Guilt and Fault von Xtin

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Atlantis at night, still very creepy Elizabeth Weir thought to her self as she walked the quiet corridors leading to the control room.

Entering, she saw one person, the one who is here so often at night Weir thought maybe there's something wrong with his quarters. "Rodney." she said, waking him from his thoughts and making him look up from his laptop.

"Elizabeth"

"shouldn't you be sleeping"

"oh I'm fine, look at this, I managed to isolate even more of the different command settings. That will enable us to lock down, most of the explored areas of the city and even some we haven't been to yet, in the event of an attack"

"Wow, good work Rodney, this might come in handy someday"

"yea, well it was Dr. Zelencas Project actually and he wouldn't leave until he's finished but he really looked a mess, I told him to go have a shut eye."

"yea talking about shut eye.."

"listen Liz, considering the immediate threat I have a hard time believing anyone here gets to have a good night rest"

"oh yes I know what you mean, I shouldn't be talking, but I'm worried about you Rodney"

maybe it was the sincerity in her tone but he looked stricken" why hey, I'm fine Liz"

"for the last few days, weeks actually, no matter at what time of the day I walk in here I always find you, and if not here than at one of the research labs or in the shuttle bay"

"Well you have to admit it's a lot to be explored"

"Yes it is, but you do have to give it a rest once in a while"

"you're right, I'm sorry, I will"

Now way would Dr. Weir let him get off the hook that easily, there was something big bugging her friend and she was determent to find out what.

"Lets take a walk Rod"

"You just told me to get some sleep"

"I know, but I also know that you wouldn't go unless I escorted you in which case you would simply wait for me to leave and then come back here"

"I could never be so deceptive!" Mckay's expression was so convincing anyone else would believe he is deeply offended by that accusation.

So they walked in silence through the corridors until they reached one of the smaller balcony's. The view over the ocean from anywhere in the city was just so impressive.

"I know that you're feeling the pressure" Dr. Weir started out of the blue " we all do, but you probably more than most of us"

He looked greatly confused "Liz what..."

"You think in case of an emergency it will come down to what you have figured out about this place that could save us"

Yes Rodney was catching on, she could see that in the way his face changed from confused to slightly amazed and then to taken aback. He was silent, as though at the same time afraid and curious about what came next. He was watching the ocean.

"I grant you that you are probably the brightest guy here" Elisabeth went on "but Rodney, you're not alone. Why don't you trust someone else to help lighten that load a bit"

"Oh Liz, you really know how to surprise people. Am I really such an open book?"

"Don't worry, I think everyone else here bought the I'm-an-ignorant-scientist-and-don't-care-about-your-opinion front"

"hey, who said it's just a front?!...anyway it's not about that I don't trust anyone or something just, I don't know I want to be prepared that's all."

"And we all value your work but you clearly are overdoing it, I don't want you to end up in the infirmary."

"Oh, I don't either believe me, but how do you expect me to be taking it easy while knowing a full scale attack of the enemy is just a heartbeat away and the only means to fight that off is hidden within some ancient mystery box."

"so you want to keep going this way until what... you're drained similar to after a wraith is done with you?"

"Thank you Elisabeth but I can take care of myself"

"I'm not so sure about that." she ignored his offended look "I think you're feeling guilty"

" about what?!"

"about not having figured out a way of getting us back to earth yet" she said that looking directly at him. "That's it isn't it? You somehow think it's your fault that we are stranded in this galaxy several thousand light years from earth. And now you're trying to make up for it by working yourself have to death"

"Listen I really think you are exaggerating a bit! I'm just trying to figure out a way to defend ourselfs. And yes granted I feel guilty that I never thought of ensuring us all a way back home as I was still working at the base in Antarctica. Everyone was so excited about coming here. I'm sure if I had asked Sam, we would have been able to figure this out. But there is nothing I can do about that now and I accept it. So would you please let me off the hook?"

"Not yet."

"What's next?"

"I wanted to give you something to keep in mind"

"What's that?"

"That I have the utmost confidence in your abilities and that I trust you with my life. And what's even more important, I, as well as everyone else here on Atlantis, would never blame you for not having a way for us to get back home."

So there was silence. After a while Rodney, staring into the night sky touching the ocean, finally found his voice again "thanks Liz, I hope I can live up to your expectations."

She smiled "you have already exceeded my expectations, now, get some rest. And don't show up anywhere until at least 09:00."

"I'll try"

"Rodney"

"fine, fine 09:00 it is. Good night" he smiled and walked away

"Good night" she said just as he left the balcony.

The night seemed so peaceful with the stars shining so bright. Elisabeth wondered if the milky way could be seen from here as she felt rather than heard someone enter the balcony.

"Is he going to be okay?" it was Major John Sheppard

"He'll be fine I hope" Dr. Weir said with not a trace of surprise in here voice."Since when have you been listen in on us?"

"The whole time actually. I was about to send him to bed in the control room, but then you've shown up so I thought I'll leave it to you."

"And you've been following us ?"

"Well not exactly, uhm, right okay, yes I have, sorry, but I really wanted to find out what the problem was and he would probably never have told me and neither would you. What kind of a team leader would I be if I not wanted to know what's going on?"

"Alright fine no harm done" She was actually relived that she wasn't the only one watching out for her friend.

"Guilt about not getting us home, how on earth did you figure that out?"

"We're not on earth Major and it wasn't that hard really, I just tried to put myself in his shoes."

"You're not feeling guilty about that too are you?"

"Me, I don't know. I'm trying not to think about it."

"Good, as long as you don't pull a Janeway on us"

"What's that Major?"

"Never mind, what I mean is, nothing of the creepy stuff we run into is your or for that mater anyone's fault here. I know those people we are working with all volunteered to give up their daily lives back home to get out here and explore the Pegasus. Non of them would assign blame, it's not about that."

"I know Major, but thank you for reinforcing that. I just hope it will all have a happy ending"

"Yea, we all do"

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