, his fists clenched and breathing heavily, looking like he was about to explode. The rest of the science team stared in disbelief at their boss. Had he really just physically kicked Calvin Kavanaugh out of the Astrophysics lab?

"You should not allow yourself to be angered so," said a soft voice with a heavy Czech accent.

"Yes," Rodney snapped, "I know."

"Come," commanded Dr. Zelenka, leading his superior out of the lab and onto a conveniently empty nearby balcony, before Rodney could start on any of the other scientists.

Once they were outside, Dr. McKay growled, "Bloody idiot."

"He *is* an idiot; do not waste you breath trying to tell him that. It is plain for all the expedition to see. He is not worth the effort," soothed Dr. Zelenka.

Radek's words and the cool sea breeze seemed to have some effect, as the Canadian answered in something approaching his normal voice. "Radek, you know as well as I that if I hadn't stopped him, it's very likely that power would have been cut off to the control room, including the stargate, permanently."

"Yes, yes, it is plausible, it is true, but there was no need to get so... wound up... about it." At that, Radek paused. Rodney, although well known for being a drama queen and had a vicious tongue, had never 'lost it' so completely, although Radek admitted, Kavanaugh would try the patience of a saint and Rodney McKay was no saint by any stretch of the imagination. Yet there was no real reason for him to snap like that. Perhaps it was stress?

Chancing his arm, the Czech asked, "Are you alright Rodney? You appear pretty... tense."

"Tense, stressed out, worked up, in a tiz, my knickers are in a twist, whatever you want to call it, I haven't been this stressed since preparing for my exams in my freshman year!" wailed Rodney.

"May I ask why?" enquired Zelenka cautiously.

Rodney stared off into the horizon for a few minutes before answering. "I don't really know why I got so annoyed. I just feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to come up with brilliant ideas, to keep saving our asses from the Wraith, the Genii, storms, lack of power..." he sighed, "Don't say a word to anyone, especially the senior staff, please Radek?"

Surprised at being taken into confidence, Radek agreed, "Ano, is our secret. I will not speak. However, I must ask, why do you feel like *you* have to come up with all the ideas?"

"Because I have the highest IQ in Atlantis, I'm the Chief Scientist; it's my job to pull brilliant ideas out of my ass!"

Ignoring the unpleasant imagery, the smaller scientist continued to press the issue. "Why, though? There are many intelligent people in Atlantis; why not let them come up with the ideas for a change, hmm?"

Rodney scowled. "If I allowed idiots like Kavanaugh to come up with ideas, the city would sink within a week. Can you imagine the harebrained, daft, certifiable whack-job ideas..." his voice trailed off and his eyes lost focus suddenly. "Certifiable whack-job... certifiable... certi..."

"Rodney! You are not making sense. Are you alright?" squeaked Radek, concerned at his friend's unusual behaviour.

"Radek, you're a genius!" cried McKay and promptly kissed him on the cheek.

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The Sam Carter List Chapter One: You're a genius von FumblesMcStupid

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